Live! Internet Radio Show with Relationship Reinvented and Special Guest Eileen Bild! Topic: Abandonment and the factors of it in our Lives!

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Healing series!

My dear Past,


I am writing you this letter so you can keep it close to you to understand why I am leaving you, you have given me second guesses, you have made life with others tolerable, and you have always given me the perfect reason to hide myself from others who didn’t deserve it!

I wanted to also inform you that because I will not be with you any longer I am going to accept the present moment more fully as my committed partner for existence here.  You always didn’t like the present moment and I get it, the present moment is a very sexy thing to try and compete with.  I know this will be hard for you and I hope that some day you will understand that it wasn’t you! IT WAS ME!

I just couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be repeatedly. It made me hard to understand, it gave me excuses to have pain that I would inflict on others. I just didn’t feel that was right of you to do that!  I had many affairs on you, I would sneak and meet someone and not hold their past against them and they wouldn’t hold my past against me (hell there were times you told me it was ok to keep it from others).  Then somehow, someway you would convince me to sleep with you again.  That wasn’t right. I did eventually leave them for you. Cause you were just to intoxicating for me to remove from myself.  I do want you to know I have released you from any alimony or child support. In other words you no longer have to pay for trips back down memory lane that will make me make a decision to endure your kind of pain. Cause my future will remain unknown to me.  Me and the present moment have spoken to this in great lengths. It is again not about you… IT IS ABOUT ME. I just realized it!  The present moment also said that I could not have any affairs with a little part of you or the future. So I know that this was a trying message to read.  But I thought I would leave a few things for you to realize going forward in the terms of the restraining order.

1) You are not allowed to come into my life to try and tell me what is going to happen, you must remain more than a mile away from me at all times.

2) Any lie you hear me tell myself about love, you are not allowed to come in and give it validity.

3) Anger, resentment, punishment, are mine to take in that moment as I take it, it will not build!  You have a restraining order PAY ATTENTION TO NUMBER 1 RULE!

4) You under no condition will try and tell me what love is or what it isn’t!  Your the past you can’t possible know what love is in this moment. Hence why I am leaving you for THE PRESENT MOMENT!

5) Don’t try to surface telling me I will be more protective and guarded of myself and my experiences that are in the present moment with you around. You aren’t psychic so stop claiming to be you have a catalog of history be a history teacher not a present moment connoisseur. I am not going to believe it to repeat it!


7) I believe I can fly without you, in other words you clipped my wings for long enough with your ability to tell me who I was with repeated memories of pain and more pain. My wings got weighted down with tar thanks to you.  NO MORE!

8) You are not allowed to use my mind against me. You can not find a way in manipulating things that i currently doing trying to show me all the different scenarios of what is to come based on results that were in the past.  Again this isn’t about you! It’s about ME!

9) You are not allowed to find a pathway into dreams, into day or night or other. It isn’t that I don’t love you completely I do in fact hence why I am letting you go completely.

10) Don’t take my love for granted, it will grow now because of your absence. It will realize there never had to be a limit and it will heal in your absorption of love I have inside me to make me the man she needs and wants. The present moment sends love your way, that you will find peace.

These are the guidelines for this divorce and I know you will have no choice to but to abide my wishes as it would show me how much you don’t love me by breaking these rules!

Wishing you luck finding another to pursue this with,

Clark Kent Esq.

Addiction to Abandonment…



Dear Clark,

I do things for others from the kindness of my heart, its not that I expect anything in return, I have always been a giving person.
This is most probably from an ego prospective…but I have been poorly recently, and my family have shared their views with me regarding the fact that my twin never seems to support me or see if im ok, they do not understand how someone who loves me is never there….its hard to explain to the people I love about the dynamics of the relationship without them thinking i am justifying or defending him.


