Deep stand in connection! Are you Awake? Are you sure?


52770-The-Best-Dreams-Happen-When-You-Are-AwakeDear Clark,


Can you write anything about the consciousness shifts that may go on during what could perhaps be final reuniting phase?  what I am experiencing could be some sort of awakening symptoms, or it could be related to feeling “him” more and more IN me… when we first got together 8 years ago, it was like I entered another dimension for a year– I was having major energetic shifts in my body when I meditated at night… and my awareness softened, and the outer wold faded away….


This is sort of a “cry for help”– as something deep inside of me is telling me that the wackiness I am feeling in my physical body (like I am submerged under water), and the odd-ness I feel in my awareness, are actually some sort of final phase of surrender, or merging… AND, I KNOW you can’t tell me what is true for me, but please, if I have been at this journey for over eight years, should I be at the point in our separation where I am thriving in my life?– OR, for you, or others, has there been a point, closer to full Union, where everything feels a bit haywire in my body, and my consciousness feels pretty close to crazy if I am not focusing on the love I feel for him?


like, it’s not like I miss him, or need him, or feel sad in my heart for him like I used to… it’s mostly just this awareness of focusing my love on him, or not focusing my love on him (ie, doubting this TF connection)– AND, more and more, it seems like anytime I do spend in doubt energy i feel close to crazy/or totally blocked up in my life- like, almost like I need an occupational therapist to even get up and clean a spoon off to get my son ice cream, or make his lunch……


and, if what I am feeling has nothing to do with the Twin Flame journey- I can handle that too!:)




Almost Awake…



Dear Almost Awake….


The consciousness of not being without your twin has been titled as this is your life… this feels singular and yet it is not.. You are no more apart from your twin than you are conscious of what you can see inside of your twin.  The times spent being inside yourself is the place that you have always been with your twin.  The moment you become quiet inside and feel them you send them a vibration whether they know it or not.. the more unconscious the twin is the more they won’t however as you find this as your peace the more serene in the connection that it will awaken ones twin.


We spend our time here… looking in a mirror and have a very abstract view where we only see the outside.. we can’t see what is driving our animation or it’s place of origin that connects us to what is always going to be there through this door or by truly seeing what the inside of us is asking us to pay closer attention to.  As a conscious being.. you have a place inside you that derives energy.  We made it science and then are still baffled by what the inside of us could teach us..


When we are connected to our twin my friend… such as a beginning phase in your case it was a year..  It was that you consistently stayed in the moment.. you didn’t seek time where time was only standing still and you were creating art as it were.   You can have these moments because now you know that when you were in them you were in a state of no mind.. no mind is a very powerful awakener… It will not seek any way of thinking only the way of being.  This brings out a beautiful you that is always lurking when your thoughts have captured you and held you hostage.  As we aspire to let go.. what is in letting go… Letting go means no longer seeking yourself in time.. whether it be what was or will be.. It is what truly brought the energy of our connection to be stronger to one another.. I held it and didn’t seek her any longer I just stayed in the place where our connection was most powerful the place of no mind..  The mind needs or wants in human.. yet beyond human the connection doesn’t need or want for anything it just is… It is most beautiful in this experience for it doesn’t need a choice to do this or be that.. It blossoms a conscious state of truth that keeps you connected.


The voice in the head dwindled and it didn’t seek anything for it was now immersed in knowing… I knew without knowing that I knew…  This magical feeling deep within me kept me so peaceful and full of love I revealed in all it’s glory and all it’s passion… I felt free…


I found the place where before death and after birth consumed me.. and I surrended to it.. I realized I could give the most incredible amount of love without seeking an opposite.. No need for a return just as breathing was giving of me I was giving this of love in all things…  Euphoric was this state of being.. and when I would see or talk to her.. It vibrated in a place inside of her and me that kept calling to the connection itself.  Although when this happened there was still much for us to experience and go through in trials as for thinking it always found a backdoor and another and in when it was time for a pure communion in union we had to be washed this thinking and to see it more clearly in each other for it to finally be something we both had to love about each other… This door doesn’t open until you find that core place of being without time.  You see how the energy interrupts connection in human and can see how that interruption doesn’t effect beyond human nor how it makes it into a life situation that separates anything…


One day we all will stop thinking before we die…to die before we die… although this is becoming more and more present in moments it is very rare to find someone who doesn’t live entirely in their mind…  When it does though this will be the place where peace and connection to all the lost loves will find there true connection…



