What every man should know….. Things to know about a woman!

forever-140x200

Things to know about women!

When she stare’s at your mouth!

[Kiss her!]

When she pushes you or hit’s you!

[Grab her and dont let go!]

When she start’s cursing at you!

[Kiss her and tell her you love her!]

When she’s quiet!

[Ask her whats wrong!]

When she ignore’s you!

[Give her your attention!]

When she pull’s away!

[Pull her back!]

When you see her at her worst!

[Tell her she’s beautiful!]

When you see her start crying!

[Just hold her and dont say a word!]

When you see her walking!

[Sneak up and hug her waist from behind!]

When she’s scared!

[Protect her!]

When she lay’s her head on your shoulder

[Tilt her head up and kiss her!]

the-kiss-140x200

When she steal’s your favorite shirt!

[Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night!]

When she tease’s you!

[Tease her back and make her laugh!]

And when she is ornery!

[Hold her down and blow razz-berries on her belly!]

When she doesn’t answer for a long time!

[Reassure her that everything is okay!]

When she look’s at you with doubt!

[Back yourself up!]

When she say’s that she like’s you!

[She really does more than you could understand!]

When she grab’s at your hands!

[Hold her’s and play with her fingers!]

When she bump’s into you!

[Bump into her back and make her laugh!]

When she tell’s you a secret!

[Keep it safe and untold!]

When she looks at you in your eyes!

[Don’t look away until she does!]

When she misses you!

[She’s hurting inside!]

When you break her heart!

[The pain never really goes away!]

When she’s mad!

[Hug her tight and don’t let go!]

Call her at 12:00am!

[On her birthday to tell her you love her!]

Treat her!

[Like she’s all that matters to you!]

Stay up all night with her!

[When she’s sick!]

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show!

[Even if you think its stupid!]

Give her!

[The world!]

Let her!

[Wear your clothes!]

Let her know!

[She’s important!]

Kiss her!

[In the pouring rain!]

When she runs up at you crying!

[The first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”  and just hold her!]

passion-140x200

The how….

Quote:The most important, the primordial relationship in your life is your

relationship with the Now, or rather with whatever form the Now takes, that is to say, what is or what happens. If your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional, that dysfunction will be reflected in every relationship and every situation you encounter. The ego could be defined simply in this way: a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment. It is at this moment that you can decide what kind of relationship you want to have with the present moment.

The decision to make the present moment into your friend is the end of the ego. The ego can never be in alignment with the present moment, which is to say, aligned with life, since its very nature compels it to ignore, resist, or devalue the Now. Time is what the ego lives on.

The stronger the ego, the more time takes over your life. Almost every thought you think is then concerned with past or future, and you sense of self depends on the past for your identity and on the future for its fulfillment. Fear, anxiety, expectation, regret, guilt, anger are the dysfunctions of the time bound state of consciousness.

There are three ways in which the ego will treat the present moment: as a means to and end, as an obstacle, or as an enemy. Let us look at them in turn, so that when this pattern operates in you, you can recognize it and decide again.  E. Tolle The New Earth 2005!

What is stated here is simple, when you make a relationship out of time you will not be successful in seeing these things in her and she will need and want you to!  Thank you for reading, and love to you in this moment!

CK

Im Marrying a Cheater!!!

 

lipstick-on-collar-378x333

 

 

As a Child I dreamed of this Connection, a love no other seemed to believe in, I would daydream about a connection so deep that you could feel physical manifestations of the other person, I dreamed and dreamed and when I spoke of this great love i was shot down,”your living in a fantasy world”. “there is no such thing, its only in dreams”. So thats where I kept it, in my dreams,,,,,, I married for 13 years, it was a “normal” marriage, I divorced dated, and then 2 years of self discovery ended me up in a new city with a brand new start and a fresh outlook on life, and then,,,,,, it all started.

