Live! Internet Radio Show with Relationship Reinvented and Special Guest Eileen Bild! Topic: Abandonment and the factors of it in our Lives!

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Intimate Abandonment !

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The other day I was listening to a commercial and the commercial was about female Hormone Replacement Therapy, the commercial had women giving testimony on how the therapy was working for them. One woman in particular stated, “My husband is so happy, my sex drive is back and I cant keep my hands off of him”!  Me having some marketing classes under my belt, I thought wow that was genius. How many husbands are going to be wanting their wives to get this therapy” ? This commercial was geared toward men and not their wives.

I began to look at my own life and wonder if I  was just the exception, I dont need hormone replacement therapy, my hormones are always in overdrive, I began to look back at some of my former writing which surprisingly still all remain true, I found this.

“ I dream of Love Making so hot , so raw it has no boundaries, I dream of an undeniable touch,  a look an energy that is so strong there is no question what is about to happen, there is no human emotion or walls built up, there is no assumption about what he is feeling, I know without doubt he is wanting the very same thing.”

Human beings seem to somehow put a bridle on passion, we no longer are spontaneous or free with our passion towards our partner, for example all day yesterday I just wanted him, I needed him, I looked at him all day, lusted after him even in the oddest places and times, When he was driving, when he was working, when he was sleeping, when he was eating dinner, I watched him and I wanted him. But I did not act on it at all.

With children in the house sometimes unfortunately some things need to be discretionary , thats understandable, however passionate kissing and sneaking off into another room for a quick make out session, or a grab in the kitchen, or a touch or a look or few words whispered in an ear, that is passion that will lead up to quite an experience, why do humans put love making in a time frame? Mine has none, however I have found myself conformed to human standards and find myself more and more frustrated with those standards.  Why do I do these things, Why do human beings schedule times for Love making? Making Love should be held in the bedroom at bedtime, What??  Who came up with this? Why cant we be passionate all day every day, why cant we make love to one another all day everyday even if the actual act of love making has to wait until a more appropriate time, I feel passion all day, I wish for nothing more but to stay in that energy and stay in it with him. I have no desire to find excitable passion and hot sex, or passion with someone else I want it with him always.

I found this in an e mail sent to us last month from a woman in Illinois:

I find myself in some type of cycle, a cycle of waiting to see what he wants, waiting to see if he’s to tired and just wants to go to sleep, or if he’s not feeling well, and i should just let him rest, I even have found myself really wanting to touch him in the morning and holding back because “he probably” needs to go to the restroom and I dont want him to be uncomfortable, I do that more often than not and then find myself frustrated and eventually without his knowledge of the real issue I have an attitude as if its HIS fault.

I am stuck in a human world of waiting for him to make a move when I have so much sexual energy inside of me I feel as if I could burst, last night I just wanted to unleash it, and he came to bed and our oldest son was not home yet, and he left the bedroom door open to make sure we heard him come in, after about 30 mins he did, the door was shut and we made love and it was amazing, however I found that I was already in the “mindset”  that he was not “wanting me” and well “the mood” was not there, I had to clear my energy before I could begin to enjoy myself.

Its funny how the saying the mind is a very sexual organ, It is very much true, I love sex, I love to make love, I love passion even more and I seek a life full of it with him. I find that my mind most times gets in the way, assuming what he wants or dont want. Aching for him so often and finding myself so frustrated because that is not fulfilled inside of me, wanting to touch him, longing to feel him kiss me like he wants me and no one else, touching me like he cant wait until the time comes where he’s so excited he has no choice but to find somewhere to release at least a little energy. Uninhibited passion. An Energy everyone around us experiences. 

