The rebirth… December 13, 2007

It came out of me today… the pain.. the lostness.. the feelings of where I am now.. how a dream could be shattered at the drop of a hat.. I am lost within myself and then connecting to you I could feel the paths you have before you and it became dark and became very cloudy… my judgement, my ability to know right from wrong my own words evaporated… I am in love with you and my connection to you is very much real and will never leave it is just as it is.. and I can feel you wanting to protect me from this.. you are.. and you always have been.. and knowing I have always been ok with being in the midst of turmoil and of cannot do that to me… I realized you saw me come from that and saw something deep within…. you were the smile that came from me from a life of not knowing what it was to smile for the reason from within your heart… I can feel you now.. I can feel that emptiness in my stomach and can tell that you are worried about me.. don’t you have too many to in your life to be worried about?? I want you to realize something…maybe not now.. maybe not soon.. but it will happen… we will be together as I will wait for you… I will wait for the love we have it is all I ever dreamed and will dream of… it is so what I am born to do… yes it is a bump in the road but somethings you can’t stop from happening as we found out.. but I am not going to ever let you go inside.. I will always hold this connection to you and protect it with all that I am… I could be on the other side of the earth and hear you call to me.. when you need and want me… you will come to me.. and I will be right there waiting for you.. I will be where I will always be with you in that place where the eyes speak and the words don’t need to be said… it is who we are and it is the greatest love of all in the world… the world is not supposed to know of it’s existence but I feel we will share it with them.. and show them it is truly real…we will show them in all that we do… I still am growing and I am still learning to heal things in me.. things that made no sense.. things that did make sense.. with you and now for the time being without you I will learn to heal it alone… We are in love.. and I guess I felt that was strong enough to withstand anything to include a child that was not mine.. it can, could and it will.. and I will give you space to get through this.. and will wait for as long as I have too.. I found what it is… I found it in you and only you… no one else will get it ever… To have found that is something you can’t ignore or want to ignore.. I want you.. I want you in the worst way… you are the smile that will always be on my face… I can let you go.. but promise me no matter what if we get our chance and you decide to come back.. you better come with all that you are… and let’s just go… no looking back only forward… if and when you do… I will be ready no matter what I am doing… It will be a mute point… do you understand that??? do you get it??? yes we can feel each other.. and can feel each others everything.. and I don’t want to stop talking to you… email… i.m. or texting.. I want to be connected to you someway… yes on top of all that love you are the best friend I never had…not to leave where we have to search the earth to find each other… I would not be able to do that and be ok…. I would be too ill… I know you feel the same I can feel it.. I am going to bond even stronger with my son and even more important I am going to continue to learn to be happy with me… learn more about the slow learner I am and why… I have to be ready for you when you come back to me.. even if you don’t see it happening.. please don’t ever tell me that.. cause it is a bold face lie…  cause even I can have visions of what is… and you are that vision… don’t know how I am seeing it through all the fog.. but I do.. I love you not just of this place or time, but out of everything I am…

Published by Relationship Reinvented

5 thoughts on “The rebirth… December 13, 2007

  1. Reading your words here are like reading my own. Your wrote this in December of 2007 and in January of 2008 I met my Twin Flame. Our experiences are very similar, yours and mine. Your words could be my words as this is exactly what I felt with my own Twin Flame.

    You talked about sharing this love with all the world and that is the main purpose of Twin Flames Clark, to share this new template of relationships with all of humanity. This is why Twin Flames volunteered to come back to this planet and find each other, to experience this love that is so far beyond the relationships that have abounded on this planet for millenia. We are what is called “walking the world back to love”.

    In meeting my own Twin my own journey began. I was starting to wake up and was beginning to find sites that talked about the truth of our existence but it was a slow painful process. Meeting him put me on the fast track of learning and growing spiritually. The painful part also got worse as I began clearing all of my own old patterns and belief systems. There are days when I cry and cry and cry and then there are days when even crying can’t be done because the pain is so far beyond tears. I could open my mouth but no sound comes out. There is nothing to express that pain.