 

I met him, when I saw him, my heart knew something was different, my soul awakened, my eyes were gazing upon the most beautiful man I have ever seen. We spoke and his voice consumed me, his written words were poetry to my ears. The first time my eyes saw him My heart stopped beating for seconds, I could not breathe, Ill nervier forget the fist sight, he was standing/leaning against the back of his car at a place we had agreed to meet at, he wore business attire which He wore so sexy, he was certainly easy on the eyes, I Immediately felt unworthy, I felt this beautiful man could not be here to meet me, but he was and I was falling all over myself. We talked to get to know one another, and time stood still.

 

Time after time he would call the numbers still are etched in my soul when they would show up on the caller Id, my heart raced, my palms would sweat. He had done something to me, we would make plans to meet, always at my place and I would get so excited, I would make sure to be home earlier to shower and prepare myself for THIS meet may be “the one” because every time we met there was ALOT of kissing and making out, and oh my when we kissed it lasted for hours,and well as ironic as it was HE would not “put out”. He never left me unsatisfied, the passion so strong so amazing so deep, however it seems I was on a “mission”.

 

Let me go back for a second and describe a kiss, a kiss I have written about, and he has written about, a kiss so deep, a kiss that awakened that ‘DREAM” I had kept inside of me, I saw inside of his soul, I saw him and I knew he could see me, I knew he he could see “ME”. That scared the shit out of me, why wouldn’t it, I had lived a very messed up life, I had a lot of skeletons in my closet and this fine specimen of a man had the key to the damn door! Let me explain how that feel for those of you who dont know,,,,Its like a serial killer who had a ton of “evidence” in his house and the police were knocking on the door,,,, That kiss made my heart do flips, made my stomach turn in excitement and fear combined. When he left that day I was glad he was gone but never wanted him to leave.

 

The visits became less and less and my “mission” was not complete,,,, and then i began to put together pieces like a puzzle in my mind. He had asked me not to call him as it was a business phone and he got “charged” for calls. He only ever contacted me during the day “business hours”, we only ever met during the day, and his e mails were mostly his writings, writings of sexual nature, fantasies he had in his head, stories of passion and lust and love at first I felt as if he had just copied and pasted them but later I knew they were his writings. I sat in a sinking feeling,,,, he MUST be married.

 

He called for a “visit” and what some would call a “booty call” but i wasn’t getting any “booty”, but THIS was the visit I was going to complete my “mission”, This man who had such a great impact on my soul, I knew was “shady” I know was lying, I had to put my DREAM, back inside of myself, lock it back up and just complete my mission,,,,,, always wondering WHY he would not go all of the way with me? Was i not good enough? Was I not sexy enough? Was I not worthy? Did he have a disease? Did he promise himself he would “play around” but never really go all of the way out of respect for his wife IF he had one? WHY???  What was the problem,,,, I asked him in an e mail, Are you HIV Positive? he laughed and said no im not, I have a clean bill of health,,, so the mission was reinstated,,,, and the visit came and through some really tough persuasion HE gave in to my “persuasion” and mission accomplished. When he was about to leave I looked into his eyes, something was different, something had changed in him, he left and I knew at that moment I would not be hearing back from him. I went on with my life so I thought, there were times I missed him, when the phone rang I would hope, I checked my e mail,, nothing, The only breakdown I had was one fall day,,September 26th 2005,

 

