Healing Series: Two halves of a whole is a???

 

soul wholeness

A lie that shatters to hide your soul…  The search for wholeness!
I am not whole without you… I am whole when I am with you… This is how simple a lie can begin… It is how simple that a lie can break you down inside…
This way of thinking has a specific truth to tell you, yet it will escape you more than anything we get to experience as a human being. When you are empty inside and meet someone outside you, and you see them with such a feeling you translate this feeling with love.. Love in this sense is not derived in energy to allow the other person to feel it, for how could they you started out by saying I am empty, or you are saying with them you are finally whole…

To be whole because of another person is the lie.. This lie if hiding can be the truth about why any relationship you have can change from love to hate. It can show you both in an instant. Here is something to ponder.. When you look at someone you love and they are saying that they love you, how does it then turn to attack, criticize, blaming, etc… This is a very hurtful place in love. You want them to return to what they always were giving you in the whole that you feel inside, and as each time this happens, and continues to get greater and greater you can see that something somehow has caused you to feel the emptiness that was once there before. This is all egoic in nature of course and it is that what you feel by saying the other makes you whole is a huge responsibility for anyone to carry. You never see it this way for what you do see is that what was once there is now gone somehow. You hurt inside and you feel the void yet something in you says you can get it back.. and then if it continues you find that you are only seeking for more of the same in pain. This cycle of love/hate is almost unbearable for the glimpses of love from the start to become further and further apart.

It is almost as though anything you do will activate the ego in this way, you try to be even more loving, something comes and says you are not going to get it, not because of the empty place inside you but because the pain that you have is now activated again and the other who was to make you whole has seen it and started to share it with you. This becomes almost impossible to endure. For even when you make up another thought is about to enter them, or you, that says they are keeping you from wholeness in some way.

When someone says I don’t know who I am anymore, it is an act of violence on the self that says something has shifted in them making them think they are less somehow. They don’t feel the same anymore, they don’t act the same anymore, and you are now caught from what was once in whole as it was in the beginning and realize you no longer can keep enduring this, but you stay not because of the wholeness but because what has become normal behavior gives an expectation and a incompleteness that is complete in the mind of the ego. It says you are all these bad things, and that no one else will want you, and this is as whole as your going to get. It even can be based in material circumstances, emotional circumstances and it will give you what you fear, what you don’t want, what you can’t fathom. It even will activate the other person to start seeking something else. Someone to cover up the little bits of emptiness that have can be covered by anything even if it is just sex.

As I am explaining all of this, I wanted to go back to the very thing that was said in the beginning…. The lie itself that caused all of this.. I am not whole without you.. This is so far from any truth we can’t see it, we keep this lie and this way of being to keep us in cycle of love/hate where love truly isn’t present at all! How can it be? You are whole, not because I said so, but because within you, you have a living body that is sparked by something that was whole to begin with. It gave you purpose, it gives you the power to be present and all you have to do is go inside to see it yourself. It doesn’t take much after this realization. that you can be as you are already….

You are whole dear being!

Love deeply,

Clark

Healing series: How do I stand in my truth?

writing on the wall

 

How do I stand in my truth?
One of the most uncomfortable challenges of being human is seeing the truth vs. a lie.. We are born into this world without experiencing both positive and negative, so to not understand how we learn to tell the truth or a lie is unknown to us…
As we are infants we see energy we see those that show us love, some show us like and some show us something else.. As we come out of infancy we experience things more common in communication, Bobby is hungry. Mommy, Daddy and there are a list of words… Then as we get just a few years more.. The things we see are explained or not explained.. This part is where the lies begin, we are told we are to young to understand, or words are spelled out in front of us to exclude us from things. Or the energy is offset and we have no explanation why. We in turn start to say this energy is something we caused.. Therein lies the first of many lies.. As young as we are we start to say things inside. We don’t see it and don’t comprehend it, we just know that we are seeking the unknown and when we don’t have words or are shut down for any reason we know that we are experiencing something we now make something about something we are feeling on the inside.

Depending on what others say to us or how their energy is to us, we hear a voice inside that starts to say things that mostly leave us without a purpose or an identity in purpose. We have a mind that starts to generate this and state that and it really never is that someone says something hateful to us, we say it to ourselves…
Now as you can imagine this becomes based in a space that causes us to view everything skewed.. Is there truth to what you see? Not really, it depends on what you are surrounded by when it comes to understanding the actions of others, whether it be your father, your mother, your siblings or just in general other kids.. If you are bullied it can even be magnified even more.. This lie is a lie hurting others because of the lies that say inside that violence or bullying is a way of being in the world. Picking on someone who hurts worse than you do, it is all filled with lies.. Lies that you are not worthy of love, you are not much to anyone, no one can be nice to you, you are disabled from love… This is all the myriad of lies we have.. It starts with our first form of abandonment. rejection, abuse, punishment, confusion with no real explanation that creates a place to understand the actions. You see it can go way deeper than what I am even stating here. Broken trust in what anything is for what it is, because you know love within you!