    When we first met, it was online, it was like coming home, that’s the only way I can describe it. He lives in Barbados and I live in Newfoundland, Canada, so we are many miles apart. But the first night I talked to him on MSN Messenger, it was so far beyond anything I had ever experienced, the way we would say the same things at the same time, the way we just seemed to know what the other was thinking and feeling, the joy of being in each others presence or energy if you will. We talked for 5 hours straight that first night and neither of us wanted to say goodnight because neither of us wanted to break that connection. But by the time we did say goodnight I was madly in love with that man! We talked every chance we could get, either online or phone or e-mails or text messages. This would be the mystical state that Mel talked about in one of his videos that I typed up and put on my own page.

    However after 5 months of this, a friend of mine, a co-worker who is computer savvy, was trying to set up a chat site for me to use when I was at work. He’s good at that and as I worked nights in the Sleep Studies Lab and my Twin was a night auditor in a hotel in Barbados, that was our best time for chatting. However the hospital internet security system blocked all of the common chat sites so I needed one that the system wouldn’t block. That’s where my friend came in. In setting up this site for me, he had to check usernames or domains or whatever to make sure it wasn’t already in use.

    That’s when he came across a post by my Twin on another woman’s profile on a dating site that literally blew my world apart. Apparently he had had a long term relationship with this woman and even though there was no indication he had been in contact for the time we had been in communication, this post was telling her he had missed her and wanted to chat. I was devastated to say the least. I went back through the posts between them on that site so that is how I know that he had told her he loved her and she him. They had been planning to meet before I came on the scene. From that point on we were only in communication off and on for the next year. I discovered more and more posts by him on other women’s profiles on various sites telling me that he was looking for something or someone other than me or what we shared together.

    Then in March of 2009 he got laid off from his job and pretty much dropped off the face of the earth where I was concerned. From then till now we have had brief times of communication followed by weeks/months of no contact at all. Now Mel and Nicole describe the stages of a Twin Flame relationship in their videos on Youtube. I figure based on what they say, my Twin and I were right on track, as much as it hurt. But again as I have posted on my own page, something changed and he became less and less like the man I met and fell in love with. At this point I’m no longer sure that he is my Twin.

    Then in July 2010 I came across a picture of a man who was the brother of a Facebook friend also in Barbados. The picture of her brother was posted because he had died that day. I didn’t even know she had a brother but all of a sudden I was consumed with grief for a man I didn’t even know existed till he died! I have since been told by several psychics, and psychics isn’t really the right term for what they are, that he is my Twin Flame. These “psychics” can see the connection between Twin Flames and both of them saw it between myself and the man in the photo as I had to send photos of both him and myself.

    I also sent photos of myself and the first man I thought was my Twin. The only connection between that first man and myself that they could see was that of an energy vampire, meaning his cords in me were draining my energy and that I am not the only one he has these cords attached to. They saw darkness in him. I was told to cut all ties with him, to block him from contacting me, to delete all e-mails and photos and whatever I had of him. One of the “psychics” even spent about a month cutting the cords from him to me as once cut he would re-attach them again. So it was an ongoing process for a bit. The thing is though is that he may not even be aware of what he’s doing on a conscious level.

    However I have not been able to forget that first man even in light of being told the man in the photo is my true Twin Flame. I have asked for answers but what I get is unclear. I have done what they told me to do and destroyed everything I had of the first man. None of it matters because my thoughts keep returning to him. Everything I read or hear about Twin Flames brings him to mind and not the man in the photo. It’s been a very difficult road for me and I’m still uncertain about who is who.

