Healing series wrap up April: Truth in being

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Healing series wrap up: Truth in being!
When we have lived our lives full of lies, not the lies we tell other people but the lies we endure inside the self. That space inside the mind that says I am not able to be loved, I am not able to get through this, I am lost to this and this has such a pain in it no one will love me for it. I know what I felt inside me the day this was very present in me. I remember feeling the lost feeling, and there inside me was this great pain.

I knew that I had to stand in it now, there was no turning back and the lies that my pain had surrounding it gave me no more purpose! No more reason to run, no more reason to hide, no more reason to chase! I could feel it and know that it was going to destroy me, and what I had created inside myself to keep me from this very deep pain I had to embrace. There was no more Mother’s arms to run into because of the pain. It was gone! My beliefs as few as they had been branded from when she left this world were very much another new form of lying I had that gave me truth but no comfort in the truth. I was uncomfortable and what was put together now was shattered. The year prior in my attempt to take my own life wasn’t without this moment. I was now faced with not being the man she was ever going to get to see in this world. And the uncomfortable experience I was left with was the conditions that I hurt from. This shattering was the egos final attempt in breaking every template I could access to find a true love I could live with not even seeing what was left when this was finding it’s path to me.
Flash back to November 5, 2008 6:47 a.m.

That morning the pain was unbearable I woke and could feel something was different, It was the first time that I channeled and knew I was channeling something that was not of this world. I knew she was gone, the energy came and told me what I was to bring here now. The templates were no longer something I could access, only the truth.

The truth of how painful this was is all I can share with you and hopefully bring you to the place this shattering did to me and my lies.

The template of the vessel is a recorded function of what we are in love, never are you not this love, and as you create ego the vessel endures it’s mission.

As I now was faced with the loss of the unconditional love that I thought would always be there in my existence in the physical. My mothers voice came through during her attack as her final moments came to a few breathes of air she would take to send to me in energy. This vibration took me out of my mind and showed me through her eyes who I could be if I broke the conditions I had on myself to be the shining light of truth that the world will .

As these moments came such a vault door was being spun then opened and I could hear it opening to release me from the inside. I could see the mess I made of my existence and could see the beauty in the choices I made and the ultimate disaster it was that I had to embrace because I was still looking for ways to be ok with this.

The truth….

The truth was that I was always in pain, not just because of the things that my life situation gave me, but because I could see the pain of everyone around me and realize it was only a mirror that I was within myself. I was lost in what it was trying to show me all along. I manipulated pain to keep myself unconscious without even seeing, that this was all my own doing.

Wishing I was never born! A lie I made up when I was 5, when I got a spanking for breaking something I didn’t mean to break.

Thinking I was stupid cause when I looked at the math problem at 8 years old that I got smacked upside the head and told myself I had an empty brain.

I was allowed to cheat because my first girlfriend cheated and on me and with my parents both doing it I was now going to because it was inevitable, I was never going to have the love of someone who wouldn’t cheat!

I was a cheater because I always was able to do what I was doing to feel a glimpse of love that covered all the other lies I had inside myself because I just wasn’t good enough.

I wasn’t a boy anyone could love because even my own birth father couldn’t stay because of me, because I was always breaking things and not smart enough, I was a failure he didn’t want to see grow up and become a bigger failure! In my mind was that I was just a punishment sent here to torture my father and my mother. I knew nothing else but to be bad, run from pain and make horrible choices! Till I found the root of this way of being>>>>>>>>

 

I was unloved by myself, for myself.
RED ALERT Message: Condition Found!

That day was my true rebirth! I felt my mothers hands come from a space of no longer here and pull this out of me and had me look at it. I felt this and after writing I went back to bed. My brother came to my room about 11 a.m. and said he was going to work but would stop to check on our mother. I didn’t get up and go, I should have for the next 3 days our lives were going to go into a darkness I never imagined.

He found her… she was barely alive, but not! She left this world off a machine 3 days later!

We have such a truth to discover as we do our work. The healing to find the condition we placed on ourselves gives us every right to hurt inside and then seeking salvation outside for someone to take this away from us. Your light can give you the truth if you allow it! We never go into see where to let go of the single most powerful emotional energy we have inside that the ego uses in every case the inner child that endured it all and waited for you to go back to the truth to reset.

As I went inside this root my mother was there holding the broken me and she held out her hand and pulled me into myself to show me that even though she was gone she will never be gone. I was free of what I wasn’t no more!

