Clark, thank you for the wonderful posts on this topic http://wp.me/p2ML45-14O . I have a question for you about my situation that I would like to ask. How do you best handle it when your Twin Flame even goes so far to block you out of their mind to the point where they would deny you exist, and somehow block even connection to the love spiritually? Mine is married, with children, and had found himself unable to leave his family because of fear, guilt, and love for his children. This left us unable to be together, and while we worked together for a couple of years pretending nothing had happened and a connection didn’t exist, I found the constant lie to be too exhausting and I left that job a year ago. I haven’t seen or heard from him since. I get an immense amount of sadness and feelings of suffocation coming to me through our connection, but if I try for anything else all I see is him as a statue, with his back constantly facing me no matter how I try to see his face. When I last spoke to him it was clear to me that he had completely broken. He was in actual shock that I had quit the job, he was robotic, and nothing I could say or do could reach him. I told him I still cared, I told him I still felt the connection.. he sat in silence and stared at me. When he did speak, it was to say bizarre things about his “intensive therapy” that he was in.
So for me it is quite painful. I already had issues with abandonment, and have had to try and work my way through this, without being able to get anything through the connection except further pain. I’m single, and strongly suspect that if he is to ever enter my life again (uncertain but unlikely) it will be long after his children are grown. So in the interim, I am trying to find my way through this energetic mess of pain while not successfully attracting anyone else into my life since I’m still attached to him, and having a hard time finding that place of love. Do you know how to handle the situation when the connection is this toxic?
And thank you for your question and your truth!
First I am going to tell you that I am sorry for that pain you are suffering within.. I am going to be as direct with you as possible.. because you are in deep despair.. I am going to speak to the knowing in you for the twins have something significant in this understanding or lack of understanding thereof, this difficult truth about the pain is the truth of why twins are not together and are in a constant state of stand still. This truth is not a secret for it is only a truth about a mirror. If you don’t like what you see in the mirror you have two choices do something about it, or don’t do anything at all. Do you see the total picture here?
Twins continue to make the understanding of connection about the other not about themselves. This is a selfish, selfless love that has a deeper understanding of the core of love itself. If your not seeing the love you are and the love you are not in the mirror of your twin what are you going to do about the parts you are not ok with? Are they responsible for this or are you?
As a twin you are neither the runner or the chaser in this case.. the truth is you are chasing him and his determination of not wanting to be this or that within your life is cold and how did you state it… a statue.. This doesn’t make him the runner it makes you the runner not because you are running from him but here you clearly stated you are running from yourself. This is found in a truth you will not face and even seeing it here may be hard for you, but as a twin you effect any change in one way as it pertains to your connection. You face your fears and your pain! The more the pain the more you are avoiding a truth within you.
You stated I had issues with abandonment. Where in truth you are abandoning yourself even now and making him responsible for it. Is it your belief that he will come into your life and help you work your way through this? What have you stated here is your work not his! Share this with yourself, as he is your mirror, you have much to give to yourself in the form of love, in the effort of acceptance seeing through the pain. Pain always births love except in the regard of what the mind has been subjected to do in the dealing of that pain. Keep some now save some for later.. Do you like left overs? Then why do you feed yourself the same thing over and over?
Ask yourself what work have you completed that birthed through the pain to heal this abandonment you are faced with? If you are looking in the mirror of the twin to heal this, they are showing you the beautiful damage was done and you are the love they want regardless but do you see this? If not it is because you don’t see the total picture in the mirror! Do you see how you are in pain and haven’t seen the reward of going through the pain to heal yourself? You have even given it a time line. When his children are grown.. What does that mean? You have more time or you are giving it more time to be? Rejection of this nature is common and still a unconscious state of being. What not make a different choice and choose what you see in the mirror isn’t that what you have overlooked?
What has this got to do with the connection inside yourself and his connection inside of himself? EVERYTHING!
You are even leaving the door open to allow another to come into your life to come in and cover up your pain. Who is that shielding in the long run you or him?
Choosing another is making a solid decision to keep the abandonment alive but for who? For that matter you will not have to deal with the loneliness! These are all symptoms of a lack of forgiveness of the abandonment that you will not face. Isn’t this the place you need to accept the truth?
The truth is the suffering (mind made you that needs survival and reassurance to be right about why you are suffering) needs to be in active mode to keep the connection from cementing inside yourself and keep the identity of the poor me in effect, unless or until you decide you are all that you need. Isn’t that what you should see when you look in the mirror? Making the choice to no longer seek love in this way, for it will always bring you to the same choices and the same ways of inevitably bringing you the abandonment you call to in not healing it, by doing the work.