My mother has told me that I deserve more than this, that Its almost as if I am still single and part of me feels that…I read your blog the other day about ‘not knowing who I am anymore’ and I completely resonated with what you wrote about lois and how she felt, it was as if I had wrote that.. however I cant run from him, I cant end the relationship…I cant hurt him because I would be hurting myself, and I know that there is a purpose for this . It seems once again we are on a separation period…there has been no ego triggers…all he has said is…that he’s angry and he doesn’t know why…I accept this, I never never wish to control him…that isn’t love to me. I dont chase him. Regarding the separation periods…will they ever end? I know I am such a beautiful person,although my ego gives me a battle about this sometimes.  The one person I find it hard to communicate with is my twin…I think he finds it hard too so thats why we end up physically not being together. I know he doesn’t wish to hurt me and I dont want to hurt him either. Can you explain a little more about the addiction to abandonment part please?



Clark: As an infant my father seldom held me, he seldom even played with me or spoke with me, he stared at me for the most part. Never sharing what he was feeling or what he must have been thinking.  As I grew 6 years later he stopped coming home not saying a word, nothing for my birthday, thanksgiving yet christmas he arrived..  Still very few words about what he was feeling was something I was unable to experience.  As I continued to grow I was able to gravitate to the sadness and the depth of love my mother could feel yet had words that wanted to find a logic in it.  As thinking became my way of existence I wasn’t able to clearly think, just feel.  This gave my mind the permission as it were to abandon myself.  Yes I said this correctly.  As we abandon ourselves and what we feel, we now have found an off button to pain.  A pain that we seek answers to.  When the answers aren’t available, we will abandon ourselves, some will do so in acts of drinking, drugs, and I am sure you can imagine a few others.  This state of being is a way of existing.  You can’t be what you don’t have someone there to see them do it, so you find a path mind driven with a mind result.  This leaves your feeling in a state of uncertainty.


I made my father not being in my life about him where in fact, in his existence it was not about me.. It was about him not having a father in his existence to show him how to be a father.  It sounds like a simple fix but it becomes driven in the mind to place a lie inside of the place to become the addiction to repeat the suffering rather than embrace it to not know if it can be healed.  Under this embracing in thinking is that it is going to end you, in a way the mind makes it to painful to endure the truth in needs more statements.  This is when the addiction is created keeping you from the truth.


The truth about addiction is that it is covering up your pain.. It wants the root to be protected! Where the root is actually what can heal you if you stop thinking long enough to see what the truth wishes to show you.


As an identity to ego, suffering needs this as food.. In this case you are clearly asking for the ego to no longer be in place for him, his ability to give you something he has not experienced in energy is not his doing but rather his ego’s need for survival.  For him to tell you that he doesn’t know what to say or that he says nothing is how he has food for suffering.  You see this suffering as your own.. and in some ways it is, it has a familiar energy to it.  The addiction to pain was created in this condition.  Yes condition is the word, as if the condition wasn’t inside you both, it would not point to be broken to become unconditional.


His truth could be that he will leave you because in him within his very first unconditional love experience he was left without this as well.  So doing it to you before you can do it to him is his suffering.  It doesn’t have anything to do with you it was something he was placed here to change in purpose.  Energy is not complicated only how we translate it inside the mind is that it becomes complex or complicated.


So as you try and make excuses for him realize it is only adding to his suffering as well as your own.  The root is protected in ego and it in truth has nothing to do with running or chasing it has to do with not standing in your truth!  Pain lives on it darkness it can’t survive in the light.. This is the only cure to addiction and abandonment!




Friend: I am stumped by what you have wrote, my father was very much the same towards me. last night it occurred to me that I was conditioned to believe that I was never going to amount to anything. This belief I have carried around with me, when things have become tough in my life…I would always have this horrible feeling raise up that I was always doing wrong and it would eat me up, to the point where I didn’t want to be here anymore. I would feel like a failure, what do i do with knowing this now? Clark is the healing process about changing our belief system…changing the way we think and seeing that we are in fact so much more than we think we are?

I am tired of this cycle of suffering,  I am drained, if it wasn’t for my children being here I would happily sleep for days on end…I am not fearful of pain, how is it possible to see clearly when all I see is a haze in front of me, when my ego does this…i literally have to let it just be…cry if I must, scream from the inside if needs be… but I know the more I try to be a peace within…the further I am away from it…thats all id really like…peace..nothing more…

I have searched for this root that is embedded in me, so I can heal it..but i dont know where i am looking..or do i heal it by replacing it with the truth of that i am? And how do I go about doing that?


