What every man should know….. Things to know about a woman!

forever-140x200

Things to know about women!

When she stare’s at your mouth!

[Kiss her!]

When she pushes you or hit’s you!

[Grab her and dont let go!]

When she start’s cursing at you!

[Kiss her and tell her you love her!]

When she’s quiet!

[Ask her whats wrong!]

When she ignore’s you!

[Give her your attention!]

When she pull’s away!

[Pull her back!]

When you see her at her worst!

[Tell her she’s beautiful!]

When you see her start crying!

[Just hold her and dont say a word!]

When you see her walking!

[Sneak up and hug her waist from behind!]

When she’s scared!

[Protect her!]

When she lay’s her head on your shoulder

[Tilt her head up and kiss her!]

the-kiss-140x200

When she steal’s your favorite shirt!

[Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night!]

When she tease’s you!

[Tease her back and make her laugh!]

And when she is ornery!

[Hold her down and blow razz-berries on her belly!]

When she doesn’t answer for a long time!

[Reassure her that everything is okay!]

When she look’s at you with doubt!

[Back yourself up!]

When she say’s that she like’s you!

[She really does more than you could understand!]

When she grab’s at your hands!

[Hold her’s and play with her fingers!]

When she bump’s into you!

[Bump into her back and make her laugh!]

When she tell’s you a secret!

[Keep it safe and untold!]

When she looks at you in your eyes!

[Don’t look away until she does!]

When she misses you!

[She’s hurting inside!]

When you break her heart!

[The pain never really goes away!]

When she’s mad!

[Hug her tight and don’t let go!]

Call her at 12:00am!

[On her birthday to tell her you love her!]

Treat her!

[Like she’s all that matters to you!]

Stay up all night with her!

[When she’s sick!]

Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show!

[Even if you think its stupid!]

Give her!

[The world!]

Let her!

[Wear your clothes!]

Let her know!

[She’s important!]

Kiss her!

[In the pouring rain!]

When she runs up at you crying!

[The first thing you say is; “Who’s ass am I kicking today baby?”  and just hold her!]

passion-140x200

The how….

Quote:The most important, the primordial relationship in your life is your

relationship with the Now, or rather with whatever form the Now takes, that is to say, what is or what happens. If your relationship with the Now is dysfunctional, that dysfunction will be reflected in every relationship and every situation you encounter. The ego could be defined simply in this way: a dysfunctional relationship with the present moment. It is at this moment that you can decide what kind of relationship you want to have with the present moment.

The decision to make the present moment into your friend is the end of the ego. The ego can never be in alignment with the present moment, which is to say, aligned with life, since its very nature compels it to ignore, resist, or devalue the Now. Time is what the ego lives on.

The stronger the ego, the more time takes over your life. Almost every thought you think is then concerned with past or future, and you sense of self depends on the past for your identity and on the future for its fulfillment. Fear, anxiety, expectation, regret, guilt, anger are the dysfunctions of the time bound state of consciousness.

There are three ways in which the ego will treat the present moment: as a means to and end, as an obstacle, or as an enemy. Let us look at them in turn, so that when this pattern operates in you, you can recognize it and decide again.  E. Tolle The New Earth 2005!

What is stated here is simple, when you make a relationship out of time you will not be successful in seeing these things in her and she will need and want you to!  Thank you for reading, and love to you in this moment!

CK

Advertisements

Im Marrying a Cheater!!!

 

lipstick-on-collar-378x333

 

 

As a Child I dreamed of this Connection, a love no other seemed to believe in, I would daydream about a connection so deep that you could feel physical manifestations of the other person, I dreamed and dreamed and when I spoke of this great love i was shot down,”your living in a fantasy world”. “there is no such thing, its only in dreams”. So thats where I kept it, in my dreams,,,,,, I married for 13 years, it was a “normal” marriage, I divorced dated, and then 2 years of self discovery ended me up in a new city with a brand new start and a fresh outlook on life, and then,,,,,, it all started.

