Arising Negativity….. We have not seen the truth about negativity in our existence in human… This is to point you to a greater truth. All resistance of what is.. Cumulates over time and the mind will now create a story to be placed here. You can see this in what others say about others, in what others create within their stories that is perceived as negative and then there is a deeper humbling experience of what negative is. The mind or ego as it were believes that through negativity it can manipulate reality thus giving it a power. This negativity in ego truly believes it can get what it wants and have it’s needs met under the identifying light of the ego which is actually in the dark nature of what we experience in human! It seeks what is unconditional and tries to create conditions to be made where it truly sparks a thought process that can be injected into us from the outside world, but never truly reaches our depth of what it means to be human. Nothing can take away your inner peace in this way instead it floats on the surface where the inner peace can either absorb it through embracing what is said or create an identity to generate anger, isolation, retreat, the common energy of the emotional body which produces fear. We shared our journey out of this energy of inner peace, no judgements created, no sense of self created, just the unconditional love that can be accessed through the story the story teller told to allow us to show that true love can stand by itself without the need of negativity of the activated mind that sees itself in annihilation of being found out. If you say somewhere inside I am a doctor, I am a lawyer, I am a god, or I know others who are prestigious in their field of work in this world. You are no different than a homeless person sitting knowing that true love is there, it is there to say I am something in ego that needs to be heard. This voice is not the voice of love this is the voice of created negative energy that is seeking conditions on something that can be transmuted into unconditional. Here is something to look deeply within and embrace in such a way that you see the present moment more clearly! Any form of negativity that you hold onto is a deeply unconscious start or level that doesn’t want positive change. It threatens an identity created in ego that would threaten the identity to use the energy of anger, depression, rejection, abandonment or the like. It’s purpose to attack and defend it’s mental position you have inside your mind will then seek the way of sabotage, ignoring, denying, and seeking what is said as a means to keep others from seeing the point of finding true love to include the deep love within yourself. This energy of negativity inside of each of us, don’t see how this works when you embrace your true inner peace. This is found in the deep love you are concealed in the deep inner peace of what is! Face death for example. When you face this to it’s core you see the truth that we all will share this no matter what we are. You can be a millionaire on a yacht traveling the world, a homeless person sitting in the bitter cold. A person who doesn’t use the internet or social media to inject the negativity in the world….. You will be as we all are you will one day die, the negative and positive energy that made you up will become a present moment experience and will go into silence and the deep peace will be all that is there. The truth of negative will finally embrace you, and how you use this as a negative pollutant will now be used for the air that is breathed in this world without you in it! It will then be apparent that the negative thoughts that kept you hidden to form that we all have in human will now be passed on to someone who will take your place injecting to identify with a mental position of who is right or wrong! In this case the self would be! In the wild life there are predators and prey all of which follow the circle of life, there is love there that doesn’t have a thought process and doesn’t make living and dying or even I am better than you or more deserving than you a reason to attack yourself or others. It just flows within the energy as it is! If you find your inner peace you will find the deeper overwhelming love that comes with it. It has both negative and positive energy and it flows through you as it does all creatures on the planet! Just don’t attach the mind to it and it will show you the most deep love. Not what we do to each other but what in truth you do to yourself. True healing comes from the inner peace we can reach with each other because we are the same regardless of social status. Negative emotions contain a deep message inside of it, as do illnesses of any kind, are you curing cancer of placing a band aid on it! When you reach the truth of what is negative you will realize how you have created it through ego where it never needed this at all to spark this illusion of the physical. If something sparks you as negative see the truth, it is sparked to ask you one simple thing, are you connected or disconnected from being, which is human and not! When you embrace being fully present you no longer seek unconscious behavior for the world to see you embrace a conscious love the world can feel. Not because it is true outside you but because it is true within you! When someone says something to you that sparks negativity in you, instead of attacking, defending, or withdrawal let it pass through you, become transparent to the energy that comes to you, not resistant which will create an ego in you to emerge to do that very thing. It is a self that is created with mental position and not a spiritual one that embraces what needs to be felt in the deep despair of being that keeps you from your inner peace and can infect others in their inner peace. The primary is the most important! Know that forgiveness inside is that it requires giving up the hope that the past can be any different and forgiveness in this present moment is to offer no more resistance to what is! Being vulnerable enough to become invulnerable to all things is acceptance. It offers you to see others unacceptable behavior and see that the ego becomes activated from the story and the story teller that makes them right and everyone else wrong! No one has power over your inner state of peace except you, when you live in that you will then want everyone to access it for it is there place of being, it is where joy and resistance meet to be transmuted into peace which you are made up of. You are the deep ocean blue when you find this within you, not without you! Love deeply, Clark
Many of things have been written on this topic and what it means in truth. We have spent many of existences trying to signify what this ability is. When we love, we do this from a place inside that says we are something more!