I was abused at a young age,I was told I was not worthy of someones love and would only be “Used” because that is what I deserved, for many years I allowed my mind to repeat those words and I continued the abuse on myself, I awakened and I realized who I really am. Does he see this? Does he know I am always looking at him? Does he know of this passion inside of me? Have I abandoned myself and my desires and my dreams?  Have I just allowed everyday human life and human scheduling to mold me?  Have I abandoned my sexuality, Have I abandoned my Passion? Have I abandoned who I really am? I no longer want to do this to myself, I no longer want to keep this boxed up inside of me, I no longer want boundaries, I no longer want schedules, I no longer want this cycle. How can I break free if he is stuck in his mind?

Its been 8 years since I met him, its been a rough 8 years, we have been through hell and back numerous times, however I still look at him like I did the very first time I saw him, I still lust for him always, I still long for him all day everyday! I still see his soul through his eyes, I still watch him walk, I still sniff his t shirts when he’s not around just to smell him, I still watch him sleep, I still want to care for him and make sure he’s ok, I still and always will love him unconditionally, I want him and only him. He’s amazing, he’s kind and loving and loyal and  he’s helpful and generous. He cares for our family and he provides for us, So what more could I possibly want? I just want him to pin me up against a wall, I want  him to hold me down, I want him to tell me in my ear he wants me,I want him to come to bed with no under ware on, I want him to sneak me off into the bedroom and kiss me passionately and let me know later when everyone leaves what is going to happen, I want him to keep me in suspense, I want him to want me as much as I want him. 

If he does how would I know? 

I would make him so damn happy he would be on an all time high!

Maybe he just doesn’t want me? I dont mean just sexually I mean Passionately, give me a reason to dress up, give me a reason to be naughty, give me permission to show you who I am! 

maybe he just dont want me like that, maybe he just dont see me like that, a life of  constant passion?

Why does my mind want to continue to tell me reason after reason why he shouldn’t, or why he don’t.

 What would happen if I just let all of my guards down, If I unleashed all of this passion and desire? To be accepted for it would be bliss, to be rejected for it at any time would be detrimental, and if he’s waiting for me to show him, why would he not help me by simply breaking some of his walls and showing me, its as if there is an unspoken elephant in the room that keeps saying, “wait for her to make a move”. 

He should be able to see I am scared and he should be able to feel my energy. Why is it so hard for him to just be the aggressor and except that all the while knowing I am wanting him at all times there is no bad time! If he made an effort to help me unleash this passion would he not feel the energy more strongly?

Do you feel her husband knows this information and is just rejecting her? Has she told him she simply needs him to be the “aggressor.” Does he feel unwanted because she is rarely the aggressor? If she’s responding to his advances EVERYTIME without ever rejecting him should that not tell him he’s wanted always? Or does he feel she’s just not that sexual?

Is there really this bad “stigma” that women dont enjoy sex, and men are pigs and that is all they think about, In this instance did this man assume his wife was not interested in him and he stepped out of the marriage to  “feel wanted”? That Stigma still rings odd to me because that seems to always be on my mind and I’m female. We can be at the grocery store looking at produce and I get a sniff of his cologne or I look at how his jeans fit and I get turned on, I find myself even when I am sick with a stuffed up nose wanting to be intimate with him. All he has to do is give me that look, or touch me, there is NO rejection, Never, he can wake me up out of a dead sleep and I would be ecstatic, I could be passing a kidney stone in severe pain and still welcome his advances. It dont matter if I have a severe “Headache” if he wanted to make love I know it would help my headache.

Why do humans make this so difficult? Why does the mind tell you if your not getting it at home, you can get it somewhere else, why is the excitement of an affair often the reason they continue. Why are we finding reasons to NOT find this excitement with our partners, the ones we share our lives with, the ones we love. Why is the answer always abandonment, abandon the commitment, abandon the relationship, abandon the communication, abandoning ourselves. and our desires and our dreams? Imagine if we all unleashed all of our passion on our partners, Imagine the marriages that would be healed, the relationships that would flourish, Why would you need to abandon your commitment, if you were fulfilled at home with your partner, Does it not start with You? What is it you are Abandoning? Your partners needs/desires? Are you abandoning your communication? Are you Abandoning YOUR desires?  Looking into ourselves are finally figuring out what it is we are abandoning and why it would cure a world of assumption and “mind noise”.  How could it not?