You know it yet it doesn’t show itself to you, because of the things you have within you without seeking the truth in it. I had seen a little boy recently, he was sad… and I said are you ok? He looked at me and with the saddest most beautiful eyes he said to me… I don’t have a daddy… I said yes you do, I will be your father… He said well what about my real dad, I said son, every father has had a father that possibly didn’t show him the love that a dad can give. I can give you this.. The little boys eyes welled up and I held him why we both cried.. It was the most powerful hug I ever felt… As he cried he screamed, why doesn’t he love me? why doesn’t he want to see if I am ok? Why doesn’t he call me? What did I do that was so bad, I will take it back! I will be a good boy… The more I held him, I listened to him cry out.. all of his truths… He just wanted his father to love him, and tell him he was worth the world to him, and that he was proud to have him as his son. I listened as I heard the lies begin…

I am worthless, I don’t want to be anything when I grow up, I am not good enough for anything, I am not worth loving… I hurt inside because my father wishes I was never born… My heart was breaking for this child.. I couldn’t hold him any tighter for fear I would hurt him. I said it just isn’t true… He said yes it is! As loud as this boy was screaming I could feel the pain coming from him, coming from what he felt inside. The fear, the abandonment, the torture he was under from being attacked from his mind over and over. He finally said… I hate my father… I said Son… you can’t hate your father it just isn’t true none of it.

He tried to pull away… I said what is a father to you? He said not the man who is my father, and I said so how can you hate him for being something he is not? He paused… it was as though something in him shifted.. He was quiet for a long time and then wiped tears from his eyes and said… What do you mean how can I hate him for something he is not? I looked at him and said do you know your grandparents? Grandma or Grandpa his parents? He said yes, I said what do you know about them. Well I know my grandma very well, I see her all the time, and I said what about your grandpa, well he died when I was young but he wasn’t there much for the family! So I said well son, if his father wasn’t there for him, where would you father learn to be a father? His silence was overwhelming. I said you know that pain you feel for your father not being here for you? He said yes! I said can you forgive your father for not knowing how to be a father to you? He said I guess so…. I then pulled him back and looked into this child’s eyes. I said son… No matter what you say inside, your father loves you, he loves you but to be something he was never taught to be with no template how successful will he be? would he make a good father to you?

His eyes as swelled as they became, looked at me and said I suppose not! I looked deeper into him and could see a release from what he felt in anger. I said do you realize how deeply he does love you can you feel it in your heart, that even thought he is not in your life, that heart beat you have is the most unconditional love he gave to you?

He said yes… so I said don’t reject the heart that beats for you.. love you so you can love others and more than that forgive what you don’t know for being upset with things you can’t know will only create suffering. Can you stand in this truth?

Yes, well I am your father and I will be for as long as I am breathing. It was then I felt such tears… Yes the little boy was me and I was speaking to the inner child that always seems to show himself when he isn’t connected inside.

 

How do you stand in your truth?

 

 

Love deeply,

Clark

 

 

The soul of a man….

My son wrote this… and it is powerful beyond measure… so I am sharing here because it is deep and profound….  I love you my son!

CP

Ladies & Gentlemen,

If you ever fall in love..
Fall in love with someone who wants to know your favorite color & how you like your coffee. Fall in love with someone who loves to hear you laugh & does whatever they can to hear it often. Fall in love with someone who puts their head on your chest to hear your heartbeat. Fall in love with someone who kisses you in public & is proud to show you off to anyone & everyone you meet. Fall in love with someone who makes you question why you were ever afraid to fall in love in the first place. Fall in love with someone who makes you realize you are winning the race. Fall in love with someone that will show you that when you hurt, he or she will hurt with you. Fall in love with someone who will spend years with you & will still always flirt with you. Fall in love with someone who falls in love with your flaws & thinks you are perfect just the way you are. Fall in love with someone that shows you how to stop leading with your brain & start leading with your heart…

 

 

 

My son…

 

You are a brilliant writer.. and your true essence comes through when you let go and just let it flow!  I am proud of you!  You touch me to my core and say words that I always felt within me!

Love,

Dad

 

Trust in your life? Healing series March week 3 2014

When-Trust-is-BrokenWhat is trust if you don’t have it in your life? or what if it is broken?

 

As a child I always trusted in everything, as I did this it was abandoned in nature, I cried a lot, not because I was abandoned by anyone in truth, but because my thought process betrayed me and I trusted that it would.