 

I met him, when I saw him, my heart knew something was different, my soul awakened, my eyes were gazing upon the most beautiful man I have ever seen. We spoke and his voice consumed me, his written words were poetry to my ears. The first time my eyes saw him My heart stopped beating for seconds, I could not breathe, Ill nervier forget the fist sight, he was standing/leaning against the back of his car at a place we had agreed to meet at, he wore business attire which He wore so sexy, he was certainly easy on the eyes, I Immediately felt unworthy, I felt this beautiful man could not be here to meet me, but he was and I was falling all over myself. We talked to get to know one another, and time stood still.

 

Time after time he would call the numbers still are etched in my soul when they would show up on the caller Id, my heart raced, my palms would sweat. He had done something to me, we would make plans to meet, always at my place and I would get so excited, I would make sure to be home earlier to shower and prepare myself for THIS meet may be “the one” because every time we met there was ALOT of kissing and making out, and oh my when we kissed it lasted for hours,and well as ironic as it was HE would not “put out”. He never left me unsatisfied, the passion so strong so amazing so deep, however it seems I was on a “mission”.

 

Let me go back for a second and describe a kiss, a kiss I have written about, and he has written about, a kiss so deep, a kiss that awakened that ‘DREAM” I had kept inside of me, I saw inside of his soul, I saw him and I knew he could see me, I knew he he could see “ME”. That scared the shit out of me, why wouldn’t it, I had lived a very messed up life, I had a lot of skeletons in my closet and this fine specimen of a man had the key to the damn door! Let me explain how that feel for those of you who dont know,,,,Its like a serial killer who had a ton of “evidence” in his house and the police were knocking on the door,,,, That kiss made my heart do flips, made my stomach turn in excitement and fear combined. When he left that day I was glad he was gone but never wanted him to leave.

 

The visits became less and less and my “mission” was not complete,,,, and then i began to put together pieces like a puzzle in my mind. He had asked me not to call him as it was a business phone and he got “charged” for calls. He only ever contacted me during the day “business hours”, we only ever met during the day, and his e mails were mostly his writings, writings of sexual nature, fantasies he had in his head, stories of passion and lust and love at first I felt as if he had just copied and pasted them but later I knew they were his writings. I sat in a sinking feeling,,,, he MUST be married.

 

He called for a “visit” and what some would call a “booty call” but i wasn’t getting any “booty”, but THIS was the visit I was going to complete my “mission”, This man who had such a great impact on my soul, I knew was “shady” I know was lying, I had to put my DREAM, back inside of myself, lock it back up and just complete my mission,,,,,, always wondering WHY he would not go all of the way with me? Was i not good enough? Was I not sexy enough? Was I not worthy? Did he have a disease? Did he promise himself he would “play around” but never really go all of the way out of respect for his wife IF he had one? WHY???  What was the problem,,,, I asked him in an e mail, Are you HIV Positive? he laughed and said no im not, I have a clean bill of health,,, so the mission was reinstated,,,, and the visit came and through some really tough persuasion HE gave in to my “persuasion” and mission accomplished. When he was about to leave I looked into his eyes, something was different, something had changed in him, he left and I knew at that moment I would not be hearing back from him. I went on with my life so I thought, there were times I missed him, when the phone rang I would hope, I checked my e mail,, nothing, The only breakdown I had was one fall day,,September 26th 2005,

 

I had confronted him in e mail about his lies,days before, explaining to him what i saw,,, all the signs of a married man,,,,his response was another “fantasy” written out, he avoided my comments and my questions, he was exposed so divert my attention he “thought” he would grab my attention with another writing, I was livid, i was angry, I was hurt and I drove, I drove out to a place very special to me, a Big deck over a lake in a State park, a Deck my Grandpa and my Father had a part in building as a “Community service” project. I went out there often, and although it had been rebuilt a couple of times since then I still feel the craftsmanship my Grandfather put into everything he did. I got there, the wind was chilly, it was almost dark, I listened to the squirrels run around in the leaves, I saw a rabbit, I was a fish jump in the water and I began to cry, I began to scream out loud,,,, WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME? WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFERENT? WHY CANT I STOP FEELING YOU?? WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DID YOU COME INTO MY LIFE? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH HURT I DONT NEED YOURS!!! IF YOU CAN FEEL ME STOP LYING TO ME AND COME TO ME,,, EXPLAIN THIS FEELING I HAVE EXPLAIN WHY I CAN SEE INSIDE OF YOU!!!  COME BACK TO ME SO WE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT,,,,,  CAN YOU HEAR ME,,,,, I screamed until my throat hurt and I felt as if my tears would flood the lake, I watched as they hit the water down below and I felt as if I was fighting a losing battle, The Universe had played a very bad trick on me.