Love and light

Lois

My dear Past,

OUTATIME-carMy dear PAST,

I am writing you this letter so you can keep it close to you to understand why I am leaving you, you have given me second guesses, you have made life with others tolerable, and you have always given me the perfect reason to hide myself from others who didn’t deserve it!

I wanted to also inform you that because I will not be with you any longer I am going to accept the present moment more fully as my committed partner for existence here.  You always didn’t like the present moment and I get it, the present moment is a very sexy thing to try and compete with.  I know this will be hard for you and I hope that some day you will understand that it wasn’t you! IT WAS ME!

I just couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be repeatedly. It made me hard to understand, it gave me excuses to have pain that I would inflict on others. I just didn’t feel that was right of you to do that!  I had many affairs on you, I would sneak and meet someone and not hold their past against them and they wouldn’t hold my past against me (hell there were times you told me it was ok to keep it from others).  Then somehow, someway you would convince me to sleep with you again.  That wasn’t right. I did eventually leave them for you. Cause you were just to intoxicating for me to remove from myself.  I do want you to know I have released you from any alimony or child support. In other words you no longer have to pay for trips back down memory lane that will make me make a decision to endure your kind of pain. Cause my future will remain unknown to me.  Me and the present moment have spoken to this in great lengths. It is again not about you… IT IS ABOUT ME. I just realized it!  The present moment also said that I could not have any affairs with a little part of you or the future. So I know that this was a trying message to read.  But I thought I would leave a few things for you to realize going forward in the terms of the restraining order.

1) You are not allowed to come into my life to try and tell me what is going to happen, you must remain more than a mile away from me at all times.

2) Any lie you hear me tell myself about love, you are not allowed to come in and give it validity.

3) Anger, resentment, punishment, are mine to take in that moment as I take it, it will not build!  You have a restraining order PAY ATTENTION TO NUMBER 1 RULE!

4) You under no condition will try and tell me what love is or what it isn’t!  Your the past you can’t possible know what love is in this moment. Hence why I am leaving you for THE PRESENT MOMENT!

5) Don’t try to surface telling me I will be more protective and guarded of myself and my experiences that are in the present moment with you around. You aren’t psychic so stop claiming to be you have a catalog of history be a history teacher not a present moment connoisseur. I am not going to believe it to repeat it!

6) YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!  THE PRESENT MOMENT GAVE YOU YOUR TERMINATION PAPERS! READ IT AND GET TO STEPPING!

7) I believe I can fly without you, in other words you clipped my wings for long enough with your ability to tell me who I was with repeated memories of pain and more pain. My wings got weighted down with tar thanks to you.  NO MORE!

8) You are not allowed to use my mind against me. You can not find a way in manipulating things that i currently doing trying to show me all the different scenarios of what is to come based on results that were in the past.  Again this isn’t about you! It’s about ME!

9) You are not allowed to find a pathway into dreams, into day or night or other. It isn’t that I don’t love you completely I do in fact hence why I am letting you go completely.

10) Don’t take my love for granted, it will grow now because of your absence. It will realize there never had to be a limit and it will heal in your absorption of love I have inside me to make me the man she needs and wants. The present moment sends love your way, that you will find peace.

These are the guidelines for this divorce and I know you will have no choice to but to abide my wishes as it would show me how much you don’t love me by breaking these rules!

Wishing you luck finding another to pursue this with,

Clark Kent Esq.

To abandon the self…. Abandonment series is coming Jan 2014

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The struggle of what comes to us when we are thinking we are not worthy, we are not enough, we are not being heard comes from a place inside that isn’t about the other person, events or what is actually our view point at the time but rather what we are not listening to inside of ourselves, We’d rather make this about the ignoring of what we are doing to what is inside that is being said that we become almost irritated, irate or feel betrayal of abandonment by the events, people or the silence we aren’t listening to as a  form of communication with this information lodged within!  We elect this as a way of thinking not truly even seeing we are emitting the energy of bringing more of what is going on outside of us rather that was is going inside of us.  The more the vibration of what we find irritates us inside resonates from what we are doing inside of us.