The truth my friend… You have been drawn to men who will repeat the energy one way or another of that as your father did.  If you still have him in your life you can heal this by simply telling him what you would think inside and then let it go… This energy was the stream that you are in.. being in it requires you to be humble to accept that what we was and how he was had nothing to do with you at all… It is how forgiveness is calling to you.. as for what to do now..  NOW is the key..  This second.. this moment you are face to face with the now… The now is what keeps the past where it needs to be and the future just in this moment.  This is when you see how beautiful you are without seeing the labels you can place on anything.. How the content of how others act means they are focus on time and the time bound ego to exist is suffering.  You don’t have to suffer.. The end of suffering comes clearly in the now…  Is your heart beating?  Are your lungs filling with air.. are you able to focus on being inside you and loving unconditionally without any looking at what is out there…  This is your truth.  Look into your children’s eyes and then place your hand over their heart… feel their heartbeat and allow them to experience you feeling their heartbeat and ask them to feel yours…  do you see the simplicity of being my friend…


How often do you drive somewhere and not pay attention to holding the steering wheel or the other cars coming and going around you?  What about when you walk.. how your legs allow you to move and experience the motion itself.  To much time spent on thinking about this or that is keeping you from the only thing you ever have…  This moment!  In this moment you are the MORE, you are this moment.  No longer seek to find yourself in your mind.. You unlocked something very powerful in this seeing of your first relationship with a man.. That is healing and that is allowing yourself to be!   The repeat behavior of what you have been was based on content that kept you from experiencing the love you can give in this moment not just to others but deeper to yourself… are you sure that the priority of thinking is not placed in the wrong bucket of life?  This existence you have is how magical you are.. You are magic!  You just have to feel it real time.. to realize there is no time, there is only now..  Once you give up time, you embrace all things in this moment…  When was the last time you paid attention to all the energy going on in this moment?  Don’t you see that the balance of doing so, now is now and it has been missed by thinking which causes regret, pain, suffering, etc….



The ego looks for a backdoor in the now.. it always will win, especially when suffering is all it can do to make you gravitate to it.  What if you surrendered and asked your mind what now?  It will be silent… It doesn’t know the now, it only knows past and future!



Deep breathing and awakening the kundalini mediation was what I went to… by kelly howell… listening to her with headphones… taught me how to breathe again…  we forget that we are breathing because of the mind made you… isn’t it time for the soul to come forward?  It is always breathing isn’t it time to sync with it?


Love Deeply,



angry-coupleIn Every relationship in our lives, friendships, family, romantic and professional can potentially be destroyed by conflict. The solution is not to ignore the conflict or keep moving around hoping to find the perfect person or perfect people. We need to deal with the problems we currently face, otherwise they will just reappear elsewhere. The only thing we have the power to change in any relationship is ourselves and our own attitude. We can’t expect to change other people, but we can learn to deal with relationships in a way that promotes peace and diffuses conflict. Learning to Resolve conflicts in a relationship is one of the most important life skills we can develop and it is something we need to value.

I believe, it is important to see the problem from the other person’s perspective. This does not mean we have to agree with their viewpoint; it means we try to see the issue from a different perspective. This can at least help us to understand where they are coming from, and why they have their particular mindset. If we can do this we may wish to moderate our stance because we understand why they are acting in a certain way. If we only look at things from our perspective, conflict will certainly arise. A major cause of conflict in relationships is when we expect people to behave in a certain way. The problem with expecting certain behavior is that we get upset when they fail to live up to our expectations. Even those close to us are not our responsibility; we need to be tolerant of their mistakes and limitations. We have to respect their decisions on how to live their life. This detachment is not indifference; we can retain concern , but there comes a point where we need to give people the freedom to make their own choices, even if we don’t agree with them.

Unfortunately, if we respond to situations by getting angry we will make the situation even worse. Anger holds a feeling of aggression and condemnation which people struggle to deal with it. It also calls out and it encourages people to respond in a similar way. If we feel angry, the best solution is to avoid talking , arguing at that particular time. We should calm our anger before confronting other people. Any conflict will only be heightened by anger. Similarly, if people approach us with anger, we have to learn to respond differently ,silence is better than getting mad at someone.

