Essence of true love…

what if tomorrow came and not only did what you felt at this present moment show you the cards of the hand it was playing poker with were shown but you realized you lost everything… would you panic? would you be devastated? would you be angry? would you feel deceived? Or would you realized the inner peace you found before in this quest is all that mattered.. nothing that would make you age! Nothing that would make anything matter.. Just able to now realize you carry a touch that is 5000 fold over what you had before… when does it matter? why does it matter? not so much because no one can actually hear you… but you can now touch and see yourself like never before…

Breathe in every moment… it is all that is real… the intelligence you use to do everything else.. so why create something that is not real… just be you.. the essence of true love.. the essence of the miracle that is you!

I hope this finds you still dreaming that what lies before you is a mere dream.. nothing more… live in your dreams for they are the truth.. anything else will be sadness beyond your dreams…

One last thing… Happiness is emotional… Inner peace is not.. live with what you can live with because all other things are just that… other things! Inner peace needs only one thing… Inward sight and Inward acceptance.. nothing can take that away from you ever!

By connection to her I could hear myself inside… The message

Even been so happy that all you could do is believe it to not be true? Did you realize your mind doomed you from the moment this notion of something happening over took you and the next thing you knew you were doing foolish things to prevent that same very happiness to be something that is exactly what it is… At what point do you just surrender or do you not surrender to such a thing and keep consistently protecting yourself looking for ways in your mind to make up something that isn’t real.    What purpose does it serve to deny yourself happiness?

Do you realize in that protective nature you will hurt yourself and others in your quest to make sure it isn’t real?  You will now give yourself an outlet to make poor choices, in other words let’s say this is in a relationship where your needs and wants are met..not just in the beginning but even throughout time that it should have died out already…(who said it had to die, other humans who have accepted this in their own lives?)  You will start to pay more attention of what is not being done rather than what is being done and you will amplify this and start to make a constant routine out of things you love so completely without false notion that you are extremely happy.  The mechanism of being completely happy will not create the opposite as a protective nature in you that has to have a balance.   But why do you ask? why do we do this as a creature of habit.  It is in plain terms called being human!  Being human gives you every excuse and thought pattern to be in some constant state of turmoil, because without tragedy who are you? without being a victim who are you? without a lie, without a sense of pain who are you?   These characteristics are on purpose and give the mind complete control over the concept of time in you.  You will start to collect memories or things that happened in the past to contribute to the bulls eye that will lead you to the very pain you know is coming by self creation.. Pay attention to that statement as this was the moment I called attention to you, not your mind that will play back things in a format of You no longer do this? You said this 2 weeks ago?  your actions 3 days ago reflect that? In other words all momentum or true soulful love are conceived in the moments before you any longer.. which not only are of pure love, but are evolved ever deeply into a deeper love.

Things that could cause this, In the place of moment happiness, you embrace the love before you, you actually exhibit no fear, no sign of wondering where the pain will be before you, However past experience, lack of belief when it pertains to blissful life is no longer present in you when you are allowed to think of a mental picture of something that is out of place.  This can be enlightening cause to understand this response is to understand human nature at it’s lack of always embracing the moment before you.  It will create unnecessary pain cause it has these mental pictures created from history all in your mind.  In other words you will remember how you were treated.. hell you will remember how you were swept off your feet, but to hold onto such memories of happiness makes no sense to the mind, the mind sees that as a threat.. cause it can’t take you away from what it feeds on which is the present moment..  You take the present moment as a sure sign of what is your life, what is your excuse for allowing your own happiness to escape you.  It is quite interesting for you to be blissfully happy would actually make others feel as though you have been brainwashed when in fact the truth is, you have just made a choice to no longer allow the present moment of the happiness before you to no longer escape you.  This is a truth that demands attention!