 

Here it is…  Let me give a scenario in which this becomes the truth and you make everything else a lie.   Gosh I need a break, I need to meditate more, I wish I could do this for myself.  As this energy is placed on a back burner, we don’t see the energy of making ourselves secondary and then when we don’t get it from ourselves we end up blowing up at those that do the same, not because we see us doing it to ourselves but because we don’t see the energy we created for those close to us to do the same that we already do to ourselves.  This false sense of being is the lie, the truth is we again found a way to make what we give ourselves secondary to ourselves and then become enraged, sad, alone, because we don’t do so for ourselves thus the energy polarity will never be as strong as to what we say we give to everyone else in priority. (This gives new meaning to how deep you can give to another does it not?)

 

We are the root of the energy that surrounds us, to change this you have to dive into your own energy and give yourself this first.  This is what is meant by you can’t give someone what you don’t give yourself.  Do you see the dysfunction in what you seek outside you, is never going to be the energy that will elude you, not because you see this as it is happening as a cycle, but because you created the energy to give abandonment energy to yourself making others see this same energy without their knowing to give you more of the same of what you do to yourself.

 

Your true joy in radiant being is found in what you give to yourself and what you can share after doing so with another.  This energy is fully present in all things it’s not seen as this way of translating but can you imagine if it was?

 

Love this about you, as this is where the food for the ego becomes dangerous. It has this about what you are doing to yourself, and now will give you permission to have self pity, where self pity is the over lying blanket to the truth of what this really is.  Love is what you are in this moment and love in this moment is what can embrace you through this to give you this truth of love you are inside of any and all streams of energy you create without knowing!   In knowing you are more beyond this, it is the energy itself that has no sense of self your knowing is that self!

 

Here is one more example,  when asked when was the last time you placed your hand over your heart to sync with yourself and give yourself the attention in love you can give yourself, and you say I keep meaning to, isn’t this the same thing you are complaining about that others won’t give you?  Do you see the writing on the wall as it pertains to energy?  You give the silent permission to make yourself secondary not seeing that the energy is silent and still will be something others will hear and do to you as you do to yourself, even if you don’t think they can!

 

Do you feel what is left here in what has been shared?  Do you see how this when truly felt in what it is can give a love greater in knowing then thinking.  Just be my friend!

 

Love Deeply not just to those who surround you but to yourself which will be a much greater love that they will experience from you!

With Love,

Lois and Clark

 

 

 

Make 2014 Your year for Healing!!!

Healing series!

Know thy self….

ice-loves-cocoThe true answer to a question…?

The truth answers all questions and doesn’t require thinking to stand in it! It’s when it becomes a lie that thinking stands directly in it and causes a false way into being.

What do you think happens when this life is over?

As we are shown a line we see it can be infinite… Just because it is not being drawn do we say that it ends… Your life is sustaining the line that you can’t see the end. This is the first truth you accept as that your life is continuous this existence is not. When has energy ever stopped being energized? Ask yourself for this truth and the truth shall be pointed to you. What is aliveness to you is going to point you to a stream whether it be water or life.. Water is the human vessel that you have and no matter where you are in this existence you know water is always there. This is a truth and you can embrace it as such as a life stream that will evolve yet never truly die. Only the form will change not the existence of life itself.

I just met my new or possibly old spiritual guide this morning during my meditation… It appeared as a white orb… it is going to guide me threw the next stage of my enlightenment… wondering if anyone else would like to share a similar experience.