I had confronted him in e mail about his lies,days before, explaining to him what i saw,,, all the signs of a married man,,,,his response was another “fantasy” written out, he avoided my comments and my questions, he was exposed so divert my attention he “thought” he would grab my attention with another writing, I was livid, i was angry, I was hurt and I drove, I drove out to a place very special to me, a Big deck over a lake in a State park, a Deck my Grandpa and my Father had a part in building as a “Community service” project. I went out there often, and although it had been rebuilt a couple of times since then I still feel the craftsmanship my Grandfather put into everything he did. I got there, the wind was chilly, it was almost dark, I listened to the squirrels run around in the leaves, I saw a rabbit, I was a fish jump in the water and I began to cry, I began to scream out loud,,,, WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME? WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFERENT? WHY CANT I STOP FEELING YOU?? WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DID YOU COME INTO MY LIFE? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH HURT I DONT NEED YOURS!!! IF YOU CAN FEEL ME STOP LYING TO ME AND COME TO ME,,, EXPLAIN THIS FEELING I HAVE EXPLAIN WHY I CAN SEE INSIDE OF YOU!!!  COME BACK TO ME SO WE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT,,,,,  CAN YOU HEAR ME,,,,, I screamed until my throat hurt and I felt as if my tears would flood the lake, I watched as they hit the water down below and I felt as if I was fighting a losing battle, The Universe had played a very bad trick on me.

 

From that moment on everything with his was a game to me, I just knew he was different, the way he touched me, the way he spoke to me, they way he looked at me, the way we connected.

I had to let it go, I had to put this awakening feeling back inside of me, and I did, and i eventually went on with my life and I was right that was the last time I saw him, The time I was able to “complete mission”.The e mails got fewer and fewer. I did not need all that in my life, I met someone else and got engaged, and then out of nowhere a YEAR later a message,,,,A simple how are you doing message and then come everything flooding inside of me,,,HOWEVER  attached with those feelings were hurt and doubt, and A lot of doubt inside of me,,, wait if I can still have “these” kinds of feelings for someone else how could I marry someone? I was a mess inside and it was really all his fault!! Why did he come back into my life?

 

For months we met and talked and time stood still, but this was different as I was on a path of self destruction, it was me against everyone who had ever hurt me, and I grew into something just as bad as I felt he was, He was trying to stand in his truth, trying I say because he was not but I was getting answers, and I loved being in his presence It awakened me further, and the darkness got deeper as I knew he could see me so I had to find deeper places to hide it. I found out that my suspicions were warranted,he was married, however he had not lived with his wife for years, but had lived with someone else for nearly 9 years, so he had a wife AND a live in girlfriend, funny thing though he was still sleeping with his wife,and was lying to her and telling her he loved her and she had hung on for him all those years, all the while living another life with someone else,, and me well I was only one of MANY, he had on the side of his wife and live in girlfriend,in my eyes at that time he was a gorgeous, sexy, womanizing player! But I loved him, however so did many others, I found out he was sending them all the same “fantasies” all the same deep writings, all the ‘lines” only 1 thing was different,,, He would not be intimate with me in entirety. He was living out fantasy in each and every  woman he was with looking for different pieces of his puzzle, looking for something different in each one, he was looking for “himself”. He was hurting so many, and the big picture was the hurt he was doing to himself,,,

I watched him go through a change so deep, I watched as he confessed everything to me, I let him cry, I loved this man, I realized at this moment I was deep in love with him, but my mind would tell me over and over there was ALOT of women in love with this man! All I could do was be his friend, and go on with my life, so I was his friend and i stayed his friend as I watched him cry and confess and do it again to another woman and again to another one, and I watched as he witnessed me “feeling” his pain, I watched him and loved him as his wounds were deep, and his change was hard, he was lost. I knew I could never be with him really,,,Once a Cheater always a Cheater right??? We would confess our love for one another and we would in turn hurt one another.

 

I knew I could never really “be” with a man like this, I could never trust him, I cold never believe in him, again once a Cheater,,,,I married and it was a lie, I was not in love with him, I loved him, But I was not in love with him, I did it out of hurt,I just wanted to be loved and be the “only” one in someones life, and I knew I would have this from this man, I didn’t want to live a life of non trust, already we were connected though I could not deny that, however he would confess his love for me and the same night I could FEEL him with someone else. The Pain was hard to handle, it was unbearable, So perhaps marrying someone else was a way to throw that pain back at him, In turn I realize I was hurting a lot of people as well, I had become him, he just didn’t know it!

