How we have kept pain alive and nurtured it…..

runningListen to my new episode Relationship Reinvented 2014 Healing Series F at http://tobtr.com/s/5926123. #BlogTalkRadio

 

How does pain stay alive in you? Who would you be without your pain?  What story does it serve you in purpose?

 

 

Love Deeply,

Lois and Clark

Parentless Abandon…

simbadadwakeupParentless Abandon…..

As we embrace the truth about abandonment we also realize that the most vital part of our journey happens when we are brought into the world. In this world we vest in our first true place of connection in the relationship we have with our biological parents. Of this we find that we truly never see how we find ways to abandon ourselves. Here is an example… As a child even at an early age we were taught not to touch things.. or use to much energy in this I was the wild child.. Placed on Ritalin. This was a drug that as a description was what I was given…

Methylphenidate is used as part of a treatment program (including psychological, educational, and social measures) to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – ADHD. It can help increase your ability to pay attention, stay focused on an activity, and control behavior problems. It may also help you to organize your tasks and improve listening skills. This medication is also used to treat a certain sleep disorder (narcolepsy). Methylphenidate is a mild stimulant that is thought to work by changing the amounts of certain natural substances in the brain.

They have since changed this to Adderal… which is the same but maybe less….

It reads as follows…
This medication may cause withdrawal reactions, especially if it has been used regularly for a long time or in high doses. In such cases, withdrawal symptoms (including severe tiredness, sleep problems, mental/mood changes such as depression) may occur if you suddenly stop using this medication. To prevent withdrawal reactions, your doctor may reduce your dose gradually.
Along with its benefits, this medication may rarely cause abnormal drug-seeking behavior (addiction). This risk may be increased if you have abused alcohol or drugs in the past. Take this medication exactly as prescribed to lessen the risk of addiction. Do not increase your dose or use this drug more often or for longer than prescribed. Properly stop this medication when so directed.
When this medication is used for a long time, it may not work as well. Talk with your doctor if this medication stops working well.

Now, I am no doctor, nor would I claim that this is purposeful to myself or any other human being, but I can state the obvious… When we become isolated and told we can’t focus, we become isolated, by being asked to be in control, and be controlled by others. What does this do to your sense of self if you don’t know how to communicate what is happening to the voice in the head that we are told to have… Remember getting in trouble and being told to think about your actions.. Yet, when you did what did to get into trouble, you clearly weren’t thinking at all… The outcome of this is that you now will think about the consequences and somewhere inside you is a seed that will be planted for how you view the outside world, and how you are treated within it.… Now if you would have asked me then, what I was feeling, and why I was constantly out of control! It wouldn’t have made sense, that I was out of control because I was always being controlled. This wasn’t a bad thing but when you are placed in this state of being… Here is what the result would look like. If I would have been asked why I was all over the place, I would have not been able to hear anything I was too busy being a ball of energy… Yet, for breakfast I had 2 bowls of Cap’n Crunch and 3 cups of hawaiian punch.. (yes a child running on pure sugar….) I played with all of my toys, and my brothers toys, and I just wanted to play… Heck I was only 5. Yet if I did something wrong threw a toy at my brother or broke the toy… It was a devastating truth that I was beat or smacked.. Now this will only translate into something that creates a behavior in me and a thought process that enabled the behavior…. Now I see this, as I didn’t feel loved, I felt hurt, Yet, what did I do that was the cause and effect of this? When we hurt, and can’t find our way to express the words that are impacting us, at such a young age.. We have to tell us something inside as a reason why those things happened… We scream, and cry, and then the whole I am running away words come to us to give us much needed protection or understanding… It was a way of defense, or a way of crying out… You see how this was? Just a way to use the mind for something that was already dark in nature with no true understanding of it other than it was taught from my parents parents from their parents.. We are all infected with this.. We become isolated in thinking about our actions and what those actions caused us in return…the beginning of a lie….

At about 8 years old was taken off Ritalin, and was way out of control.. to focus was hard because I was detoxing… and then I just felt lazy all the time.. I didn’t understand why I had no desire to play sports, to do things that were team oriented… at this point I had a lie in me that told me I was always going to disappoint people and I was unworthy of any type of privilege let alone to play with no abandon… Shortly there after my father stopped coming home to visit, but when he did, it was a full on report of all the bad things I did.. And he was the punisher, or the corrections officer of my choices, and of my doing things that were not with the rules….