 

No matter how deep you see into what you experience, or did experience, or what is to experience, you will lose something in yourself that doesn’t keep you planted in yourself.  You can feel the trust escape in this way.  You trust you will experience everything that is harmful to your being human..

 

Being human…. How do you trust being human when you trust in a way that is only going to give you what you ask for in trust.   You trust you will be alone, you trust that you will be enraged, you trust that you will be without, and then all of that manifest itself to give you what you asked for in the first place.

 

When you say you just want to be happy do you trust this? Do you just go into the present moment and elect in trust to be happy?  Do you feel trust is always a moment away or that it was something you had back then?  What is trust defined as?

 

As a noun it is ….. a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

 

As a verb it is….. Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.

 

Although it seems it is action, it is an energy!  How does trust become energy, really go into this here for this is the awakener that we found we didn’t even pay close enough attention to as we thought we were losing our minds.  When you lie inside you then become immersed in what that lie is not protecting, it is not protecting you or protecting those that love you.  You hurt inside because of this and you don’t trust what the truth can give you!

 

Let me give you something that I trusted inside myself.. and you tell me what choices you would have made.  I trusted that I was always going to get hurt by others, I trusted they were hearing me, but not listening.

 

Even the core of why I found myself which this inside my deep love I have for the love of my life, made statements to me, to challenge my trust to challenge, what I was feeling.  “My love is even a part of this, she said to me “Clark! You are up here!  And the rest of us are down here!”

 

This was said to me over and over as I had started to find my awakening.  It hurt, not because I thought I was higher or embracing a higher self, or lower self than what was outside me to now be awakened by interactions,  but because I was waking up rapidly and my trust was expanding inside me. The things that were said would hurt me, and I would think in ego to become quite frustrated.  Not seeing it was ego in hurt, as a defense of trust saying, I couldn’t be heard… and I trusted it completely. I trusted I would be better off keeping my awaking to myself in silence.  I tried to contain what I was going through, I tried to explain what the pain was inside of me, and as I continued on my path I realized I wasn’t doing anything with the trust in what I was experiencing an allowed myself to trust in completely.

I did realize that I couldn’t see higher or lower, all I could see was what was within… I trusted what I was experiencing in that moment as I do now.. What was in that, what is seen as higher is unattainable what is seen as lower is easier to go to, yet it gives you the outside view of the truth.  What could I trust by finding what most call the higher self.. I trusted that going inside was the truth to what this was. I trusted that the answers coming from me where the truth about this thing that most need to attain to be.

 

I didn’t need to come to a higher way of thinking, I went into A inner part of being.

 

I could see that this was there as a truth to be something more, it was the undiscovered places inside of us that we aren’t paying attention to, to trust.   I trusted in my own pain, I trusted I needed to go into the pain to see what it was,

 

I trusted in my desire to find the depth of love, only to realize it goes deeper than we can see cause we are beings of trust, who trust out, not trust in!  If you haven’t seen the connection to how you trust in yourself vs what you trust outside yourself,

 

What would you trust in you as a human being here to dive into something within you that calls to you?

 

Well Clark, how does one go to a path no one is talking about doing?

 

How much attention is paid to how you trust your heart will keep beating in this moment? How much love is that capable of to do that very thing?

 

To answer the simple question, What is trust if you don’t have it in your life? This question is false in you…

 

You trust that you can read this and you do! You trust you will get to something and you do!  You trust your heart will continue to give you unconditional love and it does, for you wouldn’t be able to read this right now and say wait a minute do I trust deeper than I think.

 

The answer is YES!

 

Your knowing knows this, and it trust it will wake you to the depth that what you say in words will not impact the unconditional love your heart will give you when you stop and pay close attention even the pain that can be felt from thinking will lessen when you focus the energy of trust that your heart is giving you in all moments.

 

Isn’t that the source of where trust derives from in the first place?

 

 

Isn’t it the source of all?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

Powerful awakening of what happens to our core when we trust inside ourselves!  Watch below!

Do you trust those that love you? Healing series March 2014

trust1

 

 

Do you trust those that love you?

 

 

The intent of trust is something that we still make about other people not seeing that we have broken something inside that is broken inside the self.  Trust is a very powerful word that becomes instilled in us at an early age.  We trust we are not abandoned, we trust someone will protect us from pain or suffering, we trust we will be loved unconditionally.  When this doesn’t happen what does it do to our trust?

 

Well let’s list these 5 things to show you trust in action or as an energy these 5 things are random yet will give you an idea you will find that you will find other words that show up in trust that you may or may not be seeing.