Most of the time we get what we aspire for. If we really value peace in our relationships with others, then we will make it happen. If we make proving the other person wrong or proving ourselves right the priority, then there will be a constant feeling of superiority and inferiority which breeds conflict. If we keep reminding ourselves of the desirability of peace we won’t allow ourselves to become argumentative and miserable.

One of the secrets to maintaining good relationships is generating a feeling of oneness. This means we will feel happy at the success of others; we will sympathize when they experience difficulties; we will strive to avoid hurting their feelings. In oneness there is no superiority and inferiority. Without oneness, we are prone to feelings of pride, jealousy and insecurity. If you feel a really genuine sense of oneness with other people, how can you want to hurt them? Certainly this is the case is romantic relationships, the very last thing we should want to do is hurt the one we are in love with, I know it hurts me to the core when I say anything hurtful to Lee. It should also ring very true in family relationships, every family has conflict, most every time its caused by egos colliding, I have found that ridding myself of my ego has been most helpful, this has removed any and all conflict within myself for anyone I am associated with. I allowed my mind to tell me that without my ego I would be just an insecure human being.

When we are full of insecurities our relationships become more difficult. The problem is that if we are insecure about ourselves we can become judgemental about other people; to make ourselves feel better we will start criticizing others. We may not be conscious of this, but it does happen.(This is why i choose to not let my mind control me) When we are at peace with ourselves, good peaceful relationships come natural. When we have inner peace , we don’t rely on other people to give us security and praise. When we are at peace with ourselves, we tend to have a sympathetic and positive view of the world. Often we want to blame bad relationships on other people; but, actually the only thing we can really do is to work on ourselves. If we develop inner peace  our relationships will definitely improve.

When tense situations arise, talking can be the most effective way of moving past the problem. Some things are best left unsaid; it does no one any good to bring up old conflicts unless absolutely necessary, what has already happened cannot be changed. When talking we should try to talk about positive issues; look for things which we agree on and can work together on.

Don’t get upset about little things. In the great cosmic game, most of the minor personality conflicts are relatively insignificant. If we get mad when someone doesn’t do the washing up, how are we going to react when they do something really bad? If you find yourself getting worked up by a series of small things, take a step back and try to evaluate their relative importance. For each minor failing try to think of a really good quality of that person. If you are sincere you will feel that this good quality is far more important than the minor indiscretion, This is something I have had to step back myself and put into action.

No conflict is difficult. If we are willing to change our attitude,release our egos. we can develop peace even with difficult people. It is always important to be positive and forget the past. If we can develop peace in our relationships, it will definitely make a big difference to our lives.

Live, Laugh, Love



Thinking as a disease…

thinkingchartYou can endure moments that the mind can make the pain seem less or more than it truly is. This happens when moments of clarity become cloudy and misty.  What path you take to enlightenment can be summed by what you experience in seeking what answers are relevant to you in that moment.  Take what you feel, when you feel attacked, or misled, or kept in the dark.   These kinds of emotions translated into thought have only one background.  The background of your own thinking.  You will have thoughts that you are wrong, you are not worthy, you are not right about anything.  These thoughts have a place of changing what you feel, not by seeing you have a choice, but by not seeing that you can make a choice.  You always have a choice to let this thinking go.  We make this thinking about ourselves for that very reason.  It is easier to have a sad face or angry face, and the energy of it gives you what you place in thought.  How is this thinking ever going to be removed?  How does this thinking ever get it’s day where it no longer has control over you?


This question has posed itself many of times, and time is the only thing that keeps it alive.  It looks for what has happened to keep the line of thinking as a observant control device to keep you never seeing the present moment, or it’s place in what it gives you as far as sight.  You can be hurt repeatedly by yourself, cause you don’t even see that when you have pain you create a self, in that pain. The victim of your own thinking… Your thinking does this as a means to an end, of a mean to keep the present moment from you.  How this one little lie in thinking embeds itself in what you experience, is your state of thinking and not your state of being.