The submersion of being under the water my friend… when I would dream during my awakening I was at the place where the tree of life was and was filled with a big open field and an ocean… night after night I would go there and wait… It was not before to long that I started to become attached to going there in my slumber… Little did I realize how much I was being given messages from being….  It wasn’t until I dreamed I was in the middle of the ocean did I start to feel I was just going to drown…  I went to the bottom of the ocean my friend… as I did I was shown a life review of how I interacted with everything… As I would go deeper and deeper… I could feel the tree of life and it’s roots of what was being shown to me in energy… how the water of the ocean was growing the tree… and how the stillness of what was deep in the center when I finally got there I felt pure life that was lifeless… I was home… I remember that night I didn’t wake for almost 14 hours yes prior to the dream I cried for what seemed like days… I knew something greater was trying to show me something.. when I woke I was no longer hearing what I had to do that day or what I needed to do or wanted to do… It left me as though I was completely left to drown in the need and wants and they were removed… I felt the vibrations in my heart that I could hear her even laughing, talking to herself in her head.. I could feel everything… I did rebirth in my rebirth.  You see I was holding everything inside my friend… I had lost her inside my head which is exactly what I had to do to never lose her again… We make up a make up of what we think someone is… this was a false sense of self I needed to let go of on top of all the lies I told myself for all the reasons my mind told me I had to keep inside.  It was there that I found my root.. all of the root.. as pure as it was.. it was still an infant.. so I began again… with death inside of me I found the peace and calmness that death brought me by not seeking myself in a thought process any longer.


Yes I had hurt her to a point that by all rights we in human would never be together… but the truth was that I told the truth and let the cards fall where they were.  This was very powerful and immeasurable in pain.. but that pain was always chasing me it was my thoughts that created the suffering to have some pain now and save some for later… so I was always hurting myself with my own lies.. we all do this as a way to get past something whether it be a great pain that we experienced from our parents as we grew into the world or how we interpreted something and started rebelling never seeing that we created an energy that was based on what was always outside of us…  I wish there was magic that could take away this cause and effect for if we could truly see this without thinking it away and embrace it we would all endure the great pain that truly wakes you to your truth.


If I would have not found that place my friend… every action that I have experienced since this would have made me unconscious again.. but when you are in the deep of the now in connection to your twin you can see the energy they are trapped within and only through the pure compassion that you possess can you keep this energy in you to infect them…   I am not sure if any of this made sense to you… but if you dig deep you will find that there is a truth to the truth that you are never not connected only the mind makes it this way because of what we haven’t seen in a human mind to experience the connection in truth that the voice in the head is going to tell you why it’s not….



The voice in the head is what needs removed here… Your breaking through it won’t matter where you go, You do however continue to go inside to find what you think will make you sane for sane is what the mind is saying you need… Yet it is only more food for the mind and not the connection…. Stay in the moment for that is where you are basking in the glow of the break through.. whether it is with your twin in physical or not.. This one thing brings you through first in connection!  Without it… You will need to lose your mind to find yourself!


Love deeply for that is where you are Awake!



Lois and Clark What am I missing???


We had a Question posted to us about our 10 month Series, as we wind down our first month.


Dear Lois and Clark:


I am Following your 10 month series, and have been reading your posts on Abandonment and Listening to the Radio shows, and am really looking forward to next months topic on pain and Junes Topic on Unconditional Love, I have seen the flyer and understand you offer a paid version, so what am I missing just looking from the outside in and following the “public” series.






Wow, Randall, what a great Question! and one we really have not answered until Now!

During our 10 month Series we are posting in our Public Forums, and Social Networks some of our Series Information! However for our Series Members we offer quite a bit more information and fun!!


We have a PRIVATE group our members are a part of and we have Very Enlightening and Active Discussion 24 hours a day!  Our Members also are a part of our Monthly Workshops, where they are given personal projects to do,homework if you will  lol  We gather in the private forum to discuss these projects, often times very eye opening! We play “games” we get to know each other and get personal (only if you like) and sometimes we tend to go over allotted time because there is someone experiencing a “breakthrough” all the while with plenty of support from their fellow members as well as Lois and Clark!


We also have 2 live Webinars a month, where we gather and discuss the topics at hand and our personal stories and journeys and struggles.  We guide and have fun and laugh as we teach the tools to break the cycles we find ourselves in! Breakthroughs in webinars are powerful as it is video and we get to see all of our members face to face and they get to see us!!!  Often times we are laughing as a group and crying as a group, its freeing and cleansing and healing!


Our members also get 4 personal telephone sessions with us! and wow we have found those incredibly healing!


Our members also get a Personal Skype or FaceTime visit with us one on one, Fun and amazingly healing as we go deep inside and get real personal!



Also Randal at the end of every month as our members complete their series they receive by mail a certificate of Completion from Relationship Reinvented for each month completed! and at the end of the Series they will receive a very special Award of Completion of the Entire Series!

and the Healing is the best part, imagine diving into each one of these topics, going deep within and Healing the cycles within ! It is a Healing Series!!!  I hope this helped! and we are here if you have any more questions!!


Lois and Clark (and I forget the Big Bonus,,,, meeting Lois and Clark 🙂  lol)



Healing series!



Factors of abandonment….

