Parentless Abandon…

simbadadwakeupParentless Abandon…..

As we embrace the truth about abandonment we also realize that the most vital part of our journey happens when we are brought into the world. In this world we vest in our first true place of connection in the relationship we have with our biological parents. Of this we find that we truly never see how we find ways to abandon ourselves. Here is an example… As a child even at an early age we were taught not to touch things.. or use to much energy in this I was the wild child.. Placed on Ritalin. This was a drug that as a description was what I was given…

Methylphenidate is used as part of a treatment program (including psychological, educational, and social measures) to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – ADHD. It can help increase your ability to pay attention, stay focused on an activity, and control behavior problems. It may also help you to organize your tasks and improve listening skills. This medication is also used to treat a certain sleep disorder (narcolepsy). Methylphenidate is a mild stimulant that is thought to work by changing the amounts of certain natural substances in the brain.

They have since changed this to Adderal… which is the same but maybe less….

It reads as follows…
This medication may cause withdrawal reactions, especially if it has been used regularly for a long time or in high doses. In such cases, withdrawal symptoms (including severe tiredness, sleep problems, mental/mood changes such as depression) may occur if you suddenly stop using this medication. To prevent withdrawal reactions, your doctor may reduce your dose gradually.
Along with its benefits, this medication may rarely cause abnormal drug-seeking behavior (addiction). This risk may be increased if you have abused alcohol or drugs in the past. Take this medication exactly as prescribed to lessen the risk of addiction. Do not increase your dose or use this drug more often or for longer than prescribed. Properly stop this medication when so directed.
When this medication is used for a long time, it may not work as well. Talk with your doctor if this medication stops working well.

Now, I am no doctor, nor would I claim that this is purposeful to myself or any other human being, but I can state the obvious… When we become isolated and told we can’t focus, we become isolated, by being asked to be in control, and be controlled by others. What does this do to your sense of self if you don’t know how to communicate what is happening to the voice in the head that we are told to have… Remember getting in trouble and being told to think about your actions.. Yet, when you did what did to get into trouble, you clearly weren’t thinking at all… The outcome of this is that you now will think about the consequences and somewhere inside you is a seed that will be planted for how you view the outside world, and how you are treated within it.… Now if you would have asked me then, what I was feeling, and why I was constantly out of control! It wouldn’t have made sense, that I was out of control because I was always being controlled. This wasn’t a bad thing but when you are placed in this state of being… Here is what the result would look like. If I would have been asked why I was all over the place, I would have not been able to hear anything I was too busy being a ball of energy… Yet, for breakfast I had 2 bowls of Cap’n Crunch and 3 cups of hawaiian punch.. (yes a child running on pure sugar….) I played with all of my toys, and my brothers toys, and I just wanted to play… Heck I was only 5. Yet if I did something wrong threw a toy at my brother or broke the toy… It was a devastating truth that I was beat or smacked.. Now this will only translate into something that creates a behavior in me and a thought process that enabled the behavior…. Now I see this, as I didn’t feel loved, I felt hurt, Yet, what did I do that was the cause and effect of this? When we hurt, and can’t find our way to express the words that are impacting us, at such a young age.. We have to tell us something inside as a reason why those things happened… We scream, and cry, and then the whole I am running away words come to us to give us much needed protection or understanding… It was a way of defense, or a way of crying out… You see how this was? Just a way to use the mind for something that was already dark in nature with no true understanding of it other than it was taught from my parents parents from their parents.. We are all infected with this.. We become isolated in thinking about our actions and what those actions caused us in return…the beginning of a lie….

At about 8 years old was taken off Ritalin, and was way out of control.. to focus was hard because I was detoxing… and then I just felt lazy all the time.. I didn’t understand why I had no desire to play sports, to do things that were team oriented… at this point I had a lie in me that told me I was always going to disappoint people and I was unworthy of any type of privilege let alone to play with no abandon… Shortly there after my father stopped coming home to visit, but when he did, it was a full on report of all the bad things I did.. And he was the punisher, or the corrections officer of my choices, and of my doing things that were not with the rules….

