Do you have a switch and wonder how you can shut off your emotions!
Take a look here!
Do you have a switch and wonder how you can shut off your emotions!
Take a look here!
What is fear?
At some point in our lives we all experience it. Our heart beats faster; we find it hard to breathe; the muscles in our body tense; our brain seems to shut everything else out and the focus shifts to the terror that has changed us emotionally and physically. We are experiencing fear.
So why does fear exist and do we have power over it? Fear according to researchers evolved in all animal species as a defense mechanism. It is a way for the brain to change the body chemistry so that future dangerous situations will create a stimulus, serving as an early warning system. This gives us an ability to determine a course of action that will increase our chance of survival. The chemical response in some cases is so strong it can cause physical and emotional paralysis and impede us from helping ourselves! When that paralysis is not experienced, the body then faces the fight or flight response in defense.
Some fear is healthy, being afraid of bodily harm from a potential attacker for example. Some fear is destructive and damaging, like feeling we cannot be honest with our partners for fear of judgment or ridicule. When we feel fear we need to remember that it’s a call to action. Unlike other animals we are able to choose how we respond to those feelings of dread.
In 3rd grade I was bullied and picked on by bigger kids, and my instinct was to fight. Eventually I was expelled from school and my father began spanking me with a belt as punishment. This punishment taught me to fear his spanking more than the bullies’ beatings. For the rest of my youth I backed down from every altercation. I did nothing to defend myself from the beatings of my peers; allowing them to label me a coward and hopefully leave me alone. I grew up in a very tough area so I got beat a lot. Today I am 44 years old and I have no memory of the physical pain I endured from those beatings, but the pain of not defending myself, of feeling like a coward–that pain lived inside me for so long that I can still feel the shame today if I allow it. When I was 18 I no longer had to fear my father’s punishments for defending myself and I began to stand up for myself again. This did not stop me from getting bullied on occasion, but interestingly enough I don’t remember an ounce of the physical pain; all my mind can recall is the humiliation of a loss, that helpless feeling of not being able to defend myself, that fear that someone else had gotten the better of me.
As I got older I began to read self-help books and to study why I and others thought and acted the way we did. In one of the books I was reading I came across one of the most profound thoughts ever, an acronym that defined what fear really was. The acronym was False Evidence Appearing Real. When I read that it instantly spoke to me. Whether an aggressively intimidating person, an inescapable, unpleasant situation, or a dreaded decision needing to be made, the feeling in all these situations was the same: fear. I finally realized that no matter what the evidence was I was selecting the meaning of it and assuming the worst case scenario. It reminded me of when I was little and I lied to stop my dad from spanking me. The reality was that I lied out of fear; but my punishment never turned out to be as bad as I had assumed it would.
This realization gave me one of the most effective tools for change and success in my life, I understood that only I could determine what had power over me, only I could assume what the consequences where going to be, only I could determine if fear would empower me to act in my defense or paralyze and control me.
Fear is real and it can be a healthy emotion, but do yourself a favor and remember that it’s only a call to action. Your choice is Fight or flight, and sometimes flight is necessary, but too often flight is chosen as the easy way out. As a former coward I can attest that it is easier to run away than it is to stand and fight for yourself. I can say with authority that just because you successfully ran away from your fear, you have not escaped it. Often times the long term damage you will cause by not standing up for yourself, your ideals, the truth, will be very difficult to heal from, because you will know that the fear conquered you.
Today you can make the decision that fear won’t stop you from telling the truth; it won’t stop you expressing your love for someone; and it can’t prevent you from standing up for yourself. Today if you’re feeling fear answer that call to action, and let fear know you’re back in charge of your life.
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Take a listen this was powerful as Josh and Lee discuss truth and how it is with fear!