 

From that moment on everything with his was a game to me, I just knew he was different, the way he touched me, the way he spoke to me, they way he looked at me, the way we connected.

I had to let it go, I had to put this awakening feeling back inside of me, and I did, and i eventually went on with my life and I was right that was the last time I saw him, The time I was able to “complete mission”.The e mails got fewer and fewer. I did not need all that in my life, I met someone else and got engaged, and then out of nowhere a YEAR later a message,,,,A simple how are you doing message and then come everything flooding inside of me,,,HOWEVER  attached with those feelings were hurt and doubt, and A lot of doubt inside of me,,, wait if I can still have “these” kinds of feelings for someone else how could I marry someone? I was a mess inside and it was really all his fault!! Why did he come back into my life?

 

For months we met and talked and time stood still, but this was different as I was on a path of self destruction, it was me against everyone who had ever hurt me, and I grew into something just as bad as I felt he was, He was trying to stand in his truth, trying I say because he was not but I was getting answers, and I loved being in his presence It awakened me further, and the darkness got deeper as I knew he could see me so I had to find deeper places to hide it. I found out that my suspicions were warranted,he was married, however he had not lived with his wife for years, but had lived with someone else for nearly 9 years, so he had a wife AND a live in girlfriend, funny thing though he was still sleeping with his wife,and was lying to her and telling her he loved her and she had hung on for him all those years, all the while living another life with someone else,, and me well I was only one of MANY, he had on the side of his wife and live in girlfriend,in my eyes at that time he was a gorgeous, sexy, womanizing player! But I loved him, however so did many others, I found out he was sending them all the same “fantasies” all the same deep writings, all the ‘lines” only 1 thing was different,,, He would not be intimate with me in entirety. He was living out fantasy in each and every  woman he was with looking for different pieces of his puzzle, looking for something different in each one, he was looking for “himself”. He was hurting so many, and the big picture was the hurt he was doing to himself,,,

I watched him go through a change so deep, I watched as he confessed everything to me, I let him cry, I loved this man, I realized at this moment I was deep in love with him, but my mind would tell me over and over there was ALOT of women in love with this man! All I could do was be his friend, and go on with my life, so I was his friend and i stayed his friend as I watched him cry and confess and do it again to another woman and again to another one, and I watched as he witnessed me “feeling” his pain, I watched him and loved him as his wounds were deep, and his change was hard, he was lost. I knew I could never be with him really,,,Once a Cheater always a Cheater right??? We would confess our love for one another and we would in turn hurt one another.

 

I knew I could never really “be” with a man like this, I could never trust him, I cold never believe in him, again once a Cheater,,,,I married and it was a lie, I was not in love with him, I loved him, But I was not in love with him, I did it out of hurt,I just wanted to be loved and be the “only” one in someones life, and I knew I would have this from this man, I didn’t want to live a life of non trust, already we were connected though I could not deny that, however he would confess his love for me and the same night I could FEEL him with someone else. The Pain was hard to handle, it was unbearable, So perhaps marrying someone else was a way to throw that pain back at him, In turn I realize I was hurting a lot of people as well, I had become him, he just didn’t know it!

 

My Marriage was a mess, no wonder, I was in love with someone else and we communicated daily, We remained friends, as my marriage fell apart, In a night of hurt and to much alcohol I slept with my husband who I was already estranged from, and we conceived,,, I met with my friend and he is the one who told me i was pregnant he could see it in me. It was true, So I was living a lie with a man who I was about to have a child with, and he was still sleeping with others, still lying to his wife, and his live in girlfriend. At one point he had told me to just “come on” just come and be with him and he would raise my child as his own and we would just be in love,,, I thought about it over and over and after an argument with my husband I left and went to him, when i got to his home before I got to the door, I saw in the window and he was in an embrace with his girlfriend and they kissed, i never knocked i went him to my husband, it was what it was, we loved one another deeply but the hurt was to much, but I TRUSTED my husband and I needed that !