I remember being stuck in a hallway at a desk facing the wall trying to do a math problem that I didn’t understand and was told I was stupid this was said repeatedly to me… and for hours I sat…. I relived and replayed this moment in my head, most of my life.. The feeling that happened to me in that moment and the thought process that was stricken inside me. I was forever abandoned by myself and my choices… I tried to be smart.. I tried to be logical.. Yet it would seem I would bore easily with simple task, or even complex task… I actually was pretty smart as I learned differently… I could learn by chaotic listening which is not normal by any stretch. Sitting at the table though… what I was saying inside myself was that I was worthless, I was unworthy of love, I was never going to amount to anything, I would never be able to take care of myself. I let everyone down… I was stupid, and the most powerful I wish I was never born… My parents would still be together if I was not those things mostly the last one…

The power of thinking is found in this and what it meant in my being… I no longer trusted my own choices or my actions or anything that my parents stated what they would say to me… I was on the lonely island of rebellion and survival is all it came down to.

I hurt… I was deeply wounded burying my root which was the truth… NO words would work… cause no one was listening, no one could hear me… What does this do to a child who is going to be in effect in this line of thinking for the next 30 years???
It will create lies in a life in reality that self worth was none… love was completely evasive and yet inside this child which was abandoned by the being that was growing was to be ignored. Everything was about the physical, everything was about the dream to protect to project and keep the box inside him hidden… It all was hidden in the box of what I told myself, no one else could feel.. No one else was hearing my thinking… Yet I could see the box in other people.. The place where they are lost, The dot on their heads that kept them from seeing how connected they were and the lies that are they holding onto that they created to keep themselves going. I was broken…SHATTERED inside the broken…

This was about the parentless existence I created it was about the parentless lie that I created to hide yet keep the pain… and to keep the pain alive through suffering. I always felt I was going to endure pain and that pain did find me almost every time. Every glimpse of true love I found.. love showed me true pain… If it wasn’t from something or someone outside me, it was always by something I did to create my own pain… I never realized I had given myself permission to suffer.. This permission was my own abandonment of myself.. When this became my truth the lies of what was my truth had to be gone into deeply to see this clearly…. It was abandonment, not from everyone outside me that tried to get me to see that they were not going to abandon me with love, but because I was already deep inside abandoning myself….

Abandonment is this… A lie that keeps us from our truth that we can’t abandon what we feel! Our mind can trap the emotion to give you the lie you need to abandon what you feel.. When you do this, you have silently given everyone else the energy to do what you have done to yourself! Abandon yourself….

Love Deeply,

Clark

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Lois and Clark What am I missing???

fear-of-missing-out

We had a Question posted to us about our 10 month Series, as we wind down our first month.

 

Dear Lois and Clark:

 

I am Following your 10 month series, and have been reading your posts on Abandonment and Listening to the Radio shows, and am really looking forward to next months topic on pain and Junes Topic on Unconditional Love, I have seen the flyer and understand you offer a paid version, so what am I missing just looking from the outside in and following the “public” series.

 

Sincerely

Randal

 

 

Wow, Randall, what a great Question! and one we really have not answered until Now!

During our 10 month Series we are posting in our Public Forums, and Social Networks some of our Series Information! However for our Series Members we offer quite a bit more information and fun!!

 

We have a PRIVATE group our members are a part of and we have Very Enlightening and Active Discussion 24 hours a day!  Our Members also are a part of our Monthly Workshops, where they are given personal projects to do,homework if you will  lol  We gather in the private forum to discuss these projects, often times very eye opening! We play “games” we get to know each other and get personal (only if you like) and sometimes we tend to go over allotted time because there is someone experiencing a “breakthrough” all the while with plenty of support from their fellow members as well as Lois and Clark!

 

We also have 2 live Webinars a month, where we gather and discuss the topics at hand and our personal stories and journeys and struggles.  We guide and have fun and laugh as we teach the tools to break the cycles we find ourselves in! Breakthroughs in webinars are powerful as it is video and we get to see all of our members face to face and they get to see us!!!  Often times we are laughing as a group and crying as a group, its freeing and cleansing and healing!

 

Our members also get 4 personal telephone sessions with us! and wow we have found those incredibly healing!

 

Our members also get a Personal Skype or FaceTime visit with us one on one, Fun and amazingly healing as we go deep inside and get real personal!

 

 

Also Randal at the end of every month as our members complete their series they receive by mail a certificate of Completion from Relationship Reinvented for each month completed! and at the end of the Series they will receive a very special Award of Completion of the Entire Series!

and the Healing is the best part, imagine diving into each one of these topics, going deep within and Healing the cycles within ! It is a Healing Series!!!  I hope this helped! and we are here if you have any more questions!!

