Twin flames Discussion blogtalkradio 2/18/2014

Beautiful discussion and a wonderful post which we are posting from our dear friend…  The discussion can be found on the link…

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/02/19/awakenings-of-the-twin-flames-discussion

eileenandtrevor

 

LOVE is a word that we all know; yet for so many it is so hard to connect with. Why does it seem to elude so many people and they choose to hate, destroy and cause imbalance? This occurs throughout history in a minute to minute, weekly, daily, monthly, yearly, and evolutionary pattern. There appears to be a circle we are walking around that never seems to end, constantly changing; yet we continually strive to find that universal sense of Love, both for the self and for others. At this juncture in our human evolution, our planet is going through a vibrational shift that is guiding us towards using our heart center for decision making. Whether we are aware of it or not, whether we participate in the shift or not, whether we believe in the power of the Laws of the Universe or not, the shift is happening. I do believe more and more people are awakening and they are being tugged, slammed, pushed, pulled, prodded into this vortex of a new way of being, thinking and doing.

So, what is LOVE really? Is it a state of mind, is it a feeling, and is it an emotion? When you take the time to step back, let go of all the stressors of the day, negative feelings/thoughts, and constraints, you have an opportunity to tune into what IS. What you will find, sense, feel, smell, experience is the Essence of Love. Love is not something we have to attain or we need to get from others; rather it is already a part of our existence. The reason we have had so many problems with love is we have lost the ability to tap into our innate inner knowledge of LOVE. Because of all the manipulation, control and deceit by those who have lost their connection within themselves of the love of the universe; we have been influenced to believe whatever love we know does not exist. All you have to do is sit in silence, slow your breath and clear your mind, and then amazingly you will feel a sensation unlike any you have felt before. The wonderful thing about LOVE is it can never be taken away from you; it can never go away because it is always THERE. Just as we know there is oxygen in the air but we do not see it, yet we benefit from its essence for it is this element that keeps us alive. LOVE is the element that keeps us going through the positive effect it has on the mind, body and spirit.

The key to truly understanding LOVE is to understand who you are. Think about who you are without the influence of others, who you want to be regardless of what others may do, think or say. Focus on what you want in life through joyful, positive thinking. Through the process of letting go of trying to FIND love and instead knowing you ARE love, only then can you experience this love you are looking for. Seeing what is great about YOU, those things that bring you joy, inspiration and happiness creates a balanced energy within your individual vortex. This will then extend out to others and open up their senses to align with what they want. As a result any control, manipulation or deceit that has been part of your experience will simply disappear. You will begin to see miraculous changes in both yourself and others. The feelings of LOVE will become part of your communication with yourself as well as with others. Any self talk will be focused on the beauty you have within and any negativity from others will either go away or turn into gratitude and appreciation.

Everything is made of energy and there is a time and place for us to learn what we are meant to see and experience.  This energy may exist for you in order to expand your own spiritual growth. As you reach a new understanding of each encounter with love or the opposite, your perception of the way you view life will change. This can lead to a re-evaluation of the awareness you already have and any new awareness you may be gaining. It is like adding another piece of the puzzle that may be bigger than you thought.

There is no remedy for love other than to love more today than you did yesterday

Special thanks to:

The Essence LOVE
By Eileen Bild
www.eileenbild.com
eileen@serenityexpressions.com
Facebook: Twin Flames

We love you and Trevor both…  Thank you for this! 

Madness of Twin Flames

ckquote
Twin Flame Madness….

During the moment you encounter this connection a shift happens in you that shows you Forever.. This is often the euphoric stage of the connection that is always going to be there until mind noise is activated.. As this happens something else comes to light, the activation of the truth about what you have been doing and how you interact in the world of form.. This relationship or union as it were, is filled with a subtle underlying connection that is always going to be in effect as though of the pull to the other person outside you. This is the error of what this means as it comes to how we have always had a relationship or a connection.

The lens we see through when it comes to how we view the world, and how we survive in it alone brings about a very powerful light, that will uncover the lies we have kept, as a way to be in the world. This light is within you and has always been within you. It has had shadows cast upon it which for this understanding we will call the shadow. The shadow of the former self is always there.. It was created from the place of what has always been something you adjusted to, this adjustment is to see from the voices in the head and allow them much control over who you are outside. This conflict becomes ever so present in this connection. It is there to show you how skewed the view of being human has gone from the time we were able to think as a way of being. This will serve you into such a dire pain and the digression will be for the spite of not wanting to go inside to see the truth about why you viewed it in the degree you did.

As you ascend into this understanding and this eye opening experience you will self project utilizing words that would be chaser or runner.. These are the false dynamics of the way you have been in your existence.. As you get to see each other in this light you will have a choice to see deeper into the tragedy in beauty that this did to you as a being, a human being.
The being of light you are is then shown how to change any and all dynamic.

You will be fearful to let go of any and all pain, for the pain to let go will give the pain a sense of survival mode as it were as food for the ego or mind to keep this as a state of thinking that it is outside that the problem exist. This is the greatest magic trick for it takes you far away from what the connection was in bliss.. You thinking and how you interact in the world is the illusion of why you are or aren’t together. A great void this leaves for it is an empty pain with no real truth. It tries to give you the pain to rebirth you and you elect to suffer through this as a need or a want.. and as you seek outside to find resolution or seek outside making this about the twin you will suffer greatly. Yet the greater the suffering or pain the greater the connection has something more miraculous to birth within you.

How would you experience this connection without removing the labeling the mind has done or the love the ego kept you from within yourself if you just don’t let go? How will you experience the telepathy that we are able to experience, the depth of the heartbeat of your twin beating in sync with your own. You can have glimpses of this for moments but you will always be seeking to find out why it disappears from inside you. It disappears because of the unexplored places in you that you have refused to accept within yourself and within the depth of what causes you to have moments of unconsciousness in thinking and seeking an outside understanding as to what it means.