 

My friend and I barely spoke during my pregnancy we e mailed a bit and spoke on messenger a bit, but the communication was no where near as before,, He sent my son a gift in the mail and

we just remained friends,,,and just as fast as communication diminished it picked backup again, only this time it was a bit different he was different and I could see something about to happen, I wasn’t sure what. We met and we were “together” only this time beautiful and it was life changing and I knew he was someone I could never be without even if not physically, we were spiritually connected, we loved one another and it was evident.

 

 

We got closer and closer and I knew he was still lying and seeing others, this player was good, I had dealt with a “couple” of the women he hurt and they told me the same stories, “he said that to me too, yes he told me that too!”  uggg this man was toxic!!  and then,,,His mother was found very ill, and I watched him as he lost his mother, it was a very painful time for him, I just remained his friend, I went to the service, sat in the very back row, I just wanted him to know  I was there for him, I didn’t stick around, I left directly after. I saw him the next week and I saw something in him I had not seen before, It was different ! He cried to me, he broke down and the next few months were hell. i watched him die, I watched him split, I watched him fight and struggle, he was honest with his girlfriend who had since moved out, he actually told her he was deeply in love with me and he was direct.

 

He then went through something really really amazingly painful but so beautiful! He was honest with his wife and he started the process of divorce, my husband had long since moved out and finally just simply asked me “why aren’t you with him?” Did I mention my ex husband is a great man? SO we did it we made a go of it but did I trust him?? HELL NO!  when he stated he was in a meeting I requested a “picture” of this said meeting and he always accommodated and he understood!  What we had not addressed was the skeletons I had in my closet!  at this point he was standing COMPLETELY in his truth,he was COMPLETELY honest with HIMSELF and with me about every aspect of his past and his life.

 

We lived together until MY skeletons began to come out and why would he stay with me after all he had been though why would he stay with me he was honest with me he deserved my honesty and i never gave it to him, we separated and he forgave me and we reconnected and it happened again months later and again he forgave me and we reconnected and again, it happened again and he left me, this time for good, I saw it in him, he tried to connect with someone else as did I, I went through the same pain he went through I had to find myself, I had to fall in love with MYSELF, I had to go not my pain.

 

Now as we are both in our truth from this 9 year Journey,, we have been back out to that deck together numerous times, He proposed to me on that deck, standing in the very same place I was screaming for him at, tears fell from both of our eyes in the same water. I am in love with this amazing man and I get to spend the rest of my life with him, We share EVERYTHING we hide nothing from one another, we share a cell phone, we share emails, we share face books, we are together nearly always and when we are not, those very same butterflies I felt in 2005, i feel today when he calls from the store, when he sends me a message from Face book when im sitting right next to him.

 

I trust this man with everything i have in me, I trust him in every aspect! I trust he will never lie to me, I trust I am and always will be his one and only, I trust everything he Says to me. I believe in him, I believe in the Business we have created out of our story and out of what the universe has asked us to do, I believe in myself, I believe our running and chasing was a lesson and our experiences have already changed lives.

 

I sit in awe of this AMAZINGLY gorgeous man everyday of my life, I watch him walk and I smile I watch him type on the computer and I feel lucky, I watched him sleep just last night and I cried, He really is a genuine person, he’s gorgeous, he’s incredibly sexy, he’s honest, he’s true, he’s loving, he’s romantic, he’s passionate,hes kind, he’s generous, hes giving, he provides for us, he’s a wonderful father, he’s compassionate,and he loves me unconditionally and I love him unconditionally, I love him for what he’s been through, what we have been through, and the universe is now allowing us to teach from it.  The honeymoon stage is never ending, inside of me I still have those “forever” butterflies. The dream inside of me is awake and WE ARE LIVING IT! Relationship Reinvented was born from this connection.