 

My Marriage was a mess, no wonder, I was in love with someone else and we communicated daily, We remained friends, as my marriage fell apart, In a night of hurt and to much alcohol I slept with my husband who I was already estranged from, and we conceived,,, I met with my friend and he is the one who told me i was pregnant he could see it in me. It was true, So I was living a lie with a man who I was about to have a child with, and he was still sleeping with others, still lying to his wife, and his live in girlfriend. At one point he had told me to just “come on” just come and be with him and he would raise my child as his own and we would just be in love,,, I thought about it over and over and after an argument with my husband I left and went to him, when i got to his home before I got to the door, I saw in the window and he was in an embrace with his girlfriend and they kissed, i never knocked i went him to my husband, it was what it was, we loved one another deeply but the hurt was to much, but I TRUSTED my husband and I needed that !

 

My friend and I barely spoke during my pregnancy we e mailed a bit and spoke on messenger a bit, but the communication was no where near as before,, He sent my son a gift in the mail and

we just remained friends,,,and just as fast as communication diminished it picked backup again, only this time it was a bit different he was different and I could see something about to happen, I wasn’t sure what. We met and we were “together” only this time beautiful and it was life changing and I knew he was someone I could never be without even if not physically, we were spiritually connected, we loved one another and it was evident.

 

 

We got closer and closer and I knew he was still lying and seeing others, this player was good, I had dealt with a “couple” of the women he hurt and they told me the same stories, “he said that to me too, yes he told me that too!”  uggg this man was toxic!!  and then,,,His mother was found very ill, and I watched him as he lost his mother, it was a very painful time for him, I just remained his friend, I went to the service, sat in the very back row, I just wanted him to know  I was there for him, I didn’t stick around, I left directly after. I saw him the next week and I saw something in him I had not seen before, It was different ! He cried to me, he broke down and the next few months were hell. i watched him die, I watched him split, I watched him fight and struggle, he was honest with his girlfriend who had since moved out, he actually told her he was deeply in love with me and he was direct.

 

He then went through something really really amazingly painful but so beautiful! He was honest with his wife and he started the process of divorce, my husband had long since moved out and finally just simply asked me “why aren’t you with him?” Did I mention my ex husband is a great man? SO we did it we made a go of it but did I trust him?? HELL NO!  when he stated he was in a meeting I requested a “picture” of this said meeting and he always accommodated and he understood!  What we had not addressed was the skeletons I had in my closet!  at this point he was standing COMPLETELY in his truth,he was COMPLETELY honest with HIMSELF and with me about every aspect of his past and his life.

 

We lived together until MY skeletons began to come out and why would he stay with me after all he had been though why would he stay with me he was honest with me he deserved my honesty and i never gave it to him, we separated and he forgave me and we reconnected and it happened again months later and again he forgave me and we reconnected and again, it happened again and he left me, this time for good, I saw it in him, he tried to connect with someone else as did I, I went through the same pain he went through I had to find myself, I had to fall in love with MYSELF, I had to go not my pain.

 

Now as we are both in our truth from this 9 year Journey,, we have been back out to that deck together numerous times, He proposed to me on that deck, standing in the very same place I was screaming for him at, tears fell from both of our eyes in the same water. I am in love with this amazing man and I get to spend the rest of my life with him, We share EVERYTHING we hide nothing from one another, we share a cell phone, we share emails, we share face books, we are together nearly always and when we are not, those very same butterflies I felt in 2005, i feel today when he calls from the store, when he sends me a message from Face book when im sitting right next to him.

 

I trust this man with everything i have in me, I trust him in every aspect! I trust he will never lie to me, I trust I am and always will be his one and only, I trust everything he Says to me. I believe in him, I believe in the Business we have created out of our story and out of what the universe has asked us to do, I believe in myself, I believe our running and chasing was a lesson and our experiences have already changed lives.