What if I never experienced this without ever being able to share with you here what this truly can give you when you go into yourself. What if there was no seeking the truth about yourself because you found it to painful to see inside the pain to see that you now have the power to control not just your understanding of what you experienced but how you played a part in how you can now heal what is always there for you to heal by giving permission to yourself.

I have no lies to give you to lead you to your twin, only what I found that gave us the point of no return in connection that blissfully birthed in our connection. We did this from a place that was created in birth.. maybe even in death.. As energy we didn’t seek a mind way of connection we did so without the mind and that energy came in and out of many existences to become finally self aware.. that is what this reunion is to become self aware in consciousness of what the connection is that can stay in the honeymoon period for all eternity. This isn’t about what was is given in the stars of the universe but in the universe of the self that is daring you to go to the places untravelled in you to see this for yourself.

The power of being human can be challenged to the super human level when you are combined with yourself then enabled within your twin. You first though.. don’t make this about your twin, for you are your twin as much as your twin is you. As you calm yourself in the truth of what is being said here.. allow the humble love that is going to take you into this pain to show you the connection and it’s pain that you need to accept in love and no longer judge, criticize, attack, blame, mistrust, misuse or label what pain is.. For as a child you never saw this as pain coming into the abundance of love.. The abundance of love is found in the air you breathe and in the same intelligence gave your heart the beating it does while all the other things in life continue to go on this is the sink of truth.

Pain wants you to trust in what it wants to birth in you when do you see this by bringing it into the light… What stays in the dark is more than suffering, it is madness!

Love deeply my friends, even if you don’t have your twin there is something to be embraced about your pain that can free you to find the love of all existence it is just inside of you and your love you carry.

This Valentines Day allow this to be the deepest love you can give… By giving it to yourself first that way you know what you are giving to others when you say you love them!

Clark

Twin Flame! The truth to PAIN in Awakening!

SoulAwakeningThe following is a awakening conversation that was done that we were given permission to share…  It is in this awaking that something greater is spiked to illuminate those that have pain in twins and not seeing the total picture of it’s mirror effect!

 

Friend: Thank you for reading my question on your show – I heard alot of truth in all your answers xo

 

Clark: Awe

Anything else?  And again thank you so much for asking a question…

 

Friend: Some tears as I listened ultimately I know it is my truth I am avoiding – I am trying my hardest to build a relationship with someone who is wonderful but is not my twin & the more I walk this path the more I am moving away from my truth but honestly I don’t feel brave enough to leap, yet every day energetically I feel the pull. I have tried healing sessions with a wonderful healer to try & figure out the source of my pain but as yet I have no true source. It has made me stop doing healing on others bc I feel my purpose here is to assist others to their truth – if I cannot do this for myself first, how can I be of example to another?

 

Clark: You no longer make it a choice to be an example by speaking about what it is that wakes you… You go inside yourself and allow your actions to show them in your self in being!  This is how you guide my dear one… You have this beautiful love inside you that is going to birth you into pain to show you how.. You make this choice in the NOW

 

 

Friend: So I wait, for the pain to surface & rebirth me?

 

Clark: This pain is yours to call to my friend… It is not anyone else’s…. We will stand with you and hold you through it… that is what twins are here to do.. What you find on the other side will be more beautiful than you imagined…  You can see it in the now it is NOW to experience it!

 

 

Friend: I don’t know how to reach that pain love, when I think of it I cry  so ofc it is there but when I try to go into it, it disappears and all I feel is emptiness!

 

Clark: Perfect!  Stop there….What is the emptiness my friend?  Is it peace?  Do you deserve to feel peace?

 

Friend: No it isn’t peace it is nothing, a void, I no longer feel anything. The tears dry up but I feel no love either it is empty, In those moments I have asked to be shown but I get nothing, the void remains

 

Clark: My friend….  Have you ever been to space?  Or how about looked into the sky and saw space, the universe as it were?   When you look out do you see space to be.. or space that is confined to what this nothing is in the sky?

 

Friend: Space to be infinite that’s what I see – I feel beyond what I see!

 

Clark: That is nothing is it not?  This is the space created that is inside you to see the truth about your pain… this nothing is your love and it is vast… As you translate the word used here which is “nothing” where in truth it is “everything” You will not seek the mind in this place you will seek the peace that is there that is unshakable..  why not dive into nothing to experience everything?

 

Friend: I understand, within the void is the peace I search for – when ATM all I see is nothing. How tho do I transpose that into joy in my life?  I believe it comes down to my worth – or lack of self worth. When I know I am not in my truth entirely it makes me feel unworthy of love and praise for the person & healer I am. I feel dishonest…yet my twin returning to his marriage seemingly closed that door of truth for me if that makes sense – I am not angry at him but I feel we have abandoned our truth in doing so!

 

Clark: When you reach this inside the pain you experienced you come out of it holding deeply to the present moment… it is showing you the beauty that it is.. the choices you are inside of this love you have felt in your presence… The power of your presence is this awakening… You may find yourself smiling as though an infant who just came into the world.. and then when the thoughts try to translate it, watch your thoughts as though a mouse would a piece of cheese on a trap… don’t fall out of this.. pay attention to experience the world from the new eyes that nothing is wanting you to experience!   This is how rebirth happens… When you were born into the world you did this without thinking.. and the pain is wanting you to see this now.. You will be able to reprogram your thinking in this way.. It is not seeking a sense of self in thought it is seeking its way into being beyond it!

 

Friend: That is very inspiring to read ️

 

Clark: Self worth is measured by what you give yourself first, not what another can give to you.. It is mind made way of being, which started long before your twin was to cross your path the first time or second time or however it came into being.. This is how it is translated from a former experience of what pain you experienced and now are seeing it clearly… yet it being in front of you as it were.. It is like you lost your car keys for a car you no longer own… So you go with the car you got now and can’t find the keys for it either… this is not a truth.. it is a symptom that your mind has found a way to identity with a mental history of abandonment… that abandonment can be absorbed.  You no longer make this about him or the connection to him for you can’t connect to him or anyone else until you connect to yourself… do you see where this points?

