Healing series: How do I stand in my truth?

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How do I stand in my truth?
One of the most uncomfortable challenges of being human is seeing the truth vs. a lie.. We are born into this world without experiencing both positive and negative, so to not understand how we learn to tell the truth or a lie is unknown to us…
As we are infants we see energy we see those that show us love, some show us like and some show us something else.. As we come out of infancy we experience things more common in communication, Bobby is hungry. Mommy, Daddy and there are a list of words… Then as we get just a few years more.. The things we see are explained or not explained.. This part is where the lies begin, we are told we are to young to understand, or words are spelled out in front of us to exclude us from things. Or the energy is offset and we have no explanation why. We in turn start to say this energy is something we caused.. Therein lies the first of many lies.. As young as we are we start to say things inside. We don’t see it and don’t comprehend it, we just know that we are seeking the unknown and when we don’t have words or are shut down for any reason we know that we are experiencing something we now make something about something we are feeling on the inside.

Depending on what others say to us or how their energy is to us, we hear a voice inside that starts to say things that mostly leave us without a purpose or an identity in purpose. We have a mind that starts to generate this and state that and it really never is that someone says something hateful to us, we say it to ourselves…
Now as you can imagine this becomes based in a space that causes us to view everything skewed.. Is there truth to what you see? Not really, it depends on what you are surrounded by when it comes to understanding the actions of others, whether it be your father, your mother, your siblings or just in general other kids.. If you are bullied it can even be magnified even more.. This lie is a lie hurting others because of the lies that say inside that violence or bullying is a way of being in the world. Picking on someone who hurts worse than you do, it is all filled with lies.. Lies that you are not worthy of love, you are not much to anyone, no one can be nice to you, you are disabled from love… This is all the myriad of lies we have.. It starts with our first form of abandonment. rejection, abuse, punishment, confusion with no real explanation that creates a place to understand the actions. You see it can go way deeper than what I am even stating here. Broken trust in what anything is for what it is, because you know love within you!

You know it yet it doesn’t show itself to you, because of the things you have within you without seeking the truth in it. I had seen a little boy recently, he was sad… and I said are you ok? He looked at me and with the saddest most beautiful eyes he said to me… I don’t have a daddy… I said yes you do, I will be your father… He said well what about my real dad, I said son, every father has had a father that possibly didn’t show him the love that a dad can give. I can give you this.. The little boys eyes welled up and I held him why we both cried.. It was the most powerful hug I ever felt… As he cried he screamed, why doesn’t he love me? why doesn’t he want to see if I am ok? Why doesn’t he call me? What did I do that was so bad, I will take it back! I will be a good boy… The more I held him, I listened to him cry out.. all of his truths… He just wanted his father to love him, and tell him he was worth the world to him, and that he was proud to have him as his son. I listened as I heard the lies begin…

I am worthless, I don’t want to be anything when I grow up, I am not good enough for anything, I am not worth loving… I hurt inside because my father wishes I was never born… My heart was breaking for this child.. I couldn’t hold him any tighter for fear I would hurt him. I said it just isn’t true… He said yes it is! As loud as this boy was screaming I could feel the pain coming from him, coming from what he felt inside. The fear, the abandonment, the torture he was under from being attacked from his mind over and over. He finally said… I hate my father… I said Son… you can’t hate your father it just isn’t true none of it.

He tried to pull away… I said what is a father to you? He said not the man who is my father, and I said so how can you hate him for being something he is not? He paused… it was as though something in him shifted.. He was quiet for a long time and then wiped tears from his eyes and said… What do you mean how can I hate him for something he is not? I looked at him and said do you know your grandparents? Grandma or Grandpa his parents? He said yes, I said what do you know about them. Well I know my grandma very well, I see her all the time, and I said what about your grandpa, well he died when I was young but he wasn’t there much for the family! So I said well son, if his father wasn’t there for him, where would you father learn to be a father? His silence was overwhelming. I said you know that pain you feel for your father not being here for you? He said yes! I said can you forgive your father for not knowing how to be a father to you? He said I guess so…. I then pulled him back and looked into this child’s eyes. I said son… No matter what you say inside, your father loves you, he loves you but to be something he was never taught to be with no template how successful will he be? would he make a good father to you?

His eyes as swelled as they became, looked at me and said I suppose not! I looked deeper into him and could see a release from what he felt in anger. I said do you realize how deeply he does love you can you feel it in your heart, that even thought he is not in your life, that heart beat you have is the most unconditional love he gave to you?

He said yes… so I said don’t reject the heart that beats for you.. love you so you can love others and more than that forgive what you don’t know for being upset with things you can’t know will only create suffering. Can you stand in this truth?

Yes, well I am your father and I will be for as long as I am breathing. It was then I felt such tears… Yes the little boy was me and I was speaking to the inner child that always seems to show himself when he isn’t connected inside.

 

How do you stand in your truth?