Doesn’t it seem like when you lay down to go to sleep IF you have mind noise that mind noise continues inside of you one way or another into the next day which is supposed to be NEW! Usually I can shut my mind off and count my breaths or listen to my heartbeat whatever way I can usually shut my mind down and fall asleep and journey into someplace the Universe needs me to be. I remember the last “ thought” I had before falling into sleep. “why do I have to breathe in these toxic fumes, I dont smoke, I never have” and then it began the journey inside of myself. i have been soulfully conscious of what I put in my body.
I say soulfully because I had to soul train my mind because my mind LOVES Cake, Chocolate Cake, White CAKE well any kind of Cake… CAKE IS DAMN GOOD,,, JUST SAYING.
So I had to tell my mind yes mind, your right cake is good,,, but eating the entire cake is not good, you will be permitted to have cake just not the whole damn thing lol. my last Doctors visit was a real pooper, The fact is I am overweight, I feel great because my Soul is Clean, I stand in my truth at all times, I have nothing hidden, all my dark secrets are out my twin KNOWS who I am, what i stand for he knows all of my truths even the really ugly ones.I realized a long time ago why I carried extra weight, it was for protection, mind noise that no one would want me or try to abuse me as well as physical protection from my secrets, they were buried deep inside of me,,,,All is out now and I simply dont need this protection. Nor do I want IT!
This is all just extra I dont need, So I have vowed to get rid of it, and I am, however over the past couple of days I have went over in calories and have not moved as much as I would like so have felt discouraged, and when I get discouraged I like to blame others for my discouragement its just easier that way lol
So I noticed everything everyone else was doing wrong, when in reality it was my own self I was disappointed in, I went to bed last night discouraged with ME, I dont enjoy the toxic smoke from cigarettes i am a non smoker however my Twin enjoys it and I love him unconditionally and he’s not a regular smoker he smokes very infrequently, HOWEVER I find that when I dont take as good of care of my self he tends to smoke more,,, sometimes this connection goes so much deeper than the human mind can imagine.
I hurt my body the past two days but not continuing the cycle of “physical healing”. He is Physically ill, I am feeling his pain, he is having some kidney issues and I woke up this morning in pain and I WAS PISSED! (I suppose it the same type of pissed he feels when he experiences my menstral cramps :).
My journey took me inside of me, why I was disappointed in ME, what I had done to get off track, what I could have done different and why I didn’t. There was no blame on anyone else it was ME. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, I want that for me, for my kids and for my Twin because I Know he feels it, I want the energy that comes with being healthy, I am on the mission to get it.
My mind wanted to blame everyone else for my failures, when in fact I haven’t failed at all, I am still making drastic changes I am still on track when I fall off and consume to many calories thats my fault not anyone else’s. It has nothing and EVERYTHING to do with my twin, does that make sense? It has nothing and everything to do with him. It has everything to do with me, and my mindset and how I see things, It has everything to do with my control of me and how I treat my own body, when I heal so does he, when he heals so do I, When we fall apart physically we have to heal together. When I eat badly he smokes more, when he smokes more I eat badly.
To Heal this I have to go inside myself and find out what it is I am doing to not heal. So I wake up from that message filled Journey and I feel refreshed, ready to start a new day, my son woke me up at 8 am, I felt pain in my back, I was happy to take some of my twins pain, I was ready to get up and begin a brand new healthier day, when I sat with my son and the smoke consumed me.
I tried to shut my mind down, I tried to not say anything, I hate smoke I always have, I vowed to never be with a smoker and I never was, I would not even date a smoker, so how ironic is the Universe my twin is a smoker, I love him unconditionally and that means loving him and his habit. I never want to Judge and I dont, I never have looked at him differently because he’s a smoker. I love him and if that means loving him while he smokes I do, and I always will.
I usually dont really notice him smoking because he smokes so rarely however the past couple of days its been more frequent.
So I got up without saying anything and just went back to the bed to lie down and fell back asleep for a while,,, and yet another dream Journey,,,What I do effects him, he has been smoking more frequent because I have been not taking care of myself more frequently. I remember a conversation I had with my mind, he has stated he was going to quit I know 20 times.
however I have stated i am going to get get healthy 100 times, to no avail, However this time I took a soul vowel and i am on mission,,,
He knows we are Twins and what he does effects me so why would he do that to us?
well I also know we are Twins and he’s feeling me unhealthy why would I overeat?