 

Friend: So it is to feel my “I AM” presence beyond what my thoughts stipulate must be my presence – to know I am beyond thinking why I am?

 

Clark: You are infected with thinking… it is not your essence as you go into the pain and find nothing it is undiscovered by you to create the energy you are in truth until you stay there to create the love you are in truth!

You are beautiful… You are love… You are everything… You are nothing… this is a truth your energy is derived from a place of no mind.. why make the mind responsible for the truth of where you are this already!

This is always available to you in the NOW

ever driven someone where and were infected with thinking only to realize you didn’t pay attention to holding the steering wheel… haven’t heard anything on the radio… didn’t see the other drivers driving… didn’t see the position of the sun… didn’t see the dog on the side of road watching you go past… do you see everything?

 

Friend: Yes, When I was training with my mentor his favorite line to me was “get out of your head ” lol infected is true. I am confused a little – in layman terms when I reach that place of emptiness, I should stay there and allow myself to just feel? Is that what u are saying?

 

Clark: What is empty can be filled is this not a fact?

You are not your thoughts… You are more… Do you think that or did you feel that?

 

Friend: The driving analogy happens to me all the time I am always “off with the fairies” so to speak… Hmmm I feel I am more – why does that upset me? I cry when I feel this!

 

Clark: fairies or the voice in the head?  Ever felt your heart beat so strong you had to place your hand on your chest?  Does it happen all the time?

You cry because you don’t embrace this feeling you abandon it by thinking… what purpose has thinking shown you?

 

Friend: I just go somewhere not of here, where connection to everything is more pure – I feel and am oblivious to my surroundings!

 

Clark: Why not connect to all your surroundings…

 

Friend: Bc it doesn’t feel pure It feels earthly and awkward and draining.

 

Clark: What does?

 

Friend: My surroundings When I go off – I’m in a happy place – when I connect to my surroundings that happiness goes away and I feel heavy and drained!

 

Clark: what view do you have in this? what makes you happy?

 

Friend: When I go to my happy place often I feel connected to nature, I am noticing my surroundings but I am only allowing the beauty of it to penetrate me…when I “come back down” as it were it is usually bc someone is trying to talk to me or get my attention and I feel irritated It’s like I walk in two worlds – I know that sounds weird.   Going back to what you said about not embracing the feeling of being more – it’s almost like it terrifies me, the feeling of being more – like I am scared of it – I cannot understand why, I am scared of standing out alone, I am scared of judgement, of failure Please do tell me if you don’t have time to chat, I appreciate everything you have given me to consider so far

 

Clark: I am here, you are still seeking the energy of thinking vs being… what gives you peace what gives you love my friend?

 

Friend: Helping other people, nature, being understood, making a difference!

 

Clark: Do you give this to yourself as well?  The truth is You make a difference my friend… You make a difference in everything!

 

Friend: When (my twin) and I separated, we use to meet up once a month and walk through the bush – just walking together, the birds actually stopped to speak to us (I know that sounds crazy) we just walked as one and every issue, every concern disappeared – all that there was was love, no expectations, no right or wrong – and it was the most peace I have ever experienced I cannot seem to find that peace without him – I know I can, but I don’t know how!

 

Clark: My friend… a cardinal flew up to me when I was driving today…  it went right to a tree turned around and tilted his head to me…  I felt it.. I knew the conversation we had and why we had it… I am on path…  it is -8 degrees here.. the snow is everywhere and it is beautiful…  Why does moments to include this one, not concealed with a stronger message no matter what it is?   It is not weird, it is connected in deeper communication that needs no thought!

 

Friend: Yes exactly that is what we experience – and yes both of us have said that alone if we go to the ocean or walk in nature we can experience something close to it again too – but in my everyday life it eludes me, and honestly – that love, that peace, that joy is what I miss more than us being united.  I crave it

 

Clark: When you find the peace you find the flame that is burning.. then when you are burning brightly it will only spark your twin to do the same.. it doesn’t happen without this very thing…  The blue flame is then called to inside of you to ignite…

when you find that place where you can experience this without him is where you will burn brightly… it isn’t about him it is about what is in you this is the connection in how we connect in ourselves to connect to our twin

 

Friend: I feel the truth in that – I know the peace I search for must be found by myself alone and this is what separates us – the journey of discovery of this. I think that is why I crave it so bc I know it is the answer – I guess I am looking everywhere but within to find it huh

 

Clark: smh… Not alone.. Never Alone …. At one with the universe which is never alone!

no separation just embracing a connection that is deep within you

 

Friend: Did u do this through meditation or just taking more time out for yourself in nature?

 

Clark: I cried in pain my friend… a pain of what my truth was… I stood naked in the truth before everyone.. I didn’t hide even those I hurt that I ran from.. I faced all things ended and faced the place of pain that it caused.. I embraced it all.. with forgiveness of myself first…

 

Friend: You woke one day and just faced it all – spilled your truth like a dam bursts its walls? And just stood there feeling it all?

 

Clark: Yes the freeing truth is always painful and I cried and when I cried so hard one night I fell into a deep serenity of peace… I had lost everyone… To include both the women on this earth that could ever give me and all my lies covering the truth unconditional love…    I faced the annihilation of it!

 

Friend: Ah I see

 

Clark: For 60 days I cried and cried and cried some more… but the more I cried the more everything I had done and the pain I caused showed me to let go… to forgive…  to know what the truth in forgiveness was!

do you know what forgiveness is my friend to yourself?