 

 

Love deeply,

Clark

 

 

Out on a limb Trust! Healing series March Trust 2014

 

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Trust Out On A Limb …

 

 

How you trust and what you trust are significantly impacted by the way you can kiss someone and won’t let go!  You hold back, you hold back, from the place inside that has been hurt in love, hurt inside and no way of turning back the hands of time to remove the place inside you that expects or better still trusts that you will be hurt.

 

This is so common and so powerful it just doesn’t effect what happens to you when you are intimate, but it happens when you are able to communicate with anyone..  You will not trust telling them your truths, not trust telling them what you feel because a dismissal of what you feel is going to suffer and it makes you suffer from the suffocation of not being heard, not being understood, not being loved for whatever may come out of you.   This strikes your security and hurts you sense of self in the most violent way, your trust is compromised by your thinking and your thinking does the protection of how you suffer.  Isn’t this backwards, shouldn’t you be able to share what is going on inside you without feeling broken, without feeling a sense of self that is completely distraught.

 

So many use the term go with the flow where the flow with them is in disruption!  The thinking begins and it becomes a disconnection of the self in ways that no one ever truly sees.  This is painful as the pain body becomes awakened by the sense of silence that is placed in a box where inside you are left screaming for not being heard.  What does this have to do with Trust you may ask.  Well inside you begins the words, no one is listening, no one believes, I can say this or keep this in here, it is best to keep this hidden.   You now will have a root that your trust can never flourish because of this belief, because of the words that stay in you that says you can’t speak what you feel.  Rejection of the self is the most common form of trust that can be broken.

 

You will become molded into being a specific way because you think you can’t trust what you feel and you can’t trust that you can tell anyone what you feel.  The lies begin to become powerful inside and you will say things that will hurt others without not even seeing that you are only infected with the lies you keep inside.  As you find this form of abandonment in what trust is within you, something shifts.. Something is lost, something is silent in you and something is isolated.   You then will find a place where you can just be safe inside yourself and unless it is activated, will you activate the broken trust in you.

 

What is it to activate the broken trust in you? Let’s say you recently are broken up with someone and you got hurt because your trust was impacted, it is not uncommon to say I need time to heal where in the healing process you find fault in something you did or didn’t do and now will say something is wrong with you, you will either be single for a long time, or try and get back out there yet your sense of being able to be with someone will be less than, or more than depending on what happen to your trust in yourself to be with someone else who will not hurt you.  You even trust the story that you have experienced and it keeps you from ever truly healing.  You don’t trust your own choices, how is that healing?  You don’t trust that what you will find in someone else will be their trustworthiness to always be honest with you.  To not hurt you like you once were hurt.  Your mind is always in active in overdrive, because of what you experienced and it becomes painful to you, not because of them, but because of your sense of self that suffered with no true healing.   What is true healing? True healing is the moment you say why don’t I trust?  You go into it, you go into what says your trust is broken.  Have you experienced something like this only to find that you can’t fix what is broken because you want or need to give responsibility to someone else to fix this!  Yet no one will ever be able to get close enough to you because you have stated the core statement of why no one ever will… The statement is I was hurt by someone who betrayed me infecting my trust in them and myself.  The ultimate betrayal is not found in what was done to you, but what was done to the sense of self that says you can’t be with anyone else now because of this, or you can’t trust your own choices now because of what has happened.

 

In every moment you trust… we don’t see it this way but it is the truth. You trust that others who are driving down the same road as you have control over their own vehicle, you trust that the electric company will keep on your electricity, you trust that your internet will not go down before you reach the end of this post.

 

You see trust is activated in everything we do, yet it remains broken in connection by choices and by not seeing the impact of those choices to our core trust we have in everything.   What changes would you make if you could wake everyday and be able to go out on a limb and trust completely?

 

Would you cry in all moments because your trust was broken?  Or would at some point you trust yourself again to trust everything again not being stuck in the time machine of what was and making yourself suffer from a trust that may have been challenged?  It should never keep you from the truth of connection or the truth of what trust can give you inside yourself.

 

When you look at this under the light of how this was written here…

 

What would you do with the trust you currently have and would you change any part of it?  If so when?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

 

 

Trust in your life? Healing series March week 3 2014

When-Trust-is-BrokenWhat is trust if you don’t have it in your life? or what if it is broken?

 

As a child I always trusted in everything, as I did this it was abandoned in nature, I cried a lot, not because I was abandoned by anyone in truth, but because my thought process betrayed me and I trusted that it would.

 

No matter how deep you see into what you experience, or did experience, or what is to experience, you will lose something in yourself that doesn’t keep you planted in yourself.  You can feel the trust escape in this way.  You trust you will experience everything that is harmful to your being human..

 

Being human…. How do you trust being human when you trust in a way that is only going to give you what you ask for in trust.   You trust you will be alone, you trust that you will be enraged, you trust that you will be without, and then all of that manifest itself to give you what you asked for in the first place.