Some love in material, some love in physical, and some are just not sure how to access love in the way it doesn’t have conditions.
The more pure love is without conditions the more powerful it can be to give it not just to others but to oneself. What are conditions to love, it is the thinking that infects it. examples of this are;
I love you but,
I love you and,
I love you except,
I love you yet I can’t,
All love of self, whether just being, (being meaning inside yourself) which is primary in self love, means not seeking the love in yourself in the mind. In the mind you will have thinking of past, future, right or wrong, statements of self that are illusionary at best.
Why does the mind need to be involved here and what if it is? This can be a story we say inside the mind, inside the body, a story that has a good or bad narrative. This story has such a way of infecting us in the mind and not seeking the truth about the love we are regardless. If you are reading this, and you can suddenly feel your heartbeat, then realize you are connected to love in such a way, that no story, no matter of thinking can say you are not love. Your heartbeats in sync with the person sitting next to you in school, work, or other.
The difference in all love is the story we tell ourselves about love. I was infected by the story and the story teller did such a narrative that made it possible for me to ignore the truth about all things love and also gave me a reason to think my love was tainted and a mess. All love is messy in this way. We see each other and don’t see the love, we see the physical manifestations of love but the illusions created by the story we have keep us from the depth this love can give us.
It matters not what you do with your story as far as love is concerned. Some of the most powerful moments in love have no mind regardless of what the mind will tell you. Just a simple embrace of the arms around you. The holding of ones hand, the soft touch of the jawline or even my dear favorite that my mother used to do rub my head. I know sounds kind of like a dog but as we are shown affections in love growing up we seek those that will give us these same affections as a matter of trust and of love. My mother was also very prominent of looking into our eyes to see if we were in there. At least that is what I remember from way back when.
In moments of the now, I miss those times, I know that my energy becomes almost sad as I wish I would feel those moments again, as they rarely happened to me as I got older. Yet it seemed to get my attention outside of my story as they did. I suffered a lot in my story, not feeling good enough, not feeling deserving of that kind of affection. This love was left empty and my material way of love became more of what I was seeking. For they did teach me how to be a provider and not asking or speaking about what I truly needed and wanted feel inside the story of I don’t deserve it, I am not good enough to receive that from anyone. Yes this story has such a way of showing itself to the world inside of me.
I do get to experience it when I go inside and keep my eyes closed and I can feel the love she knows she gave me and I know I experienced.
We have a choice to see the conditions we have on love, whether it could be that someone in pain caused us pain, and then we point at them and make them out to be the martyr. Yet what we do have is a choice. The choice to love them anyway and stay out of harms way for them to keep hurting us and only be there when they see they are hurting themselves in their actions and inside of their story.
If you are in love with yourself do you see the conditions you have in yourself that need to be removed? Can you see the truth of what would happen if you removed them? How deep would you love if you made this one condition on love which is to have no conditions to truly experience how beautiful you are to experience it?
If you were to lose all material in this moment, what would you give to show your love to yourself?
Love is not just a way of being, it is truly the ability to let go!
What is fear?
At some point in our lives we all experience it. Our heart beats faster; we find it hard to breathe; the muscles in our body tense; our brain seems to shut everything else out and the focus shifts to the terror that has changed us emotionally and physically. We are experiencing fear.
So why does fear exist and do we have power over it? Fear according to researchers evolved in all animal species as a defense mechanism. It is a way for the brain to change the body chemistry so that future dangerous situations will create a stimulus, serving as an early warning system. This gives us an ability to determine a course of action that will increase our chance of survival. The chemical response in some cases is so strong it can cause physical and emotional paralysis and impede us from helping ourselves! When that paralysis is not experienced, the body then faces the fight or flight response in defense.
Some fear is healthy, being afraid of bodily harm from a potential attacker for example. Some fear is destructive and damaging, like feeling we cannot be honest with our partners for fear of judgment or ridicule. When we feel fear we need to remember that it’s a call to action. Unlike other animals we are able to choose how we respond to those feelings of dread.
In 3rd grade I was bullied and picked on by bigger kids, and my instinct was to fight. Eventually I was expelled from school and my father began spanking me with a belt as punishment. This punishment taught me to fear his spanking more than the bullies’ beatings. For the rest of my youth I backed down from every altercation. I did nothing to defend myself from the beatings of my peers; allowing them to label me a coward and hopefully leave me alone. I grew up in a very tough area so I got beat a lot. Today I am 44 years old and I have no memory of the physical pain I endured from those beatings, but the pain of not defending myself, of feeling like a coward–that pain lived inside me for so long that I can still feel the shame today if I allow it. When I was 18 I no longer had to fear my father’s punishments for defending myself and I began to stand up for myself again. This did not stop me from getting bullied on occasion, but interestingly enough I don’t remember an ounce of the physical pain; all my mind can recall is the humiliation of a loss, that helpless feeling of not being able to defend myself, that fear that someone else had gotten the better of me.
As I got older I began to read self-help books and to study why I and others thought and acted the way we did. In one of the books I was reading I came across one of the most profound thoughts ever, an acronym that defined what fear really was. The acronym was False Evidence Appearing Real. When I read that it instantly spoke to me. Whether an aggressively intimidating person, an inescapable, unpleasant situation, or a dreaded decision needing to be made, the feeling in all these situations was the same: fear. I finally realized that no matter what the evidence was I was selecting the meaning of it and assuming the worst case scenario. It reminded me of when I was little and I lied to stop my dad from spanking me. The reality was that I lied out of fear; but my punishment never turned out to be as bad as I had assumed it would.
This realization gave me one of the most effective tools for change and success in my life, I understood that only I could determine what had power over me, only I could assume what the consequences where going to be, only I could determine if fear would empower me to act in my defense or paralyze and control me.
Fear is real and it can be a healthy emotion, but do yourself a favor and remember that it’s only a call to action. Your choice is Fight or flight, and sometimes flight is necessary, but too often flight is chosen as the easy way out. As a former coward I can attest that it is easier to run away than it is to stand and fight for yourself. I can say with authority that just because you successfully ran away from your fear, you have not escaped it. Often times the long term damage you will cause by not standing up for yourself, your ideals, the truth, will be very difficult to heal from, because you will know that the fear conquered you.
Today you can make the decision that fear won’t stop you from telling the truth; it won’t stop you expressing your love for someone; and it can’t prevent you from standing up for yourself. Today if you’re feeling fear answer that call to action, and let fear know you’re back in charge of your life.
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Take a listen this was powerful as Josh and Lee discuss truth and how it is with fear!
Healing series… Evolution of truth!
In the dominant side of thinking, we often have a voice that says things to us! This thinking is of course a protective nature or so we see it as being a protective nature that says things are ok, or not ok. When this thinking occurs, we of course can see that the truth can be as messy! This say’s somewhere inside that a lie is ok. It could be that you have to hide something about yourself! It could be that you are already rejecting, abandoning, or playing a mental record of something that once was. All of those are lies in a sense.
If you are rejected, do you make it ok to reject yourself? If you said no, then wouldn’t there be no discomfort on what you say rejection is. For you are holding yourself, and don’t need validation of any kind to tell you that you have been dismissed, or removed.
What about Abandonment? If someone has abandoned you, and you are hurt, and are in suffering from something that was long ago, are you trapped in lying? The answer should be yes! Yes as in the present moment you didn’t abandon yourself and now don’t make someone else responsible for it as time makes no difference you can give yourself the love that was missing in all moments and your sense of self is not going to suffer in the present moment.