One of the most challenging moments that happens to all things is what happens in the mind, as it tries to solve equations and problems, that we are educated to do inside of ourselves from the moment we are 2 years old or earlier.  We created this prison as a means to be civil to one another, yet punish ourselves without anyone watching as the thoughts command you see this from a mental position.  If your mind is the warden, and you are the inmate, what you do inside yourself is the same that we do outside to ourselves for others to intertwine in our energy.  This disease has long since been in effect not because we asked for it.. We actually don’t see it in this way to see that we can always be free or paroled as it were, without the life sentence we are under, because of the mind and it’s need to attack.   I am not saying all thinking is bad, just the parts that take us away from the present moment and we blame others for that.  We keep this part of thinking as a means to interact in the world.  How we interpret good and bad has to see it from a mental position to identify with how we are in the world.


We even suffer more because we often take this moment to judge ourselves and how we have to apologize to others because our thinking mind created the things we do and how that becomes more emotionally withdrawn because we feel we are always doing the wrong thing, or saying the wrong thing. This can also be right and right gives the same energy as well.  One feels different that the other yet both have same strength in energy.  It is not on purpose this happens we just see and hear what it going on around us, and we don’t remove this energy as it is, because it is our thinking that keeps us in this way of thinking. What if the line between thinking and knowing was drawn wouldn’t it be a simple world to be within as we wouldn’t hold back the truth anymore for there would be no reason to.  I imagine this is a different view to experience this from.  Yet the suffering of thinking has a cure.  That cure is you.. and the cure is available to you in the present moment when you no longer seek yourself in your thoughts but seek yourself in being.


You are more, beyond thinking you don’t need anyone to tell you this just that one voice in you that makes thinking primary where in truth it is secondary to your own being.



The chart above can be looked at when you close your finger in a door or have severe back pain..  How about thinking do you see how this chart points to the truth about thinking?


Love deeply,


Resonating the soul of twins…

seemeHi Lois and Clark,


I have been educating myself more about twin flames, and noticed that there is a presence on my left it feels like a hug.

In August I felt an immense feeling of love in my heart/ vortex type motion on my left. I went to sleep and there was an invisible person kissing me with enthusiasm and excitement and merging with my chakras.


A psychic I went to informed me I have a etheric baby and a cord tie. She can see it through my energy field.


The last 3 years, I went through ascension/clearing and forgiveness of everything. I became non attached and loving in the Now.


A couple of days prior I heard a telepathic voice saying ‘There is the exit door’. I have a brief feeling that the person is someone I met 5 years ago, I interpreted the feeling as a strong pull/ infatuation and I let go of it. (We were able to sense each other’s presence without using eyesight). He would always silently/quizzically observe me. Or look around as if he can sense someone too.


I’m not that spiritual but when I saw him it was like looking at myself. I fell in love with the formless version of him. Not the the form. That is why I was able to ‘sense’ him. I never believed that anything like this is possible.


I let him go and wished him blessings and success/thanked God and moved on thinking it was a strong crush. Nothing more. My intuition is pointing to him.

I will wait an see what more is in store for me. I’m XX.


I would love your view on this Lois and Clark 🙂


Much love,

Thank you



Lois & Clark: So how often do you not listen to your intuition?  and may we ask why?

Friend: Why I do not listen to my intuition?


It is the ego, when I saw him I thought he was too good to be true. Way too perfect in every way. Not realizing I was looking at my own essence too.

I did not see myself in this way at the time. The ego/mind would never believe the impossible even though the answer nags my mind all the time.

I had to accept myself first and understand that the love I feel for others, another person can feel it for me too.


My ego kept talking me out of it and normalizing it. It is only this year that I have stopped looking through the lens of the ego. And, lo and behold God is working to his schedule.

The ego lies. The heart tells the truth. That is the biggest lesson I have learnt this year. All life lessons are sent for a reason.


I have learnt not to believe the lie of the ego and not to fear any of my demons no longer. I am a deserving person. And I feel I deserve someone who is like me. Someone who can perceive the beauty in everything. Even the ugly. I see my ego now as a protection mechanism who prefers the comfort and familiar patterns. I have moved my awareness away from it. I can even see when my friends and family are operating from the ego. Fear, sadness, despair and uncertainty.