Coming out of this because the space of letting go of all that was not me. The love I had now had to be the only feeling I could have to embrace me without thinking. Any thoughts needed to be removed from what that love was, and what it was trying to give me no matter how deep the pain was.

The dreams became stronger and the depth of the ocean was showing me in my dreams what I was in the truth in stillness and what everyone else was as well!

The truth needs to be revealed to you, it isn’t a cruel world just your sight of what you are and won’t be accepted for needs to be gone into.

Heal your depth in truth for it is there to set you free!

Justin T. THANK YOU FOR THIS SONG! NOW I KNOW WHY IT KEEPS FINDING ME!

Love deeply,
Clark

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Healing series 2014 May: the fear be with you!

What is fear?

fear
At some point in our lives we all experience it. Our heart beats faster; we find it hard to breathe; the muscles in our body tense; our brain seems to shut everything else out and the focus shifts to the terror that has changed us emotionally and physically. We are experiencing fear.
So why does fear exist and do we have power over it? Fear according to researchers evolved in all animal species as a defense mechanism. It is a way for the brain to change the body chemistry so that future dangerous situations will create a stimulus, serving as an early warning system. This gives us an ability to determine a course of action that will increase our chance of survival. The chemical response in some cases is so strong it can cause physical and emotional paralysis and impede us from helping ourselves! When that paralysis is not experienced, the body then faces the fight or flight response in defense.
Some fear is healthy, being afraid of bodily harm from a potential attacker for example. Some fear is destructive and damaging, like feeling we cannot be honest with our partners for fear of judgment or ridicule. When we feel fear we need to remember that it’s a call to action. Unlike other animals we are able to choose how we respond to those feelings of dread.
In 3rd grade I was bullied and picked on by bigger kids, and my instinct was to fight. Eventually I was expelled from school and my father began spanking me with a belt as punishment. This punishment taught me to fear his spanking more than the bullies’ beatings. For the rest of my youth I backed down from every altercation. I did nothing to defend myself from the beatings of my peers; allowing them to label me a coward and hopefully leave me alone. I grew up in a very tough area so I got beat a lot. Today I am 44 years old and I have no memory of the physical pain I endured from those beatings, but the pain of not defending myself, of feeling like a coward–that pain lived inside me for so long that I can still feel the shame today if I allow it. When I was 18 I no longer had to fear my father’s punishments for defending myself and I began to stand up for myself again. This did not stop me from getting bullied on occasion, but interestingly enough I don’t remember an ounce of the physical pain; all my mind can recall is the humiliation of a loss, that helpless feeling of not being able to defend myself, that fear that someone else had gotten the better of me.
As I got older I began to read self-help books and to study why I and others thought and acted the way we did. In one of the books I was reading I came across one of the most profound thoughts ever, an acronym that defined what fear really was. The acronym was False Evidence Appearing Real. When I read that it instantly spoke to me. Whether an aggressively intimidating person, an inescapable, unpleasant situation, or a dreaded decision needing to be made, the feeling in all these situations was the same: fear. I finally realized that no matter what the evidence was I was selecting the meaning of it and assuming the worst case scenario. It reminded me of when I was little and I lied to stop my dad from spanking me. The reality was that I lied out of fear; but my punishment never turned out to be as bad as I had assumed it would.
This realization gave me one of the most effective tools for change and success in my life, I understood that only I could determine what had power over me, only I could assume what the consequences where going to be, only I could determine if fear would empower me to act in my defense or paralyze and control me.
Fear is real and it can be a healthy emotion, but do yourself a favor and remember that it’s only a call to action. Your choice is Fight or flight, and sometimes flight is necessary, but too often flight is chosen as the easy way out. As a former coward I can attest that it is easier to run away than it is to stand and fight for yourself. I can say with authority that just because you successfully ran away from your fear, you have not escaped it. Often times the long term damage you will cause by not standing up for yourself, your ideals, the truth, will be very difficult to heal from, because you will know that the fear conquered you.
Today you can make the decision that fear won’t stop you from telling the truth; it won’t stop you expressing your love for someone; and it can’t prevent you from standing up for yourself. Today if you’re feeling fear answer that call to action, and let fear know you’re back in charge of your life.

 

 

J.Austin.Ward
Email: j.austin.ward@gmail.com
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Personal-Empowerment-And-Relationship-Coaching-PEAR/749287711768150

Take a listen this was powerful as Josh and Lee discuss truth and how it is with fear!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/05/05/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series

Healing Series: Two halves of a whole is a???