 

Friend: That is what happened when we separated, I hit that point – and I did come out of it as you said with a rebirth – unimaginable joy even in sorrow – but it has all gone – I have built myself a life of sandcastles again!

 

Clark: Do you know what the truth in forgiveness is to yourself my friend?  Is it the typical forgive but don’t forget! How does that sound anyway?

 

Friend: I don’t even understand what it is to forgive myself.

 

Clark: That’s what’s missing my friend… that is why it keeps coming back!

your history can’t be shown in a life review from your guides without this.. It removes the conditions you have on yourself and what you will transmit to others…

 

Friend: So how do I even begin to comprehend what it means to forgive myself – honestly I can’t even connect to that thought or feeling.

 

Clark: Sure you can….  start with the beginning…. when was the first time you can recall in your mind that you abandoned yourself or were abandoned by someone who loved you deeply… from the very beginning and what did that pain say to you? what did that pain create in you?

 

Friend: Please do excuse me if I disappear, I am at work and if a customer comes in I will need to go, but I wanted to thank you for everything you have gifted me thus far<3  I have been through my memories trying to recall abandonment – and it always brings up a feeling of unworthiness in me like somehow I wasn’t good enough and that is why I felt abandoned

 

Clark: Who made you feel unworthy?

 

Friend: Friends at school

 

Clark: What about your parents?

 

Friend: My sister and our cousin

 

Clark: Was your father emotionally available to you?

Was your mother emotionally available to you?

 

Friend: My parents are very loving, but have always punished us by excluding us i.e. if you do something wrong you are given the silent treatment whilst the other 2 kids get alot of love and attention!

 

Clark: Ok stop there my friend!

You were excluded from things and then given silence in punishment…  What did you tell yourself inside when this would happen?

 

Friend: That I wasn’t good enough!

 

Clark: Did your parents tell you this?

 

Friend: No – it would be blah blah blah lecture on what we did wrong, then silent treatment whilst the other kids got loved up & they would smirk at you, I have a fear of doing things wrong not trusting myself! 

 

Clark: So you told yourself a lie which was… I am not good enough… I am not worthy of love…. I am “insert” what you say here…  Do you see in what it is that you need to forgive to release and heal your pain.. And then embrace the truth in forgiveness… When will you give yourself permission to give yourself the love that you didn’t receive and become your truth!

 

Friend: So I told myself the lie that I wasn’t good enough – and that is what has hurt me all this time?

 

Clark: You had unconditional love from your parents and yet experienced conditions that you placed on yourself… what did this?  Your thinking!

 

Friend: Did u know my name means “worthy of love” it’s like it was the lesson I was born into!

 

Clark: Yes… and it is conditioned to be there when things don’t work out!

 

Friend: HOLLY CRAP!!! That makes a whole lot of sense, lol I am laughing at myself right now loll My thinking perpetuated my pain by thinking things that were untrue, telling myself lies so that if things didn’t work out I had something to blame

 

Clark: My friend… it goes deeper… into that space of nothing… you aren’t opening your eyes because your mind has still skewed you to the truth in seeing this as a means of survival of the same pain you experienced… In this remove your lies… one at a time.. as you feel pain, seek the lie in it… confront your lies.. tell your parents what you would say inside… reclaim your love in truth!  Yes, some seem to say your emotional body is separate than your thinking mind.. Which in truth your thinking is the reason you emotional body becomes effected in what it says as a way of being… this is not the truth!

 

Friend: I could never understand why when I know my parents love me so much, why I felt such pain about my childhood – I even wrote them a letter when I was 9 telling them I didn’t feel loved.  I was not a brat, not in a materialistic sense, but I honestly felt unloved no matter what they did

 

 

Clark:  This is the truth in finding your truth on the rocky path… Breaking the laws of conditions that have held you from yourself to cement any connection when you are truly in this truth.. True love in truth finds true love..  Do you see how that is the truth?

 

Love deeply

Clark

 

 

Uncovering the truths about Twin Flames!

twinflames-2

 

 

Join Lois and Clark live on internet radio Tonight at 8pm withSpecial Guests Trevor and Eileen Bild as we discuss the Truths about Twin Flames!

Call in Live with your Questions or comments!

 

Click on the link below to listen in!

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/02/05/uncovering-the-truths-about-twin-flames

Lois and Clark What am I missing???

fear-of-missing-out

We had a Question posted to us about our 10 month Series, as we wind down our first month.

 

Dear Lois and Clark:

 

I am Following your 10 month series, and have been reading your posts on Abandonment and Listening to the Radio shows, and am really looking forward to next months topic on pain and Junes Topic on Unconditional Love, I have seen the flyer and understand you offer a paid version, so what am I missing just looking from the outside in and following the “public” series.

 

Sincerely

Randal

 

 

Wow, Randall, what a great Question! and one we really have not answered until Now!

During our 10 month Series we are posting in our Public Forums, and Social Networks some of our Series Information! However for our Series Members we offer quite a bit more information and fun!!

 

We have a PRIVATE group our members are a part of and we have Very Enlightening and Active Discussion 24 hours a day!  Our Members also are a part of our Monthly Workshops, where they are given personal projects to do,homework if you will  lol  We gather in the private forum to discuss these projects, often times very eye opening! We play “games” we get to know each other and get personal (only if you like) and sometimes we tend to go over allotted time because there is someone experiencing a “breakthrough” all the while with plenty of support from their fellow members as well as Lois and Clark!

 

We also have 2 live Webinars a month, where we gather and discuss the topics at hand and our personal stories and journeys and struggles.  We guide and have fun and laugh as we teach the tools to break the cycles we find ourselves in! Breakthroughs in webinars are powerful as it is video and we get to see all of our members face to face and they get to see us!!!  Often times we are laughing as a group and crying as a group, its freeing and cleansing and healing!

 

Our members also get 4 personal telephone sessions with us! and wow we have found those incredibly healing!