 

I sit in awe of this AMAZINGLY gorgeous man everyday of my life, I watch him walk and I smile I watch him type on the computer and I feel lucky, I watched him sleep just last night and I cried, He really is a genuine person, he’s gorgeous, he’s incredibly sexy, he’s honest, he’s true, he’s loving, he’s romantic, he’s passionate,hes kind, he’s generous, hes giving, he provides for us, he’s a wonderful father, he’s compassionate,and he loves me unconditionally and I love him unconditionally, I love him for what he’s been through, what we have been through, and the universe is now allowing us to teach from it.  The honeymoon stage is never ending, inside of me I still have those “forever” butterflies. The dream inside of me is awake and WE ARE LIVING IT! Relationship Reinvented was born from this connection.

 

The old Quote “Once a cheater always a cheater”  could be true, My cheater, CHEATED CHEATING do you understand that????,By going inside of the root of WHY he was choosing those actions, WHY he was hurting people. He went INSIDE, he in a sense took his own life,HE CHEATED CHEATING! and I have this wonderful man in my life, he is still a cheater, he cheated his pain out of staying alive, he cheated his story out of Defining him, He cheated everyone who knows him out of being able to say, “hes still the same old guy” “believe me he’s still lying and cheating”, anyone who knows him now and knows him then is no longer able to say that because they can see it in him! They can see by his actions and his energy that part of him no longer exists. He has cheated that quote out of being true!!   I was on that deck on September 26th or 2005 screaming for him,,,, and I will be back on that deck September 26th of this year Marrying this Cheater and I am the Luckiest Woman in the World!

I Love You Clark Kent

Love Lois

 

Help us with our Mission!

 

images

500 facebook likes before the end of the weekend, that is midnight sunday night eastern time!

 

https://www.facebook.com/pages/Relationship-Reinvented/129424107157833

or like our page right from this page!

How come, he can walk away easily?

Dear Clark,

I always wondered why a man can do a female wrong time after time & she will still be by his side. But when a female does ONE THING wrong the man leaves instantly.

father-son11

A mother CAN abandon their child, yet the child who’s father left the mother placed a hole in the child in the shape of a father, and now will duplicate this behavior without knowing how to communicate their emotional hurt in pain and change this cycle, it is why men can do this easily they are taught by this action alone without any level of pain or what caused the pain.  It would seem that when a child has this as a hole within them can point to what the expectation is to include the abandonment of both!

The suffering that this causes is the creation of why we are in a country were 24 million children are without a father.  Unless or until a man is willing to stand in their pain and accept this truth to share this pain as a way to end the suffering this will continue.  This is how they will heal this by accepting their truth and knowing their pain! You can’t fix this cycle without acceptance of the truth inside yourself let alone the pain that it gives you.

A fatherless daughter -This suffering also has it’s fuel, as a woman you will seek out a man who will abandon you easily, as this is what happened with your first experience with a man if you are a fatherless daughter whether daddy was in your life, yet absent emotionally, or all together physically not in your life you will seek this in a man that you will choose.  You will even compromise and even find men who are unavailable because you need to fill this hole inside of you as a father may or may not been in your life but didn’t express the energy you needed because they didn’t lack the communication you needed to heal this.  You had to tell yourself a lie about yourself to try and make sense of why this was missing.  The truth is you hurt, and you suffer in that hurt doing things in acceptance that are not love, but could in turn be an emotional clinging with no understanding why.  You will try and fix this in them, as a means to fix this in yourself.  You will find a man who will hurt you in this way without knowing this is the energy you are calling to, not seeing that you are in pain, and make a choice to stay in this pain.