    However I keep my relationship with my Twin more in the spiritual realm so does it really matter which of them is my Twin? I don’t know. I connect with his energy and am in communication with my Twin in that way and not on this physical plane, so my relationship is intact in that way no matter what transpires here in the physical. I feel in time and maybe as we get closer to that ascension time, the truth will be made known to me and to all of us. Then or shortly after that time we will be reunited with our Twin Flames.

    So this is why I say to you that it’s an ongoing process. I am continually working on myself, clearing out the old and making room for the new. It’s not easy but it has to be done if we want any chance at being with our Twins in the future. I feel that as we work on ourselves we are helping them too through our connections with them. Not sure if this helps but I’m open to discussing this if you want to. Take care and stay blessed!


  2. My friend, that was a heart wrenching story, I can share with you this, I was much the man who had the cords of the evil living my existence, he had to die, I was faced with a mirror of truth and that truth is what was the death of a former self that was a product of what I was placed through and kept myself in punishment of to inflict that pain on everyone else as well. I was what is here on this blog, I came back as I was meant to arrive in the first realm. Had I elected to come back as I was, I would have been dead shortly their after I saw it in multiple ways the same outcome, it was not to be as it was. And the balance had to come with a price. A price that would have come no matter the outcome in soul, a human life was claimed for my coming back. It was a painful heart that couldn’t any longer experience a soul in form. So my mother was taken, it was sudden and it was very painful, in my infant years as a soul experiencing this connection, I had to hurt with love everyone I ever hurt in being of my truth that was filled with lie after lie. I had to face it directly and ascended with each pain I embraced within myself. I endured what most would have given up on in minds dominate control a very painful experience of stating what the latter did. My twin had married another, had a child with him in 2008 he was safe and she needed to be safe from me. I told her when she conceived without her even knowing.. It was painful as I asked her to come with me and we would raise him as our own… Yes she had a boy which was told she will never have and she was pregnant, the connection was birthed in me in my death which was suicide of self. I was still trying to experience the beyond love place I had in myself with another. I didn’t see all the signs yet something in me kept emerging.

    I felt the greatest pains of my life with the facing of all the human existence I had created in my life. It was as painful as it was releasing. Those twin flames that have not made it to face this, asked to be removed as they didn’t want to be consumed by what was in this place. I feel your twin has passed, as a message came from me to find you to speak of the horrible death that the soul encounters when the spark of human existence ensues painful chasing of what is believed to be everywhere but the true place of connection it exist. This could be the form of human this person is living now with no trace of your twin flame inside him and each soul emits a vibrational energy that connected to it’s counterpart gives the alternative to doing what is in connection! In your dreams you feel a presence come to you. You almost don’t wish to wake for that very reason. It is the calling to the light of soul that binds you! It is a cocoon that we are in of light. It is comforting and gives great sleep yet will give restlessness if you seek outside yourself to find it. A twin flame that can find itself abusing it’s gifts will meet an untimely demise as it’s purpose was lost yet not the connection itself it remains. I was almost that twin flame. And that human in my being was removed to allow me to remain. So much to the depth of love I am able to exist in with her and all of what we endure. It had it’s fights with all things human yet the calmness of the flame and the continued igniting consumed me at some point. You can speak through both of you now, as you embrace this inside you the gifts will come. It is no different unless you make it about the physical. Which you have not elected 100% to do. You will be taken on many journeys in slumber and in mediation that will show you inside! No other, not even myself will be able to speak to you inside to say. You are never without each other you share the same soul. One soul can consume one body to carry this, and can still give a great love to a soul mate, not a twin flame however. It will have it’s ability to still generate love. It is not about the element of time as much as it is the understanding of removing free will and embracing ones calling. You can hear it inside you. It doesn’t have words it has the pull of the energy between you. I hope you understand to where I point. If you would like to email me and we can talk as much as you need to. I have answers but not like what was said to you from anyone or anything else. It is a place of no mind. If you read my blog you will find I don’t have those words that are taught in the way they come out is from that which needs no pointing only gravitating to! With love, Clark

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: