I recently have found that it is discovery of things outside ourselves is what we seek! This is what we won’t see inside ourselves yet it will give you reflection! We can be alone, we can be in a dead end marriage, or relationship. And not feel dead but rather just going through the motions of what we don’t give to ourselves.
The following 5 choices you may or may not see before you, but realize this open door is there before you!
1) He/She is selfish and doesn’t see me for what I see in myself!
As much as we chose this statement it does have it’s place, it could be that you have not shared it and are now living two lives in which one is true and one is false. This can only be kept up for a limited time. Time will catch up with this at some point and the role that you are playing will become tiresome and repetitive you will seek something outside yourself and no longer hear yourself or your partner within the relationship when this is in place. You will start to day dream what you want to cover up your pain or lack of what it is in you that needs to be fulfilled. This can only be fulfilled by you! You will oscillate between leaving your partner or not cheating on your partner but at some point you are going to feel cheated on as you have done so to yourself repeatedly.
2) I don’t know how to express what I feel as it is foreign to me,
I know that I have no idea what it means to hurt another yet I will hurt them cause I am hurting myself. That is a better interpretation of what this is.. your choice will be “I will hide, I will fear saying what I feel I need to, I will walk away when things get emotional, or I will attack or defend why I am the way I am repeatedly.” I will not see how to make a decision when it comes to being open and honest about what I am experiencing! I have never seen change in my existence and will not change it because I am comfortable with this now. I don’t have the tools to speak from feelings and don’t see a need for them. I am fine as I am, anyone would be lucky to have me. More so cause I don’t have myself someone out there will make up for what I don’t give myself. When they take responsibility for my happiness I won’t have to! Who will accept me for this? It has many forms to how this can sound inside. But it’s fear is often something that comes from being comfortable with abandonment. When you are taught abandonment you cycle this by abandoning yourself then it makes it common sense to have this as a place in you to experience. It is habit forming. To sabotage yourself or any relationship you will have, this will follow you! To include never being satisfied with your relationship with yourself, your relationship with your partner, work or career you will do this as you do any other habit.
3) I am not going to seek help in this, I can handle anything I am able to heal myself I have made it this far. In the present generation there is a known way of non communication. We have moved further and further away from communicating what we think and what we feel unless we create an identity out of it. Internet, text messages, profiles of what we see in the world will consume. We have lost the need to communicate in form inside of ourselves. Even technology plays a significant part in how we disconnect from true connection into ourselves and others. You will create a profile to meet others, you will state what you are looking! Only to find it’s opposite finding you consistently.
I am looking for my soulmate, yes you could have me at hello if you took the time to understand what this means to me. If not check the next profile and I wish you luck on your quest. There is nothing in any profile that will show the magnificence of the being you are and the feeling you feel inside to give to another! This is inside you that will not surface if you never give yourself what you wish to receive from another! Do you realize when you find this in yourself you will emit a light that will draw to you what you give yourself in excess?
You see it isn’t about the profile as much as it is about the real place inside you that doesn’t need to project a role you are willing to play to meet someone to be with! You have all that you will ever need inside and need to find that which compliments you both. It is possible the door is open!
4) If you can’t trust yourself you can’t trust your partner. It is in this that we birth or kill what we can do to others. If you can be oblivious to needs or wants in yourself, you will at some point out of the role not be able to meet or find the needs of your partner. You will not trust what you can’t see. Not that you are incapable of feeling or thinking it through for yourself. You just can only see the line in which you walk anything outside that path is uncomfortable and not something you will seek or allow into your existence.
When you learn to cross the street and hold someone’s hand you then will venture out and learn to do so yourself. If you have fear in it you will not be comfortable. However, if you get hit by a car chances are you will wait until no action is in place to cross the street as it would be to uncomfortable to cross when too much is going on. It takes common sense to cross safely. But to find this place of common sense you will either be at one place in the spectrum in the extreme, middle or low expectation of what you will do when it comes to you. Learn to be at one with all things and trust that it is the experience you are having. When you can trust this about yourself you will trust this about anything else. You will not find history in thinking about it, you will find acceptance and humbleness in being in it as it happens!
5) All of the things in your life are in your life, This doesn’t mean you make the past into any enemy in existence it means you allow those things to be the beautiful pieces that make up you in this moment. Every pain, Every pleasure, Every love is a part of the existence you are in. This opens your eyes in many ways when accepted for just that and allows you and accepts you to keep you beautiful, peaceful and in love with yourself in all ways possible. For without this love what is the love you say you give your partner? What you reject about yourself you will teach others to reject about you. What you hide from yourself you will hide from others. What you love about yourself you will allow others to love about you. What you deny yourself in knowing you will deny others to know about you. Would you ever want your love to be in the dark? Then don’t make an enemy about these things about you, your past, your pain, your non acceptance, your ability to hate things, your ability to hide any truth. In your knowing you! Know this is true, so why not make it your reality?
Sincerely and deeply in love