 

Our members also get a Personal Skype or FaceTime visit with us one on one, Fun and amazingly healing as we go deep inside and get real personal!

 

 

Also Randal at the end of every month as our members complete their series they receive by mail a certificate of Completion from Relationship Reinvented for each month completed! and at the end of the Series they will receive a very special Award of Completion of the Entire Series!

and the Healing is the best part, imagine diving into each one of these topics, going deep within and Healing the cycles within ! It is a Healing Series!!!  I hope this helped! and we are here if you have any more questions!!

 

Lois and Clark (and I forget the Big Bonus,,,, meeting Lois and Clark 🙂  lol)

 

 

Healing series!

 

 

Twin Flame Abandonment….

shattered heartIntimate abandonment…

 

When you know you are not at peace, your knowing creates a still space that

surrounds your non-peace in a loving and tender embrace and then transmutes your non peace into peace. As far as inner transformation is concerned, there is nothing you can do about it. You cannot transform yourself, and you certainly cannot transform your partner or anybody else. All you can do is create a space for transformation to happen, for grace and love to enter.

 

So whenever your relationship is not working, whenever it brings out the “madness” in you

and in your partner, be glad. What was unconscious is being brought up to the light. It is an

opportunity for salvation. Every moment, hold the knowing of that moment, particularly of

your inner state. If there is anger, know that there is anger. If there is jealousy, defensiveness,

the urge to argue, the need to be right, an inner child demanding love and attention, or emotional pain of any kind – whatever it is, know the reality of that moment and hold the knowing. The relationship then becomes your Sadhana, your spiritual practice.

 

If you observe unconscious behavior in your partner, hold it in the loving embrace of your knowing so that you won’t react. Unconsciousness and knowing cannot coexist for long – even if the knowing is only in the other person and not in the one who is acting out the unconsciousness. The energy form that lies behind hostility and attack finds the presence of love absolutely intolerable. If you react at all to your partner’s unconsciousness, you become unconscious yourself. But if you then remember to know your reaction, nothing is lost.  Humanity is under great pressure to evolve because it is our only chance of survival as a race. This will affect every aspect of your life and close relationships in particular. Never before have relationships been as problematic and conflict ridden as they are now. As you may have noticed, they are not here to make you happy or fulfilled. If you continue to pursue the goal of salvation through a relationship, you will be disillusioned again and again. But if you accept that the relationship is here to make you conscious instead of happy, then the relationship will offer you salvation, and you will be aligning yourself with the higher consciousness that wants to be born into this world. For those who hold on to the old patterns, there will be increasing pain, violence, confusion, and madness.

 

Ulrich T.

 

 

The consciousness of space is an energy that you are.. the difference in what is written here is probably the most powerfully transformative information about relationships ever written.  It is direct and to the point.  If your energy is passionate imagine what this energy must come off as if it is contained and able to be expressed.  When I was going through seeking this energy of love and it’s passion that I knew existed I realized this very important written release of what my mind was telling me.  Instead of seeking this and sharing what I wanted in passion I was entirely responsible for that passion and it’s release and it’s ability to be given.

 

The most vital experience here was to understand what it was that I dreamed and how to not try and bring that into the world by sharing the thoughts that I was about to make passionate with love from my own energy. I always dreamed of becoming dominant is very sexy dream induced sexual situations.. Mainly because the submissive energy would draw that out.. The sexiness of not being able to keep my eyes off of her.. the way she would dress, The short skirt the sexy spiked heels, the red lipstick and red fingernails that I would see digging into my ass as I pummeled away at her… It was in the meaning to be sexy, yet doing so because she would feel this in herself called to my energy in ways I haven’t been able to communicate because I didn’t know how to communicate this, yet the energy itself would ooze sexiness to me. The dream state of being this way to each other.  I didn’t understand my dreams and what they were trying to show me.  The passion of it though would wake me.. It wasn’t about the act of sex that would ensue, it was the energy of time that was being removed from being that intimate with her that I searched for.

 

Of course this can be captured without making this something you have to tell someone to do,  This energy is where I knew the connection of twins was met in her,  It wasn’t about the connection of what we shared in moments awake,  It was that mirror of when I looked into her eyes I knew she was the one who I had been dreaming this all along with.

 

Now you couple this with the other part of what we both are in the world of form and it becomes lost, every energy that I know that is out there this is the most powerful and awakening to no longer live humanly but to always be in a constant state of this dream.  For me it becomes lost because it becomes something that doesn’t have an answer to.

 

The human condition of love ensues this is the ego, and it’s demands to be what the view of the ego needs for this to be in non-peace.  The search of finding such a thing escapes because it becomes about the thinking mind it’s continued blabbing about content and labeling.   My mind states this repeatedly, “She is not attracted to me in that space anymore!”  What is wrong with me? Am I getting to old? Do I look worse? Am I not in the best shape? Is it that I don’t take care of myself by smoking?  Is my hair falling out?  Are my kisses not stirring like they used to be? Can she not see this passion in my eyes anymore to know this is still in me and has grown substantially?

 

This is a very uncomfortable state of being.   Our love making becomes more about the love and seems to suffer less in the passion of lust that I know that is still in me consumed yet it was placed there because it became out of control.…  It fed the ego the need to be with multiple women trying to find a way to quech this thirst within me.  Not because I wanted it that way, but because without a template growing up to see this happen in real time between two that were connected.. I don’t know the path to take!