 

soul wholeness

A lie that shatters to hide your soul…  The search for wholeness!
I am not whole without you… I am whole when I am with you… This is how simple a lie can begin… It is how simple that a lie can break you down inside…
This way of thinking has a specific truth to tell you, yet it will escape you more than anything we get to experience as a human being. When you are empty inside and meet someone outside you, and you see them with such a feeling you translate this feeling with love.. Love in this sense is not derived in energy to allow the other person to feel it, for how could they you started out by saying I am empty, or you are saying with them you are finally whole…

To be whole because of another person is the lie.. This lie if hiding can be the truth about why any relationship you have can change from love to hate. It can show you both in an instant. Here is something to ponder.. When you look at someone you love and they are saying that they love you, how does it then turn to attack, criticize, blaming, etc… This is a very hurtful place in love. You want them to return to what they always were giving you in the whole that you feel inside, and as each time this happens, and continues to get greater and greater you can see that something somehow has caused you to feel the emptiness that was once there before. This is all egoic in nature of course and it is that what you feel by saying the other makes you whole is a huge responsibility for anyone to carry. You never see it this way for what you do see is that what was once there is now gone somehow. You hurt inside and you feel the void yet something in you says you can get it back.. and then if it continues you find that you are only seeking for more of the same in pain. This cycle of love/hate is almost unbearable for the glimpses of love from the start to become further and further apart.

It is almost as though anything you do will activate the ego in this way, you try to be even more loving, something comes and says you are not going to get it, not because of the empty place inside you but because the pain that you have is now activated again and the other who was to make you whole has seen it and started to share it with you. This becomes almost impossible to endure. For even when you make up another thought is about to enter them, or you, that says they are keeping you from wholeness in some way.

When someone says I don’t know who I am anymore, it is an act of violence on the self that says something has shifted in them making them think they are less somehow. They don’t feel the same anymore, they don’t act the same anymore, and you are now caught from what was once in whole as it was in the beginning and realize you no longer can keep enduring this, but you stay not because of the wholeness but because what has become normal behavior gives an expectation and a incompleteness that is complete in the mind of the ego. It says you are all these bad things, and that no one else will want you, and this is as whole as your going to get. It even can be based in material circumstances, emotional circumstances and it will give you what you fear, what you don’t want, what you can’t fathom. It even will activate the other person to start seeking something else. Someone to cover up the little bits of emptiness that have can be covered by anything even if it is just sex.

As I am explaining all of this, I wanted to go back to the very thing that was said in the beginning…. The lie itself that caused all of this.. I am not whole without you.. This is so far from any truth we can’t see it, we keep this lie and this way of being to keep us in cycle of love/hate where love truly isn’t present at all! How can it be? You are whole, not because I said so, but because within you, you have a living body that is sparked by something that was whole to begin with. It gave you purpose, it gives you the power to be present and all you have to do is go inside to see it yourself. It doesn’t take much after this realization. that you can be as you are already….

You are whole dear being!

Love deeply,

Clark

Out on a limb Trust! Healing series March Trust 2014

 

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Trust Out On A Limb …

 

 

How you trust and what you trust are significantly impacted by the way you can kiss someone and won’t let go!  You hold back, you hold back, from the place inside that has been hurt in love, hurt inside and no way of turning back the hands of time to remove the place inside you that expects or better still trusts that you will be hurt.

 

This is so common and so powerful it just doesn’t effect what happens to you when you are intimate, but it happens when you are able to communicate with anyone..  You will not trust telling them your truths, not trust telling them what you feel because a dismissal of what you feel is going to suffer and it makes you suffer from the suffocation of not being heard, not being understood, not being loved for whatever may come out of you.   This strikes your security and hurts you sense of self in the most violent way, your trust is compromised by your thinking and your thinking does the protection of how you suffer.  Isn’t this backwards, shouldn’t you be able to share what is going on inside you without feeling broken, without feeling a sense of self that is completely distraught.

 

So many use the term go with the flow where the flow with them is in disruption!  The thinking begins and it becomes a disconnection of the self in ways that no one ever truly sees.  This is painful as the pain body becomes awakened by the sense of silence that is placed in a box where inside you are left screaming for not being heard.  What does this have to do with Trust you may ask.  Well inside you begins the words, no one is listening, no one believes, I can say this or keep this in here, it is best to keep this hidden.   You now will have a root that your trust can never flourish because of this belief, because of the words that stay in you that says you can’t speak what you feel.  Rejection of the self is the most common form of trust that can be broken.

