I had lived almost 30 something years of my experience here as a human being.. doing things by thought rather than by something unimaginable.. I realized that this was not something that I chose it was something that I created by logic… My father was of the mind… and my mother of the heart… Two opposites that found each other and stayed together for a time to open a gateway for myself and my sister to come. They shared a great love but when it came down to the mind and heart… They were always separate. I can speak about what I was then but not at this time.. I was more typical than a typical male with no conscience, not able to trust anyone yet I had something in me that was killing me.. I was always on the edge of a dark side that for some reason my heart wouldn’t let me go all the way to.. It was like a barrier between the point of no return vs past it..
Everyday of my experience now is filled with magic.. with messages, with a deeper place of being awake some call this a deeper level of consciousness. I can’t claim it for it to be something to challenge.. I don’t understand challenge all I can see is the light in everything.. Every lesson deep with something of more depth for me to experience.
For a few years in rebirth I dreamed of a lake that also seemed at times to be an ocean.. As I became truth.. Which meant no more hiding from myself or anyone else.. I emerged a different light that covered this lake or ocean.. At times I would be on the top of the water being roughed around by the waves.. And every time I would start to sink.. I would wave my arms feverishly trying to stay afloat.. And I would wake up feeling that I would have drowned in my sleep.. This went on for some time.. It seemed the more drama that was in my experience the worse the waters would be and then other things would try and take me down.. All of this seemed to be something that just kept happening to me over and over.. night after night.. After about a year or so of this.. I realized I no longer could take it anymore. I started to learn to meditate and started to experience great light when I would go deep enough.. When I say deep enough it is to give you a perception of what I experienced. However the way to explain this to make sense of it to human form.
One night I dreamed I was back at the same lake.. It seemed calm.. and it seemed as though no movement was able to be seen. If you ever seen still water this is the exact way this looked. I decided I was going to go to it.. As I got up close to the water I noticed it was very blue. I looked around and saw a park bench and a very large tree.. It was magnificent in size.. And it spoke in wind motions the more I looked at it the more I realized it was talking utilizing the wind..
It asked me to go into the water.. I said I am scared… it said “of what?” I couldn’t answer cause it seemed as though I had no concept of thought.. It was then that I jumped in… I didn’t question! I didn’t even have a thought. As I got in I was quickly moved to the center as though something had guided me.. When I got out there.. I started to sink.. as I did I could feel my body wanting to fight to shrug to go back to shore.. But something just said let go… As I did I went under the water.. I went all the way down.. it seemed that I was just going and going.. the more I looked down the darker it became.. It was then that I realized it was not just deep it was very calm.. I became amazed at how much I was able to see, hear, smell, touch, and remarkably taste.. I didn’t feel lost anymore.. I didn’t feel scared anymore.. As I finally reached a lower level it seemed to be a ledge which I could go even deeper if I chose.. and then another and then another… That night was the most remarkable sleep I ever had.. When I woke up things were very vibrant… things were very alive.. I could hear things I never heard, I could feel things I never felt, I could experience a sound that was more silent yet I knew something was truly embraced within me..
I can only tell you from this experience that I was touched deeply to the core and realized that my core was my calling.. Inside of it.. I could hear her and even more than that I could hear myself.. Not my thoughts but something deeper in me.. I became both that night.. I could experience both sides.. The woman who creates… a man who creates.. both simultaneously.. I could see the roots from the big tree that stood alive and communicating with me without thought placed expression.. A light that continued to get only brighter because I surrendered to not just the unreal pain I was within that killed me, but that it was there that I could let go.. All messages are available to you.. You can see it around you! You can feel it…
We are all connected.. You can reach a depth with another it is why you ascended.. some have their whole soul complete and do different things.. Yet those that seek companionship there is a greater thing in you that will bring this to you when you truly go inside yourself and just surrender.. Answers are not out of your reach.. They are a part of your destiny.. Just allow yourself to hear it.. no fear!
And always know the present moment is all you ever have!