I remember being stuck in a hallway at a desk facing the wall trying to do a math problem that I didn’t understand and was told I was stupid this was said repeatedly to me… and for hours I sat…. I relived and replayed this moment in my head, most of my life.. The feeling that happened to me in that moment and the thought process that was stricken inside me. I was forever abandoned by myself and my choices… I tried to be smart.. I tried to be logical.. Yet it would seem I would bore easily with simple task, or even complex task… I actually was pretty smart as I learned differently… I could learn by chaotic listening which is not normal by any stretch. Sitting at the table though… what I was saying inside myself was that I was worthless, I was unworthy of love, I was never going to amount to anything, I would never be able to take care of myself. I let everyone down… I was stupid, and the most powerful I wish I was never born… My parents would still be together if I was not those things mostly the last one…

The power of thinking is found in this and what it meant in my being… I no longer trusted my own choices or my actions or anything that my parents stated what they would say to me… I was on the lonely island of rebellion and survival is all it came down to.

I hurt… I was deeply wounded burying my root which was the truth… NO words would work… cause no one was listening, no one could hear me… What does this do to a child who is going to be in effect in this line of thinking for the next 30 years???
It will create lies in a life in reality that self worth was none… love was completely evasive and yet inside this child which was abandoned by the being that was growing was to be ignored. Everything was about the physical, everything was about the dream to protect to project and keep the box inside him hidden… It all was hidden in the box of what I told myself, no one else could feel.. No one else was hearing my thinking… Yet I could see the box in other people.. The place where they are lost, The dot on their heads that kept them from seeing how connected they were and the lies that are they holding onto that they created to keep themselves going. I was broken…SHATTERED inside the broken…

This was about the parentless existence I created it was about the parentless lie that I created to hide yet keep the pain… and to keep the pain alive through suffering. I always felt I was going to endure pain and that pain did find me almost every time. Every glimpse of true love I found.. love showed me true pain… If it wasn’t from something or someone outside me, it was always by something I did to create my own pain… I never realized I had given myself permission to suffer.. This permission was my own abandonment of myself.. When this became my truth the lies of what was my truth had to be gone into deeply to see this clearly…. It was abandonment, not from everyone outside me that tried to get me to see that they were not going to abandon me with love, but because I was already deep inside abandoning myself….

Abandonment is this… A lie that keeps us from our truth that we can’t abandon what we feel! Our mind can trap the emotion to give you the lie you need to abandon what you feel.. When you do this, you have silently given everyone else the energy to do what you have done to yourself! Abandon yourself….

Love Deeply,

Clark

Lois and Clark What am I missing???

fear-of-missing-out

We had a Question posted to us about our 10 month Series, as we wind down our first month.

 

Dear Lois and Clark:

 

I am Following your 10 month series, and have been reading your posts on Abandonment and Listening to the Radio shows, and am really looking forward to next months topic on pain and Junes Topic on Unconditional Love, I have seen the flyer and understand you offer a paid version, so what am I missing just looking from the outside in and following the “public” series.

 

Sincerely

Randal

 

 

Wow, Randall, what a great Question! and one we really have not answered until Now!

During our 10 month Series we are posting in our Public Forums, and Social Networks some of our Series Information! However for our Series Members we offer quite a bit more information and fun!!

 

We have a PRIVATE group our members are a part of and we have Very Enlightening and Active Discussion 24 hours a day!  Our Members also are a part of our Monthly Workshops, where they are given personal projects to do,homework if you will  lol  We gather in the private forum to discuss these projects, often times very eye opening! We play “games” we get to know each other and get personal (only if you like) and sometimes we tend to go over allotted time because there is someone experiencing a “breakthrough” all the while with plenty of support from their fellow members as well as Lois and Clark!

 

We also have 2 live Webinars a month, where we gather and discuss the topics at hand and our personal stories and journeys and struggles.  We guide and have fun and laugh as we teach the tools to break the cycles we find ourselves in! Breakthroughs in webinars are powerful as it is video and we get to see all of our members face to face and they get to see us!!!  Often times we are laughing as a group and crying as a group, its freeing and cleansing and healing!

 

Our members also get 4 personal telephone sessions with us! and wow we have found those incredibly healing!

 

Our members also get a Personal Skype or FaceTime visit with us one on one, Fun and amazingly healing as we go deep inside and get real personal!

 

 

Also Randal at the end of every month as our members complete their series they receive by mail a certificate of Completion from Relationship Reinvented for each month completed! and at the end of the Series they will receive a very special Award of Completion of the Entire Series!

and the Healing is the best part, imagine diving into each one of these topics, going deep within and Healing the cycles within ! It is a Healing Series!!!  I hope this helped! and we are here if you have any more questions!!