When you evolve in truth, you evolve within truth. You see the pitfalls that can occur, come from not seeing the path the truth wants you to come to. If you see actions of energy outside you that you say can be repeated, and that it is still happening isn’t this in itself a lie?
In this radio discussion listed from this past monday’s healing series our dear friends Josh (a polyamorous male) with his wife Karen (a monogamous woman) shared how their truth about who they were became revealed and how deep the truth melted them to who they are together.
This was a very powerful understanding of how standing in your truth can give you the greatest love you ever experienced and how it continues to grow!
Lois and Clark
aka Sherry and Lee
A lie that shatters to hide your soul… The search for wholeness!
I am not whole without you… I am whole when I am with you… This is how simple a lie can begin… It is how simple that a lie can break you down inside…
This way of thinking has a specific truth to tell you, yet it will escape you more than anything we get to experience as a human being. When you are empty inside and meet someone outside you, and you see them with such a feeling you translate this feeling with love.. Love in this sense is not derived in energy to allow the other person to feel it, for how could they you started out by saying I am empty, or you are saying with them you are finally whole…
To be whole because of another person is the lie.. This lie if hiding can be the truth about why any relationship you have can change from love to hate. It can show you both in an instant. Here is something to ponder.. When you look at someone you love and they are saying that they love you, how does it then turn to attack, criticize, blaming, etc… This is a very hurtful place in love. You want them to return to what they always were giving you in the whole that you feel inside, and as each time this happens, and continues to get greater and greater you can see that something somehow has caused you to feel the emptiness that was once there before. This is all egoic in nature of course and it is that what you feel by saying the other makes you whole is a huge responsibility for anyone to carry. You never see it this way for what you do see is that what was once there is now gone somehow. You hurt inside and you feel the void yet something in you says you can get it back.. and then if it continues you find that you are only seeking for more of the same in pain. This cycle of love/hate is almost unbearable for the glimpses of love from the start to become further and further apart.
It is almost as though anything you do will activate the ego in this way, you try to be even more loving, something comes and says you are not going to get it, not because of the empty place inside you but because the pain that you have is now activated again and the other who was to make you whole has seen it and started to share it with you. This becomes almost impossible to endure. For even when you make up another thought is about to enter them, or you, that says they are keeping you from wholeness in some way.
When someone says I don’t know who I am anymore, it is an act of violence on the self that says something has shifted in them making them think they are less somehow. They don’t feel the same anymore, they don’t act the same anymore, and you are now caught from what was once in whole as it was in the beginning and realize you no longer can keep enduring this, but you stay not because of the wholeness but because what has become normal behavior gives an expectation and a incompleteness that is complete in the mind of the ego. It says you are all these bad things, and that no one else will want you, and this is as whole as your going to get. It even can be based in material circumstances, emotional circumstances and it will give you what you fear, what you don’t want, what you can’t fathom. It even will activate the other person to start seeking something else. Someone to cover up the little bits of emptiness that have can be covered by anything even if it is just sex.
As I am explaining all of this, I wanted to go back to the very thing that was said in the beginning…. The lie itself that caused all of this.. I am not whole without you.. This is so far from any truth we can’t see it, we keep this lie and this way of being to keep us in cycle of love/hate where love truly isn’t present at all! How can it be? You are whole, not because I said so, but because within you, you have a living body that is sparked by something that was whole to begin with. It gave you purpose, it gives you the power to be present and all you have to do is go inside to see it yourself. It doesn’t take much after this realization. that you can be as you are already….
You are whole dear being!
How do I stand in my truth?
One of the most uncomfortable challenges of being human is seeing the truth vs. a lie.. We are born into this world without experiencing both positive and negative, so to not understand how we learn to tell the truth or a lie is unknown to us…
As we are infants we see energy we see those that show us love, some show us like and some show us something else.. As we come out of infancy we experience things more common in communication, Bobby is hungry. Mommy, Daddy and there are a list of words… Then as we get just a few years more.. The things we see are explained or not explained.. This part is where the lies begin, we are told we are to young to understand, or words are spelled out in front of us to exclude us from things. Or the energy is offset and we have no explanation why. We in turn start to say this energy is something we caused.. Therein lies the first of many lies.. As young as we are we start to say things inside. We don’t see it and don’t comprehend it, we just know that we are seeking the unknown and when we don’t have words or are shut down for any reason we know that we are experiencing something we now make something about something we are feeling on the inside.