Khloe Kardashian, Lamar OdomThe factors of abandonment in my life…


As a human we are conditioned to be conditional by the things we encounter in this world.  Not on purpose as this happens to us.


Being birthed into this world we venture through the existence of thoughts.  These thoughts very powerful have the momentum to make us not see the love we are all the time.  Our consciousness knows this, yet our thinking mind would have us seeing this different.


When you come to a thought that seems paradoxical, to this you see the thought without seeing the choices of the thought. It has more than one dimension of what you are saying inside yourself.  You can feel left out of something, you can feel rejected by something ultimately these have a way of allowing the energy that factors what abandonment can do to you.


As a continuous life you have been born into the state of your thinking, which will cause your curbed understanding of how you will seek ways of being in this existence.  Then abandonment instilled in beliefs that you will do to yourself.  This only becomes present when you are abandoned outside of yourself!  The very first time this happens you seek a way to understand and instead of seeking the answers as to why either by not understanding the communication or by reversing the thoughts and make this about yourself, this feeling consumes you!  You will override it with a lie you place inside yourself.  When this happens the labeling of the content of the mind finds a place inside you to state.. I am alone, I am lonely, and I am not worthy of love.  This is the same as not seeing inside the place deep within yourself but rather seeing you create a defense inside to a core.  Is this a factor you have experienced?



The truth is… You are always able to let go of material as you aren’t made up of this.. as you seek yourself in the material it won’t make you happy, the happy finds you in connection to yourself to give yourself the ability to make you happy. The thinking is the disease that happens in the mind to keep you from that happiness, it becomes your story.. and the story is always going to have its ups and downs where you as the hero are the reason the story will have an happy ending. Don’t let the thoughts be your guide for they will give you the content to be unhappy.. NO longer see this as a need or want to be unhappy… rather see the thoughts as the place to not seek yourself. Witness your thoughts about what makes you happy and unhappy gives you a great ability to be the hero of the story. Why not go this path to show you the truth?


This is the great ability you have to no longer abandon yourself… is this not a fact?



These factors are factors that turn into conditions…  Can you name some conditions that you have been placed in within your existence?


What does you thinking tell you?

What does your consciousness tell you?


Love deeply,




Live! Internet Radio Show with Relationship Reinvented and Special Guest Eileen Bild! Topic: Abandonment and the factors of it in our Lives!

Listen Live and even join the conversation with your Questions and comments!!! And Chat Live with us in an open chat room as we do the show!!

Call In With your Comments and Questions  (619) 924-9837

Healing series!

Intimate Abandonment !


The other day I was listening to a commercial and the commercial was about female Hormone Replacement Therapy, the commercial had women giving testimony on how the therapy was working for them. One woman in particular stated, “My husband is so happy, my sex drive is back and I cant keep my hands off of him”!  Me having some marketing classes under my belt, I thought wow that was genius. How many husbands are going to be wanting their wives to get this therapy” ? This commercial was geared toward men and not their wives.

I began to look at my own life and wonder if I  was just the exception, I dont need hormone replacement therapy, my hormones are always in overdrive, I began to look back at some of my former writing which surprisingly still all remain true, I found this.

“ I dream of Love Making so hot , so raw it has no boundaries, I dream of an undeniable touch,  a look an energy that is so strong there is no question what is about to happen, there is no human emotion or walls built up, there is no assumption about what he is feeling, I know without doubt he is wanting the very same thing.”

Human beings seem to somehow put a bridle on passion, we no longer are spontaneous or free with our passion towards our partner, for example all day yesterday I just wanted him, I needed him, I looked at him all day, lusted after him even in the oddest places and times, When he was driving, when he was working, when he was sleeping, when he was eating dinner, I watched him and I wanted him. But I did not act on it at all.

With children in the house sometimes unfortunately some things need to be discretionary , thats understandable, however passionate kissing and sneaking off into another room for a quick make out session, or a grab in the kitchen, or a touch or a look or few words whispered in an ear, that is passion that will lead up to quite an experience, why do humans put love making in a time frame? Mine has none, however I have found myself conformed to human standards and find myself more and more frustrated with those standards.  Why do I do these things, Why do human beings schedule times for Love making? Making Love should be held in the bedroom at bedtime, What??  Who came up with this? Why cant we be passionate all day every day, why cant we make love to one another all day everyday even if the actual act of love making has to wait until a more appropriate time, I feel passion all day, I wish for nothing more but to stay in that energy and stay in it with him. I have no desire to find excitable passion and hot sex, or passion with someone else I want it with him always.

I found this in an e mail sent to us last month from a woman in Illinois:

I find myself in some type of cycle, a cycle of waiting to see what he wants, waiting to see if he’s to tired and just wants to go to sleep, or if he’s not feeling well, and i should just let him rest, I even have found myself really wanting to touch him in the morning and holding back because “he probably” needs to go to the restroom and I dont want him to be uncomfortable, I do that more often than not and then find myself frustrated and eventually without his knowledge of the real issue I have an attitude as if its HIS fault.