This is why the attachment is different from a mans viewpoint.. A man will not see the emotional attachment as a woman will base this on how the man is or isn’t emotionally available… If his mother has always done nothing but protect him, and he never was able to speak about what his pain was regardless of his actions.  It isn’t that never did the man not trust his mother, he will seek out this in relationships.. someone who will continue with him to ignore this pain to create the same energy that a man has become accustomed to with his mother.  If she was always attacking him and punishing him without showing him how to heal from what pain causes these actions.  He will seek relationships similar to this as he makes the choice to be in relationships.  He will seek a woman who is ok with him not sharing his pain and accepting him regardless of his actions and lack of knowing how to communicate his heart that is hurt or that is of emotional energy.  This removal of being attached makes it probable that there is a hidden pain that will be found out by the woman.  In most if not all cases if a man is able to walk away and be unforgiving it is because it was done to him by his father or mother.. The ability to walk away from a relationship is taught by experiencing it with no reason.  If a man can do this they were abandoned by their father.  There was no explanation and no looking back.  The male child will now duplicate this behavior. This to the son who’s father leaves or is absent in their life will not know how to be understanding of those actions.

In most cases they will be in the relationship with only one foot out the door no matter the time line of the relationship. The cycle doesn’t end there, they will seek out like energy to include a relationship where the woman has children and the father is absent in the children’s lives.  This will turn into a challenging relationship as the man will take a full role in being as the children are cause of the energy feels the same.  It is the law of energy that is the truth not the thought process as it hasn’t become aware in this way.  How could it?  If this was seen as it was with energy wouldn’t it be up to both male and female to heal this one child at a time, to include the inner child they both have?

Love Deeply

Clark

My dear Past,

OUTATIME-carMy dear PAST,

I am writing you this letter so you can keep it close to you to understand why I am leaving you, you have given me second guesses, you have made life with others tolerable, and you have always given me the perfect reason to hide myself from others who didn’t deserve it!

I wanted to also inform you that because I will not be with you any longer I am going to accept the present moment more fully as my committed partner for existence here.  You always didn’t like the present moment and I get it, the present moment is a very sexy thing to try and compete with.  I know this will be hard for you and I hope that some day you will understand that it wasn’t you! IT WAS ME!

I just couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be repeatedly. It made me hard to understand, it gave me excuses to have pain that I would inflict on others. I just didn’t feel that was right of you to do that!  I had many affairs on you, I would sneak and meet someone and not hold their past against them and they wouldn’t hold my past against me (hell there were times you told me it was ok to keep it from others).  Then somehow, someway you would convince me to sleep with you again.  That wasn’t right. I did eventually leave them for you. Cause you were just to intoxicating for me to remove from myself.  I do want you to know I have released you from any alimony or child support. In other words you no longer have to pay for trips back down memory lane that will make me make a decision to endure your kind of pain. Cause my future will remain unknown to me.  Me and the present moment have spoken to this in great lengths. It is again not about you… IT IS ABOUT ME. I just realized it!  The present moment also said that I could not have any affairs with a little part of you or the future. So I know that this was a trying message to read.  But I thought I would leave a few things for you to realize going forward in the terms of the restraining order.

1) You are not allowed to come into my life to try and tell me what is going to happen, you must remain more than a mile away from me at all times.

2) Any lie you hear me tell myself about love, you are not allowed to come in and give it validity.

3) Anger, resentment, punishment, are mine to take in that moment as I take it, it will not build!  You have a restraining order PAY ATTENTION TO NUMBER 1 RULE!

4) You under no condition will try and tell me what love is or what it isn’t!  Your the past you can’t possible know what love is in this moment. Hence why I am leaving you for THE PRESENT MOMENT!

5) Don’t try to surface telling me I will be more protective and guarded of myself and my experiences that are in the present moment with you around. You aren’t psychic so stop claiming to be you have a catalog of history be a history teacher not a present moment connoisseur. I am not going to believe it to repeat it!

6) YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!  THE PRESENT MOMENT GAVE YOU YOUR TERMINATION PAPERS! READ IT AND GET TO STEPPING!

7) I believe I can fly without you, in other words you clipped my wings for long enough with your ability to tell me who I was with repeated memories of pain and more pain. My wings got weighted down with tar thanks to you.  NO MORE!