 

I don’t know if I am the reason that she isn’t able to communicate or see the place inside me that this is, I know she wants to heal this as much as I do, yet the complexity of the communication doesn’t mirror this for us to see it clearly without making this a very hurtful conversation.   For this is what I was hoping we both would be able to communicate compassionately to discover it and be honest and true about it without hurting each other to understand it better and birth it into a truth that we both embrace.   I felt lost when I realized that we aren’t that way with each other and that it is unspoken yet it is the biggest elephant in the connection we share,  It is about the connection as much as it is about the mind.  This inside of me buried as it is from the mind, In my truth, it is this that causes her to seek food as a comfort, over indulging, escaping, habit forming in thought that keeps us separate in this from my mind. Then I feel her rejection that is going on in her thought process that I may be doing and am responsible for, and that energy spoken or not continues what I hear in my head and though I have these thoughts in a space I just let stay there, unsure of how to speak about it or state it being in fear it will cause conflict or pain from what isn’t healed that I want to heal in us both.   It is this which keeps her from me, in this unspoken energy it is not just in me but it is in her as well.  The physical body that we both posses is shared, and I can feel this energy in her as I do my own. Sometimes hard to breathe, or hard to push myself to move my body to do what it can do, knowing in me what it was made to do, is more of a chore than it is a want or need.  Does my truth need to be that I want her to lose the weight to remove this from us both, to be more confident, to be more sexy in herself, she is already sexy to me, but the clothes I know she wants to wear she doesn’t even own, and I dream of always buying her clothes, shoes, things I did for others that we haven’t even ventured into that I so deeply want for her and I to experience. I do have the fear I just recently helped someone who was that way and lost all the weight and works out everyday and started to dress sexy and feel good inside herself, wanting her husband to take more notice and be more sexual with her.  She came dressed to a new years eve party and he was upset with what she was wearing and didn’t see her energy as truth, instead he became self conscious and thought what she was wearing was to revealing. And that she was seeking outside attention where to her this was the furthest thing in her, she loves him and is in love with him. Yet, what ended up happening in the energy that I spoke about being in passion, was that a close friend of theirs started flirting heavily with her, feeling rejection and abandoned by the husband who when out to the store to get more party favors, It went further in his absence and it happened they ended up having sex, passionate powerful animalistic sex.  It was her resolving the feeling of being wanted, and that her husbands energy was so negative in that he wasn’t seeing that she wanted the advances from him that she now was thinking that it best not to tell him of this yet to keep the marriage in tact.…

 

I deeply fear this as anyone would, I remember when I was younger my mother who I was living with and my father who was gone showed me this same kind of energy.  I used to sneak out at night with a girl one night though I came in at about 2, The phone rang as I opened the door, I was panicked, I closed it and stepped into the basement pacing about on how to explain what I was doing up and what I was  doing outside thinking that I was caught for sure.  I then heard my mother come downstairs I could hear her footsteps then I heard her stop and then the next thing I heard was heels walking about.. High heels… Unsure of what would happen next I went into the laundry room and I heard the door open from the back and then the door to the downstairs open.  I moved quietly into this space behind the heater in which I could see through the slits in the paneling of the wall.  My mother was dressed absolutely sexy.. then a man’s voice was heard stating exactly what I was thinking.  A short skirt, spiked heels and nothing on underneath.  The next 45 minutes were filled with animalistic passion. I was lost, and I was confused and on one hand I understood what was happening on the other I was bewildered.  I had never seen passion unleashed like this, well maybe later on watching cinemax or the movie channel, but something in me wanted what happened in that basement.  Ashamed and somewhat lost, it started to happen when I tried to explain to my girlfriend at the time what happened.  Then it began she did those things to entice me.. I was captivated and lost in it.  I felt lost as to what this meant to be married as the man who was there was married and so was my mom who I truly didn’t see the same way again.  Something became altered in this view.  about two years later I became fully sexually active and got caught sneaking out. It was an explosion always in the making. I was sent to live with my father, he was living with another woman and helping to raise her son..  She was absolutely gorgeous and dressed the same as my mother was when that happened.  She was a little thing though, very curvy and didn’t hold anything back when dressing just to go to the store.  As you can see this began long before I even realized how this spiked in me.

 

In me It is a thought process in energy that I want her to be slim enough to throw around in the bedroom, dress her sexy, and find closed confined spaces that our bodies can do more things to each other removing time and removing the energy that is keeping this from being a great part of our connection.

 

Do I feel her energy in this that she wants to be that for me, rather than be that for herself.  How do I communicate this with her?  Without this causing some deep seeded pain that she is still healing from because she put the weight on to make herself seem unwanted to stop the act of violence that was done to her.  How do I see this clearly and state the truth of what we are to each other without hiding it and continuing this gap in passion we so deeply are to each other. Is this the bind that we need to keep communicating and working with together to change?  Or will this hurt her because I see her in a light that mirrors my own undoing.

 

 

 

Am I to blame the love of my life deeply embedded in my energy as she is to me, would be able to be responsible to bring something that would be what I dreamed. Is this selfish of me?  The dream was a calling!  I could feel it, and I could experience it all to myself.

 

When I went through realizing how this made me unconscious, I also realized how many I had done this to, and they couldn’t feel it in themselves to feel the energy and how powerful it was to give that to them from deep inside of me.   This had to be brought into my consciousness, not for the sake of them, but for the sake of myself and my being awake. I so deeply want this with her, but how do I speak of it and not show my truth of pain that it is very animalistic and very seductive in nature.  I was birthed into this and stayed in it my entire existence till I was awakened for myself.

 

As you find your twin this will be a very significant challenge for the voice in the head that you have  been with your entire life becomes awakened.  Blending this with your consciousness is unescapable.   The twin can see this in you as you can see this in yourself.  You know that the passion is there, you know that the passion is deep within you.  The energy is there to feel with all that you are.  The confines of what this is when it becomes dormant is what happens when the other energy polarities are placed inside you to share with you don’t have the ability for you to embrace it without their help, without there input, without there sacrifice to see that this energy is the dragon in you unleashed.  It is the vault door of your truth.  As simple as it is to undo, there is the sense of abandonment that you feel will follow if the other can’t see it the non peace that you are in when you try and speak about it or communicate it from a place deep within you.