 

The old Quote “Once a cheater always a cheater”  could be true, My cheater, CHEATED CHEATING do you understand that????,By going inside of the root of WHY he was choosing those actions, WHY he was hurting people. He went INSIDE, he in a sense took his own life,HE CHEATED CHEATING! and I have this wonderful man in my life, he is still a cheater, he cheated his pain out of staying alive, he cheated his story out of Defining him, He cheated everyone who knows him out of being able to say, “hes still the same old guy” “believe me he’s still lying and cheating”, anyone who knows him now and knows him then is no longer able to say that because they can see it in him! They can see by his actions and his energy that part of him no longer exists. He has cheated that quote out of being true!!   I was on that deck on September 26th or 2005 screaming for him,,,, and I will be back on that deck September 26th of this year Marrying this Cheater and I am the Luckiest Woman in the World!

I Love You Clark Kent

Love Lois

 

Can you shut off your emotions?

Do you have a switch and wonder how you can shut off your emotions!

i ignore it

Take a look here!
https://plus.google.com/u/0/events/c8152s2jsos2g6r5vf7lqo5278g

Eye C U vibrational unconditional love!

 

Eye see you vibrational unconditional love

Vibrational Energy of unconditional love

What is this exactly, well it is the true source of what the statement above implies, what we don’t see about this in energy is what this does to us without seeing it in truth.

The vibration we experience that rattles us into being always gets a push outward we don’t see how this pushes us inward. The echoes of what we become by the story we have kept inside causes this path and that path to keep us from being.

See this as a chime of sorts, we can hear it outside and dont really hear it from inside the chime, where the ringing is even louder.

If that wasn’t enough then see how this energy of connection does this to the liberty bell, the size is enough to see and hear the ringing for miles away and inside the bell is such a vibration going on, the shear age of the liberty bell matters not for the ringing and vibration continue even after can no longer hear it, how long do you think that happens? It happens for moments we don’t see because we live mainly outside ourselves in the illusion we are not able to experience what is inside of us.

So when you find a great love how does this show up when your bell is rung, it is ringing outward and we don’t see the obstacles of vibration that it has to get around inside because of the traveling done to reach our core as it does start to ring from inside you. It does get to the core that is why we lose so much in time, we start creating a thought process of how this will either be right or how this will be completely wrong.

Most who are in the despair of darkness can’t see the light, not even seeing that they are the light, and you shine this inward, you separate the being, from the ego which ignites the ego stronger creating a false self that says almost anything and everything. You can see the truth about what obstacles your story has created and you carry that, some even make the statement I have been healed!

The story is what you say inside yourself and give permission to the word healing. All healing happens and it is always on going, other than that it can lie dormant with a distorted view of what the condition are that are keeping you from cementing in unconditional love.

True love happens with the word that is first in it, true which is truth. Here is where the ego keeps you locked away from paradise and it keeps this as way to keep you from yourself and your true radiant place in being.

You have to unlock the truth and see that healing is what the word implies, you heal in past and in future always in the present moment. What you don’t hide is brought into the light and what you don’t keep locked away can no longer keep the story as the same story!

Many come and see that work has to be done, and when they go into themselves they see the deeper meaning beyond how the world of healing gives you to your true state of being. If you embrace the truth, then it renders what you see in the world as your illusion so much is granted in how you can unlock everything. Including the impossible!
How do you experience true unconditional love, is there conditions keeping you from truly seeing it and do you see that seeking this outside is hindered by the inside of you that has to go through all of the story to reach you?

What if the truth was that all positive and negative energy has created the path for you to see this more clearly in going in and doing the work to make the bell ring even deeper to feel your truth in connection. We can keep this lock on so long before it does the echoing needed to shine the radiant true love you can experience.

How do you unlock your truth? How do you keep your secrets hidden? What would happen to you if what you said was healed inside had to be gone into again to see yourself more clearly? How much love would you send out then without the variables of obstacles that can open you to the truth?

How much love would you embrace if you could be more transparent to see it ringing within you!

Love deeply,

Your soul!

Healing Series May: Fear as an addiction!

first-stepfear
We all reach a place where we wonder will everything turn out alright, will this all be a mistake if I choose to go this direction. What if I become something I don’t want to be. The truth about fear is, it is paralyzing and keeps you from the moment where everything is as it is. I remember the fear I had when I started writing all those years ago, not sure if what I was even writing made sense, or even what I was saying, did it truly touch anyone? I know what I felt inside and it was trying to make me see a past or future where the thought process was only going to give me one failed result. Failure!