 

When you say you just want to be happy do you trust this? Do you just go into the present moment and elect in trust to be happy?  Do you feel trust is always a moment away or that it was something you had back then?  What is trust defined as?

 

As a noun it is ….. a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

 

As a verb it is….. Believe in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of.

 

Although it seems it is action, it is an energy!  How does trust become energy, really go into this here for this is the awakener that we found we didn’t even pay close enough attention to as we thought we were losing our minds.  When you lie inside you then become immersed in what that lie is not protecting, it is not protecting you or protecting those that love you.  You hurt inside because of this and you don’t trust what the truth can give you!

 

Let me give you something that I trusted inside myself.. and you tell me what choices you would have made.  I trusted that I was always going to get hurt by others, I trusted they were hearing me, but not listening.

 

Even the core of why I found myself which this inside my deep love I have for the love of my life, made statements to me, to challenge my trust to challenge, what I was feeling.  “My love is even a part of this, she said to me “Clark! You are up here!  And the rest of us are down here!”

 

This was said to me over and over as I had started to find my awakening.  It hurt, not because I thought I was higher or embracing a higher self, or lower self than what was outside me to now be awakened by interactions,  but because I was waking up rapidly and my trust was expanding inside me. The things that were said would hurt me, and I would think in ego to become quite frustrated.  Not seeing it was ego in hurt, as a defense of trust saying, I couldn’t be heard… and I trusted it completely. I trusted I would be better off keeping my awaking to myself in silence.  I tried to contain what I was going through, I tried to explain what the pain was inside of me, and as I continued on my path I realized I wasn’t doing anything with the trust in what I was experiencing an allowed myself to trust in completely.

I did realize that I couldn’t see higher or lower, all I could see was what was within… I trusted what I was experiencing in that moment as I do now.. What was in that, what is seen as higher is unattainable what is seen as lower is easier to go to, yet it gives you the outside view of the truth.  What could I trust by finding what most call the higher self.. I trusted that going inside was the truth to what this was. I trusted that the answers coming from me where the truth about this thing that most need to attain to be.

 

I didn’t need to come to a higher way of thinking, I went into A inner part of being.

 

I could see that this was there as a truth to be something more, it was the undiscovered places inside of us that we aren’t paying attention to, to trust.   I trusted in my own pain, I trusted I needed to go into the pain to see what it was,

 

I trusted in my desire to find the depth of love, only to realize it goes deeper than we can see cause we are beings of trust, who trust out, not trust in!  If you haven’t seen the connection to how you trust in yourself vs what you trust outside yourself,

 

What would you trust in you as a human being here to dive into something within you that calls to you?

 

Well Clark, how does one go to a path no one is talking about doing?

 

How much attention is paid to how you trust your heart will keep beating in this moment? How much love is that capable of to do that very thing?

 

To answer the simple question, What is trust if you don’t have it in your life? This question is false in you…

 

You trust that you can read this and you do! You trust you will get to something and you do!  You trust your heart will continue to give you unconditional love and it does, for you wouldn’t be able to read this right now and say wait a minute do I trust deeper than I think.

 

The answer is YES!

 

Your knowing knows this, and it trust it will wake you to the depth that what you say in words will not impact the unconditional love your heart will give you when you stop and pay close attention even the pain that can be felt from thinking will lessen when you focus the energy of trust that your heart is giving you in all moments.

 

Isn’t that the source of where trust derives from in the first place?

 

 

Isn’t it the source of all?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

Powerful awakening of what happens to our core when we trust inside ourselves!  Watch below!

Do you trust those that love you? Healing series March 2014

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Do you trust those that love you?

 

 

The intent of trust is something that we still make about other people not seeing that we have broken something inside that is broken inside the self.  Trust is a very powerful word that becomes instilled in us at an early age.  We trust we are not abandoned, we trust someone will protect us from pain or suffering, we trust we will be loved unconditionally.  When this doesn’t happen what does it do to our trust?

 

Well let’s list these 5 things to show you trust in action or as an energy these 5 things are random yet will give you an idea you will find that you will find other words that show up in trust that you may or may not be seeing.

 

Abandonment

Abuse

Loyalty

Communication

Addiction

 

 

Abandonment – if you experienced this as a child born into a world with the love you have inside and you become abandoned by those that are supposed to love you without conditions you will then see that everyone will abandon you, you trust it! You trust as you find love finding you getting older you will trust that it will abandon you and you make choices to be with someone who will abandon you, not because of what happened to you as a child but because of what you told yourself inside that gave you the same energy to abandon yourself and make poor choices to make sure you find abandonment as an energy even someone who normally doesn’t abandon you will be infected with this energy in trust you have for yourself and will abandon you without even seeing that they are getting this energy from something you have hidden within you.  Why not embrace this about yourself to not abandon yourself in this? Wouldn’t this be how you remove or heal this very thing?

