Healing Series May: Fear as an addiction!

first-stepfear
We all reach a place where we wonder will everything turn out alright, will this all be a mistake if I choose to go this direction. What if I become something I don’t want to be. The truth about fear is, it is paralyzing and keeps you from the moment where everything is as it is. I remember the fear I had when I started writing all those years ago, not sure if what I was even writing made sense, or even what I was saying, did it truly touch anyone? I know what I felt inside and it was trying to make me see a past or future where the thought process was only going to give me one failed result. Failure!

It wasn’t until I stopped writing, for what I dreamed, and started writing from what I could feel. I had to make sense of it somehow. I guess it was my true source of healing. Yet what was left was the fear. It always seems that when I say or write anything I feel a sadness lurk about inside that says no one gets it, no one understands. Yet here I am doing this same ole thing again. Wondering if I made the right choice, or am I doing the right thing.

I had so much to heal then, as I still do now, I found out the truth about healing, it can creep up on moments we are in fear or when we just don’t know why we are even speaking anymore. Anticipation of what is to come of what has been left here for family, friends, stumblers and the like. I only know that one day it will be gone into and something more powerful will arise from the fear that enabled me to stand there in silence but found a way to write it here for others to see they are not alone.

The fear of someone thinking your are crazy, that you have lost your marbles. This judgement that we do to ourselves always gives our fear it’s greatest strength. It blocks us in the midnight hour keeping us awake to play mental movies of the pain we see coming our way not even seeing the pain is there with us in that moment.

The energy of fear is strong enough to help us keep the lies we tell ourselves inside alive. The alive creates a persona we keep and find a distinct role in playing this out. Keeping our love hidden inside, fighting our hidden screams in terror knowing that we can’t find all the missing pieces of the puzzle to find out what this all means. We never put ourselves in the puzzle we are not seeing the edges of how we fit into the puzzle so we don’t put ourselves in it.

When she kept convincing me to speak from this ancient soul of mine, I had a ton of fear! Actually still do, for I can always feel no one is listening but they can feel me and what I am saying. They have this space inside to. The one the fear stays in control of and keeps the ego running or chasing it’s tail not seeing why when they go a different direction that darned tail keeps getting away from them.

Fear has a lot to do with acceptance, what we can’t accept we fear, what we do accept well there is a certain amount of fear with it to. Something that seems on the inside we will suffer from in any form of acceptance.

For years and years I ran from myself for I had to much fear to face myself, to see myself as everyone else did. I was by far the worse fear happening to myself. My choices, my challenges. Yet it also seemed that after I became more aware of energy the fear was then utilized to look even deeper to myself that ever before. Fear is what showed me that what I couldn’t love about myself I couldn’t let others love about me. This was mind blowing but also very real. I realized I was only going to be as strong as my own fear. That fear was mine to do something with or I was going to lose what mattered most at that time. Myself!

The truth about fear is that it doesn’t have any real truth. Nothing tangible anyway just a thought process that calls to self annihilation.

Next time you feel fear ask it what it wants from you, if it tries to take you from the present moment realize that it is only the illusion of pain that you already have somewhere inside and hold yourself through it. Never let it tell you what others think, never let it tell you that you are not love, and mostly never let it keep you in a cycle of thought to make you lose what matters most! The deep love you have for yourself.

Remember fear is love inside of it, it makes you feel the threat of love being taken away somehow. It just isn’t true you can’t take away something you are! You are love dear soul!

Love deeply,

Clark

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Healing series 2014 May: the fear be with you!

What is fear?