 

Being vulnerable in this is where this most emotional places within you become your strength.  I wait for the place this is.  Yet not communicating it made it stale and made it predictable. Yet the unpredictable place of how this becomes combined in our connection is what I want her to experience with me.

 

I am scared, I am unsure, I am…

 

My love for her so strong for what I am to her because she opened the door to what I was inside myself to myself.

 

Your I amness sprouts from the energy of what is deep within you not within someone else. You bring this into you as you would the air you breathe.

 

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

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Intimate Abandonment !

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The other day I was listening to a commercial and the commercial was about female Hormone Replacement Therapy, the commercial had women giving testimony on how the therapy was working for them. One woman in particular stated, “My husband is so happy, my sex drive is back and I cant keep my hands off of him”!  Me having some marketing classes under my belt, I thought wow that was genius. How many husbands are going to be wanting their wives to get this therapy” ? This commercial was geared toward men and not their wives.

I began to look at my own life and wonder if I  was just the exception, I dont need hormone replacement therapy, my hormones are always in overdrive, I began to look back at some of my former writing which surprisingly still all remain true, I found this.

“ I dream of Love Making so hot , so raw it has no boundaries, I dream of an undeniable touch,  a look an energy that is so strong there is no question what is about to happen, there is no human emotion or walls built up, there is no assumption about what he is feeling, I know without doubt he is wanting the very same thing.”

Human beings seem to somehow put a bridle on passion, we no longer are spontaneous or free with our passion towards our partner, for example all day yesterday I just wanted him, I needed him, I looked at him all day, lusted after him even in the oddest places and times, When he was driving, when he was working, when he was sleeping, when he was eating dinner, I watched him and I wanted him. But I did not act on it at all.

With children in the house sometimes unfortunately some things need to be discretionary , thats understandable, however passionate kissing and sneaking off into another room for a quick make out session, or a grab in the kitchen, or a touch or a look or few words whispered in an ear, that is passion that will lead up to quite an experience, why do humans put love making in a time frame? Mine has none, however I have found myself conformed to human standards and find myself more and more frustrated with those standards.  Why do I do these things, Why do human beings schedule times for Love making? Making Love should be held in the bedroom at bedtime, What??  Who came up with this? Why cant we be passionate all day every day, why cant we make love to one another all day everyday even if the actual act of love making has to wait until a more appropriate time, I feel passion all day, I wish for nothing more but to stay in that energy and stay in it with him. I have no desire to find excitable passion and hot sex, or passion with someone else I want it with him always.

I found this in an e mail sent to us last month from a woman in Illinois:

I find myself in some type of cycle, a cycle of waiting to see what he wants, waiting to see if he’s to tired and just wants to go to sleep, or if he’s not feeling well, and i should just let him rest, I even have found myself really wanting to touch him in the morning and holding back because “he probably” needs to go to the restroom and I dont want him to be uncomfortable, I do that more often than not and then find myself frustrated and eventually without his knowledge of the real issue I have an attitude as if its HIS fault.

I am stuck in a human world of waiting for him to make a move when I have so much sexual energy inside of me I feel as if I could burst, last night I just wanted to unleash it, and he came to bed and our oldest son was not home yet, and he left the bedroom door open to make sure we heard him come in, after about 30 mins he did, the door was shut and we made love and it was amazing, however I found that I was already in the “mindset”  that he was not “wanting me” and well “the mood” was not there, I had to clear my energy before I could begin to enjoy myself.

Its funny how the saying the mind is a very sexual organ, It is very much true, I love sex, I love to make love, I love passion even more and I seek a life full of it with him. I find that my mind most times gets in the way, assuming what he wants or dont want. Aching for him so often and finding myself so frustrated because that is not fulfilled inside of me, wanting to touch him, longing to feel him kiss me like he wants me and no one else, touching me like he cant wait until the time comes where he’s so excited he has no choice but to find somewhere to release at least a little energy. Uninhibited passion. An Energy everyone around us experiences. 

I was abused at a young age,I was told I was not worthy of someones love and would only be “Used” because that is what I deserved, for many years I allowed my mind to repeat those words and I continued the abuse on myself, I awakened and I realized who I really am. Does he see this? Does he know I am always looking at him? Does he know of this passion inside of me? Have I abandoned myself and my desires and my dreams?  Have I just allowed everyday human life and human scheduling to mold me?  Have I abandoned my sexuality, Have I abandoned my Passion? Have I abandoned who I really am? I no longer want to do this to myself, I no longer want to keep this boxed up inside of me, I no longer want boundaries, I no longer want schedules, I no longer want this cycle. How can I break free if he is stuck in his mind?

Its been 8 years since I met him, its been a rough 8 years, we have been through hell and back numerous times, however I still look at him like I did the very first time I saw him, I still lust for him always, I still long for him all day everyday! I still see his soul through his eyes, I still watch him walk, I still sniff his t shirts when he’s not around just to smell him, I still watch him sleep, I still want to care for him and make sure he’s ok, I still and always will love him unconditionally, I want him and only him. He’s amazing, he’s kind and loving and loyal and  he’s helpful and generous. He cares for our family and he provides for us, So what more could I possibly want? I just want him to pin me up against a wall, I want  him to hold me down, I want him to tell me in my ear he wants me,I want him to come to bed with no under ware on, I want him to sneak me off into the bedroom and kiss me passionately and let me know later when everyone leaves what is going to happen, I want him to keep me in suspense, I want him to want me as much as I want him. 

If he does how would I know? 

I would make him so damn happy he would be on an all time high!

Maybe he just doesn’t want me? I dont mean just sexually I mean Passionately, give me a reason to dress up, give me a reason to be naughty, give me permission to show you who I am! 

maybe he just dont want me like that, maybe he just dont see me like that, a life of  constant passion?

Why does my mind want to continue to tell me reason after reason why he shouldn’t, or why he don’t.