I am stuck in a human world of waiting for him to make a move when I have so much sexual energy inside of me I feel as if I could burst, last night I just wanted to unleash it, and he came to bed and our oldest son was not home yet, and he left the bedroom door open to make sure we heard him come in, after about 30 mins he did, the door was shut and we made love and it was amazing, however I found that I was already in the “mindset”  that he was not “wanting me” and well “the mood” was not there, I had to clear my energy before I could begin to enjoy myself.

Its funny how the saying the mind is a very sexual organ, It is very much true, I love sex, I love to make love, I love passion even more and I seek a life full of it with him. I find that my mind most times gets in the way, assuming what he wants or dont want. Aching for him so often and finding myself so frustrated because that is not fulfilled inside of me, wanting to touch him, longing to feel him kiss me like he wants me and no one else, touching me like he cant wait until the time comes where he’s so excited he has no choice but to find somewhere to release at least a little energy. Uninhibited passion. An Energy everyone around us experiences. 

I was abused at a young age,I was told I was not worthy of someones love and would only be “Used” because that is what I deserved, for many years I allowed my mind to repeat those words and I continued the abuse on myself, I awakened and I realized who I really am. Does he see this? Does he know I am always looking at him? Does he know of this passion inside of me? Have I abandoned myself and my desires and my dreams?  Have I just allowed everyday human life and human scheduling to mold me?  Have I abandoned my sexuality, Have I abandoned my Passion? Have I abandoned who I really am? I no longer want to do this to myself, I no longer want to keep this boxed up inside of me, I no longer want boundaries, I no longer want schedules, I no longer want this cycle. How can I break free if he is stuck in his mind?

Its been 8 years since I met him, its been a rough 8 years, we have been through hell and back numerous times, however I still look at him like I did the very first time I saw him, I still lust for him always, I still long for him all day everyday! I still see his soul through his eyes, I still watch him walk, I still sniff his t shirts when he’s not around just to smell him, I still watch him sleep, I still want to care for him and make sure he’s ok, I still and always will love him unconditionally, I want him and only him. He’s amazing, he’s kind and loving and loyal and  he’s helpful and generous. He cares for our family and he provides for us, So what more could I possibly want? I just want him to pin me up against a wall, I want  him to hold me down, I want him to tell me in my ear he wants me,I want him to come to bed with no under ware on, I want him to sneak me off into the bedroom and kiss me passionately and let me know later when everyone leaves what is going to happen, I want him to keep me in suspense, I want him to want me as much as I want him. 

If he does how would I know? 

I would make him so damn happy he would be on an all time high!

Maybe he just doesn’t want me? I dont mean just sexually I mean Passionately, give me a reason to dress up, give me a reason to be naughty, give me permission to show you who I am! 

maybe he just dont want me like that, maybe he just dont see me like that, a life of  constant passion?

Why does my mind want to continue to tell me reason after reason why he shouldn’t, or why he don’t.

 What would happen if I just let all of my guards down, If I unleashed all of this passion and desire? To be accepted for it would be bliss, to be rejected for it at any time would be detrimental, and if he’s waiting for me to show him, why would he not help me by simply breaking some of his walls and showing me, its as if there is an unspoken elephant in the room that keeps saying, “wait for her to make a move”. 

He should be able to see I am scared and he should be able to feel my energy. Why is it so hard for him to just be the aggressor and except that all the while knowing I am wanting him at all times there is no bad time! If he made an effort to help me unleash this passion would he not feel the energy more strongly?

Do you feel her husband knows this information and is just rejecting her? Has she told him she simply needs him to be the “aggressor.” Does he feel unwanted because she is rarely the aggressor? If she’s responding to his advances EVERYTIME without ever rejecting him should that not tell him he’s wanted always? Or does he feel she’s just not that sexual?

Is there really this bad “stigma” that women dont enjoy sex, and men are pigs and that is all they think about, In this instance did this man assume his wife was not interested in him and he stepped out of the marriage to  “feel wanted”? That Stigma still rings odd to me because that seems to always be on my mind and I’m female. We can be at the grocery store looking at produce and I get a sniff of his cologne or I look at how his jeans fit and I get turned on, I find myself even when I am sick with a stuffed up nose wanting to be intimate with him. All he has to do is give me that look, or touch me, there is NO rejection, Never, he can wake me up out of a dead sleep and I would be ecstatic, I could be passing a kidney stone in severe pain and still welcome his advances. It dont matter if I have a severe “Headache” if he wanted to make love I know it would help my headache.