Well If he’s going to sabotage us , so am I
so You will be double unhealthy great plan!
I know without doubt when I get healthy he will no longer have the urge to smoke, its how twins work. We get healthy together. Today is a new day my mind is shut off, my ego is not allowed to have a say so in this. I will no longer attack my partner for what he is doing! I will no longer blame him for me being unhealthy!
When I fall off the wagon this is no ones issue but mine, I will no longer blame anyone else, I will no longer look for anyone else’s faults, I will go inside and find what it is I am doing to cause this behavior, It all begins within me, the destruction or the healing, I choose healing!
This blog is dedicated to the mind that takes and catalogs information of past experiences and continues to speak as a voice that we misidentify as a sense of self…
As a little child we all experience something that creates the ego.. This ego keeps a dialogue with us as we grow.. as we grow it gives us all the attention we ever endure. Notice I will not choose need or want as endure has to take responsibility for something.. I will however, point to the truth of this as a place that we derive our sense of self from. What happens when the ego is found out??? It seeks to keep a layer over this episode or that episode of what we experienced keeping us from our origins of love.
Recently, there was a woman who was thinking of the despair she was in within her existence.. All the choices she made were from this ego.. As a child she wasn’t close to her mother, and her father, well that is a different story.. But, the child was seeking a mother who abandon her in ways that she just didn’t comprehend. This birth of the pain body kept her in the most constant state of being validated, heard, embraced and loved..
Validation as an energy serves no real purpose outside you, other than to keep you searching for an answer over the lie you told yourself inside that you needed to seek outside yourself to find moments of comfort and discomfort. What if you inside found the place where you saw this and saw the child that endured this? It is quite a journey.. For you see, the child’s hands coming through the darkness to grab you, but what you don’t see is the child reaching into a dark place to pull you out of this.. You run in fear of this unknown…. This illusion is quite tricky as we see darkness and feel we are consumed in it, we don’t see that we are the light in that darkness and just surrounded by the dark ego that is in effect which is our sense of self… As we see in this way our inner child is reaching and grasping for us and all we do is run.. for that is what we are told to do by ego.. These hands that reach from the light into the darkness are the hands that come through to embrace us..
I asked her… What do you see in the darkness she said.. I see a little girls hands.. I said how do you see her in the darkness… She said she is dark.. I said you see the little girl in the dark… She said yes… Her ego made the exploded view of her inner child into a small set of hands in a dark cloud… How could this be.. Let’s see this from the eyes of a child.. A child has no sense of thought, which means it doesn’t have an ego or darkness.. So, why would a child reach down in darkness, as I asked her what she felt… she stated I am running from her… I said wait! Why My friend? Why don’t you go to her and put your arms around her?
She was quiet and the shift occurred… How could she see the child in the dark… The child is in the light.. Only love has light.. How else does a child see love? The birth of the ego creates a question when it doesn’t receive it. This was powerful as the anger that was validated submerged in the ego into the darkness.. She closed her eyes and held her inner child.. As this happen she cried vert hard as though listening to a child who was just being born again… for 30 something years she ran from the light, which is the inner child.. The child we all are birthed with.. The child that only knows love, no judgements, no abandon, no betrayal just pure love, this includes content and labeling removed.
I said why did you think she was the darkness?
This is where it became very powerful to heal…
She said because everyone ran away from her so I did to…. She was seeking the validation as to why they always would leave, never why they would hold her!
For a child loves in this way they don’t know any other way… As we do this we hurt.. We fear, We get angry, We fight, We destroy, and we become destroyed in our view of what we in truth truly want… Which is love without reason, without consequence, without material, without judgements, without content and without labeling.. Love as an energy does the most powerful thing in healing, not with an I’m sorry but with a let go and embrace of what we hide inside which is the inner child of you!