Those that see this and then criticize, judge and even create conflict and drama now have something new to blame for their own mind being at it’s heightened drama level of pain and anguish and making poor choices.  This is the residual self of human nature that plagues all humanity and keeps them from such a love that removes historical sabotage and future created fiction the mind needs to stay in control of YOUR LIFE!  Yes your Life, without this understanding and acceptance isn’t all pain something that your mind has clearly kept you in a constant state of thought to keep you from that very place of peace, that very place of accepting happiness and blissful union even inside yourself…

Why would anyone’s thought pattern settle with just allowing the present moment to be as it is.. paying attention to it’s surroundings?  instead it needs to go to a place of time that either is how unhappy you are or allow you to pick apart a problem or mishap that is not going on in the present.. only to help you relive the past over and over again.  And create a false pain in you that is even more amplified because the mind needs to make this play over and over in your mind.  Do you realize you have a choice to stop this?  Did you consider it as choice.  Or did you just realize that you can just give in?  In other words surrender to it.. yes allow the mind to win!  Just when you play it over in your head and you can ask yourself a couple of questions.  First, yes I am in pain now and will be for the rest of my life.. I am going to blame this person for my pain, yes they are responsible for it, they are out to get me! I have to accept this and continuously keep thinking about it cause it is something I have to prepare for cause it is going to get worse they are out to get me and only me!!! or you could just say these simple things, I am no less of a soul cause of these things that have happened, I forgive this and will no longer allow any more time to be lost on something that really needs to be over with inside me, To let go and let it just be is something that we can’t do, cause we are the victim we are the now responsible for our own actions, we are now no longer giving power to the past as it keeps me clearly away from forgiveness and the present moment.  In other words you now have given yourself what it should have never lost.  Inner peace all other conflict derived from the mind now is essentially nothing more than mind noise which is created from survival which in the depth of the truth I point to is the past or future which the mind has been trained to see and is no longer before you at this moment. YET the mind will scream NO… all of this makes no sense… I don’t understand… or the best one is I am in control… which is YOUR MIND saying I will have none of this nonsense that is being read!

To be in the moment….. This is the sane way to live is it not? all other ways would be madness and destructive to every extent!  If you can complain about something, do you realize you are complaining out of air, in other words your sense of self is being threatened, or another person is the direct cause of your unhappiness and their whole life in your mind is centered around causing you pain, that is their primary objective.  Not to be happy or even breathe or live life, you will say harmful things to them and create drama to keep a created identity of you alive that says you are the victim and they are the cause of every ounce of drama, pain and suffering in your life.  I am not a prophet, I am not a smart person, hell I am not even anyone that matters much in these parts of your life.  I have no influence to even speak to the things that you go through in this life.. but I have just these things to explain.  You are not your mind or the creation of any said identity, you are more than that.. Your mind is not capable of living your life, it is only capable of keeping you from it.  It even is reading this and finding every reason for it to not make sense cause it is threatened by it. It can’t absorb this, it can’t grow from it! it can’t allow the words from this to be stated incorrectly to even poke holes in it to allow you to see your true self in it.  All it can do is protect and control.. It was given this permission from birth by the way of life humans have evolved into..   You are not your mind.. and only in death will you embrace it.  We look to the stars for exploration, but never look inside ourselves which is a greater universe and is what was intended in this experience.  Blame what you wish and continue to be inside listening to your mind and following it’s directions.. cause without this false sense of self who are you?  yes who are you?  I continue this journey with one thing in mind.. no mind allows the true being I was created to be to exist..  The mind has kept me from it.  The mind when I did go by it allowed two things to protect or to conquer all of which lead to a death that allowed me to finally live in the moment.  I no longer take the content in my mind all that serious, if I did wouldn’t I be critical of things that happen that would never allow me to go forward to grow.. to experience life in every moment.  I would miss it all.  I chose to no longer allow that to happen nor do I give it an excuse to attack and judge where all that is, is power disguised as weakness over others to create an identity of self… There is one statement that falls through that was written….NO THY SELF… that is impossible to the mind.. it only knows content yet it doesn’t know the depth it can’t nor won’t learn that. it can’t.. it is in survival mode at all times….  FREE YOURSELF FROM YOUR MIND!  If you have found yourself reading this over again or going back and re reading any section of this it is a glimpse into something that was spoken to you.. YOU not your mind that plays like a broken record or a recorded CD.. you found a door to what I speak of.. your choice is only to walk through it and allow it to change your life!  That is choice!  You do have one, and even more than that it was placed inside you from something we all believe in… and what is that the mind ask… I can’t tell you as it would (the mind) find away to close that door!  Don’t let it… Be free! Live laugh love

The Birth and Death Illusion….

when you are lost to mind thoughts for example.. tomorrows problems or the end of the week or a fight from yesterday you have to remember a few things to get you back on track.  None of that exist right now, in other words your mind can withstand the capacity to do everything else to include the body’s needs to keep in each moment.  So why shouldn’t you just embrace just that and be as you are and be at peace.  The mind will keep you trapped for as long as you let it.  You are powerless to stop this if it is the pattern or habit you tend to keep.  Don’t keep such a thing it was not meant for you to keep.