 

Abandonment

Abuse

Loyalty

Communication

Addiction

 

 

Abandonment – if you experienced this as a child born into a world with the love you have inside and you become abandoned by those that are supposed to love you without conditions you will then see that everyone will abandon you, you trust it! You trust as you find love finding you getting older you will trust that it will abandon you and you make choices to be with someone who will abandon you, not because of what happened to you as a child but because of what you told yourself inside that gave you the same energy to abandon yourself and make poor choices to make sure you find abandonment as an energy even someone who normally doesn’t abandon you will be infected with this energy in trust you have for yourself and will abandon you without even seeing that they are getting this energy from something you have hidden within you.  Why not embrace this about yourself to not abandon yourself in this? Wouldn’t this be how you remove or heal this very thing?

 

 

 

Abuse – You lost trust because you were abused and you trust that you will be abused again feel the emotional truth of this and it will be a way to keep you protected, isn’t that trust? You even will find abusive relationships because the abuse brings you aliveness and you trust this as a part of your aliveness.  It is not as sick as you might think, for the thinking is saying you will be hurt, you will be emotionally distraught where in truth you are distraught even before this happens.  It is dormant for a period of time but in the back of the mind where the ego is accessing this pain and trauma, it exist within the emotional existence of a past experience you call to.  This story inside as the story teller demands this be something you are still a victim of.  Trusting in victim energy is always painful and always addictive. This story is always there for you to trust in.  It’s purpose in trust is that you are pain and that pain has to be emotionally embraced and you must trust in that pain as a way of being.  Not seeing that the trust is very deceiving and that it will only call to more of the same in energy that infected you in the first place.  There are very disturbing truths about what someone endures that will do this to others. Yet when it happens to you, it infects you and takes you over and you trust that it will and so it does.

 

 

 

Loyalty – If your loyal it is a trust factor because you see that being on someones side is always a way to receive trust in return.  Yet when this is lost with one and then another and then something else. You will hide inside and keep to yourself, you will even say you can’t trust anyone and those who shouldn’t be trusted find you highly attractive whether for a love relationship or other.  They will betray you because you emit the energy of betraying yourself from what has happened to you. We raise ourselves to break cycles… the cycle of what this trust does breaks that breaking of cycles.  In other words when you stop trusting yourself you no longer become loyal to yourself and then others who are not loyal to you or themselves will find you.  So you decide to find someone who won’t hurt you and you find someone safe who won’t do you trust they will find out why you choose them and then the trust of that trust in them will start to be questioned?  Trust you will find loyal and you will but trusting that you are not able to trust yourself will give you this for a little while and the symptoms of this will give you something else in this process.

 

 

 

 

Communication – You trust that someone will communicate with you and when you stop communication you expect them to give you the communication you stopped giving to them.  Do you trust that they will give you something you won’t give them or yourself?  Yes, you in there deep somewhere in you, you do!  It is not on purpose it is by energy in purpose the broken record of communicating the same thing over and over again which is toxic to all communication especially the communication shared on this planet.  We even use communication to attack in ways to communicate broken trust that we will be harmed in the process thus elevating this truth and it is returned. We are hurt because we trust that we will be hurt.  Do you see the energy in motion this causes us is directly embedded in how we communicate without trust.  Recently we had someone come to us about someone they met, they told them they were single because the last relationship they had they were cheated on again… they said they always seem to be cheated on.  Do you know what energy transpired from this? Do you trust that what this communication did was actually seeking this type of energy to begin with?

 

 

 

 

Addiction – When you trust that you have an addiction isn’t that only giving the addiction power. I was a sex addict, I was addicted to sex, and when I told myself that I felt an overwhelming feeling, it made it easy of saying well it is a part of me that I can trust.  And so, it made it so!  Addiction to anything is a trust behavior that allows the symptoms to be dismissed instantly. You will not easily accept what the root of those symptoms are, you trust that you have it to cope with everything. The deep truth is in the dark to you and when you feel dark it only activates the trust you put in your addiction! I know this for it was me in all the addictions I could become addicted to.  The darker you felt in the addiction the more you can trust that very thing will help you continue to feel dark.  Trust is powerful it is a dependable friend that the ego can use to make you pay for being disconnected from yourself thus being disconnected from everyone else. Making sure you can trust any lies and seldom any truth that is not being noticed!

 

 

How is your trust? Can you see it clearly?  Is it dependent upon others who will break this trust in you?  Or is this already there in you because you do trust yourself negatively or don’t trust yourself positively?

 

See how trust is being used in ego to make you completely right in what the trust will give you without seeing that it gives you what is broken within you?

 

Do you feel this in truth to trust it?