 

You will become molded into being a specific way because you think you can’t trust what you feel and you can’t trust that you can tell anyone what you feel.  The lies begin to become powerful inside and you will say things that will hurt others without not even seeing that you are only infected with the lies you keep inside.  As you find this form of abandonment in what trust is within you, something shifts.. Something is lost, something is silent in you and something is isolated.   You then will find a place where you can just be safe inside yourself and unless it is activated, will you activate the broken trust in you.

 

What is it to activate the broken trust in you? Let’s say you recently are broken up with someone and you got hurt because your trust was impacted, it is not uncommon to say I need time to heal where in the healing process you find fault in something you did or didn’t do and now will say something is wrong with you, you will either be single for a long time, or try and get back out there yet your sense of being able to be with someone will be less than, or more than depending on what happen to your trust in yourself to be with someone else who will not hurt you.  You even trust the story that you have experienced and it keeps you from ever truly healing.  You don’t trust your own choices, how is that healing?  You don’t trust that what you will find in someone else will be their trustworthiness to always be honest with you.  To not hurt you like you once were hurt.  Your mind is always in active in overdrive, because of what you experienced and it becomes painful to you, not because of them, but because of your sense of self that suffered with no true healing.   What is true healing? True healing is the moment you say why don’t I trust?  You go into it, you go into what says your trust is broken.  Have you experienced something like this only to find that you can’t fix what is broken because you want or need to give responsibility to someone else to fix this!  Yet no one will ever be able to get close enough to you because you have stated the core statement of why no one ever will… The statement is I was hurt by someone who betrayed me infecting my trust in them and myself.  The ultimate betrayal is not found in what was done to you, but what was done to the sense of self that says you can’t be with anyone else now because of this, or you can’t trust your own choices now because of what has happened.

 

In every moment you trust… we don’t see it this way but it is the truth. You trust that others who are driving down the same road as you have control over their own vehicle, you trust that the electric company will keep on your electricity, you trust that your internet will not go down before you reach the end of this post.

 

You see trust is activated in everything we do, yet it remains broken in connection by choices and by not seeing the impact of those choices to our core trust we have in everything.   What changes would you make if you could wake everyday and be able to go out on a limb and trust completely?

 

Would you cry in all moments because your trust was broken?  Or would at some point you trust yourself again to trust everything again not being stuck in the time machine of what was and making yourself suffer from a trust that may have been challenged?  It should never keep you from the truth of connection or the truth of what trust can give you inside yourself.

 

When you look at this under the light of how this was written here…

 

What would you do with the trust you currently have and would you change any part of it?  If so when?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

 

 

Trust in your life? Healing series March week 3 2014

When-Trust-is-BrokenWhat is trust if you don’t have it in your life? or what if it is broken?

 

As a child I always trusted in everything, as I did this it was abandoned in nature, I cried a lot, not because I was abandoned by anyone in truth, but because my thought process betrayed me and I trusted that it would.

 

No matter how deep you see into what you experience, or did experience, or what is to experience, you will lose something in yourself that doesn’t keep you planted in yourself.  You can feel the trust escape in this way.  You trust you will experience everything that is harmful to your being human..

 

Being human…. How do you trust being human when you trust in a way that is only going to give you what you ask for in trust.   You trust you will be alone, you trust that you will be enraged, you trust that you will be without, and then all of that manifest itself to give you what you asked for in the first place.

 

When you say you just want to be happy do you trust this? Do you just go into the present moment and elect in trust to be happy?  Do you feel trust is always a moment away or that it was something you had back then?  What is trust defined as?

 

As a noun it is ….. a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

 

As a verb it is….. Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.

 

Although it seems it is action, it is an energy!  How does trust become energy, really go into this here for this is the awakener that we found we didn’t even pay close enough attention to as we thought we were losing our minds.  When you lie inside you then become immersed in what that lie is not protecting, it is not protecting you or protecting those that love you.  You hurt inside because of this and you don’t trust what the truth can give you!

 

Let me give you something that I trusted inside myself.. and you tell me what choices you would have made.  I trusted that I was always going to get hurt by others, I trusted they were hearing me, but not listening.