Even fear of something coming that the outcome is unknown will be something that you can’t predict or say what will happen so why worry or be fearful of something that is not right now.  If you live in the place where you worry about things that aren’t before you.  We all are trapped in this some how, not by choice but by learned response.  All the messages before us are of this very thing.  We enable our lives to be lived by not just birth and death but never about the true reason we are here.  Life.. life is never ending.. it doesn’t know how… it sustains long after any physical being we continue to manifest within.  Nature is beyond amazing… just believe!

Bird of Prey

Every moment can be lost… when you are not present for it.. In your mind.. In your heart… In your soul… you can lose these moments when it comes to you and you are not trapped inside your mind.. Life… this word has no opposite. It can be said in human form that death is the ending of this journey.. this false statement was created because in human form a majority of things that are important are considered to have an opposite.  Inner peace… Inner turmoil… Happiness… Sadness…. this is not true in any form.. If this was the case.. Inner peace would be impossible.

Inner peace – This is the un-disturbed result of being in tune with being… Being.. a word that doesn’t need any definition as to do so would alter it’s true form.. However lets state this as an example.  A bird that fly’s that soars as though it is free to do so.. no destination and no point as to why it chose to fly instead of hopping or walking to and from.. True freedom of life is exposed in every moment.. This is very true to being!

Thoughts of lost connection.. thoughts of why is my life sad and non satisfying are just that… to be full of joy and inner peace comes from knowing that this is not dependent upon conditions and thoughts of the mind in it’s emotional ranting and raving.. it is known from being at one with all that is.. Passion as a relative emotion seems to be something that most either have no concept or no forward motion of.. Although this very passion that can be within rage, calmness, painful scenarios, and the most incredible kiss or love felt physical form.  This moment is engaging as eyes connect.. all things that are mind driven fall away and pure connection arises… this is extraordinary as it is intense only as a miracle of connection of souls should spawn to touch the beings intent before it.. This passion can be magical.. it can be spiritual.. it can be heart felt.. Being is merged upon itself and it can make a stronger connection that requires no mind made thought.. However things begin to change if the mind is allowed to be in that moment.. If it becomes about ego.. Ego has no place in this touching of souls.. yet it would seem that it finds it’s way in.. Let go of this thought it is not what is before you.. it is not about how, when, why, or what.. it is about being.. much like the bird before mentioned.. let being embrace this word only known as passion…

A story tells a millions things about LOVE….

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outsidethe door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed – dead.

My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.– At least, in the eyes of our son— I’m a loving husband….

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Found this on a friends wall Thank You Sunny for sharing

Why the caged Bird sings….

I asked this question before.. thinking I could answer it as though I have always known the answer.. I then came to realize that something else was the answer I felt it.. how does a bird know that it is caged? then it came to be that something more important should have been asked.. How would you know that light exist if you saw in the dark all the time.. would you even know that there should be light.. would it matter???  For every reason that should be an answer inside of what is being asked.. however most questions or demands are asked for with no real meaning behind it.. The parts of God that speak in the inner space of self show a love that is the answer to the same mysterious reason that a caged bird sings.. We all love something.. or someone and find that no matter what they do or what happens that love continues on in a place that is never ending.. In hopes of saving one part of what seems to be reality.. the conscious self fights the fight to stay in the light with every part of the dark side of life that comes to place inside the heart! yes shadows lurk at every turn.. and even choices made seem as though they are the wrong choice at the time.. turn out to be the right choice when the coin finally lands.. Our peace of happiness isn’t dependent upon what can be within our space close to our heart but what can go outside our heart to know the space.. The poor kids stories aren’t poor until you lived in the poor kids shoes.. a sadder place lurks in the place we think we got it down..