 What would happen if I just let all of my guards down, If I unleashed all of this passion and desire? To be accepted for it would be bliss, to be rejected for it at any time would be detrimental, and if he’s waiting for me to show him, why would he not help me by simply breaking some of his walls and showing me, its as if there is an unspoken elephant in the room that keeps saying, “wait for her to make a move”. 

He should be able to see I am scared and he should be able to feel my energy. Why is it so hard for him to just be the aggressor and except that all the while knowing I am wanting him at all times there is no bad time! If he made an effort to help me unleash this passion would he not feel the energy more strongly?

Do you feel her husband knows this information and is just rejecting her? Has she told him she simply needs him to be the “aggressor.” Does he feel unwanted because she is rarely the aggressor? If she’s responding to his advances EVERYTIME without ever rejecting him should that not tell him he’s wanted always? Or does he feel she’s just not that sexual?

Is there really this bad “stigma” that women dont enjoy sex, and men are pigs and that is all they think about, In this instance did this man assume his wife was not interested in him and he stepped out of the marriage to  “feel wanted”? That Stigma still rings odd to me because that seems to always be on my mind and I’m female. We can be at the grocery store looking at produce and I get a sniff of his cologne or I look at how his jeans fit and I get turned on, I find myself even when I am sick with a stuffed up nose wanting to be intimate with him. All he has to do is give me that look, or touch me, there is NO rejection, Never, he can wake me up out of a dead sleep and I would be ecstatic, I could be passing a kidney stone in severe pain and still welcome his advances. It dont matter if I have a severe “Headache” if he wanted to make love I know it would help my headache.

Why do humans make this so difficult? Why does the mind tell you if your not getting it at home, you can get it somewhere else, why is the excitement of an affair often the reason they continue. Why are we finding reasons to NOT find this excitement with our partners, the ones we share our lives with, the ones we love. Why is the answer always abandonment, abandon the commitment, abandon the relationship, abandon the communication, abandoning ourselves. and our desires and our dreams? Imagine if we all unleashed all of our passion on our partners, Imagine the marriages that would be healed, the relationships that would flourish, Why would you need to abandon your commitment, if you were fulfilled at home with your partner, Does it not start with You? What is it you are Abandoning? Your partners needs/desires? Are you abandoning your communication? Are you Abandoning YOUR desires?  Looking into ourselves are finally figuring out what it is we are abandoning and why it would cure a world of assumption and “mind noise”.  How could it not?

Love and light

Lois

My dear Past,

OUTATIME-carMy dear PAST,

I am writing you this letter so you can keep it close to you to understand why I am leaving you, you have given me second guesses, you have made life with others tolerable, and you have always given me the perfect reason to hide myself from others who didn’t deserve it!

I wanted to also inform you that because I will not be with you any longer I am going to accept the present moment more fully as my committed partner for existence here.  You always didn’t like the present moment and I get it, the present moment is a very sexy thing to try and compete with.  I know this will be hard for you and I hope that some day you will understand that it wasn’t you! IT WAS ME!

I just couldn’t be the man you wanted me to be repeatedly. It made me hard to understand, it gave me excuses to have pain that I would inflict on others. I just didn’t feel that was right of you to do that!  I had many affairs on you, I would sneak and meet someone and not hold their past against them and they wouldn’t hold my past against me (hell there were times you told me it was ok to keep it from others).  Then somehow, someway you would convince me to sleep with you again.  That wasn’t right. I did eventually leave them for you. Cause you were just to intoxicating for me to remove from myself.  I do want you to know I have released you from any alimony or child support. In other words you no longer have to pay for trips back down memory lane that will make me make a decision to endure your kind of pain. Cause my future will remain unknown to me.  Me and the present moment have spoken to this in great lengths. It is again not about you… IT IS ABOUT ME. I just realized it!  The present moment also said that I could not have any affairs with a little part of you or the future. So I know that this was a trying message to read.  But I thought I would leave a few things for you to realize going forward in the terms of the restraining order.

1) You are not allowed to come into my life to try and tell me what is going to happen, you must remain more than a mile away from me at all times.

2) Any lie you hear me tell myself about love, you are not allowed to come in and give it validity.

3) Anger, resentment, punishment, are mine to take in that moment as I take it, it will not build!  You have a restraining order PAY ATTENTION TO NUMBER 1 RULE!

4) You under no condition will try and tell me what love is or what it isn’t!  Your the past you can’t possible know what love is in this moment. Hence why I am leaving you for THE PRESENT MOMENT!

5) Don’t try to surface telling me I will be more protective and guarded of myself and my experiences that are in the present moment with you around. You aren’t psychic so stop claiming to be you have a catalog of history be a history teacher not a present moment connoisseur. I am not going to believe it to repeat it!

6) YOU ARE NOT THE BOSS OF ME!  THE PRESENT MOMENT GAVE YOU YOUR TERMINATION PAPERS! READ IT AND GET TO STEPPING!

7) I believe I can fly without you, in other words you clipped my wings for long enough with your ability to tell me who I was with repeated memories of pain and more pain. My wings got weighted down with tar thanks to you.  NO MORE!

8) You are not allowed to use my mind against me. You can not find a way in manipulating things that i currently doing trying to show me all the different scenarios of what is to come based on results that were in the past.  Again this isn’t about you! It’s about ME!

9) You are not allowed to find a pathway into dreams, into day or night or other. It isn’t that I don’t love you completely I do in fact hence why I am letting you go completely.

10) Don’t take my love for granted, it will grow now because of your absence. It will realize there never had to be a limit and it will heal in your absorption of love I have inside me to make me the man she needs and wants. The present moment sends love your way, that you will find peace.

These are the guidelines for this divorce and I know you will have no choice to but to abide my wishes as it would show me how much you don’t love me by breaking these rules!

Wishing you luck finding another to pursue this with,

Clark Kent Esq.