The true self is patient, loving, forgiving and feels no fear as such but simply observes, forgives and sees.



When I first saw him I was 19 at the time. I did not know about twin flames at all in the slightest way. I thought it was a huge crush.

People can see white orbs around me all the time and a Higher Self figure on my right, I never tied things together.

In the last 3 months I began googling about Twin flames. That is when I started to gain more knowledge about these paranormal things.

I am a Science major. This has challenged all previous perceptions I had about the law of the Universe and physics. Everything.


I do not have paranormal 3rd eye chakra sight. My younger sister does. And I went to a psychic after this strange invisible lover etc. My  sister says there is a baby and the psychic says the same.


This strange tunnel on my left sometimes opens from my heart chakra. And I realized it opens up when you feel mercy or compassion towards someone.

The first time I saw him I have a feeling the tunnel opened from his side first (the infinity symbol appears and a huge circle). I was dragged into it.

This is all before he even saw me! This is the dragging motion I felt.


This vortex tunnel also opens when I talk about forgiveness and God’s love, It is a wormhole shape and rises out of the Sacral Chakra and comes out of the Thymus Chakra. (This is all from my younger sister who has clairvoyant abilities too).

Thank you.


I had a feeling something fishy was going on from May 2013 onwards, I am starting to link it all now.



Lois & Clark:


What you experienced is the awakening of something within.  This is the reason we asked about intuition, for it is the place inside that stirs when something vibrational has affected in embracing us.  This energy is the energy in direction of what goes past the surface of the ocean into it’s depth’s.  You can feel this when you first felt something in you and then translated it into thought to the mind made you (ego) was evidence of something new yet, it was familiar.  This was when the choice to be of mind or of nature became aware of itself inside you.


When we state aware of itself, we mean that something in you as energy connected where as the mind itself became the gate keeper to what it all means.  It even started to give the ideals that were created as a connection.


Here is an example; what resonated in you is what resonates in this way.  Your first experience of a relationship with a man came from what you experienced with your father.  If he was in your existence.  His interactions with you gave you the interpretations of what you will seek in a relationship.  If he was attentive to your feelings as a infant or child, you will seek someone as a pattern in energy to experience the same.  Yet if he didn’t and you created inside you a false sense of why this didn’t happen, such as the attention you wished you wanted to get, that from the mind would look for an ulterior motive when it resonates or is not present.  This motive that the mind creates to keep you from being accepted is a great survival tool.  For you, in all actuality are waiting for the abandonment or the energy to be taken away from you.  This part of you is not that part of them, in fact it is the reason that judgement occurs and the mind seeks this in any and all feelings.


These thoughts and these ways of understanding the expression become truth yet it is the underlying lie of what you needed to tell yourself to move past the place that was left unanswered inside you.  This answer was neither a place we all see and or accept.  We accept it to move past it, where in truth we never move past it as a matter of consequence.  The view has now been created and we now have to reconcile this with something in our being that we accept as our experience in this existence.


The euphoric experience in existence is found when you are now with no concept of time at all.. This door in you, is open as you are seeing and experiencing the truth of what connection is, when it happens inside you this is where the source of all things is very present in your experience.  The intuition or vibrational energy you experience that points back to him is the cores truth. The translation is stating a minds response where the mind is viewed through the eyes of what you have summed up in content in the mind from that very view of a relationship of male or female.  What is meant by this, is that a connection of like beings experience this each with individual minds that don’t speak the same language, yet you are seeing this as they have experienced communication the same. Energy in connection has a language.



Yet, we don’t speak this language as we aren’t taught this so what we do instead is fall back to what is normal, normal is the cycled behavior of thoughts that are keeping us from being able to communicate in that vibration to go inside that direction is to where this points.  He is from jupiter and you are from mars… or vice verse.  He was not given your communication or level of how to connect anymore than you are.


We are born into this world and we have this communication of vibration in energy. We then will grow and become more adapted to what should be a thought pattern more than one of true communication of connectedness in energy and what it means.