 

Who would you be if you saw trust in this way? What would you start trusting and what would you stop trusting?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

How deep is your Trust? Healing series 2014 March – Trust!

trust-fall-580x275

Broken Trust?

I can’t forgive you…  I can’t be with you… I can’t do this anymore…  I can’t..  Whatever this is has a way of bringing you to a very shaky foundation in trust… We use these words in ego to signify that something in us is broke.  When you become unstable in this way of trust the choice to make the right decision always will seem as though you are teetering from what is hindering destiny from coming to you…  I can’t is the same as I won’t or the other words that follow such as i’ll try, or I am potential… the trust in all of this is on shaky ground. Isn’t it?

 

I have doubt, is also apart of trust.  When you trust something will fail!  What does it show you in the end that is the truth about what you said it would do happens…and…. FAIL will not abandon you!  Then that what you said becomes that you were right!  Is that what you are saying inside? A majority of us do!  What about when you say I have been let down by others… Is this trust as well.  Yes it is, because you are trusting that this will always be what you will receive outside you, don’t worry it does!  Trust is a very powerful energy!

 

 

I have been through trust training and I realized that I didn’t trust a thing years ago and still didn’t wake up to it..  You can tell how much you trust when you do the trust fall… You always fear that someone will not catch you, and you will hit the ground, and get hurt.  Sound like some choices you keep making in your existence here?

 

Another is the blindfold lead where someone is leading you and has to direct you with their common sense of directions..  The failure in that is that they can’t see what sinkholes are placed cause they are trying to get you through the trees… Someone who is completely aware of your path by leading this in front of you will always tell you the truth.  They will endure the path with you and not lead you astray…. Do you see how this can be difficult without trust?  Especially if they are not having you walk without them directly in front of you.  How will they ensure you won’t get hurt if they are not willing to walk the path with you?  Pay attention, the message here is deep!

blind

The awakened truth about trust is that you trust you have one more day to do something significant, you have one more moment to make a difference in your own being and yet we all get caught up by the same choices doing the same thing over and over again.  We find comfort in this energy of doing the same thing cause we trust it!  Having the same thoughts, we trust nothing changes so it doesn’t.

 

When I decided that I was going to live in truth I realized that I didn’t trust… I didn’t trust I would be accepted for the truth and it proved me right.  I wasn’t accepted… It wasn’t until I realized that being in my truth needed my trust just as much as I needed my love to get me through this broken trust.  The conditions of what my love gave me were without trust.  Do you see how unconditional love is?  It needs the very thing you won’t give to break you free of what you don’t give to yourself.  Telling my truth should their be conditions of who I can tell or what I can do with what I trust?  The answer was always no!  I had to trust that telling my truth was going to show that I am very truthful. I will call out to the truth and trust that the truth finds me more truth.

 

 

When I was abandoned and I abandoned others, was it related to trust.  Yes, I didn’t trust myself and in turn didn’t know in truth if I could trust others.  I didn’t know if I spoke from my pain if I would be accepted I trusted I wouldn’t!  If I could be damaged could I trust that I would be loved unconditionally? Can you?  I realize now that was just a lie that I was living inside myself that gave me the ability to walk away so easily from others.  Not wondering if they hurt by my actions, not wondering if I was indeed loving enough to let them go.

 

I let go, because I couldn’t face my own pain, but I could surely see my pain in others, whether I caused it or not.  I wanted to fix their pain and bring them into a world of imagination where no pain could harm them.  Not seeing that I trusted that I could do this, I was able to for a short while.  Then I knew that my own pain would infect them somehow, they couldn’t see the truth about my not trusting that they could feel anything remotely like what I felt inside.  Maybe it was that I was too genuine in my imagination, or that I was not standing in my truth enough for it to be genuine.  When I felt what I felt deeply, I realized that without me trusting that the right thing would come to me something else would come to me, and show me that this was just my imagination of the lie that made it possible to not tell the truth, I trusted this as my truth, that the lie was always right. Trust is intent… get it?

 

As humans we experience so much of what we hear inside that we isolate ourselves and miss the truth about trust.  Trust that you will be hurt and you will, trust that you will not be loved and you won’t.

 

Trust that you are not worthy of a deep love and yes you will get what you say in trust.  Trust that no one can hear you screaming inside and on one will.  Trust is the intent of what you want to have whether truth or a lie to find you and it does.

 

If you say you can feel another’s heart beat in your own as your truth and trust that what you feel in that heart beat inside you will find you then trust that it will completely!  No hesitation for that hesitation gives you the same in the trust you placed into it!

 

If you say you want to be in a truthful deep love relationship, trust completely that it will find you!