 

Lois and Clark (and I forget the Big Bonus,,,, meeting Lois and Clark 🙂  lol)

 

 

Healing series!

 

 

Broken Abandonment of you…

boy-crying.jpg?w=652The torture and pain in abandonment…  As we watch abandonment happen in those that are new into the world..  We watch this and don’t give the understanding to let’s say little tommy who is 5 and seeing how a growing female child of 13 is upset and crying,  Little Tommy is wondering why the energy of those around him is off… It is off from the choices we make from pain we never get past as we have been here and endured pain the child has not.  In this case he just wants to speak about what hurts in him from what he is experiencing seeing his sister upset over the comments of the older sister and the dear girl who is with her.  As he tries to be heard we hear only the silence from those infected in thoughts about the drama that ensues.  In that he is wondering how this translates into a space of stay out of this.  Where in truth inside of him he needs to resolve his feelings of seeing those he loves hurt… As he gets older the silence in him will become a rage of not being heard and someone will think him crazy, but the response of what happens when energy goes unheard is something that always causes us to abandon others when we are not looking.  We shelter a pain inside and make others responsible for activating that pain whether it be a cry out to those who can relate and keep us activated in their pain to share with us.

 

The family form of abandonment happens in this world more times than not.. It happens from this same example stated above.  You witness someone who will abandon you, you witness the truth about what that abandon needs  or wants to be in your life then pain is embraced.   As we try and mend the broken moments of what was, we miss the truth about what it means to have those in our life who gave us life who shared our first moments, who grew side by side with us.

 

It could be the ones you shared this similar experience with to gravitate and ignite this pain inside you.  Such as a sibling,  or a parent, who you endured their pain, and made it your own.  We watch and enable this to taint the love we have in our existence here.  It is why we become cold to each other, seem uncaring, and why we enable the frustration of such energy to ignite us when we aren’t fully aware of the tendencies of the pain that it causes in ones existence.

 

Weeping from this place is always a pain you will carry in silence as you continue this existence, not by choice, but by not revisiting the moment this became a truth to you. Never to recollect the choice to see this from the inside view of how you can’t forgive anyone or anything because of this one moment that you can’t forgive by not giving yourself permission to forgive yourself for holding on this whole time or the person that you hold accountable for not hearing you to forgive them for this the whole time.  This in how energy is going to be returned by something that is beyond your control.  You will elect the silence instead of speaking from the place that hurts.

 

You will reach a place where you can’t hold this any longer not because of the moment being gone, but as much as it is that you found barriers in those that will listen to your heart that weeps. You will be unable to speak from the place inside you that weeps because of the silence being in a deep place near your root.  This comes after the person is gone when their death is  all you are left with.  My mother left many of these with me, not by her choice, but by mine.. I was to busy hurting in silence to share this with her… I didn’t know how painful that would be until I had to accept her passing and this was the pain I was left with within myself that needed to be gone into in pain…  This pain is why the tears role down my face NOW… Not because of what I can do, and will do the remainder of my life but because of what it feels to see myself in what little Tommy is experiencing…  The pain of not changing any of it… No matter how it comes to communicate this in truth….  The 5 year old experiences this and still screams and tells everyone to love everyone, we all love each other as family right?  This is still gone unheard by the way this happens.  As you get older this will be why you always seek to understand why anyone does anything especially when they hurt you. Not seeing it is you who is in pain and that you are creating space for this pain to grow.  It is a chord of this life that is struck a million times, and it seems to always seek the 5 year old voice of why, or I want to talk this out.  Yet nothing… Nothing will be able to replace this, just the one voice that sees it all and is awake to see the impact of the noise the child still endures.

 

What is it about the love we carry that creates these limitations when we are in pain? Abandonment….. The noise becomes louder in the mind and when you go unheard something in you looses the sound pointing to silence to change this to make it something more powerful in the love you feel for yourself and those around you.  Why else do those that say I am alone become truly alone when silence is more present?   This is a wake up call as a adult, or parent! You get to make this a choice. A choice to see all the choices that you are in as energy that can make the difference in your sons or daughters life.  The compassionate energy of I am here, I am listening, I am the love that will always love you unconditionally…  What would a child like this be like in this world? Well take this for what it is worth… You are that child and you still are growing in this world…  One can only wonder as the forms of abandonment still have such a strong foot hold in this world we must see it together in order to change the energy of what will evolve in our presence, not our absence!