It wasn’t until I stopped writing, for what I dreamed, and started writing from what I could feel. I had to make sense of it somehow. I guess it was my true source of healing. Yet what was left was the fear. It always seems that when I say or write anything I feel a sadness lurk about inside that says no one gets it, no one understands. Yet here I am doing this same ole thing again. Wondering if I made the right choice, or am I doing the right thing.

I had so much to heal then, as I still do now, I found out the truth about healing, it can creep up on moments we are in fear or when we just don’t know why we are even speaking anymore. Anticipation of what is to come of what has been left here for family, friends, stumblers and the like. I only know that one day it will be gone into and something more powerful will arise from the fear that enabled me to stand there in silence but found a way to write it here for others to see they are not alone.

The fear of someone thinking your are crazy, that you have lost your marbles. This judgement that we do to ourselves always gives our fear it’s greatest strength. It blocks us in the midnight hour keeping us awake to play mental movies of the pain we see coming our way not even seeing the pain is there with us in that moment.

The energy of fear is strong enough to help us keep the lies we tell ourselves inside alive. The alive creates a persona we keep and find a distinct role in playing this out. Keeping our love hidden inside, fighting our hidden screams in terror knowing that we can’t find all the missing pieces of the puzzle to find out what this all means. We never put ourselves in the puzzle we are not seeing the edges of how we fit into the puzzle so we don’t put ourselves in it.

When she kept convincing me to speak from this ancient soul of mine, I had a ton of fear! Actually still do, for I can always feel no one is listening but they can feel me and what I am saying. They have this space inside to. The one the fear stays in control of and keeps the ego running or chasing it’s tail not seeing why when they go a different direction that darned tail keeps getting away from them.

Fear has a lot to do with acceptance, what we can’t accept we fear, what we do accept well there is a certain amount of fear with it to. Something that seems on the inside we will suffer from in any form of acceptance.

For years and years I ran from myself for I had to much fear to face myself, to see myself as everyone else did. I was by far the worse fear happening to myself. My choices, my challenges. Yet it also seemed that after I became more aware of energy the fear was then utilized to look even deeper to myself that ever before. Fear is what showed me that what I couldn’t love about myself I couldn’t let others love about me. This was mind blowing but also very real. I realized I was only going to be as strong as my own fear. That fear was mine to do something with or I was going to lose what mattered most at that time. Myself!

The truth about fear is that it doesn’t have any real truth. Nothing tangible anyway just a thought process that calls to self annihilation.

Next time you feel fear ask it what it wants from you, if it tries to take you from the present moment realize that it is only the illusion of pain that you already have somewhere inside and hold yourself through it. Never let it tell you what others think, never let it tell you that you are not love, and mostly never let it keep you in a cycle of thought to make you lose what matters most! The deep love you have for yourself.

Remember fear is love inside of it, it makes you feel the threat of love being taken away somehow. It just isn’t true you can’t take away something you are! You are love dear soul!

Love deeply,

Clark

Healing series 2014 May: the fear be with you!

What is fear?