 

Lois and Clark (and I forget the Big Bonus,,,, meeting Lois and Clark 🙂  lol)

 

 

Healing series!

 

 

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Live! Internet Radio Show with Relationship Reinvented and Special Guest Eileen Bild! Topic: Abandonment and the factors of it in our Lives!

Listen Live and even join the conversation with your Questions and comments!!! And Chat Live with us in an open chat room as we do the show!!

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Healing series!

My dear Past,

OUTATIME-carMy dear PAST,

I am writing you this letter so you can keep it close to you to understand why I am leaving you, you have given me second guesses, you have made life with others tolerable, and you have always given me the perfect reason to hide myself from others who didn’t deserve it!

I wanted to also inform you that because I will not be with you any longer I am going to accept the present moment more fully as my committed partner for existence here.  You always didn’t like the present moment and I get it, the present moment is a very sexy thing to try and compete with.  I know this will be hard for you and I hope that some day you will understand that it wasn’t you! IT WAS ME!

I just couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be repeatedly. It made me hard to understand, it gave me excuses to have pain that I would inflict on others. I just didn’t feel that was right of you to do that!  I had many affairs on you, I would sneak and meet someone and not hold their past against them and they wouldn’t hold my past against me (hell there were times you told me it was ok to keep it from others).  Then somehow, someway you would convince me to sleep with you again.  That wasn’t right. I did eventually leave them for you. Cause you were just to intoxicating for me to remove from myself.  I do want you to know I have released you from any alimony or child support. In other words you no longer have to pay for trips back down memory lane that will make me make a decision to endure your kind of pain. Cause my future will remain unknown to me.  Me and the present moment have spoken to this in great lengths. It is again not about you… IT IS ABOUT ME. I just realized it!  The present moment also said that I could not have any affairs with a little part of you or the future. So I know that this was a trying message to read.  But I thought I would leave a few things for you to realize going forward in the terms of the restraining order.

1) You are not allowed to come into my life to try and tell me what is going to happen, you must remain more than a mile away from me at all times.

2) Any lie you hear me tell myself about love, you are not allowed to come in and give it validity.

3) Anger, resentment, punishment, are mine to take in that moment as I take it, it will not build!  You have a restraining order PAY ATTENTION TO NUMBER 1 RULE!

4) You under no condition will try and tell me what love is or what it isn’t!  Your the past you can’t possible know what love is in this moment. Hence why I am leaving you for THE PRESENT MOMENT!

5) Don’t try to surface telling me I will be more protective and guarded of myself and my experiences that are in the present moment with you around. You aren’t psychic so stop claiming to be you have a catalog of history be a history teacher not a present moment connoisseur. I am not going to believe it to repeat it!

6) YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!  THE PRESENT MOMENT GAVE YOU YOUR TERMINATION PAPERS! READ IT AND GET TO STEPPING!

7) I believe I can fly without you, in other words you clipped my wings for long enough with your ability to tell me who I was with repeated memories of pain and more pain. My wings got weighted down with tar thanks to you.  NO MORE!

8) You are not allowed to use my mind against me. You can not find a way in manipulating things that i currently doing trying to show me all the different scenarios of what is to come based on results that were in the past.  Again this isn’t about you! It’s about ME!

9) You are not allowed to find a pathway into dreams, into day or night or other. It isn’t that I don’t love you completely I do in fact hence why I am letting you go completely.

10) Don’t take my love for granted, it will grow now because of your absence. It will realize there never had to be a limit and it will heal in your absorption of love I have inside me to make me the man she needs and wants. The present moment sends love your way, that you will find peace.

These are the guidelines for this divorce and I know you will have no choice to but to abide my wishes as it would show me how much you don’t love me by breaking these rules!

Wishing you luck finding another to pursue this with,

Clark Kent Esq.

To abandon the self…. Abandonment series is coming Jan 2014

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The struggle of what comes to us when we are thinking we are not worthy, we are not enough, we are not being heard comes from a place inside that isn’t about the other person, events or what is actually our view point at the time but rather what we are not listening to inside of ourselves, We’d rather make this about the ignoring of what we are doing to what is inside that is being said that we become almost irritated, irate or feel betrayal of abandonment by the events, people or the silence we aren’t listening to as a  form of communication with this information lodged within!  We elect this as a way of thinking not truly even seeing we are emitting the energy of bringing more of what is going on outside of us rather that was is going inside of us.  The more the vibration of what we find irritates us inside resonates from what we are doing inside of us.