The path one can take when awakening can be by the pull of something that is always making its way to you. When I took my existence I felt something was taken from me, as far as what I can tell I totally lost my mind (EGO), i experience clearly the orbs mentioned along with the entering and exiting of energy that comes to either speak to what I have no way other than to share it in truth. This can be an energy that was here before or an energy that still creates the here we exist within. It is quite a feat as I speak Lois often says they didn’t understand what you said cause you speak alien… I am ofter reminded that not many speak from what I can from what I am within now. I know we speak human but we miss the depth that it can speak from. I find it not so much possible to determine which is the truth anymore my travels in my body or the travels out of my body. I spend this moment just inside using this body to get from here to there.. But the soul that derives from orb energy is derived from the source. This path can be a path that points you to it!

For those of you who have been in long term partnerships: If you and your significant other were introduced to each other for the first time today, spent a little time getting acquainted, would you still end up in a relationship together?

No… we would go through the annihilation process again.. for without this the removal of roles that we both played in relationships before our meeting would need the awakening to transpire as a point of impact of the truth. The pain would be something we would endure again. For without this the uncovering of the birth of the true self would not emerge and the connection that didn’t need our egos would be brought back to the front of the mental capacity of what we deemed was a relationship would be back in place. How do you hide from destiny is uncovered through the enduring pains you experience in this existence. It will take these away from you when you experience it as it is! Through pain that the truth will set you free of!

Who you are beyond what you think you are…

How does this manifest itself when you are constantly thinking, you are thinking as a matter of consequence.  As you go inside yourself there is something happening inside you that is love.. There is nothing about this love that is seeking answers it is only generating the energy you are in all moments as the answer to any question.

As you possess the knowing inside you, this is how you can find the energy that mirrors your own.  Not because something outside you told you this was possible but because inside you as a stream of energy it has it’s origin.

As I found myself it wasn’t because I was in search inside, I was constantly seeking outside myself as we are all taught to do.  There could never be any truth to this search and it did what it was supposed to do.  It would give me content to grasp something that will forever elude me and never give me any of my own truth.  Just more energy of what I was not as a way of being.  Do you seek knowing thy self?

Ice-T-and-Coco-Discuss-Their-Wedding-DayDo you seek knowing who is your mirror of yourself without the mind then you can have come to the right place.  Here in these writings is my own fortress of solitude that pointed me inside myself.  You will find something that resonates inside yourself.  Not because it was left her for you to find a new belief but because inside each of us there is no path of questions that point you to your own truth.  Well that truth is the root of who you are without anyone telling you.  I hope this finds you loving deeply,

Sometimes the patience comes to from knowing..

Clark

Be Vulnerable?

man20and20bear1Vulnerability and you…..

 

Had an amazing meeting last night where it seemed that vulnerability was the topic of discussion this ranged from rejection to fear of rejection to the inevitable why someone makes the choices they make whether it is showing a side of themselves that has the ability to make them look weak.

 

Being true to yourself and others is a great ability that we result in making a very scary place to stand within.  This could be how we approach others, how we become confrontational when confrontation is far from what we are trying to express.  This leads to thinking that we are less than somehow.  The issue results in us being very avoidable, very discreet and in some cases just plain disconnected from others to cause our energy to seem unapproachable.

 

When we express our vulnerable side we have a choice.  We can walk up to those that are hurting or hiding and offer our hand out to help them through this.  We can do this in a multitude of ways.  Offering something in kindness, asking them if they are ok and state that if they need someone to compassionately listen then it becomes the safe jacket we all need.  If you stand in your truth of why you are feeling their energy you can state it in such a way to offer someone a ear to listen to what is going on in ones thoughts.

 

It is true we are all walking elements of love.  If you lose site of this because you are identified with your ego, you will indeed keep feeding this ego thoughts to keep you isolated from letting go the of this way of thinking.

 

 

With that we are posting this poll and asking this as a direct question?

 

What is healthy to do when feeling vulnerable?

 

 

Vulnerability is a weakness that hides the truth?

 

 

Love Deeply,

Lois and Clark