Im Marrying a Cheater!!!

 

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As a Child I dreamed of this Connection, a love no other seemed to believe in, I would daydream about a connection so deep that you could feel physical manifestations of the other person, I dreamed and dreamed and when I spoke of this great love i was shot down,”your living in a fantasy world”. “there is no such thing, its only in dreams”. So thats where I kept it, in my dreams,,,,,, I married for 13 years, it was a “normal” marriage, I divorced dated, and then 2 years of self discovery ended me up in a new city with a brand new start and a fresh outlook on life, and then,,,,,, it all started.

 

I met him, when I saw him, my heart knew something was different, my soul awakened, my eyes were gazing upon the most beautiful man I have ever seen. We spoke and his voice consumed me, his written words were poetry to my ears. The first time my eyes saw him My heart stopped beating for seconds, I could not breathe, Ill nervier forget the fist sight, he was standing/leaning against the back of his car at a place we had agreed to meet at, he wore business attire which He wore so sexy, he was certainly easy on the eyes, I Immediately felt unworthy, I felt this beautiful man could not be here to meet me, but he was and I was falling all over myself. We talked to get to know one another, and time stood still.

 

Time after time he would call the numbers still are etched in my soul when they would show up on the caller Id, my heart raced, my palms would sweat. He had done something to me, we would make plans to meet, always at my place and I would get so excited, I would make sure to be home earlier to shower and prepare myself for THIS meet may be “the one” because every time we met there was ALOT of kissing and making out, and oh my when we kissed it lasted for hours,and well as ironic as it was HE would not “put out”. He never left me unsatisfied, the passion so strong so amazing so deep, however it seems I was on a “mission”.

 

Let me go back for a second and describe a kiss, a kiss I have written about, and he has written about, a kiss so deep, a kiss that awakened that ‘DREAM” I had kept inside of me, I saw inside of his soul, I saw him and I knew he could see me, I knew he he could see “ME”. That scared the shit out of me, why wouldn’t it, I had lived a very messed up life, I had a lot of skeletons in my closet and this fine specimen of a man had the key to the damn door! Let me explain how that feel for those of you who dont know,,,,Its like a serial killer who had a ton of “evidence” in his house and the police were knocking on the door,,,, That kiss made my heart do flips, made my stomach turn in excitement and fear combined. When he left that day I was glad he was gone but never wanted him to leave.

 

The visits became less and less and my “mission” was not complete,,,, and then i began to put together pieces like a puzzle in my mind. He had asked me not to call him as it was a business phone and he got “charged” for calls. He only ever contacted me during the day “business hours”, we only ever met during the day, and his e mails were mostly his writings, writings of sexual nature, fantasies he had in his head, stories of passion and lust and love at first I felt as if he had just copied and pasted them but later I knew they were his writings. I sat in a sinking feeling,,,, he MUST be married.

 

He called for a “visit” and what some would call a “booty call” but i wasn’t getting any “booty”, but THIS was the visit I was going to complete my “mission”, This man who had such a great impact on my soul, I knew was “shady” I know was lying, I had to put my DREAM, back inside of myself, lock it back up and just complete my mission,,,,,, always wondering WHY he would not go all of the way with me? Was i not good enough? Was I not sexy enough? Was I not worthy? Did he have a disease? Did he promise himself he would “play around” but never really go all of the way out of respect for his wife IF he had one? WHY???  What was the problem,,,, I asked him in an e mail, Are you HIV Positive? he laughed and said no im not, I have a clean bill of health,,, so the mission was reinstated,,,, and the visit came and through some really tough persuasion HE gave in to my “persuasion” and mission accomplished. When he was about to leave I looked into his eyes, something was different, something had changed in him, he left and I knew at that moment I would not be hearing back from him. I went on with my life so I thought, there were times I missed him, when the phone rang I would hope, I checked my e mail,, nothing, The only breakdown I had was one fall day,,September 26th 2005,

 