Why do humans make this so difficult? Why does the mind tell you if your not getting it at home, you can get it somewhere else, why is the excitement of an affair often the reason they continue. Why are we finding reasons to NOT find this excitement with our partners, the ones we share our lives with, the ones we love. Why is the answer always abandonment, abandon the commitment, abandon the relationship, abandon the communication, abandoning ourselves. and our desires and our dreams? Imagine if we all unleashed all of our passion on our partners, Imagine the marriages that would be healed, the relationships that would flourish, Why would you need to abandon your commitment, if you were fulfilled at home with your partner, Does it not start with You? What is it you are Abandoning? Your partners needs/desires? Are you abandoning your communication? Are you Abandoning YOUR desires?  Looking into ourselves are finally figuring out what it is we are abandoning and why it would cure a world of assumption and “mind noise”.  How could it not?

Love and light


My dear Past,


I am writing you this letter so you can keep it close to you to understand why I am leaving you, you have given me second guesses, you have made life with others tolerable, and you have always given me the perfect reason to hide myself from others who didn’t deserve it!

I wanted to also inform you that because I will not be with you any longer I am going to accept the present moment more fully as my committed partner for existence here.  You always didn’t like the present moment and I get it, the present moment is a very sexy thing to try and compete with.  I know this will be hard for you and I hope that some day you will understand that it wasn’t you! IT WAS ME!

I just couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be repeatedly. It made me hard to understand, it gave me excuses to have pain that I would inflict on others. I just didn’t feel that was right of you to do that!  I had many affairs on you, I would sneak and meet someone and not hold their past against them and they wouldn’t hold my past against me (hell there were times you told me it was ok to keep it from others).  Then somehow, someway you would convince me to sleep with you again.  That wasn’t right. I did eventually leave them for you. Cause you were just to intoxicating for me to remove from myself.  I do want you to know I have released you from any alimony or child support. In other words you no longer have to pay for trips back down memory lane that will make me make a decision to endure your kind of pain. Cause my future will remain unknown to me.  Me and the present moment have spoken to this in great lengths. It is again not about you… IT IS ABOUT ME. I just realized it!  The present moment also said that I could not have any affairs with a little part of you or the future. So I know that this was a trying message to read.  But I thought I would leave a few things for you to realize going forward in the terms of the restraining order.

1) You are not allowed to come into my life to try and tell me what is going to happen, you must remain more than a mile away from me at all times.

2) Any lie you hear me tell myself about love, you are not allowed to come in and give it validity.

3) Anger, resentment, punishment, are mine to take in that moment as I take it, it will not build!  You have a restraining order PAY ATTENTION TO NUMBER 1 RULE!

4) You under no condition will try and tell me what love is or what it isn’t!  Your the past you can’t possible know what love is in this moment. Hence why I am leaving you for THE PRESENT MOMENT!

5) Don’t try to surface telling me I will be more protective and guarded of myself and my experiences that are in the present moment with you around. You aren’t psychic so stop claiming to be you have a catalog of history be a history teacher not a present moment connoisseur. I am not going to believe it to repeat it!


7) I believe I can fly without you, in other words you clipped my wings for long enough with your ability to tell me who I was with repeated memories of pain and more pain. My wings got weighted down with tar thanks to you.  NO MORE!

8) You are not allowed to use my mind against me. You can not find a way in manipulating things that i currently doing trying to show me all the different scenarios of what is to come based on results that were in the past.  Again this isn’t about you! It’s about ME!

9) You are not allowed to find a pathway into dreams, into day or night or other. It isn’t that I don’t love you completely I do in fact hence why I am letting you go completely.

10) Don’t take my love for granted, it will grow now because of your absence. It will realize there never had to be a limit and it will heal in your absorption of love I have inside me to make me the man she needs and wants. The present moment sends love your way, that you will find peace.

These are the guidelines for this divorce and I know you will have no choice to but to abide my wishes as it would show me how much you don’t love me by breaking these rules!

Wishing you luck finding another to pursue this with,

Clark Kent Esq.

To abandon the self…. Abandonment series is coming Jan 2014





The struggle of what comes to us when we are thinking we are not worthy, we are not enough, we are not being heard comes from a place inside that isn’t about the other person, events or what is actually our view point at the time but rather what we are not listening to inside of ourselves, We’d rather make this about the ignoring of what we are doing to what is inside that is being said that we become almost irritated, irate or feel betrayal of abandonment by the events, people or the silence we aren’t listening to as a  form of communication with this information lodged within!  We elect this as a way of thinking not truly even seeing we are emitting the energy of bringing more of what is going on outside of us rather that was is going inside of us.  The more the vibration of what we find irritates us inside resonates from what we are doing inside of us.


Here it is…  Let me give a scenario in which this becomes the truth and you make everything else a lie.   Gosh I need a break, I need to meditate more, I wish I could do this for myself.  As this energy is placed on a back burner, we don’t see the energy of making ourselves secondary and then when we don’t get it from ourselves we end up blowing up at those that do the same, not because we see us doing it to ourselves but because we don’t see the energy we created for those close to us to do the same that we already do to ourselves.  This false sense of being is the lie, the truth is we again found a way to make what we give ourselves secondary to ourselves and then become enraged, sad, alone, because we don’t do so for ourselves thus the energy polarity will never be as strong as to what we say we give to everyone else in priority. (This gives new meaning to how deep you can give to another does it not?)