 

 

If you are going through something in your existence, where your parents hurt you, or you felt abandoned, realize this is only a trait of what was done just as it was to 5 year old Tommy.  It happens without our knowing, and knowing is always aware of itself.  As you come to any conclusion of what this means to create a world of unconditional love, this is a wake up to what is around you…  For what can’t be seen in the dark, can always be brought into the light!

 

 

Love deeply… Love without abandon, and also realize that this comes from what you give to yourself that you will give to others.  The conscious starts with this knowing… Knowing that your love has conditions built to be broken, not by the soul that embeds this, but by the soul that transcends it!

 

All weeps inside you see this and remember the moment this was taught to happen to you… Not by something hidden any longer…

 

Just.Believe!

 

Clark

 

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How come, he can walk away easily?

Dear Clark,

I always wondered why a man can do a female wrong time after time & she will still be by his side. But when a female does ONE THING wrong the man leaves instantly.

father-son11

A mother CAN abandon their child, yet the child who’s father left the mother placed a hole in the child in the shape of a father, and now will duplicate this behavior without knowing how to communicate their emotional hurt in pain and change this cycle, it is why men can do this easily they are taught by this action alone without any level of pain or what caused the pain.  It would seem that when a child has this as a hole within them can point to what the expectation is to include the abandonment of both!

The suffering that this causes is the creation of why we are in a country were 24 million children are without a father.  Unless or until a man is willing to stand in their pain and accept this truth to share this pain as a way to end the suffering this will continue.  This is how they will heal this by accepting their truth and knowing their pain! You can’t fix this cycle without acceptance of the truth inside yourself let alone the pain that it gives you.

A fatherless daughter -This suffering also has it’s fuel, as a woman you will seek out a man who will abandon you easily, as this is what happened with your first experience with a man if you are a fatherless daughter whether daddy was in your life, yet absent emotionally, or all together physically not in your life you will seek this in a man that you will choose.  You will even compromise and even find men who are unavailable because you need to fill this hole inside of you as a father may or may not been in your life but didn’t express the energy you needed because they didn’t lack the communication you needed to heal this.  You had to tell yourself a lie about yourself to try and make sense of why this was missing.  The truth is you hurt, and you suffer in that hurt doing things in acceptance that are not love, but could in turn be an emotional clinging with no understanding why.  You will try and fix this in them, as a means to fix this in yourself.  You will find a man who will hurt you in this way without knowing this is the energy you are calling to, not seeing that you are in pain, and make a choice to stay in this pain.

This is why the attachment is different from a mans viewpoint.. A man will not see the emotional attachment as a woman will base this on how the man is or isn’t emotionally available… If his mother has always done nothing but protect him, and he never was able to speak about what his pain was regardless of his actions.  It isn’t that never did the man not trust his mother, he will seek out this in relationships.. someone who will continue with him to ignore this pain to create the same energy that a man has become accustomed to with his mother.  If she was always attacking him and punishing him without showing him how to heal from what pain causes these actions.  He will seek relationships similar to this as he makes the choice to be in relationships.  He will seek a woman who is ok with him not sharing his pain and accepting him regardless of his actions and lack of knowing how to communicate his heart that is hurt or that is of emotional energy.  This removal of being attached makes it probable that there is a hidden pain that will be found out by the woman.  In most if not all cases if a man is able to walk away and be unforgiving it is because it was done to him by his father or mother.. The ability to walk away from a relationship is taught by experiencing it with no reason.  If a man can do this they were abandoned by their father.  There was no explanation and no looking back.  The male child will now duplicate this behavior. This to the son who’s father leaves or is absent in their life will not know how to be understanding of those actions.

In most cases they will be in the relationship with only one foot out the door no matter the time line of the relationship. The cycle doesn’t end there, they will seek out like energy to include a relationship where the woman has children and the father is absent in the children’s lives.  This will turn into a challenging relationship as the man will take a full role in being as the children are cause of the energy feels the same.  It is the law of energy that is the truth not the thought process as it hasn’t become aware in this way.  How could it?  If this was seen as it was with energy wouldn’t it be up to both male and female to heal this one child at a time, to include the inner child they both have?

Love Deeply

Clark

Make 2014 Your year for Healing!!!

Healing series!