I had confronted him in e mail about his lies,days before, explaining to him what i saw,,, all the signs of a married man,,,,his response was another “fantasy” written out, he avoided my comments and my questions, he was exposed so divert my attention he “thought” he would grab my attention with another writing, I was livid, i was angry, I was hurt and I drove, I drove out to a place very special to me, a Big deck over a lake in a State park, a Deck my Grandpa and my Father had a part in building as a “Community service” project. I went out there often, and although it had been rebuilt a couple of times since then I still feel the craftsmanship my Grandfather put into everything he did. I got there, the wind was chilly, it was almost dark, I listened to the squirrels run around in the leaves, I saw a rabbit, I was a fish jump in the water and I began to cry, I began to scream out loud,,,, WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME? WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFERENT? WHY CANT I STOP FEELING YOU?? WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DID YOU COME INTO MY LIFE? I HAVE HAD ENOUGH HURT I DONT NEED YOURS!!! IF YOU CAN FEEL ME STOP LYING TO ME AND COME TO ME,,, EXPLAIN THIS FEELING I HAVE EXPLAIN WHY I CAN SEE INSIDE OF YOU!!!  COME BACK TO ME SO WE CAN FIGURE THIS OUT,,,,,  CAN YOU HEAR ME,,,,, I screamed until my throat hurt and I felt as if my tears would flood the lake, I watched as they hit the water down below and I felt as if I was fighting a losing battle, The Universe had played a very bad trick on me.

 

From that moment on everything with his was a game to me, I just knew he was different, the way he touched me, the way he spoke to me, they way he looked at me, the way we connected.

I had to let it go, I had to put this awakening feeling back inside of me, and I did, and i eventually went on with my life and I was right that was the last time I saw him, The time I was able to “complete mission”.The e mails got fewer and fewer. I did not need all that in my life, I met someone else and got engaged, and then out of nowhere a YEAR later a message,,,,A simple how are you doing message and then come everything flooding inside of me,,,HOWEVER  attached with those feelings were hurt and doubt, and A lot of doubt inside of me,,, wait if I can still have “these” kinds of feelings for someone else how could I marry someone? I was a mess inside and it was really all his fault!! Why did he come back into my life?

 

For months we met and talked and time stood still, but this was different as I was on a path of self destruction, it was me against everyone who had ever hurt me, and I grew into something just as bad as I felt he was, He was trying to stand in his truth, trying I say because he was not but I was getting answers, and I loved being in his presence It awakened me further, and the darkness got deeper as I knew he could see me so I had to find deeper places to hide it. I found out that my suspicions were warranted,he was married, however he had not lived with his wife for years, but had lived with someone else for nearly 9 years, so he had a wife AND a live in girlfriend, funny thing though he was still sleeping with his wife,and was lying to her and telling her he loved her and she had hung on for him all those years, all the while living another life with someone else,, and me well I was only one of MANY, he had on the side of his wife and live in girlfriend,in my eyes at that time he was a gorgeous, sexy, womanizing player! But I loved him, however so did many others, I found out he was sending them all the same “fantasies” all the same deep writings, all the ‘lines” only 1 thing was different,,, He would not be intimate with me in entirety. He was living out fantasy in each and every  woman he was with looking for different pieces of his puzzle, looking for something different in each one, he was looking for “himself”. He was hurting so many, and the big picture was the hurt he was doing to himself,,,

I watched him go through a change so deep, I watched as he confessed everything to me, I let him cry, I loved this man, I realized at this moment I was deep in love with him, but my mind would tell me over and over there was ALOT of women in love with this man! All I could do was be his friend, and go on with my life, so I was his friend and i stayed his friend as I watched him cry and confess and do it again to another woman and again to another one, and I watched as he witnessed me “feeling” his pain, I watched him and loved him as his wounds were deep, and his change was hard, he was lost. I knew I could never be with him really,,,Once a Cheater always a Cheater right??? We would confess our love for one another and we would in turn hurt one another.

 

I knew I could never really “be” with a man like this, I could never trust him, I cold never believe in him, again once a Cheater,,,,I married and it was a lie, I was not in love with him, I loved him, But I was not in love with him, I did it out of hurt,I just wanted to be loved and be the “only” one in someones life, and I knew I would have this from this man, I didn’t want to live a life of non trust, already we were connected though I could not deny that, however he would confess his love for me and the same night I could FEEL him with someone else. The Pain was hard to handle, it was unbearable, So perhaps marrying someone else was a way to throw that pain back at him, In turn I realize I was hurting a lot of people as well, I had become him, he just didn’t know it!