We are the root of the energy that surrounds us, to change this you have to dive into your own energy and give yourself this first.  This is what is meant by you can’t give someone what you don’t give yourself.  Do you see the dysfunction in what you seek outside you, is never going to be the energy that will elude you, not because you see this as it is happening as a cycle, but because you created the energy to give abandonment energy to yourself making others see this same energy without their knowing to give you more of the same of what you do to yourself.


Your true joy in radiant being is found in what you give to yourself and what you can share after doing so with another.  This energy is fully present in all things it’s not seen as this way of translating but can you imagine if it was?


Love this about you, as this is where the food for the ego becomes dangerous. It has this about what you are doing to yourself, and now will give you permission to have self pity, where self pity is the over lying blanket to the truth of what this really is.  Love is what you are in this moment and love in this moment is what can embrace you through this to give you this truth of love you are inside of any and all streams of energy you create without knowing!   In knowing you are more beyond this, it is the energy itself that has no sense of self your knowing is that self!


Here is one more example,  when asked when was the last time you placed your hand over your heart to sync with yourself and give yourself the attention in love you can give yourself, and you say I keep meaning to, isn’t this the same thing you are complaining about that others won’t give you?  Do you see the writing on the wall as it pertains to energy?  You give the silent permission to make yourself secondary not seeing that the energy is silent and still will be something others will hear and do to you as you do to yourself, even if you don’t think they can!


Do you feel what is left here in what has been shared?  Do you see how this when truly felt in what it is can give a love greater in knowing then thinking.  Just be my friend!


Love Deeply not just to those who surround you but to yourself which will be a much greater love that they will experience from you!

With Love,

Lois and Clark




Make 2014 Your year for Healing!!!

Healing series!

Blame it on the alcohol?

middle-aged-couple-drinking-wine-on-dateDear Lois and Clark,

Where I am now… confused, uncomfortable, and anxious.

LONG story short, my Parents were deeply wounded as children, and wounded me in-turn. I started in my own personal knowledge journey 8 years ago, and discovered I liked who I am. I realized I couldn’t change anyone other than me and set out to make my life the best I could without requiring anything of my family of origin to change.

4 years ago, I became aware that, by accepting the role I was born into with my family of origin, I was recreating their dysfunctional patterns for myself in my own life and set out to change them. I am understanding only now, that I had suppressed and disowned feelings and parts of myself that were “unacceptable” during my initial change work 8 years ago, and the “self” I had constructed then, while much closer to my authentic self than the one imposed upon me during my upbringing, remains false.

1 year ago, I stumbled upon the family secret about my Grandfather’s (25 years dead) alcoholism. I’ve been attending Al-anon regularly for the past 5 months to understand how my Mother’s living with alcoholism and never coping with or healing the effects, puts me in the position of requiring they be healed now. Finally, in Al-anon, I’ve found people who come from similarly dysfunctional families, and the environment in which healing is possible. I’m deeply grateful for the gift of Al-anon and working the steps currently.

My calling has also been blessedly revealed to me, and I am deeply enjoying my work as a Relationship Coach presently. Unfortunately, as I was hesitant to  accept the position and responsibility for so long, my finances became a disaster and I was left with no choice but to return to my Parents’ home, where I am now.

Again, grateful to be here, because it gives me the opportunity to learn how to detach from our co-dependence (which until Al-anon, I had never understood was the actual problem). However, living in their chaos is painful. 4 years of scraping by to survive financially, and all the mixed messages and suppressed emotions that are being revealed now leaves me DEEPLY CONFUSED. While I wouldn’t change a thing, I’m seriously tired and depleted from battling against scarcity, and unlearning my defenses that I’ve been using for 8 years against the defenses I had to develop as a child is confusing. I haven’t known what is real since I was about 2.

I would very much love your guidance now, as I feel strongly that YOU are the first person I’ve attracted into my life who is capable of providing for me the type of consistency, wisdom and mirroring I provide to my clients. My current working theory (please correct me if you disagree) is that I am where I am at this time because, being codependency tied to my family until now, my (inherited) distorted reality has produced negative attraction in my life. I have begun to reverse that polarity… however your assistance is appreciated and welcome as I continue getting the old dysfunctional thinking, behavior, emotional, and physical habits out of my system.

What do you think?