 

 

 

Abuse – You lost trust because you were abused and you trust that you will be abused again feel the emotional truth of this and it will be a way to keep you protected, isn’t that trust? You even will find abusive relationships because the abuse brings you aliveness and you trust this as a part of your aliveness.  It is not as sick as you might think, for the thinking is saying you will be hurt, you will be emotionally distraught where in truth you are distraught even before this happens.  It is dormant for a period of time but in the back of the mind where the ego is accessing this pain and trauma, it exist within the emotional existence of a past experience you call to.  This story inside as the story teller demands this be something you are still a victim of.  Trusting in victim energy is always painful and always addictive. This story is always there for you to trust in.  It’s purpose in trust is that you are pain and that pain has to be emotionally embraced and you must trust in that pain as a way of being.  Not seeing that the trust is very deceiving and that it will only call to more of the same in energy that infected you in the first place.  There are very disturbing truths about what someone endures that will do this to others. Yet when it happens to you, it infects you and takes you over and you trust that it will and so it does.

 

 

 

Loyalty – If your loyal it is a trust factor because you see that being on someones side is always a way to receive trust in return.  Yet when this is lost with one and then another and then something else. You will hide inside and keep to yourself, you will even say you can’t trust anyone and those who shouldn’t be trusted find you highly attractive whether for a love relationship or other.  They will betray you because you emit the energy of betraying yourself from what has happened to you. We raise ourselves to break cycles… the cycle of what this trust does breaks that breaking of cycles.  In other words when you stop trusting yourself you no longer become loyal to yourself and then others who are not loyal to you or themselves will find you.  So you decide to find someone who won’t hurt you and you find someone safe who won’t do you trust they will find out why you choose them and then the trust of that trust in them will start to be questioned?  Trust you will find loyal and you will but trusting that you are not able to trust yourself will give you this for a little while and the symptoms of this will give you something else in this process.

 

 

 

 

Communication – You trust that someone will communicate with you and when you stop communication you expect them to give you the communication you stopped giving to them.  Do you trust that they will give you something you won’t give them or yourself?  Yes, you in there deep somewhere in you, you do!  It is not on purpose it is by energy in purpose the broken record of communicating the same thing over and over again which is toxic to all communication especially the communication shared on this planet.  We even use communication to attack in ways to communicate broken trust that we will be harmed in the process thus elevating this truth and it is returned. We are hurt because we trust that we will be hurt.  Do you see the energy in motion this causes us is directly embedded in how we communicate without trust.  Recently we had someone come to us about someone they met, they told them they were single because the last relationship they had they were cheated on again… they said they always seem to be cheated on.  Do you know what energy transpired from this? Do you trust that what this communication did was actually seeking this type of energy to begin with?

 

 

 

 

Addiction – When you trust that you have an addiction isn’t that only giving the addiction power. I was a sex addict, I was addicted to sex, and when I told myself that I felt an overwhelming feeling, it made it easy of saying well it is a part of me that I can trust.  And so, it made it so!  Addiction to anything is a trust behavior that allows the symptoms to be dismissed instantly. You will not easily accept what the root of those symptoms are, you trust that you have it to cope with everything. The deep truth is in the dark to you and when you feel dark it only activates the trust you put in your addiction! I know this for it was me in all the addictions I could become addicted to.  The darker you felt in the addiction the more you can trust that very thing will help you continue to feel dark.  Trust is powerful it is a dependable friend that the ego can use to make you pay for being disconnected from yourself thus being disconnected from everyone else. Making sure you can trust any lies and seldom any truth that is not being noticed!

 

 

How is your trust? Can you see it clearly?  Is it dependent upon others who will break this trust in you?  Or is this already there in you because you do trust yourself negatively or don’t trust yourself positively?

 

See how trust is being used in ego to make you completely right in what the trust will give you without seeing that it gives you what is broken within you?

 

Do you feel this in truth to trust it?

 

Who would you be if you saw trust in this way? What would you start trusting and what would you stop trusting?

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

How deep is your Trust? Healing series 2014 March – Trust!

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Broken Trust?

I can’t forgive you…  I can’t be with you… I can’t do this anymore…  I can’t..  Whatever this is has a way of bringing you to a very shaky foundation in trust… We use these words in ego to signify that something in us is broke.  When you become unstable in this way of trust the choice to make the right decision always will seem as though you are teetering from what is hindering destiny from coming to you…  I can’t is the same as I won’t or the other words that follow such as i’ll try, or I am potential… the trust in all of this is on shaky ground. Isn’t it?

 

I have doubt, is also apart of trust.  When you trust something will fail!  What does it show you in the end that is the truth about what you said it would do happens…and…. FAIL will not abandon you!  Then that what you said becomes that you were right!  Is that what you are saying inside? A majority of us do!  What about when you say I have been let down by others… Is this trust as well.  Yes it is, because you are trusting that this will always be what you will receive outside you, don’t worry it does!  Trust is a very powerful energy!

