Do you have a switch and wonder how you can shut off your emotions!
Take a look here!
Do you have a switch and wonder how you can shut off your emotions!
Take a look here!
What is fear?
At some point in our lives we all experience it. Our heart beats faster; we find it hard to breathe; the muscles in our body tense; our brain seems to shut everything else out and the focus shifts to the terror that has changed us emotionally and physically. We are experiencing fear.
So why does fear exist and do we have power over it? Fear according to researchers evolved in all animal species as a defense mechanism. It is a way for the brain to change the body chemistry so that future dangerous situations will create a stimulus, serving as an early warning system. This gives us an ability to determine a course of action that will increase our chance of survival. The chemical response in some cases is so strong it can cause physical and emotional paralysis and impede us from helping ourselves! When that paralysis is not experienced, the body then faces the fight or flight response in defense.
Some fear is healthy, being afraid of bodily harm from a potential attacker for example. Some fear is destructive and damaging, like feeling we cannot be honest with our partners for fear of judgment or ridicule. When we feel fear we need to remember that it’s a call to action. Unlike other animals we are able to choose how we respond to those feelings of dread.
In 3rd grade I was bullied and picked on by bigger kids, and my instinct was to fight. Eventually I was expelled from school and my father began spanking me with a belt as punishment. This punishment taught me to fear his spanking more than the bullies’ beatings. For the rest of my youth I backed down from every altercation. I did nothing to defend myself from the beatings of my peers; allowing them to label me a coward and hopefully leave me alone. I grew up in a very tough area so I got beat a lot. Today I am 44 years old and I have no memory of the physical pain I endured from those beatings, but the pain of not defending myself, of feeling like a coward–that pain lived inside me for so long that I can still feel the shame today if I allow it. When I was 18 I no longer had to fear my father’s punishments for defending myself and I began to stand up for myself again. This did not stop me from getting bullied on occasion, but interestingly enough I don’t remember an ounce of the physical pain; all my mind can recall is the humiliation of a loss, that helpless feeling of not being able to defend myself, that fear that someone else had gotten the better of me.
As I got older I began to read self-help books and to study why I and others thought and acted the way we did. In one of the books I was reading I came across one of the most profound thoughts ever, an acronym that defined what fear really was. The acronym was False Evidence Appearing Real. When I read that it instantly spoke to me. Whether an aggressively intimidating person, an inescapable, unpleasant situation, or a dreaded decision needing to be made, the feeling in all these situations was the same: fear. I finally realized that no matter what the evidence was I was selecting the meaning of it and assuming the worst case scenario. It reminded me of when I was little and I lied to stop my dad from spanking me. The reality was that I lied out of fear; but my punishment never turned out to be as bad as I had assumed it would.
This realization gave me one of the most effective tools for change and success in my life, I understood that only I could determine what had power over me, only I could assume what the consequences where going to be, only I could determine if fear would empower me to act in my defense or paralyze and control me.
Fear is real and it can be a healthy emotion, but do yourself a favor and remember that it’s only a call to action. Your choice is Fight or flight, and sometimes flight is necessary, but too often flight is chosen as the easy way out. As a former coward I can attest that it is easier to run away than it is to stand and fight for yourself. I can say with authority that just because you successfully ran away from your fear, you have not escaped it. Often times the long term damage you will cause by not standing up for yourself, your ideals, the truth, will be very difficult to heal from, because you will know that the fear conquered you.
Today you can make the decision that fear won’t stop you from telling the truth; it won’t stop you expressing your love for someone; and it can’t prevent you from standing up for yourself. Today if you’re feeling fear answer that call to action, and let fear know you’re back in charge of your life.
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Take a listen this was powerful as Josh and Lee discuss truth and how it is with fear!
Healing series… Evolution of truth!
In the dominant side of thinking, we often have a voice that says things to us! This thinking is of course a protective nature or so we see it as being a protective nature that says things are ok, or not ok. When this thinking occurs, we of course can see that the truth can be as messy! This say’s somewhere inside that a lie is ok. It could be that you have to hide something about yourself! It could be that you are already rejecting, abandoning, or playing a mental record of something that once was. All of those are lies in a sense.
If you are rejected, do you make it ok to reject yourself? If you said no, then wouldn’t there be no discomfort on what you say rejection is. For you are holding yourself, and don’t need validation of any kind to tell you that you have been dismissed, or removed.
What about Abandonment? If someone has abandoned you, and you are hurt, and are in suffering from something that was long ago, are you trapped in lying? The answer should be yes! Yes as in the present moment you didn’t abandon yourself and now don’t make someone else responsible for it as time makes no difference you can give yourself the love that was missing in all moments and your sense of self is not going to suffer in the present moment.
When you evolve in truth, you evolve within truth. You see the pitfalls that can occur, come from not seeing the path the truth wants you to come to. If you see actions of energy outside you that you say can be repeated, and that it is still happening isn’t this in itself a lie?
In this radio discussion listed from this past monday’s healing series our dear friends Josh (a polyamorous male) with his wife Karen (a monogamous woman) shared how their truth about who they were became revealed and how deep the truth melted them to who they are together.
This was a very powerful understanding of how standing in your truth can give you the greatest love you ever experienced and how it continues to grow!
Lois and Clark
aka Sherry and Lee
There comes a time in your life when you take a look at where you are in that particular moment, We have had quite the Journey as most of you have read most of our blogs and know we have a connection so strong, so honest and so True it withstood everything the universe threw at us. We are Now Living a True Twin Flame Union, Inside this Union we have no choice but to teach, learn and guide others going through any type Relationship Issues. We tend to not lean on our College education or even what we absorbed from our Certification courses, we coach and guide from our one soul. We were led to make this our life’s work, and going in without fear proved difficult however we do what we are led to do, we enjoy it, and we appreciate it.
Looking at where we are now simply amazes us. We have such an amazing growing client base and when its time for them to fly, they fly and always keep in touch with us and sometimes even find they need a little more guidance and we are always here. Recently we have noticed such a spike in our e mail box and our Facebook group is growing by 50+ daily. No doubt we have our clients do their own work and sometimes its very uncomfortable and even painful but the result is Peace, and Unconditional love.
The loving support and Beautiful words sent to us daily from our Clients and friends confirms to us we are doing what we are called to do. Yesterday was an especially amazing day when a Client of ours found out we were getting Legally Married this fall,we have always been married in our souls and feel it is time to take the step here and have a Twin Flame Ceremony 🙂
What she did for us we will never forget and we are still in awe. She posted in our group and on our page, a page for all of our friend to see and so they are all able to assist in this ceremony. The tears this gave us were of deep bliss!
What a gift to have a ceremony touched by all of our friends from all over the world. Saying Thank You does not feel like it is enough, its not about the ceremony for us, it is all about the marriage and with this blessing the ceremony will be more beautiful than ever and will certainly be recorded and shown all over the world to show those who are experiencing the same journey we were on that there is healing ahead.
We are blessed to have all of you as Clients, Friends and Family.
Here is the page she posted!
Lee and Sherry (Lois and Clark)