 

My Marriage was a mess, no wonder, I was in love with someone else and we communicated daily, We remained friends, as my marriage fell apart, In a night of hurt and to much alcohol I slept with my husband who I was already estranged from, and we conceived,,, I met with my friend and he is the one who told me i was pregnant he could see it in me. It was true, So I was living a lie with a man who I was about to have a child with, and he was still sleeping with others, still lying to his wife, and his live in girlfriend. At one point he had told me to just “come on” just come and be with him and he would raise my child as his own and we would just be in love,,, I thought about it over and over and after an argument with my husband I left and went to him, when i got to his home before I got to the door, I saw in the window and he was in an embrace with his girlfriend and they kissed, i never knocked i went him to my husband, it was what it was, we loved one another deeply but the hurt was to much, but I TRUSTED my husband and I needed that !

 

My friend and I barely spoke during my pregnancy we e mailed a bit and spoke on messenger a bit, but the communication was no where near as before,, He sent my son a gift in the mail and

we just remained friends,,,and just as fast as communication diminished it picked backup again, only this time it was a bit different he was different and I could see something about to happen, I wasn’t sure what. We met and we were “together” only this time beautiful and it was life changing and I knew he was someone I could never be without even if not physically, we were spiritually connected, we loved one another and it was evident.

 

 

We got closer and closer and I knew he was still lying and seeing others, this player was good, I had dealt with a “couple” of the women he hurt and they told me the same stories, “he said that to me too, yes he told me that too!”  uggg this man was toxic!!  and then,,,His mother was found very ill, and I watched him as he lost his mother, it was a very painful time for him, I just remained his friend, I went to the service, sat in the very back row, I just wanted him to know  I was there for him, I didn’t stick around, I left directly after. I saw him the next week and I saw something in him I had not seen before, It was different ! He cried to me, he broke down and the next few months were hell. i watched him die, I watched him split, I watched him fight and struggle, he was honest with his girlfriend who had since moved out, he actually told her he was deeply in love with me and he was direct.

 

He then went through something really really amazingly painful but so beautiful! He was honest with his wife and he started the process of divorce, my husband had long since moved out and finally just simply asked me “why aren’t you with him?” Did I mention my ex husband is a great man? SO we did it we made a go of it but did I trust him?? HELL NO!  when he stated he was in a meeting I requested a “picture” of this said meeting and he always accommodated and he understood!  What we had not addressed was the skeletons I had in my closet!  at this point he was standing COMPLETELY in his truth,he was COMPLETELY honest with HIMSELF and with me about every aspect of his past and his life.

 

We lived together until MY skeletons began to come out and why would he stay with me after all he had been though why would he stay with me he was honest with me he deserved my honesty and i never gave it to him, we separated and he forgave me and we reconnected and it happened again months later and again he forgave me and we reconnected and again, it happened again and he left me, this time for good, I saw it in him, he tried to connect with someone else as did I, I went through the same pain he went through I had to find myself, I had to fall in love with MYSELF, I had to go not my pain.

 

Now as we are both in our truth from this 9 year Journey,, we have been back out to that deck together numerous times, He proposed to me on that deck, standing in the very same place I was screaming for him at, tears fell from both of our eyes in the same water. I am in love with this amazing man and I get to spend the rest of my life with him, We share EVERYTHING we hide nothing from one another, we share a cell phone, we share emails, we share face books, we are together nearly always and when we are not, those very same butterflies I felt in 2005, i feel today when he calls from the store, when he sends me a message from Face book when im sitting right next to him.

 

I trust this man with everything i have in me, I trust him in every aspect! I trust he will never lie to me, I trust I am and always will be his one and only, I trust everything he Says to me. I believe in him, I believe in the Business we have created out of our story and out of what the universe has asked us to do, I believe in myself, I believe our running and chasing was a lesson and our experiences have already changed lives.