My friend,

That is some very enlightening discoveries you have found.  As for where you are at this moment it would be that a great void of suffering and illusion need to be called to the root.  Lets make this about energy and your interaction as an energy.  As WE both have found our truth it was about the things we endured to include the acts of alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse.  The choice that we were able to find was the core.  Here is what it came down to, as you inherit anything, you have a choice to keep it or give it all away.  In other words as you are in energy in this moment do you move away from the energy of go into it?  As you elect to go away from it, you now will start to direct a role to play to be something that gives you an identity as it were as a product of the energy you endured.  Running away, you can be in a thriving career or be in a long term relationship, all of which will still bring you back to what you moved away from why does this happen?  Because the root is still intact and not dived deeper into only the consequences of what the root caused.   The root is why did someone decide to choose alcohol? why did they choose to use drugs?  Why did they choose to be physically abusive?  Why do they choose to abuse someone emotionally.  This is the shaking off reaction that we see that all beings of energy have.


The only being of energy that holds this energy and doesn’t shake it off instantly is the human being.  The human being is a funnel of collective energy that will endure the experience of what was done and will vibrationally ring inside the being not showing them how to ring this out as you would see a dog do to remove surplus energy of a swan or any other being that has been disrupted by energy.

The remembering of what it was when you experienced real at the age of 2 will tell you this.  You fell down and scrapped your knee you didn’t make an identity of the pain until you were taught.  The two year old you, scraped the knee and got up and screamed or cried and then it became as you got older and fell questions were asked of you that created the identity to no longer get up and shake it off now it was bottle necked inside you to be something else because of the pain that was endured.  How do you remove such a thing?  You do so with going to the root of the pain and no longer seeking reasons.


So your grandfather was an alcoholic? what pain was he covering up? what was he not communicating that he wanted to be numb through?  Did it have anything to do with you? Did it have anything to do with his children?  Was his drinking nature something that his mother and father did that they were covering this up as well?  Even going back shaking this off of them, will not change the path of what you can shake off and embrace now inside yourself.  Embracing what you are as a being of truth in the light.


Example of this: Lois as a child would sit at age 9 and wait for her father to come pick her up along with her sister who was younger than her on Fridays.  Her father wouldn’t show up, as he was at a bar drinking and hanging with friends.  He would become completely drunk not realizing that his kids were waiting for him.  As they would finally get around their father they would smell the alcohol.  He loved his kids very much and his drinking wasn’t about them, but it was that they experienced the energy in abandonment because of what his root was which caused him to drink.  As they became older they were attracted to men who did these types of behaviors not even seeing it as a cycle of energy but rather a familiar stream of energy that was consumed in the root with these as the symptoms.  The fear of abandonment as they found abandonment needed to be hidden as to not know the reason why in relationships a man wouldn’t stay around or would become illusive they needed to experience the non communication as a familiar energy to experience what they felt could be unconditional love which was very much conditional.  Conditions are met in this way!  Do you see the dysfunction?  Do you see how just these moments caused the truth from eluding even the children who didn’t even know the root of why these things happened?  They didn’t because a part of them which wasn’t aware of the root, became the role that they experienced in the hidden truth of the energy they were all infected within.


The elections of codependency,  Is that the dependency is not the truth, the root or truth of the dependency can only be pointed to by the familiar energy you experience because of the root.  As a negative energy that has pain, what is the pain specifically? what are the dysfunctions of the energy as it relates to what outcomes happen?  Are you able to see the conditions, and embrace them unconditionally with or without reason?  This will point to the conditions you have on yourself, because of how you interact in those conditions as they arise.


All behaviors in energy that you produce have a cause and effect.  Mainly these are translated into thoughts that repeat and cause your behavior to exert the energy in cycle, which is embedded in thinking which to realize that knowing is how the cycle can be broken and healed.  Example: I am successful because I am a confident person in SOME WAYS…  This is a lie!   The truth is you are successful regardless of what you think, as your body is producing aliveness in being which is everything, it is in interaction to all energy whether it is positive or negative. No matter the negative or positive the choice to see the light is to see the truth in it and embrace it as a truth.


This is done in truth… as you are pointed to the truth without the distorted thinking that goes with it the forgiveness can be how the truth is embraced.



Love Deeply,

Lois & Clark

I’m only human.. born to make mistakes…

eckhart-tolle-universeSo I guess my question is about what is the best way to maintain the faith that such a re-union can and will happen? I understand that it is critical to maintain discipline over the mind (challenging) and stay surrendered in the heart, ever seeking to stay in contact to the best of ones abilities with Source, but any suggestions or tips on how you or Lois did it, would be great.

I am very appreciative of the opportunity to exchange information with a legitimate couple who have experience. Thank you so much once again,

Dear Zeyven,

The truth about what keeps a twin flame union from happening is the thoughts that go along with it. As it becomes a challenge to be with your twin the variables of what we have been taught about connection is disrupted in thought.  As Lois and I found that when we were together without thought it seemed to be the most magical experience that we ever experience.  It is there that I can point to as a place of no time and no mind.  When not together the self that was left started to fall back into old thinking patterns, blaming, attacking, manipulation and other ways that we experience things as a vibrational energy on top of the true vibrational energy we experienced without time and the mind.