 

 

I have been through trust training and I realized that I didn’t trust a thing years ago and still didn’t wake up to it..  You can tell how much you trust when you do the trust fall… You always fear that someone will not catch you, and you will hit the ground, and get hurt.  Sound like some choices you keep making in your existence here?

 

Another is the blindfold lead where someone is leading you and has to direct you with their common sense of directions..  The failure in that is that they can’t see what sinkholes are placed cause they are trying to get you through the trees… Someone who is completely aware of your path by leading this in front of you will always tell you the truth.  They will endure the path with you and not lead you astray…. Do you see how this can be difficult without trust?  Especially if they are not having you walk without them directly in front of you.  How will they ensure you won’t get hurt if they are not willing to walk the path with you?  Pay attention, the message here is deep!

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The awakened truth about trust is that you trust you have one more day to do something significant, you have one more moment to make a difference in your own being and yet we all get caught up by the same choices doing the same thing over and over again.  We find comfort in this energy of doing the same thing cause we trust it!  Having the same thoughts, we trust nothing changes so it doesn’t.

 

When I decided that I was going to live in truth I realized that I didn’t trust… I didn’t trust I would be accepted for the truth and it proved me right.  I wasn’t accepted… It wasn’t until I realized that being in my truth needed my trust just as much as I needed my love to get me through this broken trust.  The conditions of what my love gave me were without trust.  Do you see how unconditional love is?  It needs the very thing you won’t give to break you free of what you don’t give to yourself.  Telling my truth should their be conditions of who I can tell or what I can do with what I trust?  The answer was always no!  I had to trust that telling my truth was going to show that I am very truthful. I will call out to the truth and trust that the truth finds me more truth.

 

 

When I was abandoned and I abandoned others, was it related to trust.  Yes, I didn’t trust myself and in turn didn’t know in truth if I could trust others.  I didn’t know if I spoke from my pain if I would be accepted I trusted I wouldn’t!  If I could be damaged could I trust that I would be loved unconditionally? Can you?  I realize now that was just a lie that I was living inside myself that gave me the ability to walk away so easily from others.  Not wondering if they hurt by my actions, not wondering if I was indeed loving enough to let them go.

 

I let go, because I couldn’t face my own pain, but I could surely see my pain in others, whether I caused it or not.  I wanted to fix their pain and bring them into a world of imagination where no pain could harm them.  Not seeing that I trusted that I could do this, I was able to for a short while.  Then I knew that my own pain would infect them somehow, they couldn’t see the truth about my not trusting that they could feel anything remotely like what I felt inside.  Maybe it was that I was too genuine in my imagination, or that I was not standing in my truth enough for it to be genuine.  When I felt what I felt deeply, I realized that without me trusting that the right thing would come to me something else would come to me, and show me that this was just my imagination of the lie that made it possible to not tell the truth, I trusted this as my truth, that the lie was always right. Trust is intent… get it?

 

As humans we experience so much of what we hear inside that we isolate ourselves and miss the truth about trust.  Trust that you will be hurt and you will, trust that you will not be loved and you won’t.

 

Trust that you are not worthy of a deep love and yes you will get what you say in trust.  Trust that no one can hear you screaming inside and on one will.  Trust is the intent of what you want to have whether truth or a lie to find you and it does.

 

If you say you can feel another’s heart beat in your own as your truth and trust that what you feel in that heart beat inside you will find you then trust that it will completely!  No hesitation for that hesitation gives you the same in the trust you placed into it!

 

If you say you want to be in a truthful deep love relationship, trust completely that it will find you!

 

If you say you want to love yourself without conditions then trust that you will.  Without the words that I started with, it is always going to be a very confusing energy till you decide that you want the complete trust of what it is that you say you want!   Then make that the reason in being for that trust to give you what you know is in truth yours to give to yourself.

 

If you are having a hard time and want peace then trust you will find complete peace.  Any voice in you that says, “Yes but”.. Is a hole in that trust that says I am not enough yet.. where the lie is embedded is the truth waiting for it to see itself.  Say in self to the lie, “you will no longer tell lies for the heart that beats does so in a trusting manor, and that trust is something that I believe in.” Give yourself the wholeness in asking for trust to give you the truth about how you trust and it will give this to you when it is without question.

 

 

 

Love deeply….  Trust and let it find you!

 

Clark

 

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Do you Trust YOURSELF???

 

 

trustClick on the link below to listen in to our latest radio show, Wrapping up februaries pain/suffering series and Beginning Marches Trust Series,,,,great callers, great show!!

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/03/03/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series-marchtrust

Before you Attack your Partner Look inside yourself!

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Doesn’t it seem like when you lay down to go to sleep IF you have mind noise that mind noise continues inside of you one way or another into the next day which is supposed to be NEW! Usually I can shut my mind off and count my breaths or listen to my heartbeat whatever way I can usually shut my mind down and fall asleep and journey into someplace the Universe needs me to be. I remember the last “ thought” I had before falling into sleep. “why do I have to breathe in these toxic fumes, I dont smoke, I never have”  and then it began  the journey inside of myself. i have been soulfully conscious of what I put in my body.