 

I sit in awe of this AMAZINGLY gorgeous man everyday of my life, I watch him walk and I smile I watch him type on the computer and I feel lucky, I watched him sleep just last night and I cried, He really is a genuine person, he’s gorgeous, he’s incredibly sexy, he’s honest, he’s true, he’s loving, he’s romantic, he’s passionate,hes kind, he’s generous, hes giving, he provides for us, he’s a wonderful father, he’s compassionate,and he loves me unconditionally and I love him unconditionally, I love him for what he’s been through, what we have been through, and the universe is now allowing us to teach from it.  The honeymoon stage is never ending, inside of me I still have those “forever” butterflies. The dream inside of me is awake and WE ARE LIVING IT! Relationship Reinvented was born from this connection.

 

The old Quote “Once a cheater always a cheater”  could be true, My cheater, CHEATED CHEATING do you understand that????,By going inside of the root of WHY he was choosing those actions, WHY he was hurting people. He went INSIDE, he in a sense took his own life,HE CHEATED CHEATING! and I have this wonderful man in my life, he is still a cheater, he cheated his pain out of staying alive, he cheated his story out of Defining him, He cheated everyone who knows him out of being able to say, “hes still the same old guy” “believe me he’s still lying and cheating”, anyone who knows him now and knows him then is no longer able to say that because they can see it in him! They can see by his actions and his energy that part of him no longer exists. He has cheated that quote out of being true!!   I was on that deck on September 26th or 2005 screaming for him,,,, and I will be back on that deck September 26th of this year Marrying this Cheater and I am the Luckiest Woman in the World!

I Love You Clark Kent

Love Lois

 

Can you shut off your emotions?

Do you have a switch and wonder how you can shut off your emotions!

i ignore it

Take a look here!
https://plus.google.com/u/0/events/c8152s2jsos2g6r5vf7lqo5278g

Eye C U vibrational unconditional love!

 

Eye see you vibrational unconditional love

Vibrational Energy of unconditional love

What is this exactly, well it is the true source of what the statement above implies, what we don’t see about this in energy is what this does to us without seeing it in truth.

The vibration we experience that rattles us into being always gets a push outward we don’t see how this pushes us inward. The echoes of what we become by the story we have kept inside causes this path and that path to keep us from being.

See this as a chime of sorts, we can hear it outside and dont really hear it from inside the chime, where the ringing is even louder.

If that wasn’t enough then see how this energy of connection does this to the liberty bell, the size is enough to see and hear the ringing for miles away and inside the bell is such a vibration going on, the shear age of the liberty bell matters not for the ringing and vibration continue even after can no longer hear it, how long do you think that happens? It happens for moments we don’t see because we live mainly outside ourselves in the illusion we are not able to experience what is inside of us.

So when you find a great love how does this show up when your bell is rung, it is ringing outward and we don’t see the obstacles of vibration that it has to get around inside because of the traveling done to reach our core as it does start to ring from inside you. It does get to the core that is why we lose so much in time, we start creating a thought process of how this will either be right or how this will be completely wrong.

Most who are in the despair of darkness can’t see the light, not even seeing that they are the light, and you shine this inward, you separate the being, from the ego which ignites the ego stronger creating a false self that says almost anything and everything. You can see the truth about what obstacles your story has created and you carry that, some even make the statement I have been healed!

The story is what you say inside yourself and give permission to the word healing. All healing happens and it is always on going, other than that it can lie dormant with a distorted view of what the condition are that are keeping you from cementing in unconditional love.

True love happens with the word that is first in it, true which is truth. Here is where the ego keeps you locked away from paradise and it keeps this as way to keep you from yourself and your true radiant place in being.

You have to unlock the truth and see that healing is what the word implies, you heal in past and in future always in the present moment. What you don’t hide is brought into the light and what you don’t keep locked away can no longer keep the story as the same story!

Many come and see that work has to be done, and when they go into themselves they see the deeper meaning beyond how the world of healing gives you to your true state of being. If you embrace the truth, then it renders what you see in the world as your illusion so much is granted in how you can unlock everything. Including the impossible!
How do you experience true unconditional love, is there conditions keeping you from truly seeing it and do you see that seeking this outside is hindered by the inside of you that has to go through all of the story to reach you?

What if the truth was that all positive and negative energy has created the path for you to see this more clearly in going in and doing the work to make the bell ring even deeper to feel your truth in connection. We can keep this lock on so long before it does the echoing needed to shine the radiant true love you can experience.