What it is to look at each other face to face and see each others eyes and feel them speak to you is where this connection enters you. The mirror of what this does to you as a soul coming to the surface takes away all form and brings you directly into the formless.  When these things started happening to us from one break up to another, from one destructive cycle of doing something to another it became more self aware that it wasn’t what we saw into each other it was more about what the other could see into themselves.  For me I could see that I was living lies in everything I was doing. I was calculating everything from a typical male interactive content of the world. It was that I was looking for the ultimate connection.  I never realized that there was a such thing, maybe a soul mate but never anything beyond it because the content of what I knew didn’t have room for the belief of twin flames or what twin flames were.

During these painful moments experienced the suffering of what I truly felt became more of what I was screaming about on the inside.  The suffering was that I wasn’t going to have the connection that went beyond itself.  I was grieving for a past that I couldn’t change and a future that was always going to be more lies that it was the truth.  The connection was very direct it didn’t care what I was thinking or what I was suffering through it stayed consistent.  Yet why was it so painful to connect?  This is what became more and more present to me, as I started to share with my twin everything I am, the pain would be greater then lessen somehow, not because I was in fear of it or suffering because of it, but because somehow someway because of the connection we shared she wasn’t easily able to release from me in the connection from her mind.  Her mind was always telling her to be with me was a bad idea, it was always telling her I would hurt her, and the same as my own mind was that I wouldn’t be able to remove the lies completely.  As this became more of the cycle of things to come the more pain that we needed to experience to remove what was false in us in the first place.

We would fight in dreams and in waking moments. I once dreamed we fought in my slumber I woke up and had a black eye it was because she found out a lie, when I spoke to her that day I said thanks for the black eye and she said directly to me (We were not physically together), if you didn’t lie to me I would have never had to punch you in the eye.  Do you see this correctly?  The connection is in all forms it is embedded in the soul directly.  The soul which doesn’t have a thought process, doesn’t have a lie inside of it. It started to grow to the place where it always could do so inside of us to allow it a voice all to its own.  This connection of twins has a truth. This truth is how you are connected to yourself.  Those that can’t be together see the other as the direct issues or reason they are not together and this is the lie that keeps the other from you.  The following content of truth is not to be found anywhere.  Everyone makes this connection about the divine which is a partial truth but not the complete truth. What you don’t accept about your twin you don’t accept about yourself.  If your twin is a compulsive liar and you are not with them for this reason start to look inside yourself and admit your lies and accept them.  Then point them to your truth. If you don’t do this aren’t you ignoring the truth and creating a new lie to follow upon.

This connection is a mirror.. In the mirror if you look in it and the mirror is reflecting something odd such as you are looking into it and yet you are seeing your back and not your face or your front features then you are turning your back on yourself in which case this energy is what you send out.

With each truth we both started to share with each other over the 8 years trying to be together the truth was the most painful birthing of what we did that brought us together.  The pain experienced in both are hearts was always there and always gave the thought pattern of what it would be like to just keep running from ourselves which made it easier to walk away from each other.  Yet over the experience when the truth was out it was out.  The acceptance that happened with each other created a pull to each other of what this was.  It took the conditions and place truth inside of those conditions and gave us the unconditional truth that was embedded in the love.

When this becomes the path when the pain is embraced it can bring a truth of a greater love of what you are inside yourself.  When these things happened it released us somehow from the thought patterns the lies we had gave us.  The depth of what happens when you no longer have mind noise of the lies of what happens in the world outside you now opens the door to the truth of the universe inside you.

Everyday that we spent apart there was this blame that we could give to each other and ignore what we did to get that way.  The more honest we became during those times with each other as friends opened the door for the truth and opened the communication of what each others mind would say.

You have communication as a means to communicate but how easy can you share what you think with anyone to include your twin.  If you struggle saying what you feel to your parents for example realize that you have conversations with yourself to justify a mental position or a understanding of what the outside world is trying to tell you.  This is false. How could any conversation in this way ever be the truth?

This is a small glimpse that I can share with you for the day to day or moment to moment that you are enduring has a path all to its own.  This is just merely a way to allow you to see the mirror your twin gives you and you give to your twin.  There isn’t a thought that I need to hold back from my Lois for to do so is giving room to a lie that will find existence all to it’s own.


Could your twin endure every thought you would say?  Could your twin handle your truth?

Read those again!


Now realize you are having the conversations without them, and that you are stating what you think they might say, and this is why you aren’t with them not because the acceptance of these things but what these things say to you about yourself! How do you let go and jump without a parachute?  This is what the mind does in every minute it creates a parachute, when in truth you don’t need the parachute cause gravity is only physical, your true essence doesn’t know what gravity is. It is always flying and has no concept of time or the mind.

Love Deeply,