8) You are not allowed to use my mind against me. You can not find a way in manipulating things that i currently doing trying to show me all the different scenarios of what is to come based on results that were in the past.  Again this isn’t about you! It’s about ME!

9) You are not allowed to find a pathway into dreams, into day or night or other. It isn’t that I don’t love you completely I do in fact hence why I am letting you go completely.

10) Don’t take my love for granted, it will grow now because of your absence. It will realize there never had to be a limit and it will heal in your absorption of love I have inside me to make me the man she needs and wants. The present moment sends love your way, that you will find peace.

These are the guidelines for this divorce and I know you will have no choice to but to abide my wishes as it would show me how much you don’t love me by breaking these rules!

Wishing you luck finding another to pursue this with,

Clark Kent Esq.

Make 2014 Your year for Healing!!!

Healing series!

Blame it on the alcohol?

middle-aged-couple-drinking-wine-on-dateDear Lois and Clark,

Where I am now… confused, uncomfortable, and anxious.

LONG story short, my Parents were deeply wounded as children, and wounded me in-turn. I started in my own personal knowledge journey 8 years ago, and discovered I liked who I am. I realized I couldn’t change anyone other than me and set out to make my life the best I could without requiring anything of my family of origin to change.

4 years ago, I became aware that, by accepting the role I was born into with my family of origin, I was recreating their dysfunctional patterns for myself in my own life and set out to change them. I am understanding only now, that I had suppressed and disowned feelings and parts of myself that were “unacceptable” during my initial change work 8 years ago, and the “self” I had constructed then, while much closer to my authentic self than the one imposed upon me during my upbringing, remains false.

1 year ago, I stumbled upon the family secret about my Grandfather’s (25 years dead) alcoholism. I’ve been attending Al-anon regularly for the past 5 months to understand how my Mother’s living with alcoholism and never coping with or healing the effects, puts me in the position of requiring they be healed now. Finally, in Al-anon, I’ve found people who come from similarly dysfunctional families, and the environment in which healing is possible. I’m deeply grateful for the gift of Al-anon and working the steps currently.

My calling has also been blessedly revealed to me, and I am deeply enjoying my work as a Relationship Coach presently. Unfortunately, as I was hesitant to  accept the position and responsibility for so long, my finances became a disaster and I was left with no choice but to return to my Parents’ home, where I am now.

Again, grateful to be here, because it gives me the opportunity to learn how to detach from our co-dependence (which until Al-anon, I had never understood was the actual problem). However, living in their chaos is painful. 4 years of scraping by to survive financially, and all the mixed messages and suppressed emotions that are being revealed now leaves me DEEPLY CONFUSED. While I wouldn’t change a thing, I’m seriously tired and depleted from battling against scarcity, and unlearning my defenses that I’ve been using for 8 years against the defenses I had to develop as a child is confusing. I haven’t known what is real since I was about 2.

I would very much love your guidance now, as I feel strongly that YOU are the first person I’ve attracted into my life who is capable of providing for me the type of consistency, wisdom and mirroring I provide to my clients. My current working theory (please correct me if you disagree) is that I am where I am at this time because, being codependency tied to my family until now, my (inherited) distorted reality has produced negative attraction in my life. I have begun to reverse that polarity… however your assistance is appreciated and welcome as I continue getting the old dysfunctional thinking, behavior, emotional, and physical habits out of my system.

What do you think?