 

If you say you want to love yourself without conditions then trust that you will.  Without the words that I started with, it is always going to be a very confusing energy till you decide that you want the complete trust of what it is that you say you want!   Then make that the reason in being for that trust to give you what you know is in truth yours to give to yourself.

 

If you are having a hard time and want peace then trust you will find complete peace.  Any voice in you that says, “Yes but”.. Is a hole in that trust that says I am not enough yet.. where the lie is embedded is the truth waiting for it to see itself.  Say in self to the lie, “you will no longer tell lies for the heart that beats does so in a trusting manor, and that trust is something that I believe in.” Give yourself the wholeness in asking for trust to give you the truth about how you trust and it will give this to you when it is without question.

 

 

 

Love deeply….  Trust and let it find you!

 

Clark

 

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The Magic in gifts of Twin Flames a discussion for the truth…..

moon star

You know there are moments of what changes everything becomes something that is embedded inside the gift of twins… please join us for this discussion much can be felt whether with or without your twin!

Relationship Reinvented  Lois and Clark aka Sherry and Lee with Eileen and Trevor

Twin Flames  Eileen and Trevor with Lois and Clark aka Sherry and Lee

A Twin Flame Discussion !Energy is coming… are you ready?

 

 

Do you Trust YOURSELF???

 

 

trustClick on the link below to listen in to our latest radio show, Wrapping up februaries pain/suffering series and Beginning Marches Trust Series,,,,great callers, great show!!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/03/03/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series-marchtrust

Healing Series wrap up Feb 2014 Pain and Suffering…

What does your pain tell you about yourself?

pain-amp-suffering-68921

 

Over these past two months we have explored in depth the abandonment and pain..  All of which are suffering.  How does this pain show up in your existence even if you think you are over it?  If you are ignoring the inner child who knows love and gives love all the time it is seen as this is your sense of self as well!  As we grow with thinking, somehow we see pain is outside of us, we create a barrier of lies that keeps the inner child from ever being heard by others and ourselves…  This creates darkness.. this creates a way of seeing into the world through the eyes of pain losing our innocence. Is your innocence ever lost?  The truth is NO, for the inner child is the light… is this not the truth?  It is never lost just the protection of pain is masking it.  You will love from there, but not the same as you did if you let go and embraced this depth that we are speaking of… When is the last time you saw someone 80 years old and could look in their eyes and see the child in them?  Do you see how pain has kept us from ourselves where it is supposed to bring you back to yourself to this child inside?

 

Let’s go to the depth of what we are showing you in just this awakening of what the soul has endured and what the soul is as a core to your being.  As you have experienced this inside yourself the thinking mind would tell you that you are damaged, and you are in pain and who would want you, as you are running from yourself in pain, thus abandoning, suffering and keeping the child safe from pain so you seek pain in everything without seeing that you are calling to it by stepping in front of the inner child to show the world the pain… When we allow the child to be seen in small amounts it will call to love but when love is interrupted by thought again the child is hidden or what we call protective energy which is the lie….  This is the same as saying I will not accept this about myself and surely no one would want me as well, and thus making it possible to not ever see your inner child’s arms extended inside darkness for you to embrace the inner being(child).  This gives a permission for this type of energy to find you without your knowing.  You are without seeing that you are creating the energy of pain and suffering as a means to abandon yourself.  How could you.. the pain is to great.. We are taught to run from pain early on.. Rather than see the truth about what pain is there to birth within you.  The truth about this pain and suffering is that it does have energy to take you away from yourself, this happens 99% of the time in human, we are used to it and keep it as a measurement of our value and don’t seek wholeness in it.  Yet, In truth when you go into the pain you are able to find your inner child to see the truth about the pain.  This is the great awakener that pain wants you to find in the first place… The teacher becomes the student in these eyes that the child can see clearly!

 

I know it seems impossible, but let’s see it as truth for this moment.  In that, what you don’t experience in giving love to the self without the conditions of pains creating are holding the inner child in your knowing of love hostage.  Your mind will create the most profound energy in pain to keep you from the child within the self from being embraced and loved more deeply.  Signs of this are the words within the story you will have to keep you from yourself from the inner child that is being protected.

 

I was infected by the pain body of protection before, I wanted to point outside me to my pain, where the illusion was just that, an illusion of lies that this pain was on going!

 

The only way to embrace what is in your view of pain is that you must go into the pain of yourself to see the inner child with arms stretched out to grab, hold and love you without the mind… The story is only as strong as it’s story teller….  And the mind becomes stronger in the story to keep you from yourself from your inner child which is protected from the ego or mind you are infected with.