Thoughts.. more and more all the time.. finding a way to hurt the beating heart of life.. we all wake to experience a new level of something that takes us to the place that we should have been years before.. I feel that deeply these past couple of days.. understanding that what ever life brings to you is exactly what you have been calling for your whole life.. when will you just reach out and embrace it.. why hesitate why hold onto a dream when the dream can be right before you.. how do you know it is in front of you.. dreams don’t take you and pull you in.. you have to jump in blindly.. what about the fear? what about the now?? what about inside yourself?

Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have. (ET)

History teaches question….

The Question of history….

Friend:  Racist means to suppress a group of people because they feel that they are inferior. Lets look at the facts. Today is Columbus Day so lets start there. The word illegals what is that?Someone who isn’t from America. Right? Well Columbus wasn’t from America. Oh ok this land was given to the colonist lol right. Who is really the rightful heirs to this land. Americans right? Lol ok. Lets get to another topic the Id. Did you know the id, social security card ,birth certificate was originally designated to blacks and lower class citizens. The illite and middle class thought that they were missing out on something and it became a law that all people must have some form of id. To take it further blacks and immigrants were given voting hurdles to stop them from them from voting. much like today. Words like natural citizen then was reserved for whites. I wonder why with the word play and laws most people need a lawyer lol. Now that we have had a brief history lesson. Lets get to the issues. Id voting hand outs. So many privileged people hate that the government gives handouts. Smh. Well the Great Depression was responsible for giving hand outs. Fdr was responsible for giving handouts. Most of the poor at that time were products of slavery most of those in jail too. For years Native Americans and blacks and many immigrants were simultaneously contributing to America while being persecuted. You may say that is the past. Well I’ll say it’s isn’t a very distant past and what we have today is a result of that past. The results of not wanting to help the weak the poor. When we ignore the weak and say its not our problem some how it becomes our problem. When the weak has to steal or kill or become hospitalized or institutionalized we pay for it. We can’t say let them die. Where would the illite be without the least. The weak are the balance this world needs. Compassion is something we all have as children. Hatred and racism is taught. I leave you with this question. What if it were you. After you passed your judgement you woke up and it was you? Would you still be so cold? Would your words be so absolute? The bible says to much is given much is required. You can’t receive anything with a closed fist nor can you shake a hand. I pray for this country for this world. That we learn to love one another. To live in peace. We are here but a short time. We will not be judged by the money we accumulated but buy the life’s we touched the differences we made. What is the real dilemma? We are blinded by our own selfishness that when we see some one not like us we see a enemy or stranger and can’t see ourselves. May your hearts become susceptible to the truth. May you learn to see life from another angle. May you receive this with love.

Clarkkent07:  My friend didn’t you just teach this to others who didn’t or weren’t aware.. The racism stops when we stop teaching it over and over to relive something over and over.. It is why they stopped teaching slavery in some schools.. We are different because we keep teaching that we are!

Friend: I’m teaching love, understanding giving wisdom. People Parrish for the lack of wisdom of knowledge. Ignorance isn’t bliss. The thought of slavery and any other type if ill treatment towards another being isn’t violent. The act is violent the thought is a creation of its violence. I choose to direct those feelings towards the universe and ask why. I take the thoughts I don’t hide them or forget them. But I use them to teach. Teach myself and others. How to avoid such evil. I even strive to take the I out of my speech and thought. Realizing we are all part of a whole making us one.

Clarkkent07: Acknowledging what doesn’t matter requires no mind.. The soul sees no difference it never has.. I applaud your post just felt it went one direction of negative and tried to turn it into a rant..rather than heart..

Clarkkent07: The state of things has nothing to do with color it has to do with doing the right thing for all humans who suffer and who prosper from the suffering of others

Friend:  Where did it rant? I acknowledge your point of view and accept criticism as a learning tool.

Clarkkent07: Did you not mention slavery, whites, blacks.. did those words segregate us in the post.. Is any of that relevant now?

Friend:  So you are saying don’t use color or any other name just say people. Instead of god or any other name say the universe? You once said arguing or defending something is violent. What is worth protecting and defending? How do you do so and not be violent. If its the ideals that we are taught that makes us violent. How do we un learn?

Friend: I agree some may view such words as negative. So should we not have history in schools?

Clarkkent07: By realizing you have a choice to un learn… This is by no means and attack or defense it is a point to what you stated in not teaching..

Friend: So don’t teach? Even self?

Friend: Then how does one learn?