After embracing this child.. I said stay here.. for what the child really needs is the root of this connection to grow.. This will bring you the greatest love you are here to experience… It is the bread crumbs of the truth.. Anything else is just ego….
The post and radio show is dedicated to Ego (your mind)…
If you live in worry, doubt, afraid, or judge other people or feel judged, it tells you that you are attacked by being yourself or attack others from this same very place, or afraid to trust others, don’t trust yourself, always need proof of whatever it may be, only believes only when it is convenient for the sense of self, fails to follow up, refuses to practice what it preaches, needs to be rescued, wants to be the victim, beats up on the self, needs to be right all the time, continues to hold onto what doesn’t work. Then the root of the ego doesn’t want you to know this but it is all a lie, how else do you break free from lies that are keeping the pain hostage? The ego is the place that lies are created as the mind reader of what other peoples thinking keeps in front of you where in truth no one told you any of it!
How many times do we fear to tell the truth in fear of the trouble it will bring? Do you see the core error of what pain is in truth! This is what the ego does to ensure the pain will stay in place as fuel for the beginning statements that create all lies of the self!
How pain is the fuel for the ego to keep the pain alive! Pain interpreted by ego started long before you knew what thinking was in truth, and in this truth the ego took this as a means to be yourself in a self that was going to be convinced of it’s power to keep you as both entities incarcerated as the warden and inmate of yourself keeping you from your soul.
This prohibits the truth about the light you are in truth. You are this truth of the light you are in all things, to include the darkness that keeps you from your true essence. You know this inside yet your sense of self derives from the ego to keep you protected. Protected from what exactly?
What needs to be protected? What is it that you are protecting and why? Then the how’s will be found out, then the what’s will be found out, then the where is pointed to inside you to state this as a place that we needed this to begin with.
Pain is a great teacher of the truth, the truth that you are not alone, never alone, but the ego will make sure you know this is a not a truth, and it starts with what is going on outside you as the ego will make sure you see this outside! Never inside you!
Do you see the core in truth in this, or do you see the darkness and still try to translate what that darkness is from the ego that will make sure a lie comes to you instead!
Pain is a great awakener! In the pit of your stomach it tells you to not go down the dark alley yet the mind says it doesn’t look all that dark.. Then you step on nails the whole way down the alley and then your thinking says I told you so, and the pain in your stomach says nothing, it just hurts cause all the receptors in your feet are taking on the pain. Get it? This is vibrational to the core of light you are, never do you follow your feelings in the pit of your stomach and have been drawn to things in ego cause they will harm you cause you didn’t listen to your sense of self.
What do you do when you are seeking answers you try and translate the reasons you give yourself about anything in the mind, and when you come across what you don’t do you do it anyway because the ego says it will be one way or multiple ways. Which gives you the truth the feeling of what comes from your stomach or the thinking your ego has? When you stop telling lies for example the ego will step in and give you fear from the pain it is using to make sure the truth can’t set you free. It will make this powerful so you don’t even see the truth in the outcome for yourself! Who is this useful for? Who taught this to you? Who gave you permission to follow this inside yourself? Was it your sense of self that was derived from ego?
How do you heal your pain in your mind when the pain doesn’t originate from the material the mind made it out to be?
Lois and Clark
Special thanks to
We are we are listening Dear Soul~
As we embrace the truth about abandonment we also realize that the most vital part of our journey happens when we are brought into the world. In this world we vest in our first true place of connection in the relationship we have with our biological parents. Of this we find that we truly never see how we find ways to abandon ourselves. Here is an example… As a child even at an early age we were taught not to touch things.. or use to much energy in this I was the wild child.. Placed on Ritalin. This was a drug that as a description was what I was given…
Methylphenidate is used as part of a treatment program (including psychological, educational, and social measures) to treat attention deficit hyperactivity disorder – ADHD. It can help increase your ability to pay attention, stay focused on an activity, and control behavior problems. It may also help you to organize your tasks and improve listening skills. This medication is also used to treat a certain sleep disorder (narcolepsy). Methylphenidate is a mild stimulant that is thought to work by changing the amounts of certain natural substances in the brain.