 

This ego…. well to see inside the thought process of the ego is what no longer needs to be seen cause it won’t let you embrace a story how could it?    This has such a powerful truth!  That what ever pain is ailing you… you were abandoned, you were left to come up with something inside and now your sense of self seeks purpose running from the pain.  What if your sense of self didn’t seek purpose in the outside of what pain is.. and went inside the pain to find the truth?

 

As a runner and then a chaser and then a runner, the purpose of seeing either is always causing a great pain..  What is gathered in this pain is much like the knock at the door we can do in the world yet inside it is to the inner child in you that wants you to just come in and embrace this child as much as it seeks this outside where the pain will be created into suffering… The ego or mind will then translate what the pain means by the catalog of past or reminders of what pain is and keep you deadlocked never acquiring any truth to this.  The lies of what we say then always point to something inside.. This is where the truth is really.

 

Here is something to ask yourself to lead you to the truth…  My pain is very powerful it is deep…  If I go inside of my pain what is in there?   If a vision of a child with arms extended comes to you or even brings you to tears it is you that is in there waiting with arms stretched to be able to embrace yourself.   How else do you finally birth what the pain is trying to show you if you are seeking outside… trust that you will get more of the same gradually becoming greater until this is what you need to do.. This pain will grow and grow.. but the energy of that pain will never truly be able to be something you can embrace.. You will suffer some more and then more will give you more of the pain… and the knocking of pain in your heart will be greater… This can bring you to death in some cases… How else do you think your way into a heart attack or a physical pain that breaks down the human body… The soul of the spark that is the inner child is trying to get you to merge into it.. To embrace it, to be at one with the truth that you can’t abandon yourself any longer… When this happens within yourself something is rebirthed or birthed into the world of form… This is the same as dying… you die to the thoughts that kept you from paying attention to your breathing, your animated nature in being!

 

 

The caterpillar becomes the butterfly…  The butterfly is the truth.. it even will take a few days to take flight depending on the crying that the butterfly did inside and it’s wings are wet… How is this not something we didn’t see until we experienced this as we did as twins…

 

The mirror is not what you see in residual it is what you see in truth.

 

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What a twin gives you is what you are already doing to yourself!

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How deep and powerful is this that you have now removed the story that has kept you from the inner child.   We are human but we are something greater inside that sparks this human existence..  This path leads you to this.. it is the truth where true change can happen to you.. not happen to another… This has always been your purpose.. To remove thinking and be a inner child in a more mature no thinking existence..  What pain has taught you in thinking has kept you from yourself.. The truth about what you are inside is not found through pain but in the center of it.

 

As you think about your pain do you see it clearly? Do you truly see the truth about your into me see.. That is INTIMACY in power of what you are when you embrace the inner child through the pain and realize on the other side you see into nature of energy that you are and see more fully.

 

Awaken to this truth.. for the pain in you has always been given the choice to embrace this within you.  If you stand and hold this child inside of the light of the child you will cry and will cry some more.  Yet as a being of love who is now connected to the truth of where yin and yang derived from.. How could you not take a look at your pain and see inside to see if you are embracing this child within you!

 

Pain is a great teacher… the greatest teacher that we have made into a disease.. when in pain the voice in the head keeps us from this pain as a means to keep us blind from seeing the child inside that endures this as a tragedy… This lie is only once removed when you are inside giving this love into the self for the self to feel connected to the wholeness you are without thinking…

 

Our Inner child has such a beauty to birth.. You do this one painful thought at a time.. as yourself what pain will I embrace within myself today and what will be seen is your embracing this inner child within you give you.. It is how we reverse the polarity of beauty in pain and truth in pain that love truly flourishes within itself.  You are love dear soul.. you are love dear human…  This healing is available to you in the NOW….

 

We have seen many birth through this… as Geiger counters to the truth you will no longer run from yourself in pain.. for that pain is always going to give you an open door to the truth of the embrace in love your inner child who loves unconditionally can give you.. when this happens unconditional love glows brighter that you ever imagined..  All creativity rises beyond the mind.. not inside of it.. so in this take this as the moment you have as it is the truth about pain and suffering.. Given is in the permission of abandonment that we are taught by thinking.  YOU never saw this coming… you never will… the mind creates this blind eye as protection.. yet protection from what exactly? Your pain should not be a mystery any longer… Believe in you to see you from that place inside that is holding arms out to create the same explosion in energy that love creates.

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

Before you Attack your Partner Look inside yourself!

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Doesn’t it seem like when you lay down to go to sleep IF you have mind noise that mind noise continues inside of you one way or another into the next day which is supposed to be NEW! Usually I can shut my mind off and count my breaths or listen to my heartbeat whatever way I can usually shut my mind down and fall asleep and journey into someplace the Universe needs me to be. I remember the last “ thought” I had before falling into sleep. “why do I have to breathe in these toxic fumes, I dont smoke, I never have”  and then it began  the journey inside of myself. i have been soulfully conscious of what I put in my body.