 

Even the core of why I found myself which this inside my deep love I have for the love of my life, made statements to me, to challenge my trust to challenge, what I was feeling.  “My love is even a part of this, she said to me “Clark! You are up here!  And the rest of us are down here!”

 

This was said to me over and over as I had started to find my awakening.  It hurt, not because I thought I was higher or embracing a higher self, or lower self than what was outside me to now be awakened by interactions,  but because I was waking up rapidly and my trust was expanding inside me. The things that were said would hurt me, and I would think in ego to become quite frustrated.  Not seeing it was ego in hurt, as a defense of trust saying, I couldn’t be heard… and I trusted it completely. I trusted I would be better off keeping my awaking to myself in silence.  I tried to contain what I was going through, I tried to explain what the pain was inside of me, and as I continued on my path I realized I wasn’t doing anything with the trust in what I was experiencing an allowed myself to trust in completely.

I did realize that I couldn’t see higher or lower, all I could see was what was within… I trusted what I was experiencing in that moment as I do now.. What was in that, what is seen as higher is unattainable what is seen as lower is easier to go to, yet it gives you the outside view of the truth.  What could I trust by finding what most call the higher self.. I trusted that going inside was the truth to what this was. I trusted that the answers coming from me where the truth about this thing that most need to attain to be.

 

I didn’t need to come to a higher way of thinking, I went into A inner part of being.

 

I could see that this was there as a truth to be something more, it was the undiscovered places inside of us that we aren’t paying attention to, to trust.   I trusted in my own pain, I trusted I needed to go into the pain to see what it was,

 

I trusted in my desire to find the depth of love, only to realize it goes deeper than we can see cause we are beings of trust, who trust out, not trust in!  If you haven’t seen the connection to how you trust in yourself vs what you trust outside yourself,

 

What would you trust in you as a human being here to dive into something within you that calls to you?

 

Well Clark, how does one go to a path no one is talking about doing?

 

How much attention is paid to how you trust your heart will keep beating in this moment? How much love is that capable of to do that very thing?

 

To answer the simple question, What is trust if you don’t have it in your life? This question is false in you…

 

You trust that you can read this and you do! You trust you will get to something and you do!  You trust your heart will continue to give you unconditional love and it does, for you wouldn’t be able to read this right now and say wait a minute do I trust deeper than I think.

 

The answer is YES!

 

Your knowing knows this, and it trust it will wake you to the depth that what you say in words will not impact the unconditional love your heart will give you when you stop and pay close attention even the pain that can be felt from thinking will lessen when you focus the energy of trust that your heart is giving you in all moments.

 

Isn’t that the source of where trust derives from in the first place?

 

 

Isn’t it the source of all?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

Powerful awakening of what happens to our core when we trust inside ourselves!  Watch below!

Do you trust those that love you? Healing series March 2014

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Do you trust those that love you?

 

 

The intent of trust is something that we still make about other people not seeing that we have broken something inside that is broken inside the self.  Trust is a very powerful word that becomes instilled in us at an early age.  We trust we are not abandoned, we trust someone will protect us from pain or suffering, we trust we will be loved unconditionally.  When this doesn’t happen what does it do to our trust?

 

Well let’s list these 5 things to show you trust in action or as an energy these 5 things are random yet will give you an idea you will find that you will find other words that show up in trust that you may or may not be seeing.

 

Abandonment

Abuse

Loyalty

Communication

Addiction

 

 

Abandonment – if you experienced this as a child born into a world with the love you have inside and you become abandoned by those that are supposed to love you without conditions you will then see that everyone will abandon you, you trust it! You trust as you find love finding you getting older you will trust that it will abandon you and you make choices to be with someone who will abandon you, not because of what happened to you as a child but because of what you told yourself inside that gave you the same energy to abandon yourself and make poor choices to make sure you find abandonment as an energy even someone who normally doesn’t abandon you will be infected with this energy in trust you have for yourself and will abandon you without even seeing that they are getting this energy from something you have hidden within you.  Why not embrace this about yourself to not abandon yourself in this? Wouldn’t this be how you remove or heal this very thing?