fear
At some point in our lives we all experience it. Our heart beats faster; we find it hard to breathe; the muscles in our body tense; our brain seems to shut everything else out and the focus shifts to the terror that has changed us emotionally and physically. We are experiencing fear.
So why does fear exist and do we have power over it? Fear according to researchers evolved in all animal species as a defense mechanism. It is a way for the brain to change the body chemistry so that future dangerous situations will create a stimulus, serving as an early warning system. This gives us an ability to determine a course of action that will increase our chance of survival. The chemical response in some cases is so strong it can cause physical and emotional paralysis and impede us from helping ourselves! When that paralysis is not experienced, the body then faces the fight or flight response in defense.
Some fear is healthy, being afraid of bodily harm from a potential attacker for example. Some fear is destructive and damaging, like feeling we cannot be honest with our partners for fear of judgment or ridicule. When we feel fear we need to remember that it’s a call to action. Unlike other animals we are able to choose how we respond to those feelings of dread.
In 3rd grade I was bullied and picked on by bigger kids, and my instinct was to fight. Eventually I was expelled from school and my father began spanking me with a belt as punishment. This punishment taught me to fear his spanking more than the bullies’ beatings. For the rest of my youth I backed down from every altercation. I did nothing to defend myself from the beatings of my peers; allowing them to label me a coward and hopefully leave me alone. I grew up in a very tough area so I got beat a lot. Today I am 44 years old and I have no memory of the physical pain I endured from those beatings, but the pain of not defending myself, of feeling like a coward–that pain lived inside me for so long that I can still feel the shame today if I allow it. When I was 18 I no longer had to fear my father’s punishments for defending myself and I began to stand up for myself again. This did not stop me from getting bullied on occasion, but interestingly enough I don’t remember an ounce of the physical pain; all my mind can recall is the humiliation of a loss, that helpless feeling of not being able to defend myself, that fear that someone else had gotten the better of me.
As I got older I began to read self-help books and to study why I and others thought and acted the way we did. In one of the books I was reading I came across one of the most profound thoughts ever, an acronym that defined what fear really was. The acronym was False Evidence Appearing Real. When I read that it instantly spoke to me. Whether an aggressively intimidating person, an inescapable, unpleasant situation, or a dreaded decision needing to be made, the feeling in all these situations was the same: fear. I finally realized that no matter what the evidence was I was selecting the meaning of it and assuming the worst case scenario. It reminded me of when I was little and I lied to stop my dad from spanking me. The reality was that I lied out of fear; but my punishment never turned out to be as bad as I had assumed it would.
This realization gave me one of the most effective tools for change and success in my life, I understood that only I could determine what had power over me, only I could assume what the consequences where going to be, only I could determine if fear would empower me to act in my defense or paralyze and control me.
Fear is real and it can be a healthy emotion, but do yourself a favor and remember that it’s only a call to action. Your choice is Fight or flight, and sometimes flight is necessary, but too often flight is chosen as the easy way out. As a former coward I can attest that it is easier to run away than it is to stand and fight for yourself. I can say with authority that just because you successfully ran away from your fear, you have not escaped it. Often times the long term damage you will cause by not standing up for yourself, your ideals, the truth, will be very difficult to heal from, because you will know that the fear conquered you.
Today you can make the decision that fear won’t stop you from telling the truth; it won’t stop you expressing your love for someone; and it can’t prevent you from standing up for yourself. Today if you’re feeling fear answer that call to action, and let fear know you’re back in charge of your life.

 

 

J.Austin.Ward
Email: j.austin.ward@gmail.com
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Personal-Empowerment-And-Relationship-Coaching-PEAR/749287711768150

Take a listen this was powerful as Josh and Lee discuss truth and how it is with fear!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/05/05/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series

Do you Trust YOURSELF???

 

 

trustClick on the link below to listen in to our latest radio show, Wrapping up februaries pain/suffering series and Beginning Marches Trust Series,,,,great callers, great show!!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/03/03/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series-marchtrust

Before you Attack your Partner Look inside yourself!

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Doesn’t it seem like when you lay down to go to sleep IF you have mind noise that mind noise continues inside of you one way or another into the next day which is supposed to be NEW! Usually I can shut my mind off and count my breaths or listen to my heartbeat whatever way I can usually shut my mind down and fall asleep and journey into someplace the Universe needs me to be. I remember the last “ thought” I had before falling into sleep. “why do I have to breathe in these toxic fumes, I dont smoke, I never have”  and then it began  the journey inside of myself. i have been soulfully conscious of what I put in my body.

 

I say soulfully because I had to soul train my mind because my mind LOVES Cake,  Chocolate Cake, White CAKE well any kind of Cake… CAKE IS DAMN GOOD,,, JUST SAYING.