 

I say soulfully because I had to soul train my mind because my mind LOVES Cake,  Chocolate Cake, White CAKE well any kind of Cake… CAKE IS DAMN GOOD,,, JUST SAYING.

 

So I had to tell my mind yes mind, your right cake is good,,, but eating the entire cake is not good, you will be permitted to have cake just not the whole damn thing lol. my last Doctors visit was a real pooper, The fact is I am overweight, I feel great because my Soul is Clean, I stand in  my truth at all times, I have nothing hidden, all my dark secrets are out my twin KNOWS who I am, what i stand for he knows all of my truths even the really ugly ones.I realized a long time ago why I carried extra weight, it was for protection, mind noise that no one would want me or try to abuse me as well as physical protection from my secrets, they were buried deep inside of me,,,,All is out now and I simply dont need this protection. Nor do I want IT!

 

This is all just extra I dont need, So I have vowed to get rid of it, and I am, however over the past couple of days I have went over in calories and have not moved as much as I would like so have felt discouraged, and when I get discouraged I like to blame others for my discouragement its just easier that way lol

 

So I noticed everything everyone else was doing wrong, when in reality it was my own self I was disappointed in, I went to bed last night discouraged with ME, I dont enjoy the toxic smoke from cigarettes i am a non smoker however my Twin enjoys it and I love him unconditionally and he’s not a regular smoker he smokes very infrequently, HOWEVER I find that when I dont take as good of care of my self he tends to smoke more,,, sometimes this connection goes so much deeper than the human mind can imagine.

I hurt my body the past two days but not continuing the cycle of “physical healing”. He is Physically ill, I am feeling his pain, he is having some kidney issues and I woke up this morning in pain and I WAS PISSED!  (I suppose it the same type of pissed he feels when he experiences my menstral cramps :).

 

My journey took me inside of me, why I was disappointed in ME, what I had done to get off track, what I could have done different and why I didn’t. There was no blame on anyone else it was ME. I want to be healthy, I want to be fit, I want that for me, for my kids and for my Twin because I Know he feels it, I want the energy that comes with being healthy, I am on the mission to get it.

 

My mind wanted to blame everyone else for my failures, when in fact I haven’t failed at all, I am still making drastic changes I am still on track when I fall off and consume to many calories thats my fault not anyone else’s. It has nothing and EVERYTHING to do with my twin, does that make sense? It has nothing and everything to do with him. It has everything to do with me, and my mindset and how I see things, It has everything to do with my control of me and how I treat my own body, when I heal so does he, when he heals so do I, When we fall apart physically we have to heal together. When I eat badly he smokes more, when he smokes more I eat badly.

 

To Heal this I have to go inside myself and find out what it is I am doing to not heal. So I wake up from that message filled Journey and I feel refreshed, ready to start a new day, my son woke me up at 8 am, I felt pain in my back, I was happy to take some of my twins pain, I was ready to get up and  begin a brand new healthier day, when I sat with my son and the smoke consumed me.

 

I tried to shut my mind down, I tried to not say anything, I hate smoke I always have, I vowed to never be with a smoker and I never was, I would not even date a smoker, so how ironic is the Universe my twin is a smoker, I love him unconditionally and that means loving him and his habit. I never want to Judge and I dont, I never have looked at him differently because he’s a smoker. I love him and if that means loving him while he smokes I do, and I always will.

I usually dont really notice him smoking because he smokes so rarely however the past couple of days its been more frequent.

So I got up without saying anything and just went back to the bed to lie down and fell back asleep for a while,,, and yet another dream Journey,,,What I do effects him, he has been smoking more frequent because I have been not taking care of myself more frequently. I remember a conversation I had with my mind, he has stated he was going to quit I know 20 times.

 

however I have stated i am going to get get healthy 100 times, to no avail, However this time I took a soul vowel and i am on mission,,,

 

He knows we are Twins and what he does effects me so why would he do that to us?

well I also know we are Twins and he’s feeling me unhealthy why would I overeat?

 

Well If he’s going to sabotage us , so am I

so You will be double unhealthy great plan!

 

 

I know without doubt when I get healthy he will no longer have the urge to smoke, its how twins work. We get healthy together. Today is a new day my mind is shut off, my ego is not allowed to have a say so in this. I will no longer attack my partner for what he is doing! I will no longer blame him for me being unhealthy!

 

When I fall off the wagon this is no ones issue but mine, I will no longer blame anyone else, I will no longer look for anyone else’s faults, I will go inside and find what it is I am doing to cause this behavior, It all begins within me, the destruction or the healing, I choose healing!