Friend

 

My friend,

That is some very enlightening discoveries you have found.  As for where you are at this moment it would be that a great void of suffering and illusion need to be called to the root.  Lets make this about energy and your interaction as an energy.  As WE both have found our truth it was about the things we endured to include the acts of alcoholism, drug abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse.  The choice that we were able to find was the core.  Here is what it came down to, as you inherit anything, you have a choice to keep it or give it all away.  In other words as you are in energy in this moment do you move away from the energy of go into it?  As you elect to go away from it, you now will start to direct a role to play to be something that gives you an identity as it were as a product of the energy you endured.  Running away, you can be in a thriving career or be in a long term relationship, all of which will still bring you back to what you moved away from why does this happen?  Because the root is still intact and not dived deeper into only the consequences of what the root caused.   The root is why did someone decide to choose alcohol? why did they choose to use drugs?  Why did they choose to be physically abusive?  Why do they choose to abuse someone emotionally.  This is the shaking off reaction that we see that all beings of energy have.

 

The only being of energy that holds this energy and doesn’t shake it off instantly is the human being.  The human being is a funnel of collective energy that will endure the experience of what was done and will vibrationally ring inside the being not showing them how to ring this out as you would see a dog do to remove surplus energy of a swan or any other being that has been disrupted by energy.

The remembering of what it was when you experienced real at the age of 2 will tell you this.  You fell down and scrapped your knee you didn’t make an identity of the pain until you were taught.  The two year old you, scraped the knee and got up and screamed or cried and then it became as you got older and fell questions were asked of you that created the identity to no longer get up and shake it off now it was bottle necked inside you to be something else because of the pain that was endured.  How do you remove such a thing?  You do so with going to the root of the pain and no longer seeking reasons.

 

So your grandfather was an alcoholic? what pain was he covering up? what was he not communicating that he wanted to be numb through?  Did it have anything to do with you? Did it have anything to do with his children?  Was his drinking nature something that his mother and father did that they were covering this up as well?  Even going back shaking this off of them, will not change the path of what you can shake off and embrace now inside yourself.  Embracing what you are as a being of truth in the light.

 

Example of this: Lois as a child would sit at age 9 and wait for her father to come pick her up along with her sister who was younger than her on Fridays.  Her father wouldn’t show up, as he was at a bar drinking and hanging with friends.  He would become completely drunk not realizing that his kids were waiting for him.  As they would finally get around their father they would smell the alcohol.  He loved his kids very much and his drinking wasn’t about them, but it was that they experienced the energy in abandonment because of what his root was which caused him to drink.  As they became older they were attracted to men who did these types of behaviors not even seeing it as a cycle of energy but rather a familiar stream of energy that was consumed in the root with these as the symptoms.  The fear of abandonment as they found abandonment needed to be hidden as to not know the reason why in relationships a man wouldn’t stay around or would become illusive they needed to experience the non communication as a familiar energy to experience what they felt could be unconditional love which was very much conditional.  Conditions are met in this way!  Do you see the dysfunction?  Do you see how just these moments caused the truth from eluding even the children who didn’t even know the root of why these things happened?  They didn’t because a part of them which wasn’t aware of the root, became the role that they experienced in the hidden truth of the energy they were all infected within.

 

The elections of codependency,  Is that the dependency is not the truth, the root or truth of the dependency can only be pointed to by the familiar energy you experience because of the root.  As a negative energy that has pain, what is the pain specifically? what are the dysfunctions of the energy as it relates to what outcomes happen?  Are you able to see the conditions, and embrace them unconditionally with or without reason?  This will point to the conditions you have on yourself, because of how you interact in those conditions as they arise.

 

All behaviors in energy that you produce have a cause and effect.  Mainly these are translated into thoughts that repeat and cause your behavior to exert the energy in cycle, which is embedded in thinking which to realize that knowing is how the cycle can be broken and healed.  Example: I am successful because I am a confident person in SOME WAYS…  This is a lie!   The truth is you are successful regardless of what you think, as your body is producing aliveness in being which is everything, it is in interaction to all energy whether it is positive or negative. No matter the negative or positive the choice to see the light is to see the truth in it and embrace it as a truth.

 

This is done in truth… as you are pointed to the truth without the distorted thinking that goes with it the forgiveness can be how the truth is embraced.

 

 

Love Deeply,

Lois & Clark