Depending on what others say to us or how their energy is to us, we hear a voice inside that starts to say things that mostly leave us without a purpose or an identity in purpose. We have a mind that starts to generate this and state that and it really never is that someone says something hateful to us, we say it to ourselves…
Now as you can imagine this becomes based in a space that causes us to view everything skewed.. Is there truth to what you see? Not really, it depends on what you are surrounded by when it comes to understanding the actions of others, whether it be your father, your mother, your siblings or just in general other kids.. If you are bullied it can even be magnified even more.. This lie is a lie hurting others because of the lies that say inside that violence or bullying is a way of being in the world. Picking on someone who hurts worse than you do, it is all filled with lies.. Lies that you are not worthy of love, you are not much to anyone, no one can be nice to you, you are disabled from love… This is all the myriad of lies we have.. It starts with our first form of abandonment. rejection, abuse, punishment, confusion with no real explanation that creates a place to understand the actions. You see it can go way deeper than what I am even stating here. Broken trust in what anything is for what it is, because you know love within you!
You know it yet it doesn’t show itself to you, because of the things you have within you without seeking the truth in it. I had seen a little boy recently, he was sad… and I said are you ok? He looked at me and with the saddest most beautiful eyes he said to me… I don’t have a daddy… I said yes you do, I will be your father… He said well what about my real dad, I said son, every father has had a father that possibly didn’t show him the love that a dad can give. I can give you this.. The little boys eyes welled up and I held him why we both cried.. It was the most powerful hug I ever felt… As he cried he screamed, why doesn’t he love me? why doesn’t he want to see if I am ok? Why doesn’t he call me? What did I do that was so bad, I will take it back! I will be a good boy… The more I held him, I listened to him cry out.. all of his truths… He just wanted his father to love him, and tell him he was worth the world to him, and that he was proud to have him as his son. I listened as I heard the lies begin…
I am worthless, I don’t want to be anything when I grow up, I am not good enough for anything, I am not worth loving… I hurt inside because my father wishes I was never born… My heart was breaking for this child.. I couldn’t hold him any tighter for fear I would hurt him. I said it just isn’t true… He said yes it is! As loud as this boy was screaming I could feel the pain coming from him, coming from what he felt inside. The fear, the abandonment, the torture he was under from being attacked from his mind over and over. He finally said… I hate my father… I said Son… you can’t hate your father it just isn’t true none of it.
He tried to pull away… I said what is a father to you? He said not the man who is my father, and I said so how can you hate him for being something he is not? He paused… it was as though something in him shifted.. He was quiet for a long time and then wiped tears from his eyes and said… What do you mean how can I hate him for something he is not? I looked at him and said do you know your grandparents? Grandma or Grandpa his parents? He said yes, I said what do you know about them. Well I know my grandma very well, I see her all the time, and I said what about your grandpa, well he died when I was young but he wasn’t there much for the family! So I said well son, if his father wasn’t there for him, where would you father learn to be a father? His silence was overwhelming. I said you know that pain you feel for your father not being here for you? He said yes! I said can you forgive your father for not knowing how to be a father to you? He said I guess so…. I then pulled him back and looked into this child’s eyes. I said son… No matter what you say inside, your father loves you, he loves you but to be something he was never taught to be with no template how successful will he be? would he make a good father to you?
His eyes as swelled as they became, looked at me and said I suppose not! I looked deeper into him and could see a release from what he felt in anger. I said do you realize how deeply he does love you can you feel it in your heart, that even thought he is not in your life, that heart beat you have is the most unconditional love he gave to you?
He said yes… so I said don’t reject the heart that beats for you.. love you so you can love others and more than that forgive what you don’t know for being upset with things you can’t know will only create suffering. Can you stand in this truth?