As you attune to this energy you will experience the energy your sister has and then no longer see a thought process but the energy itself.


Intuition to us is the souls language, have you ever felt something was off and your mind convinced you it was ok?  The mind says we need tangible truth.. In other words we need to see the good in this and allow it to show itself.  More than not your intuition will be right.  We suffer in thoughts because we didn’t pay attention to our truth that energy of the soul was pointing to because of the souls quiet moment and the minds incessant ranting will consume.  This is the energy in connectedness that twins emit to each other strongly a new language is born.. It is not just about the communication in mind words created, it is something else.  This something else is how deep you embrace your intuition or soul as it were.


You are never without your soul.. It is what is always guiding you and giving you background of truth. It is a Geiger counter if you will.


As you realize you made these choices something in you is pointing you back to when something felt pure and you translated this and made this a starting point.  As for your energy with this connection how will you see the difference will be found in your thinking vs. your being!


I hope this resonates with you and don’t stop questioning the phases of the ego it is there for you to realize this is not you anymore than it is you.  It is only communicating what you ignore about your intuition or soul so to speak.


Love deeply,

Lois & Clark


The mirror of self esteem….


How many times have you betrayed yourself?  We project hate in what we hate about ourselves.. We become what we hate..when we see it in another, we will attack, we will be angry, but the truth is.. We can externally attack those that mirror something we don’t like about ourselves.  How do you do your work to fix this?  How else does pain become amplified without doing this work?


ALL Self hatred always come with a price.. We attack those that give us the betrayal we do to ourselves..


We don’t see our relationships in this way cause we don’t seek the relationship we have with ourselves, We seek external relationships to cover this up.. we seek external validation, we seek external comfort, when we don’t get it, we give ourselves the painful experience…  When someone gives us a hug are they holding the complete you if you never do?


We get mean, hateful, and we don’t honor who we are inside…


Truly successful people want to empower you to do what is right inside you, not for them, but for you…


We mimic what we have seen…  The broken mirror syndrome is in effect in this way. How many cracks a broken mirror can have are determined in the ability to heal yourself.  If you have been hurt and you neglect the hurt and even make this simple statement I need time to heal.. Is this asking for permission to hold onto that hurt a little longer?  What do you need it for?  What is it’s purpose?



So what we do, we hold unrealistic demands and expectations from everyone else to exclude ourselves….


So how do we do our work and heal what this is within us?


How do we become love instead of seeking it outside ourselves and making others responsible for it?


No one is going to make you number one when you don’t make yourself number one.. How do you wake up to make this important to you?  If pleasing someone is Important for you to give to another, then realize this will be done poorly because you lack to experience the truth that you are not giving it to yourself…


How you embrace this truth is how you either do or don’t make your giving a lie…


Have you ever told someone something that was told to you in confidence and then someone did that to you..


You did the energy to make it true.. You make yourself a victim, yet don’t see why you don’t need to be angry… Angry gives the other power and you powerless….


Trust is what we give ourselves to know the difference.. If you are betrayed by yourself you will give others this permission…



The healing that we ignore or can’t see inside of ourselves has a reflection of something inside we still need to heal.. this can show up in many different forms to include self esteem.  How you embrace this content is the minds way of showing you either the following is true or false.


He/She doesn’t listen to me, or look at me anymore.

I blame everyone for things that happen to me.

I blame my father for not being in my life or if he was he was absent in my growth.

I blame my mother for not being in my life or if she was she was absent in my growth.

I care dearly for others and their well being to include sacrificing myself to do so.

I do everything for everyone and ignore my needs allowing theirs to come first.



If any one of these statements is your way of seeing things then I want to push you at the truth… How well do you do at giving anyone anything if this is your state of what you think in what you do and what you send out?  Can a person who takes care of themselves poorly be able to take care of anyone else? Can anyone who incorporates blame be able to give you something they never got?  Isn’t the focus of what is stated here the reason blame has no truth? Or are you saying to yourself you are wrong, just because I don’t give it to myself doesn’t mean I can’t give it to anyone else.  Hmmmm.. we all become mind readers in this sense.. yet a child will always point this truth out for you, to include the child still within you.