How do you unlock your truth? How do you keep your secrets hidden? What would happen to you if what you said was healed inside had to be gone into again to see yourself more clearly? How much love would you send out then without the variables of obstacles that can open you to the truth?

How much love would you embrace if you could be more transparent to see it ringing within you!

Love deeply,

Your soul!

Healing Series! Humbled LOVE!

 

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Humbled…  In LOVE
When we started this part of our journey, and how it has evolved over time, we didn’t quite understand what it was that was being created. It seemed as though the universe was trying to give us a message about what it was that we went through, and why we went through it. When I was looking for a new job in my career, the job market at best was just downright illusive.
We were going through how are we going to do this? And how are we going to do that! Not sure of what was going on, we decided to at least leave a place where this could all be found for those that have experienced the pains of connection we all struggle through. If nothing more, what we did to each other, we knew In the truth that we kept the torture to ourselves to each other how the activated mind would infect the soul. How with such pains, we endured would we ever find our peace in this connection? Well we did, we found our path to all conditions and then found the place where we found the switches that kept us apart in those conditions.

This led us to do what we do, and that is why it is here for free, from youtube, the radio shows, our groups, yet we did realize if we didn’t find work or find a way to sustain, we would not be with the means of internet, without computers, without a phone to communicate, and also the things that go along with it!

So to offer something that stayed with what we could do for individuals, and couples to ensure we can maintain this, we found we can take someone through to their truth for them to see themselves to break their conditions of love that keep them from the unconditional love we all deserve.

In this we decided to take the time to offer coaching, root sessions, soul guidance, in this to pay our bills, this does’t have the gifts we do have to be advertised, in such that we offer medium guidance, channeling support or any other that we are really strong with. We do what we do for survival, and when we reach our bills being paid, we give away as much as we receive. We had to find a way to support the to pay the rent to our apartment, pay the electric, etc… instead of randomly posting or not doing this at all, we can see where it would lead with more finding this truth with our words and everything we can share. We don’t hide who we are, we don’t have any reason to keep this world from the path found to unconditional love! We are reaching out to those that can find this place to hear this inside themselves, whether they can hear it or not.

 

Last year when the unemployment ran out and we started living off our retirement, our savings, our investments, I started to panic, always being a provider I was eager to work but just knew I would be working 70 hours a week again. Which is not what this union wanted, it was to the union a path way paved to bring the truth to all things love, it kept pointing to what would unlock everyone in relationships, what would unlock everyone in love in unconditional motion.

We kept writing and sharing what we endured to come into union. I know many came here and wondered if it was real or made up… Sherry was eager on placing us before the world for she kept dreaming of it and saying they need to see us. They need to see we are real! It was unbelievable the donation, the sessions and everything else that came that have helped us through what we are doing and for now, being able to do so!

The ways that others found us in this connection, and how much we were giving away in our truth that finally brought us so close together, we found the depth of love that we knew were completely unheard of, and how it brought us together! It called to us to share this! We are always together in everything we do, there was no need for a split, and it gave such a thing that you can see a union that came from pure destruction built on the foundation of finally the truth and the deep love that it can bring.

We started to offer to speak to those that hide in the dark with the soul intact, screaming inside, wanting to find answers to what they experience and what the mind has done to condemn them to never be able to share their truth. The relationship to the self whether completely broken or not needs a path to where the origin of being broken with conditions began. These conditions are made to be broken to being unconditional, We went down the path of undiscovered truth, we know in our depth in connection how this works and what it takes, and will not leave your side during this decent that you have to make a choice to go down on your own.

We didn’t realize that what we have been doing was creating a path in understanding how both masculine and feminine energy in unconditional love have great pains to endure to find out the truth to birth the truth in you and how that path needs to come to light.

We are here sharing everything, we were told to give away as much as we receive, do so with love, and expect to keep doing this as each month that goes by until we can’t do it for whatever the universe has in store for us. This includes how make our bills and keep finding a way to be here for you all! If it does come to a halt know that we are still with you and you can find all of this here. It is here with you in spirit and here with you just as it is with us in our soul!
This post is for those that don’t understand why we are marketing our services and what we do in how we do it. It wasn’t that it needed an explanation, it just needed to be placed under the light of truth which is what we are. We will keep sharing and being here for as long as we are needed and can be here to do so, we do this at the mercy of what the universe wants us to bring into the world of unconditional! You are more inside their dear soul that is why this is here! To point you to the truth!
We love you all, and thank you for being here and for finding us and for all your support! And those that seek our time and pay for it to go the path, we thank you for without you our family would not be able to continue to do as we do!