Love Lois

How darkness becomes the light….. A Ghost!

innerchildGhost…

 

This blog is dedicated to the mind that takes and catalogs information of past experiences and continues to speak as a voice that we misidentify as a sense of self…

 

As a little child we all experience something that creates the ego.. This ego keeps a dialogue with us as we grow.. as we grow it gives us all the attention we ever endure.  Notice I will not choose need or want as endure has to take responsibility for something..  I will however, point to the truth of this as a place that we derive our sense of self from.  What happens when the ego is found out???   It seeks to keep a layer over this episode or that episode of what we experienced keeping us from our origins of love.

 

Recently, there was a woman who was thinking of the despair she was in within her existence.. All the choices she made were from this ego.. As a child she wasn’t close to her mother, and her father, well that is a different story.. But, the child was seeking a mother who abandon her in ways that she just didn’t comprehend. This birth of the pain body kept her in the most constant state of being validated, heard, embraced and loved..

 

Validation as an energy serves no real purpose outside you, other than to keep you searching for an answer over the lie you told yourself inside that you needed to seek outside yourself to find moments of comfort and discomfort.  What if you inside found the place where you saw this and saw the child that endured this?   It is quite a journey..  For you see, the child’s hands coming through the darkness to grab you, but what you don’t see is the child reaching into a dark place to pull you out of this.. You run in fear of this unknown…. This illusion is quite tricky as we see darkness and feel we are consumed in it, we don’t see that we are the light in that darkness and just surrounded by the dark ego that is in effect which is our sense of self… As we see in this way our inner child is reaching and grasping for us and all we do is run.. for that is what we are told to do by ego.. These hands that reach from the light into the darkness are the hands that come through to embrace us..

 

 

I asked her… What do you see in the darkness she said.. I see a little girls hands.. I said how do you see her in the darkness… She said she is dark.. I said you see the little girl in the dark… She said yes… Her ego made the exploded view of her inner child into a small set of hands in a dark cloud… How could this be.. Let’s see this from the eyes of a child.. A child has no sense of thought, which means it doesn’t have an ego or darkness.. So, why would a child reach down in darkness, as I asked her what she felt… she stated I am running from her… I said wait!  Why My friend?  Why don’t you go to her and put your arms around her?

 

 

She was quiet and the shift occurred…  How could she see the child in the dark… The child is in the light.. Only love has light.. How else does a child see love? The birth of the ego creates a  question when it doesn’t receive it.  This was powerful as the anger that was validated submerged in the ego into the darkness.. She closed her eyes and held her inner child.. As this happen she cried vert hard as though listening to a child who was just being born again… for 30 something years she ran from the light, which is the inner child..  The child we all are birthed with.. The child that only knows love, no judgements, no abandon, no betrayal just pure love, this includes content and labeling removed.

 

I said why did you think she was the darkness?

 

This is where it became very powerful to heal…

 

She said because everyone ran away from her so I did to….  She was seeking the validation as to why they always would leave, never why they would hold her!

 

For a child loves in this way they don’t know any other way… As we do this we hurt.. We fear, We get angry, We fight, We destroy, and we become destroyed in our view of what we in truth truly want… Which is love without reason, without consequence, without material, without judgements, without content and without labeling..  Love as an energy does the most powerful thing in healing, not with an I’m sorry but with a let go and embrace of what we hide inside which is the inner child of you!

 

After embracing this child.. I said stay here.. for what the child really needs is the root of this connection to grow..  This will bring you the greatest love you are here to experience…  It is the bread crumbs of the truth.. Anything else is just ego….

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark

How to heal pain in truth! Feb Healing series Pain and Suffering..

bruce lee teacherHow is pain healed in truth?

 

The post and radio show is dedicated to Ego (your mind)…

 

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/relationship-reinvented/2014/02/17/relationship-reinvented-2014-healing-series-f

 

 

If you live in worry, doubt, afraid, or judge other people or feel judged, it tells you that you are attacked by being yourself or attack others from this same very place, or afraid to trust others, don’t trust yourself, always need proof of whatever it may be, only believes only when it is convenient for the sense of self, fails to follow up, refuses to practice what it preaches, needs to be rescued, wants to be the victim, beats up on the self, needs to be right all the time, continues to hold onto what doesn’t work. Then the root of the ego doesn’t want you to know this but it is all a lie, how else do you break free from lies that are keeping the pain hostage? The ego is the place that lies are created as the mind reader of what other peoples thinking keeps in front of you where in truth no one told you any of it!

 

How many times do we fear to tell the truth in fear of the trouble it will bring? Do you see the core error of what pain is in truth!  This is what the ego does to ensure the pain will stay in place as fuel for the beginning statements that create all lies of the self!

 

 

How pain is the fuel for the ego to keep the pain alive!   Pain interpreted by ego started long before you knew what thinking was in truth, and in this truth the ego took this as a means to be yourself in a self that was going to be convinced of it’s power to keep you as both entities incarcerated as the warden and inmate of yourself keeping you from your soul.