If you said yes to this then ask yourself this one very simple powerful question…


What is love to you that you give yourself?

If you still don’t understand the question you now have a starting point!

Do you see how powerful this is..  You have done what the following statements which are victim statements have done to you..  What about what you do to yourself because those have been the lie you tell others and believe inside to keep you from yourself?



Questions that will show you what you send out…  Why doesn’t he or Why doesn’t she?


These are victim statements that claim your self esteem has been taken away.  By who? who are you given permission or taking away from at this point?  Do you see how this may be your permission that is being given or taken away inside yourself?


If your energy is directed in love at someone are you sure that energy is full of love and not the victim statements you have made in your existence embedded in that love?


Recently I listened compassionately to someone who was hurting, anxious, and scared…



They were upset over being alone..  Let’s define alone in this and in all cases…


When I am by myself, I don’t love being with myself. I want to make someone responsible to take this away from me. I will be what they want me to be, until it is time to make this known. If I can hide this from them, I can get over being by myself.  Here I am doing the same thing again, I am pathetic, I am a loser, I need to get a life.  how many of these statements that can be made will be made and will keep you from any growth in love that you can possess. Is this not a fact?


Pay attention to these statements for now that is your story and what it is that you will become.. The story.. Not the truth but the lie itself.  You are always connected.. If you weren’t, your heart would stop beating give you love, would it not?  Your ability to make yourself right in this, is the mind saying it needs this story..  What is a story in your existence?


Do you feel a story about a happy ending is what you seek?  If you are shaking your head yes right now.. I have another place to point…




ENDING…..  the word means what to you?  Are you seeing the total picture?  Are you seeing the concept and realizing you are placing a world of illusion before you that will end… ENDING is there behind happiness.  It doesn’t matter how you say it, Happily ever after…  After what?  EVER AFTER WHAT?


hmmm why not? Happy existence… shared happy truth for this existence.


If you are stating you want a happy ending.. you are stating the obvious are you not?


Happiness is the joy within you that celebrates the animation of god inside of love…  This is the truth how could it not be? Unless or until you seek this, what is it that you claim that you can say that is your love to another?  ESPECIALLY if you lack giving it to yourself to find out!


If that spoke to you, then why is everything about what your not giving yourself, and now realize it enough to start giving it to yourself?


Paint the picture of your existence not someone else’s.. Your purpose, especially since each of us has a purpose, is this one simple thing we all have in common!  Who told you that you didn’t have purpose is the one who sees this and says I need to keep my story.  This story doesn’t need to be read it needs to be written.  By you and the love you are within..



Don’t look to the ocean of stars to tell you this, look within the ocean in you… So much depth there.. so much love there…


If you are trying to fill the hole in you that is within your soul in places of your soul realize this one thing… You have the power within you to fill those holes and create the most beautiful love.. no matter how messy and no matter how painfully violent you see it as being..  This is where the work must be done.  Not for the blame you can give others, but for the love you want others to give you when you start giving it to yourself.


How deep is your self esteem? how deep is your love? how deep is your relationship with yourself?  Need not be critical of you, but critical for you! This pain is the pain of birth.. You will have a beautiful baby love born into everything when you see this for yourself.



How do you cure the addiction to pain..

Find the truth to the addiction… Ever have something sour and you wanted something sweeter.. So you put sugar in it… You taste it and keep adding sugar till it is something sweet…  You add this sugar because of the sour you didn’t like.. You found something to offset it…  This is addiction.. When you have a hole in you that is fragile (missing mother or father that fills you with love you feed into yourself) (sour). You find what you can add to it to take away the sour.. A distraction or substitute for the right thing.  Do you see that?   Drawing to family is sour and the urge to gravitate to sugar is very strong.. What if you become your sugar now.. The hole in your soul that has always needed answers would not just heal. But heal all! Making love sweet… You can become the sugar that is the truth about the love you all feel for each other… You just have to put this ingredient inside yourself!



This post is dedicated to my Lois, for without her pointing into the love I have to give to myself, grew my ability to feel her love in truth!


If the love doesn’t set you free are you sure it is love?