 

 

 

Abuse – You lost trust because you were abused and you trust that you will be abused again feel the emotional truth of this and it will be a way to keep you protected, isn’t that trust? You even will find abusive relationships because the abuse brings you aliveness and you trust this as a part of your aliveness.  It is not as sick as you might think, for the thinking is saying you will be hurt, you will be emotionally distraught where in truth you are distraught even before this happens.  It is dormant for a period of time but in the back of the mind where the ego is accessing this pain and trauma, it exist within the emotional existence of a past experience you call to.  This story inside as the story teller demands this be something you are still a victim of.  Trusting in victim energy is always painful and always addictive. This story is always there for you to trust in.  It’s purpose in trust is that you are pain and that pain has to be emotionally embraced and you must trust in that pain as a way of being.  Not seeing that the trust is very deceiving and that it will only call to more of the same in energy that infected you in the first place.  There are very disturbing truths about what someone endures that will do this to others. Yet when it happens to you, it infects you and takes you over and you trust that it will and so it does.

 

 

 

Loyalty – If your loyal it is a trust factor because you see that being on someones side is always a way to receive trust in return.  Yet when this is lost with one and then another and then something else. You will hide inside and keep to yourself, you will even say you can’t trust anyone and those who shouldn’t be trusted find you highly attractive whether for a love relationship or other.  They will betray you because you emit the energy of betraying yourself from what has happened to you. We raise ourselves to break cycles… the cycle of what this trust does breaks that breaking of cycles.  In other words when you stop trusting yourself you no longer become loyal to yourself and then others who are not loyal to you or themselves will find you.  So you decide to find someone who won’t hurt you and you find someone safe who won’t do you trust they will find out why you choose them and then the trust of that trust in them will start to be questioned?  Trust you will find loyal and you will but trusting that you are not able to trust yourself will give you this for a little while and the symptoms of this will give you something else in this process.

 

 

 

 

Communication – You trust that someone will communicate with you and when you stop communication you expect them to give you the communication you stopped giving to them.  Do you trust that they will give you something you won’t give them or yourself?  Yes, you in there deep somewhere in you, you do!  It is not on purpose it is by energy in purpose the broken record of communicating the same thing over and over again which is toxic to all communication especially the communication shared on this planet.  We even use communication to attack in ways to communicate broken trust that we will be harmed in the process thus elevating this truth and it is returned. We are hurt because we trust that we will be hurt.  Do you see the energy in motion this causes us is directly embedded in how we communicate without trust.  Recently we had someone come to us about someone they met, they told them they were single because the last relationship they had they were cheated on again… they said they always seem to be cheated on.  Do you know what energy transpired from this? Do you trust that what this communication did was actually seeking this type of energy to begin with?

 

 

 

 

Addiction – When you trust that you have an addiction isn’t that only giving the addiction power. I was a sex addict, I was addicted to sex, and when I told myself that I felt an overwhelming feeling, it made it easy of saying well it is a part of me that I can trust.  And so, it made it so!  Addiction to anything is a trust behavior that allows the symptoms to be dismissed instantly. You will not easily accept what the root of those symptoms are, you trust that you have it to cope with everything. The deep truth is in the dark to you and when you feel dark it only activates the trust you put in your addiction! I know this for it was me in all the addictions I could become addicted to.  The darker you felt in the addiction the more you can trust that very thing will help you continue to feel dark.  Trust is powerful it is a dependable friend that the ego can use to make you pay for being disconnected from yourself thus being disconnected from everyone else. Making sure you can trust any lies and seldom any truth that is not being noticed!

 

 

How is your trust? Can you see it clearly?  Is it dependent upon others who will break this trust in you?  Or is this already there in you because you do trust yourself negatively or don’t trust yourself positively?

 

See how trust is being used in ego to make you completely right in what the trust will give you without seeing that it gives you what is broken within you?

 

Do you feel this in truth to trust it?

 

Who would you be if you saw trust in this way? What would you start trusting and what would you stop trusting?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

How deep is your Trust? Healing series 2014 March – Trust!

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Broken Trust?

I can’t forgive you…  I can’t be with you… I can’t do this anymore…  I can’t..  Whatever this is has a way of bringing you to a very shaky foundation in trust… We use these words in ego to signify that something in us is broke.  When you become unstable in this way of trust the choice to make the right decision always will seem as though you are teetering from what is hindering destiny from coming to you…  I can’t is the same as I won’t or the other words that follow such as i’ll try, or I am potential… the trust in all of this is on shaky ground. Isn’t it?

 

I have doubt, is also apart of trust.  When you trust something will fail!  What does it show you in the end that is the truth about what you said it would do happens…and…. FAIL will not abandon you!  Then that what you said becomes that you were right!  Is that what you are saying inside? A majority of us do!  What about when you say I have been let down by others… Is this trust as well.  Yes it is, because you are trusting that this will always be what you will receive outside you, don’t worry it does!  Trust is a very powerful energy!