Yes, well I am your father and I will be for as long as I am breathing. It was then I felt such tears… Yes the little boy was me and I was speaking to the inner child that always seems to show himself when he isn’t connected inside.
How do you stand in your truth?
Trust Out On A Limb …
How you trust and what you trust are significantly impacted by the way you can kiss someone and won’t let go! You hold back, you hold back, from the place inside that has been hurt in love, hurt inside and no way of turning back the hands of time to remove the place inside you that expects or better still trusts that you will be hurt.
This is so common and so powerful it just doesn’t effect what happens to you when you are intimate, but it happens when you are able to communicate with anyone.. You will not trust telling them your truths, not trust telling them what you feel because a dismissal of what you feel is going to suffer and it makes you suffer from the suffocation of not being heard, not being understood, not being loved for whatever may come out of you. This strikes your security and hurts you sense of self in the most violent way, your trust is compromised by your thinking and your thinking does the protection of how you suffer. Isn’t this backwards, shouldn’t you be able to share what is going on inside you without feeling broken, without feeling a sense of self that is completely distraught.
So many use the term go with the flow where the flow with them is in disruption! The thinking begins and it becomes a disconnection of the self in ways that no one ever truly sees. This is painful as the pain body becomes awakened by the sense of silence that is placed in a box where inside you are left screaming for not being heard. What does this have to do with Trust you may ask. Well inside you begins the words, no one is listening, no one believes, I can say this or keep this in here, it is best to keep this hidden. You now will have a root that your trust can never flourish because of this belief, because of the words that stay in you that says you can’t speak what you feel. Rejection of the self is the most common form of trust that can be broken.
You will become molded into being a specific way because you think you can’t trust what you feel and you can’t trust that you can tell anyone what you feel. The lies begin to become powerful inside and you will say things that will hurt others without not even seeing that you are only infected with the lies you keep inside. As you find this form of abandonment in what trust is within you, something shifts.. Something is lost, something is silent in you and something is isolated. You then will find a place where you can just be safe inside yourself and unless it is activated, will you activate the broken trust in you.
What is it to activate the broken trust in you? Let’s say you recently are broken up with someone and you got hurt because your trust was impacted, it is not uncommon to say I need time to heal where in the healing process you find fault in something you did or didn’t do and now will say something is wrong with you, you will either be single for a long time, or try and get back out there yet your sense of being able to be with someone will be less than, or more than depending on what happen to your trust in yourself to be with someone else who will not hurt you. You even trust the story that you have experienced and it keeps you from ever truly healing. You don’t trust your own choices, how is that healing? You don’t trust that what you will find in someone else will be their trustworthiness to always be honest with you. To not hurt you like you once were hurt. Your mind is always in active in overdrive, because of what you experienced and it becomes painful to you, not because of them, but because of your sense of self that suffered with no true healing. What is true healing? True healing is the moment you say why don’t I trust? You go into it, you go into what says your trust is broken. Have you experienced something like this only to find that you can’t fix what is broken because you want or need to give responsibility to someone else to fix this! Yet no one will ever be able to get close enough to you because you have stated the core statement of why no one ever will… The statement is I was hurt by someone who betrayed me infecting my trust in them and myself. The ultimate betrayal is not found in what was done to you, but what was done to the sense of self that says you can’t be with anyone else now because of this, or you can’t trust your own choices now because of what has happened.
In every moment you trust… we don’t see it this way but it is the truth. You trust that others who are driving down the same road as you have control over their own vehicle, you trust that the electric company will keep on your electricity, you trust that your internet will not go down before you reach the end of this post.
You see trust is activated in everything we do, yet it remains broken in connection by choices and by not seeing the impact of those choices to our core trust we have in everything. What changes would you make if you could wake everyday and be able to go out on a limb and trust completely?
Would you cry in all moments because your trust was broken? Or would at some point you trust yourself again to trust everything again not being stuck in the time machine of what was and making yourself suffer from a trust that may have been challenged? It should never keep you from the truth of connection or the truth of what trust can give you inside yourself.
When you look at this under the light of how this was written here…
What would you do with the trust you currently have and would you change any part of it? If so when?