Love deeply,
Lee
with love,
Sherry

 

and family!

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Healing Series: June Month of Love!

Love what is it?
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Many of things have been written on this topic and what it means in truth. We have spent many of existences trying to signify what this ability is. When we love, we do this from a place inside that says we are something more!

Some love in material, some love in physical, and some are just not sure how to access love in the way it doesn’t have conditions.

The more pure love is without conditions the more powerful it can be to give it not just to others but to oneself. What are conditions to love, it is the thinking that infects it. examples of this are;

I love you but,
I love you and,
I love you except,
I love you yet I can’t,

All love of self, whether just being, (being meaning inside yourself) which is primary in self love, means not seeking the love in yourself in the mind. In the mind you will have thinking of past, future, right or wrong, statements of self that are illusionary at best.

Why does the mind need to be involved here and what if it is? This can be a story we say inside the mind, inside the body, a story that has a good or bad narrative. This story has such a way of infecting us in the mind and not seeking the truth about the love we are regardless. If you are reading this, and you can suddenly feel your heartbeat, then realize you are connected to love in such a way, that no story, no matter of thinking can say you are not love. Your heartbeats in sync with the person sitting next to you in school, work, or other.

The difference in all love is the story we tell ourselves about love. I was infected by the story and the story teller did such a narrative that made it possible for me to ignore the truth about all things love and also gave me a reason to think my love was tainted and a mess. All love is messy in this way. We see each other and don’t see the love, we see the physical manifestations of love but the illusions created by the story we have keep us from the depth this love can give us.

It matters not what you do with your story as far as love is concerned. Some of the most powerful moments in love have no mind regardless of what the mind will tell you. Just a simple embrace of the arms around you. The holding of ones hand, the soft touch of the jawline or even my dear favorite that my mother used to do rub my head. I know sounds kind of like a dog but as we are shown affections in love growing up we seek those that will give us these same affections as a matter of trust and of love. My mother was also very prominent of looking into our eyes to see if we were in there. At least that is what I remember from way back when.

In moments of the now, I miss those times, I know that my energy becomes almost sad as I wish I would feel those moments again, as they rarely happened to me as I got older. Yet it seemed to get my attention outside of my story as they did. I suffered a lot in my story, not feeling good enough, not feeling deserving of that kind of affection. This love was left empty and my material way of love became more of what I was seeking. For they did teach me how to be a provider and not asking or speaking about what I truly needed and wanted feel inside the story of I don’t deserve it, I am not good enough to receive that from anyone. Yes this story has such a way of showing itself to the world inside of me.

I do get to experience it when I go inside and keep my eyes closed and I can feel the love she knows she gave me and I know I experienced.

We have a choice to see the conditions we have on love, whether it could be that someone in pain caused us pain, and then we point at them and make them out to be the martyr. Yet what we do have is a choice. The choice to love them anyway and stay out of harms way for them to keep hurting us and only be there when they see they are hurting themselves in their actions and inside of their story.

If you are in love with yourself do you see the conditions you have in yourself that need to be removed? Can you see the truth of what would happen if you removed them? How deep would you love if you made this one condition on love which is to have no conditions to truly experience how beautiful you are to experience it?

If you were to lose all material in this moment, what would you give to show your love to yourself?

Love is not just a way of being, it is truly the ability to let go!

Love deeply,

Clark

Healing series April 2014: The truth is the TRUTH!

 

Polyamory truth

Healing series… Evolution of truth!
In the dominant side of thinking, we often have a voice that says things to us! This thinking is of course a protective nature or so we see it as being a protective nature that says things are ok, or not ok. When this thinking occurs, we of course can see that the truth can be as messy!  This say’s somewhere inside that a lie is ok.   It could be that you have to hide something about yourself! It could be that you are already rejecting, abandoning, or playing a mental record of something that once was. All of those are lies in a sense.