The work here is the choice to heal. You have to accept the despair of the pain and accept the choice that was made. These are the roots of the relationship in love that you are in depth. This twin is you.. as you are him.. In the acceptance of this know that his healing is completely activated in your healing that you give to yourself. As you heal you drive the polarity to connect in overdrive! Without this you are only causing the delays or time to be a consequence of not making this choice. The waiting game is this.. You either accept the choices of others and only see yourself as the choice or you keep running from yourself. More times then not when you choose to love yourself and the conditions placed on yourself the polarity has a very powerful effect.
The runner chaser written understanding is confusing in the worlds knowing of Twin Flames… Yet the truth can only come from a true solid twin flame connection. This is here not to make you see what you aren’t doing to get him back.. This is here to state how you get him back. You get him by getting yourself. This choice is what twins run from and are blind to, blame, or attack, and state their twin is the problem… Yet, they need to see this truth clearly with no way to hide from it. This is that truth!
I read this and realized just as the why I can’t be with my twin is so common is that you seek them as a whole and you are a half. This connection is not to halves that make a whole that is a soul mate connection. The connection of twins is two wholes that make a whole!
Regardless though, I want this truth to be known. You are whole they are whole..YOU are never half of anything! Only when you are no longer in denial of being broken and have made a truth of this very thing. You are whole! You are a big mess, a beautiful big mess and who isn’t?
It is only a mess your twin gives you energy to heal from in mirror form to be the excellence in energy you possess and are no matter the circumstances which are not you to begin with. Not with their help but with your own.. expect dreams, expect moments of pain, expect release in tears.. Mostly expect a deeper place of love to be birthed within you. This is the energy that makes this connection open to show you the source or god, or what it is that you feel in spiritual energy to guide and direct the energy through the love you are. Your connection is your spiritual practice and your love is the truth in divine form because you have done the work to be pure in your truth to know love to interact within it and make no one responsible for it to share completely with another. Breaking down any walls within you!
On another note…
He was honest and stated he is taking therapy.. Throughout his therapy no matter the relief he gets there is some healing in him that he is trying to obtain. He won’t have any significant breakthrough as you are still running.. You are running from yourself. Which is clearly the thing you are doing!
I did this to, we all do this, this is clear that the state in which I had issues was with abandonment which is still denial of the abandonment you are doing to yourself. This choice is due to lack of facing the deep painful issues within you that are seen in the mirror effect of him. (REMEMBER IT IS A MIRROR!)
Whether it is abandonment, rejection or even a dull sense of failure that you seem to be always running from. This is the time you need the twin to give you a true twin experience. This experience is the mirror effect of your being.. The way you are viewed from yourself and the love you are feeling at a deeper place inside you that states something powerful is pulling you. If you make him responsible for your happiness, your loneliness, your pain, this is what will make it seem like he is the runner. Where in fact you are!
You don’t make choices with yourself only to be for yourself. This is what is being shown in your need to pin point he won’t leave his children, or his wife for that matter. His morals of what he feels are something he can only work out within himself. From those that have come to us we have seen one common proven pointed truth that always seems to change everything it is the love and trust you place inside yourself as a choice to make yourself the only priority as you do for yourself.
You will not run from yourself as you start to be yourself.. It isn’t the quest or long road to say I don’t like parts of myself, I need another to make me whole when you already are whole. You are whole within the pains you still need to birth through. Did you realize that what you change in the mirror changes with you? If you make this about yourself and your love and your choice to heal the mirror will do the same? how can it not? The more you face the mirror and make those changes the more the mirror becomes attracted to you? I have a friend name Chaos she did the same thing, until it became the broken point of I don’t like what I see in the mirror and am changing it. The mirror became more attractive to her. Yet she is not all the way there. She did get the effect. Yet what if she was more vibrant in that energy to do for herself what would the impact be?
Acceptance of this is very emotional and it will cause stirring that needs to be embraced to understand the vibrational energy you are and how it has impacted your foundation in being. Your soul is beautiful no matter how messy. It meshes with another who is the whole part of the messy that is you.
This is the straight answer to why.. It is only as valuable to you as you want it to be. We walk others through this and watch them blossom. Yet it has to be your own suffering that needs to be called to. There are not many who will seek this or embrace it. Even reading this giving it a thought is causing grief of despair yet what if you birthed through it? How beautiful could it be?
If you need guidance or the love of energy of twins to get you through we do offer assistance in bringing you through this. Just email us which is found on our gravatar.
With love this message is placed here for you!
Hope it gave you the light…