They have since changed this to Adderal… which is the same but maybe less….
It reads as follows…
This medication may cause withdrawal reactions, especially if it has been used regularly for a long time or in high doses. In such cases, withdrawal symptoms (including severe tiredness, sleep problems, mental/mood changes such as depression) may occur if you suddenly stop using this medication. To prevent withdrawal reactions, your doctor may reduce your dose gradually.
Along with its benefits, this medication may rarely cause abnormal drug-seeking behavior (addiction). This risk may be increased if you have abused alcohol or drugs in the past. Take this medication exactly as prescribed to lessen the risk of addiction. Do not increase your dose or use this drug more often or for longer than prescribed. Properly stop this medication when so directed.
When this medication is used for a long time, it may not work as well. Talk with your doctor if this medication stops working well.
Now, I am no doctor, nor would I claim that this is purposeful to myself or any other human being, but I can state the obvious… When we become isolated and told we can’t focus, we become isolated, by being asked to be in control, and be controlled by others. What does this do to your sense of self if you don’t know how to communicate what is happening to the voice in the head that we are told to have… Remember getting in trouble and being told to think about your actions.. Yet, when you did what did to get into trouble, you clearly weren’t thinking at all… The outcome of this is that you now will think about the consequences and somewhere inside you is a seed that will be planted for how you view the outside world, and how you are treated within it.… Now if you would have asked me then, what I was feeling, and why I was constantly out of control! It wouldn’t have made sense, that I was out of control because I was always being controlled. This wasn’t a bad thing but when you are placed in this state of being… Here is what the result would look like. If I would have been asked why I was all over the place, I would have not been able to hear anything I was too busy being a ball of energy… Yet, for breakfast I had 2 bowls of Cap’n Crunch and 3 cups of hawaiian punch.. (yes a child running on pure sugar….) I played with all of my toys, and my brothers toys, and I just wanted to play… Heck I was only 5. Yet if I did something wrong threw a toy at my brother or broke the toy… It was a devastating truth that I was beat or smacked.. Now this will only translate into something that creates a behavior in me and a thought process that enabled the behavior…. Now I see this, as I didn’t feel loved, I felt hurt, Yet, what did I do that was the cause and effect of this? When we hurt, and can’t find our way to express the words that are impacting us, at such a young age.. We have to tell us something inside as a reason why those things happened… We scream, and cry, and then the whole I am running away words come to us to give us much needed protection or understanding… It was a way of defense, or a way of crying out… You see how this was? Just a way to use the mind for something that was already dark in nature with no true understanding of it other than it was taught from my parents parents from their parents.. We are all infected with this.. We become isolated in thinking about our actions and what those actions caused us in return…the beginning of a lie….
At about 8 years old was taken off Ritalin, and was way out of control.. to focus was hard because I was detoxing… and then I just felt lazy all the time.. I didn’t understand why I had no desire to play sports, to do things that were team oriented… at this point I had a lie in me that told me I was always going to disappoint people and I was unworthy of any type of privilege let alone to play with no abandon… Shortly there after my father stopped coming home to visit, but when he did, it was a full on report of all the bad things I did.. And he was the punisher, or the corrections officer of my choices, and of my doing things that were not with the rules….
I remember being stuck in a hallway at a desk facing the wall trying to do a math problem that I didn’t understand and was told I was stupid this was said repeatedly to me… and for hours I sat…. I relived and replayed this moment in my head, most of my life.. The feeling that happened to me in that moment and the thought process that was stricken inside me. I was forever abandoned by myself and my choices… I tried to be smart.. I tried to be logical.. Yet it would seem I would bore easily with simple task, or even complex task… I actually was pretty smart as I learned differently… I could learn by chaotic listening which is not normal by any stretch. Sitting at the table though… what I was saying inside myself was that I was worthless, I was unworthy of love, I was never going to amount to anything, I would never be able to take care of myself. I let everyone down… I was stupid, and the most powerful I wish I was never born… My parents would still be together if I was not those things mostly the last one…
The power of thinking is found in this and what it meant in my being… I no longer trusted my own choices or my actions or anything that my parents stated what they would say to me… I was on the lonely island of rebellion and survival is all it came down to.