If you are rejected, do you make it ok to reject yourself? If you said no, then wouldn’t there be no discomfort on what you say rejection is. For you are holding yourself, and don’t need validation of any kind to tell you that you have been dismissed, or removed.

What about Abandonment? If someone has abandoned you, and you are hurt, and are in suffering from something that was long ago, are you trapped in lying? The answer should be yes! Yes as in the present moment you didn’t abandon yourself and now don’t make someone else responsible for it as time makes no difference you can give yourself the love that was missing in all moments and your sense of self is not going to suffer in the present moment.

When you evolve in truth, you evolve within truth. You see the pitfalls that can occur, come from not seeing the path the truth wants you to come to. If you see actions of energy outside you that you say can be repeated, and that it is still happening isn’t this in itself a lie?

In this radio discussion listed from this past monday’s healing series our dear friends Josh (a polyamorous male) with his wife Karen (a monogamous woman) shared how their truth about who they were became revealed and how deep the truth melted them to who they are together.
This was a very powerful understanding of how standing in your truth can give you the greatest love you ever experienced and how it continues to grow!
http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/04/21/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series

 

Love deeply,

Lois and Clark
aka Sherry and Lee

Healing Series: Two halves of a whole is a???

 

soul wholeness

A lie that shatters to hide your soul…  The search for wholeness!
I am not whole without you… I am whole when I am with you… This is how simple a lie can begin… It is how simple that a lie can break you down inside…
This way of thinking has a specific truth to tell you, yet it will escape you more than anything we get to experience as a human being. When you are empty inside and meet someone outside you, and you see them with such a feeling you translate this feeling with love.. Love in this sense is not derived in energy to allow the other person to feel it, for how could they you started out by saying I am empty, or you are saying with them you are finally whole…

To be whole because of another person is the lie.. This lie if hiding can be the truth about why any relationship you have can change from love to hate. It can show you both in an instant. Here is something to ponder.. When you look at someone you love and they are saying that they love you, how does it then turn to attack, criticize, blaming, etc… This is a very hurtful place in love. You want them to return to what they always were giving you in the whole that you feel inside, and as each time this happens, and continues to get greater and greater you can see that something somehow has caused you to feel the emptiness that was once there before. This is all egoic in nature of course and it is that what you feel by saying the other makes you whole is a huge responsibility for anyone to carry. You never see it this way for what you do see is that what was once there is now gone somehow. You hurt inside and you feel the void yet something in you says you can get it back.. and then if it continues you find that you are only seeking for more of the same in pain. This cycle of love/hate is almost unbearable for the glimpses of love from the start to become further and further apart.

It is almost as though anything you do will activate the ego in this way, you try to be even more loving, something comes and says you are not going to get it, not because of the empty place inside you but because the pain that you have is now activated again and the other who was to make you whole has seen it and started to share it with you. This becomes almost impossible to endure. For even when you make up another thought is about to enter them, or you, that says they are keeping you from wholeness in some way.

When someone says I don’t know who I am anymore, it is an act of violence on the self that says something has shifted in them making them think they are less somehow. They don’t feel the same anymore, they don’t act the same anymore, and you are now caught from what was once in whole as it was in the beginning and realize you no longer can keep enduring this, but you stay not because of the wholeness but because what has become normal behavior gives an expectation and a incompleteness that is complete in the mind of the ego. It says you are all these bad things, and that no one else will want you, and this is as whole as your going to get. It even can be based in material circumstances, emotional circumstances and it will give you what you fear, what you don’t want, what you can’t fathom. It even will activate the other person to start seeking something else. Someone to cover up the little bits of emptiness that have can be covered by anything even if it is just sex.

As I am explaining all of this, I wanted to go back to the very thing that was said in the beginning…. The lie itself that caused all of this.. I am not whole without you.. This is so far from any truth we can’t see it, we keep this lie and this way of being to keep us in cycle of love/hate where love truly isn’t present at all! How can it be? You are whole, not because I said so, but because within you, you have a living body that is sparked by something that was whole to begin with. It gave you purpose, it gives you the power to be present and all you have to do is go inside to see it yourself. It doesn’t take much after this realization. that you can be as you are already….

You are whole dear being!

Love deeply,

Clark