fear
At some point in our lives we all experience it. Our heart beats faster; we find it hard to breathe; the muscles in our body tense; our brain seems to shut everything else out and the focus shifts to the terror that has changed us emotionally and physically. We are experiencing fear.
So why does fear exist and do we have power over it? Fear according to researchers evolved in all animal species as a defense mechanism. It is a way for the brain to change the body chemistry so that future dangerous situations will create a stimulus, serving as an early warning system. This gives us an ability to determine a course of action that will increase our chance of survival. The chemical response in some cases is so strong it can cause physical and emotional paralysis and impede us from helping ourselves! When that paralysis is not experienced, the body then faces the fight or flight response in defense.
Some fear is healthy, being afraid of bodily harm from a potential attacker for example. Some fear is destructive and damaging, like feeling we cannot be honest with our partners for fear of judgment or ridicule. When we feel fear we need to remember that it’s a call to action. Unlike other animals we are able to choose how we respond to those feelings of dread.
In 3rd grade I was bullied and picked on by bigger kids, and my instinct was to fight. Eventually I was expelled from school and my father began spanking me with a belt as punishment. This punishment taught me to fear his spanking more than the bullies’ beatings. For the rest of my youth I backed down from every altercation. I did nothing to defend myself from the beatings of my peers; allowing them to label me a coward and hopefully leave me alone. I grew up in a very tough area so I got beat a lot. Today I am 44 years old and I have no memory of the physical pain I endured from those beatings, but the pain of not defending myself, of feeling like a coward–that pain lived inside me for so long that I can still feel the shame today if I allow it. When I was 18 I no longer had to fear my father’s punishments for defending myself and I began to stand up for myself again. This did not stop me from getting bullied on occasion, but interestingly enough I don’t remember an ounce of the physical pain; all my mind can recall is the humiliation of a loss, that helpless feeling of not being able to defend myself, that fear that someone else had gotten the better of me.
As I got older I began to read self-help books and to study why I and others thought and acted the way we did. In one of the books I was reading I came across one of the most profound thoughts ever, an acronym that defined what fear really was. The acronym was False Evidence Appearing Real. When I read that it instantly spoke to me. Whether an aggressively intimidating person, an inescapable, unpleasant situation, or a dreaded decision needing to be made, the feeling in all these situations was the same: fear. I finally realized that no matter what the evidence was I was selecting the meaning of it and assuming the worst case scenario. It reminded me of when I was little and I lied to stop my dad from spanking me. The reality was that I lied out of fear; but my punishment never turned out to be as bad as I had assumed it would.
This realization gave me one of the most effective tools for change and success in my life, I understood that only I could determine what had power over me, only I could assume what the consequences where going to be, only I could determine if fear would empower me to act in my defense or paralyze and control me.
Fear is real and it can be a healthy emotion, but do yourself a favor and remember that it’s only a call to action. Your choice is Fight or flight, and sometimes flight is necessary, but too often flight is chosen as the easy way out. As a former coward I can attest that it is easier to run away than it is to stand and fight for yourself. I can say with authority that just because you successfully ran away from your fear, you have not escaped it. Often times the long term damage you will cause by not standing up for yourself, your ideals, the truth, will be very difficult to heal from, because you will know that the fear conquered you.
Today you can make the decision that fear won’t stop you from telling the truth; it won’t stop you expressing your love for someone; and it can’t prevent you from standing up for yourself. Today if you’re feeling fear answer that call to action, and let fear know you’re back in charge of your life.

 

 

J.Austin.Ward
Email: j.austin.ward@gmail.com
Follow on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Personal-Empowerment-And-Relationship-Coaching-PEAR/749287711768150

Take a listen this was powerful as Josh and Lee discuss truth and how it is with fear!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/05/05/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series

Healing series April 2014: The truth is the TRUTH!

 

Polyamory truth

Healing series… Evolution of truth!
In the dominant side of thinking, we often have a voice that says things to us! This thinking is of course a protective nature or so we see it as being a protective nature that says things are ok, or not ok. When this thinking occurs, we of course can see that the truth can be as messy!  This say’s somewhere inside that a lie is ok.   It could be that you have to hide something about yourself! It could be that you are already rejecting, abandoning, or playing a mental record of something that once was. All of those are lies in a sense.

If you are rejected, do you make it ok to reject yourself? If you said no, then wouldn’t there be no discomfort on what you say rejection is. For you are holding yourself, and don’t need validation of any kind to tell you that you have been dismissed, or removed.

What about Abandonment? If someone has abandoned you, and you are hurt, and are in suffering from something that was long ago, are you trapped in lying? The answer should be yes! Yes as in the present moment you didn’t abandon yourself and now don’t make someone else responsible for it as time makes no difference you can give yourself the love that was missing in all moments and your sense of self is not going to suffer in the present moment.

When you evolve in truth, you evolve within truth. You see the pitfalls that can occur, come from not seeing the path the truth wants you to come to. If you see actions of energy outside you that you say can be repeated, and that it is still happening isn’t this in itself a lie?

In this radio discussion listed from this past monday’s healing series our dear friends Josh (a polyamorous male) with his wife Karen (a monogamous woman) shared how their truth about who they were became revealed and how deep the truth melted them to who they are together.
This was a very powerful understanding of how standing in your truth can give you the greatest love you ever experienced and how it continues to grow!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/04/21/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series

 

Love deeply,

Lois and Clark
aka Sherry and Lee