 

 

This prohibits the truth about the light you are in truth. You are this truth of the light you are in all things, to include the darkness that keeps you from your true essence.  You know this inside yet your sense of self derives from the ego to keep you protected.  Protected from what exactly?

 

What needs to be protected? What is it that you are protecting and why? Then the how’s will be found out, then the what’s will be found out, then the where is pointed to inside you to state this as a place that we needed this to begin with.

 

Pain is a great teacher of the truth, the truth that you are not alone, never alone, but the ego will make sure you know this is a not a truth, and it starts with what is going on outside you as the ego will make sure you see this outside! Never inside you!

 

Do you see the core in truth in this, or do you see the darkness and still try to translate what that darkness is from the ego that will make sure a lie comes to you instead!

 

Pain is a great awakener!  In the pit of your stomach it tells you to not go down the dark alley yet the mind says it doesn’t look all that dark.. Then you step on nails the whole way down the alley and then your thinking says I told you so, and the pain in your stomach says nothing, it just hurts cause all the receptors in your feet are taking on the pain.  Get it?  This is vibrational to the core of light you are, never do you follow your feelings in the pit of your stomach and have been drawn to things in ego cause they will harm you cause you didn’t listen to your sense of self.

 

What do you do when you are seeking answers you try and translate the reasons you give yourself about anything in the mind, and when you come across what you don’t do you do it anyway because the ego says it will be one way or multiple ways.  Which gives you the truth the feeling of what comes from your stomach or the thinking your ego has?  When you stop telling lies for example the ego will step in and give you fear from the pain it is using to make sure the truth can’t set you free. It will make this powerful so you don’t even see the truth in the outcome for yourself!   Who is this useful for? Who taught this to you? Who gave you permission to follow this inside yourself?  Was it your sense of self that was derived from ego?

 

How do you heal your pain in your mind when the pain doesn’t originate from the material the mind made it out to be?

 

 

Love deeply,

 

Lois and Clark

 

Todays show

 

Special thanks to

 

Sheri from

http://theothersideofugly.com

 

Eileen from

 

http://eileenbild.com

 

We are we are listening Dear Soul~

 

 

The Story of Pain…. Healing Series Pain & Suffering!

I-Am-PhrasesThe Story and the Story teller…..

 

 

How do we keep the pain alive?  Even to nurture it is found in what we do when we experience pain and start to replay the story of how that pain was endured..  This pain is residual pain that is there as a means to create the space for suffering.. the suffering is the only way this can be the nurturing factor of pain.

 

When we are alone for example the role in which we play is the victim in this the result of the story that we are going to endure a happy beginning and a very painful ending.. Is this your story? Is this what you do to keep the pain alive?  We make statements of not being loved and replay a mental movie to make this true.  What does this energy do that is created in the story in the world of form?  What does it give you?  It gives you the pain you endured and sometimes it is amplified more because we now have this as our lie to keep the pain alive…

 

What if the story was rewritten, not in what your mind tells you about the story that is, but in your being of truth in being which is no story at all.. Just a moving truth in energy!

 

We asked the question who would you be without your pain…  The pain is only a pain.. it births you into being more awake… When you experience pain why add the story to what that pain is to keep the pain alive?  If you identity your pain with a story.. this creates the story to keep the pain which is what is called suffering…  When you suffer it is because of the story of pain.. Is this not a fact?

 

When you watch someone in pain.. Watch as the witness of the pain get greater in the story they share with you.. Many of times this happen’s and we don’t stop to see the suffering and not extend a hand to hold them when they do.  The story will lessen somehow, not because we didn’t listen but because we did so and absorbed this within them and take this within yourself. This to can either keep the story alive for them or give them a different view of the story because you accepted them and their pain threw it!

 

iamBeing vulnerable to allow someone this release of the story is never going to end the story teller in any of us, only we have the power to do this.  We do this by choice, we do this by breaking the conditions that were met to end the story for the story teller in the mind to continue.  The ego is a brilliantly beautiful story teller.  It directs you in a way that keeps this story alive within you.  The core of the story is not pain anymore it is residue of the pain that is already within you.  Scraping the bottom of the barrel of pain to the place where the words once said were in place to endure the consequences of a past pain to keep for later.  This residue is the spots we have that remove any chance of pure light and keep us in the dark of our story to keep hidden from the world.  The world is going to evolve to make sure this dark reach of the universe within you sees pain.. a pain that is no more true as it is that time stands still.  If you see this your mind will say yes but…  yes but is a lie you are telling inside to save some for later.. The path undefined is the path to what you would be without your pain in truth.  It is how you remove time, being timeless is the only cure for the story to end… For time is what is in place for the mind to catalog any story to bring it back to you when it seeks the self in pain.

 

This databank is corrupted… ever reinstalled software that came corrupted, or what about erased the hard drive to start a new… This is the end of any story right?  Who told you that you can’t erase the hard drive… How beautiful does your machine run if this is you in every moment?  To include this one!

 

 

Love deeply,

 

Clark