 

So I had to tell my mind yes mind, your right cake is good,,, but eating the entire cake is not good, you will be permitted to have cake just not the whole damn thing lol. my last Doctors visit was a real pooper, The fact is I am overweight, I feel great because my Soul is Clean, I stand in  my truth at all times, I have nothing hidden, all my dark secrets are out my twin KNOWS who I am, what i stand for he knows all of my truths even the really ugly ones.I realized a long time ago why I carried extra weight, it was for protection, mind noise that no one would want me or try to abuse me as well as physical protection from my secrets, they were buried deep inside of me,,,,All is out now and I simply dont need this protection. Nor do I want IT!

 

This is all just extra I dont need, So I have vowed to get rid of it, and I am, however over the past couple of days I have went over in calories and have not moved as much as I would like so have felt discouraged, and when I get discouraged I like to blame others for my discouragement its just easier that way lol

 

So I noticed everything everyone else was doing wrong, when in reality it was my own self I was disappointed in, I went to bed last night discouraged with ME, I dont enjoy the toxic smoke from cigarettes i am a non smoker however my Twin enjoys it and I love him unconditionally and he’s not a regular smoker he smokes very infrequently, HOWEVER I find that when I dont take as good of care of my self he tends to smoke more,,, sometimes this connection goes so much deeper than the human mind can imagine.

I hurt my body the past two days but not continuing the cycle of “physical healing”. He is Physically ill, I am feeling his pain, he is having some kidney issues and I woke up this morning in pain and I WAS PISSED!  (I suppose it the same type of pissed he feels when he experiences my menstral cramps :).

 

My journey took me inside of me, why I was disappointed in ME, what I had done to get off track, what I could have done different and why I didn’t. There was no blame on anyone else it was ME. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, I want that for me, for my kids and for my Twin because I Know he feels it, I want the energy that comes with being healthy, I am on the mission to get it.

 

My mind wanted to blame everyone else for my failures, when in fact I haven’t failed at all, I am still making drastic changes I am still on track when I fall off and consume to many calories thats my fault not anyone else’s. It has nothing and EVERYTHING to do with my twin, does that make sense? It has nothing and everything to do with him. It has everything to do with me, and my mindset and how I see things, It has everything to do with my control of me and how I treat my own body, when I heal so does he, when he heals so do I, When we fall apart physically we have to heal together. When I eat badly he smokes more, when he smokes more I eat badly.

 

To Heal this I have to go inside myself and find out what it is I am doing to not heal. So I wake up from that message filled Journey and I feel refreshed, ready to start a new day, my son woke me up at 8 am, I felt pain in my back, I was happy to take some of my twins pain, I was ready to get up and  begin a brand new healthier day, when I sat with my son and the smoke consumed me.

 

I tried to shut my mind down, I tried to not say anything, I hate smoke I always have, I vowed to never be with a smoker and I never was, I would not even date a smoker, so how ironic is the Universe my twin is a smoker, I love him unconditionally and that means loving him and his habit. I never want to Judge and I dont, I never have looked at him differently because he’s a smoker. I love him and if that means loving him while he smokes I do, and I always will.

I usually dont really notice him smoking because he smokes so rarely however the past couple of days its been more frequent.

So I got up without saying anything and just went back to the bed to lie down and fell back asleep for a while,,, and yet another dream Journey,,,What I do effects him, he has been smoking more frequent because I have been not taking care of myself more frequently. I remember a conversation I had with my mind, he has stated he was going to quit I know 20 times.

 

however I have stated i am going to get get healthy 100 times, to no avail, However this time I took a soul vowel and i am on mission,,,

 

He knows we are Twins and what he does effects me so why would he do that to us?

well I also know we are Twins and he’s feeling me unhealthy why would I overeat?

 

Well If he’s going to sabotage us , so am I

so You will be double unhealthy great plan!

 

 

I know without doubt when I get healthy he will no longer have the urge to smoke, its how twins work. We get healthy together. Today is a new day my mind is shut off, my ego is not allowed to have a say so in this. I will no longer attack my partner for what he is doing! I will no longer blame him for me being unhealthy!

 

When I fall off the wagon this is no ones issue but mine, I will no longer blame anyone else, I will no longer look for anyone else’s faults, I will go inside and find what it is I am doing to cause this behavior, It all begins within me, the destruction or the healing, I choose healing!