I hurt… I was deeply wounded burying my root which was the truth… NO words would work… cause no one was listening, no one could hear me… What does this do to a child who is going to be in effect in this line of thinking for the next 30 years???
It will create lies in a life in reality that self worth was none… love was completely evasive and yet inside this child which was abandoned by the being that was growing was to be ignored. Everything was about the physical, everything was about the dream to protect to project and keep the box inside him hidden… It all was hidden in the box of what I told myself, no one else could feel.. No one else was hearing my thinking… Yet I could see the box in other people.. The place where they are lost, The dot on their heads that kept them from seeing how connected they were and the lies that are they holding onto that they created to keep themselves going. I was broken…SHATTERED inside the broken…
This was about the parentless existence I created it was about the parentless lie that I created to hide yet keep the pain… and to keep the pain alive through suffering. I always felt I was going to endure pain and that pain did find me almost every time. Every glimpse of true love I found.. love showed me true pain… If it wasn’t from something or someone outside me, it was always by something I did to create my own pain… I never realized I had given myself permission to suffer.. This permission was my own abandonment of myself.. When this became my truth the lies of what was my truth had to be gone into deeply to see this clearly…. It was abandonment, not from everyone outside me that tried to get me to see that they were not going to abandon me with love, but because I was already deep inside abandoning myself….
Abandonment is this… A lie that keeps us from our truth that we can’t abandon what we feel! Our mind can trap the emotion to give you the lie you need to abandon what you feel.. When you do this, you have silently given everyone else the energy to do what you have done to yourself! Abandon yourself….
We had a Question posted to us about our 10 month Series, as we wind down our first month.
Dear Lois and Clark:
I am Following your 10 month series, and have been reading your posts on Abandonment and Listening to the Radio shows, and am really looking forward to next months topic on pain and Junes Topic on Unconditional Love, I have seen the flyer and understand you offer a paid version, so what am I missing just looking from the outside in and following the “public” series.
Wow, Randall, what a great Question! and one we really have not answered until Now!
During our 10 month Series we are posting in our Public Forums, and Social Networks some of our Series Information! However for our Series Members we offer quite a bit more information and fun!!
We have a PRIVATE group our members are a part of and we have Very Enlightening and Active Discussion 24 hours a day! Our Members also are a part of our Monthly Workshops, where they are given personal projects to do,homework if you will lol We gather in the private forum to discuss these projects, often times very eye opening! We play “games” we get to know each other and get personal (only if you like) and sometimes we tend to go over allotted time because there is someone experiencing a “breakthrough” all the while with plenty of support from their fellow members as well as Lois and Clark!
We also have 2 live Webinars a month, where we gather and discuss the topics at hand and our personal stories and journeys and struggles. We guide and have fun and laugh as we teach the tools to break the cycles we find ourselves in! Breakthroughs in webinars are powerful as it is video and we get to see all of our members face to face and they get to see us!!! Often times we are laughing as a group and crying as a group, its freeing and cleansing and healing!
Our members also get 4 personal telephone sessions with us! and wow we have found those incredibly healing!
Our members also get a Personal Skype or FaceTime visit with us one on one, Fun and amazingly healing as we go deep inside and get real personal!
Also Randal at the end of every month as our members complete their series they receive by mail a certificate of Completion from Relationship Reinvented for each month completed! and at the end of the Series they will receive a very special Award of Completion of the Entire Series!
and the Healing is the best part, imagine diving into each one of these topics, going deep within and Healing the cycles within ! It is a Healing Series!!! I hope this helped! and we are here if you have any more questions!!
Lois and Clark (and I forget the Big Bonus,,,, meeting Lois and Clark 🙂 lol)