Clarkkent07:  History is the cause of countless breakdowns in everything in every way..Because you are told to pay attention to the past you allow it to be your cause for doing and not doing.. You learn by never knowing any rules.. any past times..If someone told you that you couldn’t change the world many have tried… you would never make any effort.. Those that are crazy enough to say they want to change the world are the ones that do… (Steve Jobs) Raise the bar by not being the knowing rather than being the being of light and forgiveness.

Clarkkent07: learning is allowing unconditional love to be felt!

Friend: How is that done?

Clarkkent07:  free will and choice.

Friend: Lol. Sounds impossible when taken in context. But I’m crazy enough that I fully comprehend. In other words I have to let go if it all to learn something new. I must be willing to move on to move on.

Clarkkent07:  Realize your limitless capacity to grow by allowing acceptance to be choice… If the universe was unlimited to your imagination it would be a very small space until you venture into it!

It’s a Wonderful Death….

as I look back and realize that I am now hearing something in me that was always there before… never present this was.. never ending this still seems to be… I wish I could go back in time and be in those places where I made certain decisions.. choices that made me feel pain and regret…

Love… the unconditional place in your heart that either has a choice to understand it’s actions or not.. The mind.. the mind and the significant void of worry… or what if.. or how come… Thing about being confined.. in a place where you can’t make choices… choices are made for you.. you can see sunlight when told.. you can sleep when you are told.. you no longer have freedom.. and even your mind can condemn you.. this place… this significant void can cause you harm.. and hurt you and those who are around you to experience it.. it is painful and it is for nothing… we breathe all the time.. the mind keeps the heart flowing the blood pumping.. all the actions our bodies can do is because it is being done by the mind.. so why give it more to do…..

Children have eyes of forever.. they have the innocence that is of not allowing the mind to dictate to them unless taught… yes we teach to self destruct we allow them to see this mind turmoil and let them see the parts that the mallards of the world continually try to teach us.. to shaker it off in seconds and move gracefully as if we don’t.. we end up in causing disruptive waves in our life force.. these waves show them how to stress.. how to make bad choices.. how to be trapped in the mind… we have a choice to get it right.. we do.. yet we lose sight of this.. the noise is too loud…  What noise the one that starts when you read this and something says I feel something is right in this yet.. My mind says yeah but……………..

Question that was asked…

Ever had one of those nights where you just lay in bed thinking way too much?

Well tonight is one of those nights for me… See theres this guy that I have known for a few years now and when we started talking as just friend he had a girlfriend. But I just looked at him just as a friend until I began to liked him more and more like two years back. He no longer had a girlfriend when we started texting and seeing each other. He used to come to my house when I was babysitting and he has always made me smile for some reason.

Well one night he came for me and we went to his house. This was a few months ago during this year… We were just cuddling and well Idk why but I felt so comfortable in his arms. He started kissing me softly..and well you know it led to sex. But it was passionate sex..something I can’t explain.. but I felt the connection between me and him. It was a night that I would never forget. But it was too good to be true I guess because a few months after that I found out that he was having a kid with another girl. Even though he was the one that told me instead of hearing it from other really affected me. That was when I realized that I really like him more then I thought. Well we had stoped talking for a while. Then he started texting me again and I found out that he was living with that girl and his baby boy. He said they were having problems so I thought to myself..that maybe that was the only reason why he kept texting me. But then he still texts me every now and then and a week ago he told me that he hadn’t been with that girl for two months and that they were just friends. He also told me that he has always liked me and that it has just never been the right timing for us and that he will always remember that night we had. What is that suppose to mean? I don’nt understand him at all and then he still living with that girl and they are having another baby. I mean he didn’t say he wanted to be with me now but he wished that one day we could be.

I’m just confused. Should I even be talking to him still? Does he really like me? or maybe he just liked the sex thats why he keeps coming back to me?