Love Lois

How to heal pain in truth! Feb Healing series Pain and Suffering..

bruce lee teacherHow is pain healed in truth?

 

The post and radio show is dedicated to Ego (your mind)…

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/02/17/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series-f

 

 

If you live in worry, doubt, afraid, or judge other people or feel judged, it tells you that you are attacked by being yourself or attack others from this same very place, or afraid to trust others, don’t trust yourself, always need proof of whatever it may be, only believes only when it is convenient for the sense of self, fails to follow up, refuses to practice what it preaches, needs to be rescued, wants to be the victim, beats up on the self, needs to be right all the time, continues to hold onto what doesn’t work. Then the root of the ego doesn’t want you to know this but it is all a lie, how else do you break free from lies that are keeping the pain hostage? The ego is the place that lies are created as the mind reader of what other peoples thinking keeps in front of you where in truth no one told you any of it!

 

How many times do we fear to tell the truth in fear of the trouble it will bring? Do you see the core error of what pain is in truth!  This is what the ego does to ensure the pain will stay in place as fuel for the beginning statements that create all lies of the self!

 

 

How pain is the fuel for the ego to keep the pain alive!   Pain interpreted by ego started long before you knew what thinking was in truth, and in this truth the ego took this as a means to be yourself in a self that was going to be convinced of it’s power to keep you as both entities incarcerated as the warden and inmate of yourself keeping you from your soul.

 

 

This prohibits the truth about the light you are in truth. You are this truth of the light you are in all things, to include the darkness that keeps you from your true essence.  You know this inside yet your sense of self derives from the ego to keep you protected.  Protected from what exactly?

 

What needs to be protected? What is it that you are protecting and why? Then the how’s will be found out, then the what’s will be found out, then the where is pointed to inside you to state this as a place that we needed this to begin with.

 

Pain is a great teacher of the truth, the truth that you are not alone, never alone, but the ego will make sure you know this is a not a truth, and it starts with what is going on outside you as the ego will make sure you see this outside! Never inside you!

 

Do you see the core in truth in this, or do you see the darkness and still try to translate what that darkness is from the ego that will make sure a lie comes to you instead!

 

Pain is a great awakener!  In the pit of your stomach it tells you to not go down the dark alley yet the mind says it doesn’t look all that dark.. Then you step on nails the whole way down the alley and then your thinking says I told you so, and the pain in your stomach says nothing, it just hurts cause all the receptors in your feet are taking on the pain.  Get it?  This is vibrational to the core of light you are, never do you follow your feelings in the pit of your stomach and have been drawn to things in ego cause they will harm you cause you didn’t listen to your sense of self.

 

What do you do when you are seeking answers you try and translate the reasons you give yourself about anything in the mind, and when you come across what you don’t do you do it anyway because the ego says it will be one way or multiple ways.  Which gives you the truth the feeling of what comes from your stomach or the thinking your ego has?  When you stop telling lies for example the ego will step in and give you fear from the pain it is using to make sure the truth can’t set you free. It will make this powerful so you don’t even see the truth in the outcome for yourself!   Who is this useful for? Who taught this to you? Who gave you permission to follow this inside yourself?  Was it your sense of self that was derived from ego?

 

How do you heal your pain in your mind when the pain doesn’t originate from the material the mind made it out to be?

 

 

Love deeply,

 

Lois and Clark

 

Todays show

 

Special thanks to

 

Sheri from

http://theothersideofugly.com

 

Eileen from

 

http://eileenbild.com

 

We are we are listening Dear Soul~

 

 

Pain….

Pain….

pain

 

What is pain… it is a call to something within you that is either causing you to feel to cause mental or physical distress or discomfort.   Illness or injury….

 

 

When we are in pain we don’t treat it like an illness or injury we instead endure it as a means to suffer.  We speak to numerous beings who are in pain and then deny their pain as a way to keep it around, this need to keep the pain is something we all think we need to have to keep us from more pain not seeing that this in itself is giving us that pain.