 

I say soulfully because I had to soul train my mind because my mind LOVES Cake,  Chocolate Cake, White CAKE well any kind of Cake… CAKE IS DAMN GOOD,,, JUST SAYING.

 

So I had to tell my mind yes mind, your right cake is good,,, but eating the entire cake is not good, you will be permitted to have cake just not the whole damn thing lol. my last Doctors visit was a real pooper, The fact is I am overweight, I feel great because my Soul is Clean, I stand in  my truth at all times, I have nothing hidden, all my dark secrets are out my twin KNOWS who I am, what i stand for he knows all of my truths even the really ugly ones.I realized a long time ago why I carried extra weight, it was for protection, mind noise that no one would want me or try to abuse me as well as physical protection from my secrets, they were buried deep inside of me,,,,All is out now and I simply dont need this protection. Nor do I want IT!

 

This is all just extra I dont need, So I have vowed to get rid of it, and I am, however over the past couple of days I have went over in calories and have not moved as much as I would like so have felt discouraged, and when I get discouraged I like to blame others for my discouragement its just easier that way lol

 

So I noticed everything everyone else was doing wrong, when in reality it was my own self I was disappointed in, I went to bed last night discouraged with ME, I dont enjoy the toxic smoke from cigarettes i am a non smoker however my Twin enjoys it and I love him unconditionally and he’s not a regular smoker he smokes very infrequently, HOWEVER I find that when I dont take as good of care of my self he tends to smoke more,,, sometimes this connection goes so much deeper than the human mind can imagine.

I hurt my body the past two days but not continuing the cycle of “physical healing”. He is Physically ill, I am feeling his pain, he is having some kidney issues and I woke up this morning in pain and I WAS PISSED!  (I suppose it the same type of pissed he feels when he experiences my menstral cramps :).

 

My journey took me inside of me, why I was disappointed in ME, what I had done to get off track, what I could have done different and why I didn’t. There was no blame on anyone else it was ME. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, I want that for me, for my kids and for my Twin because I Know he feels it, I want the energy that comes with being healthy, I am on the mission to get it.

 

My mind wanted to blame everyone else for my failures, when in fact I haven’t failed at all, I am still making drastic changes I am still on track when I fall off and consume to many calories thats my fault not anyone else’s. It has nothing and EVERYTHING to do with my twin, does that make sense? It has nothing and everything to do with him. It has everything to do with me, and my mindset and how I see things, It has everything to do with my control of me and how I treat my own body, when I heal so does he, when he heals so do I, When we fall apart physically we have to heal together. When I eat badly he smokes more, when he smokes more I eat badly.

 

To Heal this I have to go inside myself and find out what it is I am doing to not heal. So I wake up from that message filled Journey and I feel refreshed, ready to start a new day, my son woke me up at 8 am, I felt pain in my back, I was happy to take some of my twins pain, I was ready to get up and  begin a brand new healthier day, when I sat with my son and the smoke consumed me.

 

I tried to shut my mind down, I tried to not say anything, I hate smoke I always have, I vowed to never be with a smoker and I never was, I would not even date a smoker, so how ironic is the Universe my twin is a smoker, I love him unconditionally and that means loving him and his habit. I never want to Judge and I dont, I never have looked at him differently because he’s a smoker. I love him and if that means loving him while he smokes I do, and I always will.

I usually dont really notice him smoking because he smokes so rarely however the past couple of days its been more frequent.

So I got up without saying anything and just went back to the bed to lie down and fell back asleep for a while,,, and yet another dream Journey,,,What I do effects him, he has been smoking more frequent because I have been not taking care of myself more frequently. I remember a conversation I had with my mind, he has stated he was going to quit I know 20 times.

 

however I have stated i am going to get get healthy 100 times, to no avail, However this time I took a soul vowel and i am on mission,,,

 

He knows we are Twins and what he does effects me so why would he do that to us?

well I also know we are Twins and he’s feeling me unhealthy why would I overeat?

 

Well If he’s going to sabotage us , so am I

so You will be double unhealthy great plan!

 

 

I know without doubt when I get healthy he will no longer have the urge to smoke, its how twins work. We get healthy together. Today is a new day my mind is shut off, my ego is not allowed to have a say so in this. I will no longer attack my partner for what he is doing! I will no longer blame him for me being unhealthy!

 

When I fall off the wagon this is no ones issue but mine, I will no longer blame anyone else, I will no longer look for anyone else’s faults, I will go inside and find what it is I am doing to cause this behavior, It all begins within me, the destruction or the healing, I choose healing!

Love Lois