What was felt is acceptance in both parts.. It wasn’t about the sex as much as it was about the connection deep founded passion. Something has happened to him in which he found a communication level of he can say things to you he can’t to the one he is with… Some people again reflect the frequency of what we feel deeply within and can send it back to us better than others. This is the feeling you feel inside that keeps the communication open.. There was an energy created and set. The real place you need to look is inside yourself.. There is another who can give this back to you… without being connected to another… You have a choice to make… If it was as powerful for him as it was you… He would have been with you already and would not have had another child and another on the way. It can be said that this is what happens to men in general… We never peak in the stream of connection much like a woman because we can’t hear inside ourselves.. This makes it the constant path of destructive emotional hurting we continue to do to ourselves and others. His flow of energy with you was pure… he disrupted it the moment he went back and slept with her and didn’t share this information with you before he didn’t… He changed your perception of the connection therefore changed you into confused and out of the loop yearning for the connection that is felt… much like pouring a water into a glass it is overflowing on your end and on his it is half full or half empty cause it has wholes at the top of the glass! It is time for a life change… This connection can be found again.. If you meet someone allow them to open up to you emotionally and you make no judgements or observations.. allow the energy to grow to where it is shared between you and the passion you experienced will return… if it is disrupted by another you will feel it and be able to remove yourself from it before it causes serious harm to self and being.. A love song will play in your head the moment it gets changed so does the song…It is the place of passion you seek and it is the place of love that is unconditional when it is truly accepted by both!


A gift of knowing… The universe inside as we know it!

So you think you are stressed.. or you are sad.. or you are indecisive.. well let’s take a closer look at this.. First if you feel this way for any reason.. ask yourself if you are ok with feeling this way? if the answer is no.. the next step is not a very large one to take.. “No!” you say.. well what is it that you are thinking so deeply about that it has your soul in a loop of misguided misfortune.  In other words what past moment or future moment is going around in you that you can’t let this go.. Again I say to you… if your breathing.. if your heart is pumping, If you can feel your fingers and your toes.. Then don’t you feel it is time that you give yourself a break and realize the miracle that is going on before you is that which we all take for granite everyday… more so every moment!  Remember there are no ordinary moments!  So how can you let this one go by without paying attention to the amazing miracle that is happening inside of you.

It is something else when you are truly in the moment.  things you never thought possible seem to be without an argument.  What is even more incredible is experiencing this with someone else.  Or what about a group of humans who all are in the same moment together.  Magic happens.. and the place that you are there for seems to be a moment where time doesn’t exist.

Time the killer of all things that ultimately allows us to not be in those moments.  Let me show you what I mean.  Next time you ask what time it is… realize you are not completely in the place where you should be.. inside of yourself growing, learning and feeling all the things I said in the very first paragraph.  In other words.. you are thinking incessantly and are not paying attention to the current surroundings that are going on inside and outside of you.  At no point are you connected to you in your present form… you are not even part of the scene.  This is dreadful to realize when you pay attention and catch yourself in thought.  We as the human race have been trained to do this throughout our lives never knowing… never understanding… that to be in the clearly present is the gift we were given at birth not to be disrupted by the thoughts that keep us from being right where we should be.. in the bliss of self.  Don’t get me wrong the mind should be used for certain things.. but constant rambling of things that are past or present over and over screaming loudly within you are repeated thoughts of repeated noises.  Ever had the same thought or same emotion come inside you with no reason for it’s repeating sound to make you sad, miserable, unhappy.  Did you realize you can turn this off?

Whole this will make you.. and it will also generate love in places that all of this is where we were supposed to be. Present and awake!  Yes I say awake.. awake because if you were thinking and not paying attention to your surroundings wouldn’t you be sleeping.  You would be missing those moments that are supposed to be joyous in nature.  I watch people and can see when they are not at the wheel of their vehicle.. Funny cause when we first learned to ride a bike at some point we learned to ride it without no hands on the handlebar’s… yes we learned this early to not be present.. to not be focused on the current moment and the place where we should be able to see all that happens around us.  Don’t get me wrong we were present when we first learned to ride with no hands… but after time we could do this and not be thinking about it.. we could be thinking of something else.  and then we learned to drive a car.. and then we did the same exact thing.  We were not present.. imagine if we were present.. wouldn’t vehicle accidents no longer be accidents.  Wouldn’t we be conscious enough to always be present and know our surroundings.

How can we continue to be in a place that we ignore this within us.  Haven’t we been asleep long enough?  I know what I am saying to you is something your mind will argue or take you from at some point.. but the point of this is to place a small note inside you and hope that you will catch yourself thinking and not being present for the surroundings that are around you.. This chain reaction will change you at some point. This is my intent.. This is my gift!  How much could you accomplish if you were present??? There are no limits to who you are if you find the universe inside you!

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