 

Here is where we are inside that we are responsible for pain…  Ever burned yourself before? What did you do? Did you shake your hand and the pain lessened somehow?  Or what about just kept going on with what you were doing?  Yet, the pain seemingly got less over time!  Did you take care of it, by getting ice, or washing it off, and putting ointment on it.  This teaching has been around for ages and yet it seems we continue to do this when the pain is mental to!  We didn’t see that we are caring for our pain and thus allowing it to keep us in the pain itself.  The art of suffering!  When we are scared from pain physically it stays as a reminder to show us what we endured.. We keep the story as a part of us, we do this in mental pain as well!

 

What does this do to you when you are sad, it ignites the pain you see how this is the scar effect we create a story of what we endured… the scare can’t be seen but we see it and make it a part of us..  Pain in this light has a different meaning as we tell our story we also relive it.  Who is this for?  What does it give us in truth?  It gives us a random painful view of life as we live it to endure this as we do anything else.  We even keep it as a part of expectation.  I just want someone who will not hurt me is the same as saying I will find someone who will hurt me..  the hurt keyword is activated in what you will find from just stating the obvious.  What about I want pure love?  You see it is a completely different thing that we are asking for.  It hurts doesn’t it?  Why does it hurt and why does it seem we make this choice to find the words to keep those same things from happening to us. Which in essence is bringing that to you!

 

When you hurt from inside your tears flow, not from the pain mind you.. but from the release of a pain that is deep within you.  These tears should be more of what the rain does when it washes away our pain… not contain it or save it for a later time.  When we discover the truth about our pain we are released from it.  This birth in process gives us much to love inside as we create space for that love to grow.  Expansion is not seen in love in this way, not because we make it a choice but because we don’t make this choice available to us.

 

Throughout this month we will discover where pain originates from and what it wants us to birth from it.  This truth is one of the hardest to stay within because who would we be without pain?

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/02/03/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series-february-painsuffering

 

Love deeply,

Lois and Clark

Lois and Clark What am I missing???

fear-of-missing-out

We had a Question posted to us about our 10 month Series, as we wind down our first month.

 

Dear Lois and Clark:

 

I am Following your 10 month series, and have been reading your posts on Abandonment and Listening to the Radio shows, and am really looking forward to next months topic on pain and Junes Topic on Unconditional Love, I have seen the flyer and understand you offer a paid version, so what am I missing just looking from the outside in and following the “public” series.

 

Sincerely

Randal

 

 

Wow, Randall, what a great Question! and one we really have not answered until Now!

During our 10 month Series we are posting in our Public Forums, and Social Networks some of our Series Information! However for our Series Members we offer quite a bit more information and fun!!

 

We have a PRIVATE group our members are a part of and we have Very Enlightening and Active Discussion 24 hours a day!  Our Members also are a part of our Monthly Workshops, where they are given personal projects to do,homework if you will  lol  We gather in the private forum to discuss these projects, often times very eye opening! We play “games” we get to know each other and get personal (only if you like) and sometimes we tend to go over allotted time because there is someone experiencing a “breakthrough” all the while with plenty of support from their fellow members as well as Lois and Clark!

 

We also have 2 live Webinars a month, where we gather and discuss the topics at hand and our personal stories and journeys and struggles.  We guide and have fun and laugh as we teach the tools to break the cycles we find ourselves in! Breakthroughs in webinars are powerful as it is video and we get to see all of our members face to face and they get to see us!!!  Often times we are laughing as a group and crying as a group, its freeing and cleansing and healing!

 

Our members also get 4 personal telephone sessions with us! and wow we have found those incredibly healing!

 

Our members also get a Personal Skype or FaceTime visit with us one on one, Fun and amazingly healing as we go deep inside and get real personal!

 

 

Also Randal at the end of every month as our members complete their series they receive by mail a certificate of Completion from Relationship Reinvented for each month completed! and at the end of the Series they will receive a very special Award of Completion of the Entire Series!

and the Healing is the best part, imagine diving into each one of these topics, going deep within and Healing the cycles within ! It is a Healing Series!!!  I hope this helped! and we are here if you have any more questions!!

 

Lois and Clark (and I forget the Big Bonus,,,, meeting Lois and Clark 🙂  lol)

 

 

Healing series!