 

 

I have been through trust training and I realized that I didn’t trust a thing years ago and still didn’t wake up to it..  You can tell how much you trust when you do the trust fall… You always fear that someone will not catch you, and you will hit the ground, and get hurt.  Sound like some choices you keep making in your existence here?

 

Another is the blindfold lead where someone is leading you and has to direct you with their common sense of directions..  The failure in that is that they can’t see what sinkholes are placed cause they are trying to get you through the trees… Someone who is completely aware of your path by leading this in front of you will always tell you the truth.  They will endure the path with you and not lead you astray…. Do you see how this can be difficult without trust?  Especially if they are not having you walk without them directly in front of you.  How will they ensure you won’t get hurt if they are not willing to walk the path with you?  Pay attention, the message here is deep!

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The awakened truth about trust is that you trust you have one more day to do something significant, you have one more moment to make a difference in your own being and yet we all get caught up by the same choices doing the same thing over and over again.  We find comfort in this energy of doing the same thing cause we trust it!  Having the same thoughts, we trust nothing changes so it doesn’t.

 

When I decided that I was going to live in truth I realized that I didn’t trust… I didn’t trust I would be accepted for the truth and it proved me right.  I wasn’t accepted… It wasn’t until I realized that being in my truth needed my trust just as much as I needed my love to get me through this broken trust.  The conditions of what my love gave me were without trust.  Do you see how unconditional love is?  It needs the very thing you won’t give to break you free of what you don’t give to yourself.  Telling my truth should their be conditions of who I can tell or what I can do with what I trust?  The answer was always no!  I had to trust that telling my truth was going to show that I am very truthful. I will call out to the truth and trust that the truth finds me more truth.

 

 

When I was abandoned and I abandoned others, was it related to trust.  Yes, I didn’t trust myself and in turn didn’t know in truth if I could trust others.  I didn’t know if I spoke from my pain if I would be accepted I trusted I wouldn’t!  If I could be damaged could I trust that I would be loved unconditionally? Can you?  I realize now that was just a lie that I was living inside myself that gave me the ability to walk away so easily from others.  Not wondering if they hurt by my actions, not wondering if I was indeed loving enough to let them go.

 

I let go, because I couldn’t face my own pain, but I could surely see my pain in others, whether I caused it or not.  I wanted to fix their pain and bring them into a world of imagination where no pain could harm them.  Not seeing that I trusted that I could do this, I was able to for a short while.  Then I knew that my own pain would infect them somehow, they couldn’t see the truth about my not trusting that they could feel anything remotely like what I felt inside.  Maybe it was that I was too genuine in my imagination, or that I was not standing in my truth enough for it to be genuine.  When I felt what I felt deeply, I realized that without me trusting that the right thing would come to me something else would come to me, and show me that this was just my imagination of the lie that made it possible to not tell the truth, I trusted this as my truth, that the lie was always right. Trust is intent… get it?

 

As humans we experience so much of what we hear inside that we isolate ourselves and miss the truth about trust.  Trust that you will be hurt and you will, trust that you will not be loved and you won’t.

 

Trust that you are not worthy of a deep love and yes you will get what you say in trust.  Trust that no one can hear you screaming inside and on one will.  Trust is the intent of what you want to have whether truth or a lie to find you and it does.

 

If you say you can feel another’s heart beat in your own as your truth and trust that what you feel in that heart beat inside you will find you then trust that it will completely!  No hesitation for that hesitation gives you the same in the trust you placed into it!

 

If you say you want to be in a truthful deep love relationship, trust completely that it will find you!

 

If you say you want to love yourself without conditions then trust that you will.  Without the words that I started with, it is always going to be a very confusing energy till you decide that you want the complete trust of what it is that you say you want!   Then make that the reason in being for that trust to give you what you know is in truth yours to give to yourself.

 

If you are having a hard time and want peace then trust you will find complete peace.  Any voice in you that says, “Yes but”.. Is a hole in that trust that says I am not enough yet.. where the lie is embedded is the truth waiting for it to see itself.  Say in self to the lie, “you will no longer tell lies for the heart that beats does so in a trusting manor, and that trust is something that I believe in.” Give yourself the wholeness in asking for trust to give you the truth about how you trust and it will give this to you when it is without question.

 

 

 

Love deeply….  Trust and let it find you!

 

Clark

 

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