 

Here it is…  Let me give a scenario in which this becomes the truth and you make everything else a lie.   Gosh I need a break, I need to meditate more, I wish I could do this for myself.  As this energy is placed on a back burner, we don’t see the energy of making ourselves secondary and then when we don’t get it from ourselves we end up blowing up at those that do the same, not because we see us doing it to ourselves but because we don’t see the energy we created for those close to us to do the same that we already do to ourselves.  This false sense of being is the lie, the truth is we again found a way to make what we give ourselves secondary to ourselves and then become enraged, sad, alone, because we don’t do so for ourselves thus the energy polarity will never be as strong as to what we say we give to everyone else in priority. (This gives new meaning to how deep you can give to another does it not?)

 

We are the root of the energy that surrounds us, to change this you have to dive into your own energy and give yourself this first.  This is what is meant by you can’t give someone what you don’t give yourself.  Do you see the dysfunction in what you seek outside you, is never going to be the energy that will elude you, not because you see this as it is happening as a cycle, but because you created the energy to give abandonment energy to yourself making others see this same energy without their knowing to give you more of the same of what you do to yourself.

 

Your true joy in radiant being is found in what you give to yourself and what you can share after doing so with another.  This energy is fully present in all things it’s not seen as this way of translating but can you imagine if it was?

 

Love this about you, as this is where the food for the ego becomes dangerous. It has this about what you are doing to yourself, and now will give you permission to have self pity, where self pity is the over lying blanket to the truth of what this really is.  Love is what you are in this moment and love in this moment is what can embrace you through this to give you this truth of love you are inside of any and all streams of energy you create without knowing!   In knowing you are more beyond this, it is the energy itself that has no sense of self your knowing is that self!

 

Here is one more example,  when asked when was the last time you placed your hand over your heart to sync with yourself and give yourself the attention in love you can give yourself, and you say I keep meaning to, isn’t this the same thing you are complaining about that others won’t give you?  Do you see the writing on the wall as it pertains to energy?  You give the silent permission to make yourself secondary not seeing that the energy is silent and still will be something others will hear and do to you as you do to yourself, even if you don’t think they can!

 

Do you feel what is left here in what has been shared?  Do you see how this when truly felt in what it is can give a love greater in knowing then thinking.  Just be my friend!

 

Love Deeply not just to those who surround you but to yourself which will be a much greater love that they will experience from you!

With Love,

Lois and Clark

 

 

 

Make 2014 Your year for Healing!!!

Healing series!

Are you Single and Looking for “The One”?

Are you Ready to Give up your search? Tired of finding many fish that need thrown back? Tired of waiting for the call the next day after a date that never comes? Are you wondering what is wrong with you? Do you feel your “LOVE” ship has already sailed? Its getting cold, are you wishing you could have someone to snuggle with? Do you have someone who won’t commit? What the heck is going on??? Lets Fix This!!!

Does this sound like you??

We have an upcoming Webinar Sunday Evening(Nov 17th) we only have 24 openings left!  You will need Audio and Video capability,,,,, The Webinar for 1 hr is only $50.00    e mail us or message us for details! first-date

Hands

healing_hands-300x223Hands

My dream last night was simple, I went on a journey inside of my hands, I was able to feel what my hands felt, it was a journey Ill not forget. I woke up and Clark got up and I called him back over just so I could  touch him, wrapped my arms around him and let my hands feel his skin. The texture of his skin is so soft and warm. I then had a few moments to myself and went off into a quick meditation when I came out I looked at my hands.

My hands held my parents hands as a child, they held my ears when i heard the arguing and the hitting, they covered my eyes, they wrote my name for the first time and they haven’t stopped lol.  My hands held my children , changed their diapers,soothed their fevered foreheads, my hands cook dinner for my family, set the table for family dinners, they have tucked many gifts from the tooth fairy under pillows, they have wrapped many presents, they have zipped backpacks, they have hit in protection. They have raised to cover for protection, They fold in prayer, they open in meditation,they have pet precious family pets, they have painted walls, cleaned carpets, washed dishes, they have planted flowers, they have planted vegetables and fruit, they have held the cold hands of loved ones who have passed, The have written letters form my heart onto paper.

My hands hold Clarks, they go through his hair, touch his skin. They are scarred, they are sometimes tired, however they still have so much to do, they have grandchildren to hold, they have flowers to hold, they have words to type, just as they have typed these, They have medicine to give, They are medicine, They are healers, They are lovers, They are friends….Take a look at your hands, appreciate them for what they have done for you, use them wisely in everything they WILL do for you.

What have you have already touched in your life? What will you touch now?

Lois